And Business Is Good

by Michael Todd

  “Not bad.” He ran his hands over his chest. “Not bad at all.”

  “Come on,” Katie said. “We have a demon’s ass to kick.”

  Calvin and Katie headed back toward the demon, firing shots to draw its attention away from the cops it was currently tormenting by the cars. Katie chuckled as Calvin bounced up and down, cracking his neck back and forth.

  He was not ready to go down, nor would he ever do so without a fight.

  “All right, you bitch-assed punk!” Calvin yelled. “Thought you could get rid of me, huh? Well, my friend, I have some news for you! It’s gonna take a lot more than your punk ass and a rock to take me out of commission.” Calvin got into preaching mode, “I don’t give a fuck what you think you are here to do! I’m here to tell you that it’s time to sit the fuck down and shut the hell up as we open an old-fashioned can of whup-ass!”

  Katie pulled her sword out with her right hand and held her knife in her left.

  Slowly she started to walk toward the demon, bobbing and weaving as she approached him with an evil smirk on her face.

  She was tired of being pushed around by this thing. It was time for him to step up or go the hell back where he came from.

  Dodging a swipe of his claws, she sliced across his ankle with the sword, laughing and running around to the other side as he reached down and grabbed his ankle with a screech.

  “Aw, did that hurt?” Katie made a pouty face. “Poor little demon baby.”

  She charged when his attention shifted due to a high-velocity round of some sort hitting him in the head. She leapt and stabbed him in the neck with her knife, pulling it back out as she dropped back to the ground, her eyes wide with excitement.

  The demon screamed in pain and grabbed the wound as the magic of Katie’s blade burned through him like the fire that raged on the outside. Before he could react, she slashed his knee with her sword and skipped backward, taunting him again.

  “What’s wrong?” She laughed. “Does that feel like hell and fire all wrapped up in a single stab?”

  “I will crush you,” he growled, holding his neck, his eyes red with fury and damnation.

  “I don’t know about that,” Katie retorted. “You seem to be having a rough go at it. Do you need a timeout? Maybe a minute to gather those tears I think I see starting to fall down your face?”

  Don’t try this kindergarten bullshit with a higher-level demon, but this guy? Go ahead—steal his lunch money. He has the emotional resilience of a two-year-old.

  The beast growled and lunged at her, but she dodged to the side and sliced his other ankle. He roared in pain and tripped, taking out a mausoleum and at least three headstones as he toppled to the ground.

  Katie risked a smile at Calvin, who just shook his head as he limped away.

  He shook his head. “Always playin’.”

  “Come on, big-ass goon,” Pandora taunted, speaking through Katie. “I’ve seen you in hell, so I know how tiny and weak you really are. There’s no way you are going to beat these humans. You will fail at this, just like you did the last time. Oh, and way worse than the time you tried to hook up with me. I know you didn’t think I would be interested in that tiny-ass dick.”

  “You bitch,” the demon growled. “Your brother will come for you, and when he does he will not only kill that stupid bitch you are riding around in, but he will send you so far into the depths of hell it will take you centuries to make your way back out.”

  Sounds like a nice hiking vacation, Pandora quipped. Too bad he will keep you tied up for his own personal pleasure. You know how he likes a good torture on Tuesday nights…and every other night, for that matter.

  “He is coming, and you are not prepared. I can see it.” The demon chuckled evilly as he maneuvered himself around. “No matter what you say to me, it does not take away from the fact that he is going to crush you like ants. This is his planet now, and you are powerless to stop him.”

  “I feel like you have a bit of a crush on my brother.” Pandora/Katie laughed. “Does he know this? I mean he is as free and open as the rest of us, but I’m pretty sure he takes his sex with chicks. I mean, I don’t want to break your heart, but there’s no chance for the two of you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.”

  “Enough, you stupid witch,” the demon snarled. “Are we going to end this, or do I need to just go ahead and step on you to put you out of my misery?”

