The Truth in Lies (The Truth in Lies Saga)

by McDonald, Jeanne

“Fine, I’m up,” I grumbled.

  She handed me the cup of coffee and opened her balled fist to expose the Tylenol she brought for me. “I thought you could use these.”

  Pushing myself up, I leaned back against the metal rod headboard. The cold steel pressed against my damp back, sending chills down my spine. I pulled my knees to my chest and took the coffee and Tylenol from Olivia’s outstretched hands, relishing the heat of the cup against my cold fingers.

  “Thanks,” I muttered behind the cup, swallowing down the painkillers.

  She leaned back on the bed, placing her palms flat against the mattress to steady herself. “Mind telling me what happened last night? Or should I say this morning?”

  Slurping the warm liquid from the cup gave me a miniscule moment to collect my thoughts. It wouldn’t be easy explaining to her what I had done. I had always been an unusual person. Confrontation was something I simply couldn’t bear, so I always ran away from it. But at the same time, I didn’t give up easily. As long as something or someone was worth fighting for, I would stay. I would fight. Olivia knew this about me, better than anyone. So, by me leaving, she knew I was going against my nature.

  I glanced at her over the brim of my coffee cup; my eyes felt puffy and swollen. Olivia tilted her head with her perfectly sculpted eyebrows raised in expectation.

  There was no way for me to get around this conversation, so, I placed the coffee cup on my knees, keeping my fingers wrapped around it.

  “I left Nate.”

  “Um, yeah, I gathered that much.”

  I circled my finger around the rim of the cup, searching into the dark brew for what to say.

  “Liv, I couldn’t take it anymore. Being here last night with y’all made me realize that I’m miserable. When a total stranger confronted me about my problems, and was able to read me like an open book, I knew I needed to make a change.”

  Olivia shifted her weight, crossing her leg, letting her long limb dangle over the other. “So, that’s what was going on between you and Drew when we came back. What did he say to you?”

  I took a long sip of my coffee. That conversation was private and I really didn’t want to reveal what he had said to me.

  “Not much. He just said you were worried about me, and that he could tell I was hurting,” I adlibbed.

  Olivia nodded, smiling softly. “That sounds about right for Drew. He basically did the same thing with me on our first date. He has a way of reading people.”

  “That he does,” I mumbled into my cup.

  “So, I take it Nate was there when you got home last night?” she asked.

  I nodded solemnly.

  “How did he take it?”

  Resting the coffee cup back on my knees, I started to feel the tears pressing against my swollen orbs. The pain of the tears pricking my eyes only added to my suffering head.

  “I’m sure I’ll find out in a little bit when he discovers the note,” I admitted.

  “Wait! Hold the phone! You left him a Dear John letter?”

  Amusement flitted over her face. She almost seemed to enjoy the idea of Nate finding the letter and me gone.

  “Cowardly, I know, but I knew he wouldn’t let me leave any other way. I tried. Believe me, I did. But he turned it around on me, as he always does.”

  Olivia nodded slowly, letting my words sink in. “I think I see the whole picture.”

  Heat rose through my skin. How easily I could be manipulated.

  Olivia sat up and took the coffee cup from my hands, placing in on the nightstand. She wrapped her thin fingers around the tops of my hands, squeezing tightly.

  “I don’t think what you did was cowardly. Personally, I think you were brave. You knew what you needed and instead of torturing yourself, as you usually do, you stepped out and made a decision. I’m proud of you, Kenz.”

  I breathed in deep through my nose. “That makes one of us,” I whispered, my throat thick with tears waiting to be shed. My heart sank in my chest. I couldn’t believe that I had been so cowardly in my decisions.

  “How could you not be? You made a decision – a wise one, I might add – and you stuck to it. That’s very brave, especially for you.”

  “It’ll break this heart, Liv. You didn’t see him last night when I got home. He was actually crying.”

  Taking my chin between her index finger and thumb, she forced me to look her in the eye. “And how many times has he ripped your heart to shreds? One time? A million times? You should have left him ages ago. He’s lucky you gave him as many chances as you did.”

  “I know,” I admitted through gritted teeth. A traitorous tear brimmed over, trickling down my cheek. “I’m tired of feeling alone.”

  “You’re not alone though. You have me.” She reached up and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “And Jared,” she added with a snarl.

  A forced smile rounded my mouth. “I’m lucky to have you both.” I reached over and retrieved my coffee cup, taking a sip of the cooling liquid. “Thank you for letting me crash here last night.”

  Olivia patted my hand. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need. You know that.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered. “I promise to find a place of my own quickly. I don’t want to encroach on you anymore than I have to.”

  “You don’t have to make any decisions right now. Just take some time for yourself. Hell, you can even call in sick to work today if you need to. I have a thousand movies you can rummage through and a pint of Haagen Dazs in the freezer.”

  “That sounds good, but I’m not going to skip work.”