  “I don’t like feet,” Pandora/Katie replied. “I never did. I mean, to each his own. Everybody got a thang, but your foot fetish is really not my forte.”

  Katie watched as the demon stood back up. He was tired enough now that he wasn’t on fire anymore—he wasn’t wasting his energy like that at this point. Before he could get his footing she moved forward and leapt high enough into the air from the damaged mausoleum to grab the demon by the face and plunge her sword into his shoulder.

  The demon screamed in pain and swiped across his face, sending Katie plummeting down to the ground. Her back cracked over a pile of stones and rubble.

  She couldn’t move.

  I got this, Pandora said, starting to heal her.

  You might want to hurry up, Katie moaned, watching the demon pull the sword out and throw it to the side.

  As Calvin ran forward he took out his new short sword and, slowing down, jammed it into the beast’s thigh. He pulled it right back out as the demon knocked him over. Calvin slid backward, grabbing his chest and wincing as he slowly worked to get himself back up and into the fight.

  The beast hobbled slightly, but kept moving toward Katie.

  Okay, go! Pandora shouted.

  Katie rolled over and got up, rolling her shoulders and grimacing.

  Nice work, she admitted.

  I know. Pandora chuckled.

  Katie met the demon head-on, pulling a gun out and firing it into his face as she jumped over the arm he swiped at her.

  She grabbed a small piece of his barely-there clothing and used it to swing around his body, then pressed the barrel of her gun into his stomach hard and fired several rounds into him.

  This time they pierced his skin, but it only slowed him down for a moment. Katie bitched and grabbed a reload when the gun just clicked.

  Watch out, Pandora yelled, taking control of her body and hurling her to the ground.

  The beast swung hard but missed, knocking Calvin, who had just gotten back into the fight, from his feet.

  He slid backward through the grass, rolling over several times before his back jammed into a stone wall.

  Katie looked over her shoulder at Calvin and growled, tired of the demon trying to kill her friend. They were both battered and bruised to hell, but the fight was nowhere near over.

  This beast had to be taken down for good. Katie didn’t want to fight him again if she could help it. She pushed away from the demon and stood up, slotting her pistols into their holsters and picking up her sword from the ground.

  She wobbled back and forth while Pandora frantically scanned her body and tried to heal her as fast as she could.

  The demon laughed. “Give up, little human, and maybe T’Chezz will have mercy on you.” He considered his statement before adding, “But probably not.”

  “Not even in your wildest wet dreams,” Katie/Pandora growled, red flashing in her eyes.

  22

  The fight continued, hit after hit, wound after wound, healing after healing.

  Katie stopped attacking for a few moments and leaned against a statue, hiding and trying to gather her strength.

  Her body was covered in blood, and this time most of it was her own. She looked at the wall Calvin had landed against a few moments before, but he was nowhere in sight.

  She hoped that Eric had gotten him out of there. One more blow, and he would surely be dead.

  She shook her head, completely out of breath and almost tapped out from the amount of stress she had put her human body through. Pandora could heal her over and over, but eventually there would become a poi
nt where she just couldn’t take it anymore.

  You are running low, Pandora admitted. But so is he.

  This needs to end. Katie panted as she spoke. And it needs to end now, before anyone else dies.

  Including us, Pandora stated.

  Agreed.

  Katie took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the statue. The demon was licking his wounds, keeping one eye out for the next attack.

  He straightened up and balled his fists, chest heaving, body injured and torn. Katie limped forward carrying her sword, staring up into the demon’s eyes.

  No words needed to be said; they both knew they were down to one last battle. One or both of them would fall, but it had to be finished—neither had anything left.

  The demon stepped forward and bent down, roaring loudly, and sending spit flying everywhere.

  Pandora bitched, Damn, a little Listerine would go a long way.

  Katie tipped her head back and let out her own warcry, raising her sword high.

  The dawn sunlight glistened off the metal as she lowered it and readied herself for the attack.

  They began to circle each other, moving in tune with each other’s steps and carefully planning their next move. Just as Katie was about to charge shots rang out again, this time spraying bullets all over the beast’s torso. Katie’s eyes glistening as she glanced at Eric, who was holding Calvin up and walking slowly toward them.

  “Come on, you limp-dick motherfucker,” Calvin yelled, firing at the demon again. “You want to show me who’s boss? You want to have a dick-measuring contest? I promise you, my huge cock will win every single motherfucking time.”

  Katie smiled and shook her head as he moved closer, firing bullet after bullet. The demon was weak; he could barely fight back anymore.

  The beast backed up slowly, swatting at the bullets that stung his skin as blood splashed from the entry points. His skin wasn’t nearly as tough as it had been at the beginning of the fight.

  She sheathed her sword and stepped back, watching the demon grumble and grasp for a break in the fire.

  When Calvin’s automatic weapon ran out he threw it to the side and pulled his pistol out, stopping a moment. Eric still held him up.

  Calvin fired the pistol at the demon’s face and hit him in the cheek, then the ear, and then right between the eyes. A viscous black droplet of blood bubbled up where the bullet had entered, and the demon lifted his hand to rub it away.

  His eyes were still red, but the end of the battle showed on his face. Katie was taken back at the heroic nature that Calvin displayed in the face of something so permanent, so finite as death.

  Her pride surging through every vein in her body like an uncontrollable fire.

  This was a new kind of intensity. A desire…no, a need to take this demon’s life.

  Katie needed to do it for herself, but she also needed to do it for Calvin. If he died, Calvin would see the demon go down before he did.

  She needed him to see that he was a hero, that he was a better man than that demon could ever be. She moved over to Calvin and pushed the barrel of his clicking pistol toward the ground.

  “You did well, my friend,” Katie told him softly.

  “And I look good doing it, even half-dead.” He chuckled, keeping his eyes on the demon, who was panting too.

  She smiled. “Hell yeah, you do.”

  He looked at her for a moment, a smirk moving over his lips before his eyes drooped and fatigue washed over his face.

  “Finish this,” he requested quietly. “I want to go home.”

  “You got it.” She nodded, unbuckling her vest.

  Wait, what are you doing? Pandora squawked. Pick up your knives! You need those knives!

  She dropped the vest on the ground and winked to Calvin, who just shook his head. She knew he thought she was nuts, but that didn’t mean he didn’t trust that she knew what she was doing.

  Katie turned back toward the beast and took off, gaining speed as she dodged the rocks and ruts in the ground.

  Fuck, Katie, Pandora screamed. You are insane! You are going to get us both killed. Go back and get your fucking knives!

  Katie jumped from stone to stone and launched herself at the demon, hands outstretched.

  She landed on his chest and held on tightly as he tried to look at her. The heat from his skin surged through her body.

  Her destiny was at her fingertips. At that moment she looked up with a glint in her eyes. She tuned out the screams around her, the growls of the demon she was perched on, and the voice of the demon bitching endlessly inside her. As she reached back, the tired muscles in her arms shook wildly.

  She thrust her arm forward, fingers transforming into a demon’s claws.

  She jammed her long talons into the beast’s chest, feeling the hot blood pour over her skin as she pulled them back out. He screamed and writhed, pulling at his chest. He dropped to his knees for a moment and Katie slid down, then kicked off the ground and his leg to propel her body up and over his shoulder. She pushed her claws into his back and let go.

  When he arched his back high into the air she slid to the ground, not waiting for his next move. Katie moved in front of the demon, kicking off his calf and up to his head to slash him hard across the face. The layers of black skin peeled back, and dark black blood dripped onto the grass and sizzled below the beast.

  Katie jumped off him again and somersaulted to stand back up, watching him writhing in agony while holding the wounds she had just inflicted.

  Pandora was silent, and so was the air around her. Her talons were even stronger and more powerful than her special blades, or any other weapon she had ever used on a demon.