  “Yeah, I get that. I hate skipping work too. Speaking of which…” Her eyes flashed to the alarm clock on the nightstand, “I have to get out of here. I have an extremely busy day ahead of me. I wish they’d make me partner and be done with it,” she grumbled.

  “You’ll get that partnership. I know you will. You’ve never failed a day in your life,” I reassured her.

  “I’ve failed more than I care to admit, but in this case, I hope you’re right.” She hopped off the bed and walked to the door. A long pause, she stood still, staring at the door. She then turned back around, her face scrunched in thought. “Kenz?”

  “Yeah?”

  “For what it’s worth, I think what you did last night was really brave. I know you think you’re running away, but I don’t think so. I think for the first time in your life, you’re finally running toward something. A little self-worth. I, for one, am happy to see it.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, unable to meet her eyes.

  “I mean it,” she said, her voice rising with annoyance.

  “I feel so selfish. What about his needs? What about his feelings?” I twirled the pale green comforter around my finger.

  “You’re the least selfish person I know. You’re loyal, and somewhat naïve,” she noted with a chuckle, “but never selfish. Think of it this way, has he once, in all this time, considered your wants or needs?” She licked her lips, pulling the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. “Well?”

  “No, not recently.”

  “There you have it.” She rested her hand on the doorknob, her smile faltering for a moment as she took in my pained expression. “Kenz, I know this is hard for you, but you’re doing the right thing. Trust yourself.”

  “I’ll try,” I whispered. Tears pushed against the back of my eyes begging to be released from their confines. I blinked repeatedly, determined to keep them at bay. It was bad enough that my head was still pounding.

  “Okay. So, I’m leaving you a key on the table in the foyer. And since you’re dead set on going to work, tell Jared ‘the wicked witch’ says hi, okay?”

  I rolled my eyes. My wet eyelashes fluttered over my cheekbones. With a huff, I replied, “I will.”

  Olivia wiggled her fingers, waving me off. “Have a good day, Kenz. Call me if you need me.”

  Quick as a flash, she disappeared out of the room, closing the door behind her.

  Like a dam c
rumbling, the moment she closed that door, I fell apart. A torrential rain poured down my face, and a cloud of tears fogged my eyes. Air forced its way into my lungs as the sobs flooded through me. All the crying I had done prior was nothing compared to this. Deep hiccups rattled my chest, and the pounding in my head became nearly unbearable. I curled up into a ball on the bed and wailed in despair.

  Even if I wanted too, I really couldn’t say I was crying over Nate. I was crying for myself. Truth be told, I had mourned the loss of Nate for months. Now, I was mourning the loss of myself. This was a chance for me to find myself again.

  Once the last tear fell from my eyes, I reluctantly crawled out of the bed. My dress was wrinkled with sleep and sweat. If my dress looked this bad, I could only imagine what the rest of me looked like. An unpleasant chuckle ripped through my chest sounding like a rabid animal had overtaken my body.

  Barefooted, I padded across the plush carpet to my overnight bag. I rummaged through my overnight bag, locating an outfit suitable for work. As a speech pathologist for the Sarasota ISD, I wasn’t subjugated to business attire, but I preferred it. Most of my colleagues stuck with business casual, but I tried to keep an appearance that I would want to see if someone were assisting my child.

  On average, I devoted about thirty minutes per session with each child I worked with. My curriculum was based on the specific child’s needs and goals. I also worked one on one with their teachers, and then hand in hand with the music therapist for the district. Lucky for me, Jared and I clicked well both in and out of work.

  My children amazed me. Over the course of working with each child, I’d developed a bond with them. In a way, I’d grown to think of them as my own, as any good teacher would. I rejoice in their successes and encourage them in their defeats. Their minds are so open to the world, and I could only imagine what they might have to say if they had the ability to communicate. With any luck, I would give them the tools to do just that.

  Across the hall from the guestroom, resided the main bathroom for the condo. Uncertain if Olivia had left yet, I dashed across the hall, slipping quietly into the bathroom. If she had heard me fall apart, I could only imagine what she thought of me.

  The door closed behind me, barely making a sound in the process. I turned my head as I passed the mirror located above the vanity and sink. Just as I suspected, I looked like I had been hit by a train. My blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy, my button nose was swollen and red, and my blonde hair was glued to my face. I was a complete mess. I pulled my dress over my head, and my mind flashed to Nate performing the same act only hours earlier. The pounding in my chest matched the pounding in my head. Nate wasn’t kidding when he said he would remind me of how Cancun felt, but what he didn’t understand was it was too little, too late.

  With a flick of my wrist, I turned on the water and climbed into the shower. Instant gratification was felt, as the steaming water poured over my aching body. While it couldn’t sooth the soul, it comforted me physically. Enough so, that the throbbing in my head subsided to a point that it was bearable.

  Resting my hands against the shower wall, I let the water pour over my head. Scenes from the night before ran ramped through my mind. Candles burning around us; Nate’s hand trailed up my thigh, deliciously touching me where I needed him the most. His lips wreaked havoc on my neck.