  Previously, demons had only reacted this way to pain not caused by her knives when Pandora pulled them from their human capsules and sent them straight back to hell.

  Pandora must have worked through Katie to make her aware of the possibility and give her the use of her claws to defeat this disgusting beast once and for all.

  The demon made its way back to its feet, where it wobbled back and forth. Katie breathed heavily, opening and closed her claws and staring up at the creature. It stumbled backward but caught its balance, now holding the wound in its chest.

  “You still haven’t had enough?” Katie ground out. “We are the inhabitants of this beautiful planet, not you. You are just a filthy fucking demon that is unknown to us, and when something unknown and dangerous attacks this planet we make sure it dies here.” She spat on the ground. “You are no exception.”

  The demon laughed loudly, then wheezed for air.

  “You stupid little bitch! You can kill me as many times as you want,” he taunted, his voice patchy, “but in the end T’Chezz will come for you.” He waved his hand toward the cops. “For all of you, and you will watch every single one of your friends die an agonizing death. Mark my words: this will never be over.” He hissed, “Never!”

  “You want to bet?” Katie growled, moving forward.

  She slashed her claws across his calves and he fell to the ground, his head bobbing back and forth. She jumped on top of him and climbed onto his chest, from which perch she stared into his red eyes and smiled.

  “Your kind will never win,” she whispered as she glared down at him. She could tell he was out of gas.

  “Katie,” Damian yelled, throwing her his cross.

  She reached toward the priest, her arm changing back to normal as she caught his cross and gripped it tightly in her palm. She slammed the golden object onto the beast’s chest.

  He screamed in pain and his flesh sizzled and melted as she pushed it harder into his skin. She had to hold on and dodge his arms and fists as he thrashed around.

  She gritted her teeth and shoved, visions of Calvin, the dead gangsters, the dead cops, and so many others flashing through her head. She screamed, matching his shrieks as she dug the cross into his chest cavity.

  “What is T’Chezz’s plan? Tell me!” Pandora/Katie screamed. “It is not too lat
e. You are going to be gone for a long-assed time. Tell me where his plans lead!”

  The beast screeched louder, fire bursting from his fingertips. Katie could barely hear Pandora screaming for answers; trying to get something—anything—out of the beast’s thoughts.

  Her rage had taken over, and she was out of control. She gripped the cross firmly in her hand, staring at the demon’s face as he groaned and growled his pain.

  “Tell her,” Katie screamed.

  “Who brought you back?” Pandora asked. “Who is here, and where is he? Is he here? In LA? Goddamn it, Barro, tell me something!”

  Katie could tell the beast could barely think, much less answer questions. She pulled the cross halfway out and held it next to his barely beating black heart. She breathed deeply in anger, wanting answers but wanting revenge so much more.

  “You are going to die,” Katie growled. “Tell her what she wants to know and I will end your agony.”

  “You…” the demon spluttered, “are all going to die.”

  Katie snarled as the beast ran his eyes over her and opened them in surprise, then fear.

  “Wh-wh-what are you?” the demon choked out.

  “Your worst nightmare,” Katie growled, shoving the cross back into his chest.

  The beast’s head flew back, and his arms fell to his sides. Fire shot from his eyes and mouth, shooting straight up toward the sky. Katie pulled her hand from his chest and stood over him, watching the life leave his ugly and battered body. Without warning he burst into flames, engulfing both him and Katie.

  Everyone in cemetery went silent and Damian’s eyes grew wide, watching the ball of flame in front of him. There was no sign of Katie.

  The fire burned brightly for several minutes, visible from the sky as another police helicopter circled around, lighting up the morning dew on the cemetery below.

  The pilot and copilot searched the ground, looking for any sign of the girl who had finished the beast, but the fire was too high and too hot for him to get a good look.

  “The beast is on fire,” the pilot reported into his headset. “I’m swinging around to take another look for the girl.”