  Each moment played over and over. Then suddenly, he was hovering over me. But the man hovering over me wasn’t Nate at all. My eyes flashed open upon realization as to who my mind had cast in the role of Nate.

  Piercing blue eyes burned into the recesses of my mind as his name dripped off my lips. Drew.

  I rubbed my hand over my face. It’s only fantasy, I told myself. You mean no harm by it. It means nothing.

  Confused, I turned the shower off, and stared at the tiled wall, scared of what I had just done. I barely knew Drew. Besides that, he was Olivia’s boyfriend. I shook my head vigorously, laughing at myself. He was nice to me, and I crushed on him. That’s all it was.

  I reached outside the shower and pulled the towel off of the rack. Wrapping it tight around my chest, I stepped out of the shower, and wiped away the steam from the mirror. At least the shower helped wash away some of the puffiness from my face.

  I ran a brush through my hair, savoring the feel of the bristles against my aching scalp. Before leaving the bathroom, I slipped into my panties and bra. There was no way I was taking any chance that anyone might catch me naked in Olivia’s place.

  Cracking the bathroom door, I checked down the hall to see if Olivia was still home.

  “Liv?” I hollered.

  No answer. She had already left for work. With undue haste, I picked up my dirty laundry. A white object fluttered to the floor, stopping my escape from the steamy bathroom. I bent over and picked up the card that had dislodged itself from my dress pocket.

  “Andrew J. Wise, Attorney at Law,” I read aloud. I flipped the card over and read the inscription again. What was it about this man that intrigued me so? The memory of his request came to the forefront of my mind. He said to call him anytime. Now, would be as good a time as any.

  I rushed back into my bedroom and picked up my cell phone. The phone came to life with a push of a button and that was all it took to deflate my moment of giddiness. Displayed on the screen was a list of missed calls –all from Nate– and a single voicemail indication was present.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed with a thud. My heart was once again heavy as I pressed play on the voicemail.

  “Hey, McKenzie,” he said in a monotone voice. “I’ve been thinking. Maybe you’re right. Maybe space is what we both need. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. But I’ve never stopped loving you. Please remember that. I love you.”

  I jumped at the sound of his phone hanging up. All of the oxygen had been siphoned from the air making it impossible for me to breathe. I began to rock back and forth, trying to hold myself together.

  My instinct was to call him back. To tell him I was wrong and I wanted to come home. But I couldn’t do that. Calling him would only delay the inevitable. My leaving in the middle of the night proved to him that I was serious with my decision. I couldn’t take the heartache any longer. I wasn’t happy, and I had to find happiness again, even if that meant losing Nate forever.

  I curled up on the bed, dropping the phone and business card next to me. The white ceiling haloed over me, vacant of expression, mirroring my exact feeling. Maybe Olivia was right. Maybe I should call in sick. My mental state was in no way ready to handle a day full of innocent children.

  I absentmindedly traced the beveled black lettering of Drew’s name on the card. Having it to hold on too felt comforting, as if someone really cared about what I was going through. Skipping work wasn’t my answer. In order for me to get through this, I had to go on with my life.

  “I’m not a failure,” I breathed, smiling at the note from Drew. Texting him was a bad idea, and I knew it. He was a nice guy, but he wasn’t the answer to my despair. With that in mind, I tenderly placed his card in my purse, along with my phone, and proceeded to get dressed for work.

  Lying where I left them was a brown pencil skirt, with a light pink button-up blouse. I quickly donned my chosen apparel, and matched it with my favorite pair of brown pumps.

  A coat of mascara and lip gloss, which was the most makeup I wore on a daily basis, hid the remainder of my puffiness. My hair, still damp from the shower, was forced through a ponytail holder to keep it out of my face. I took one last look at myself in the mirror. If it weren’t for my bloodshot eyes, I would look like I did on any other given day.

  I decided to forgo breakfast. The thought of eating churned my already empty stomach. I finished off my coffee before brushing my teeth. With one last look in the mirror, I sighed. My tired, puffy eyes screamed with exhaustion, but there, inside them, I could see me. The person I’d been missing for a long time. She was there, and in her, I felt a twinge of a new beginning. So, I collected my pu
rse and keys, and walked out the door with my head held high. Today was a new start for me. I was ready to move forward.

  Chapter Five

  The salty sea air swirled around me in the early morning dew. The tide was rolling in, essentially creating a layer of salt in the atmosphere. It was nearly eight in the morning, and I was already running late for work, but I knew Jared would cover for me if anyone asked.

  I slid into my silver Prius and started the engine. Music is my soul and every morning I made sure to play something comparable to my mood. That was, every morning but this one. If I played the music that echoed my mood, I would be a blubbering baby by the time I reached work, so I opted for something a little more up tempo; something that would brighten my mood.

  Getting to work took little to no time at all. Olivia’s condo was a mere ten minutes away from my base school, in comparison to the twenty-five minutes I had to drive from Nate’s house. With the shorter distance, and the lack of highway driving, I wasn’t as late as I thought I would be.

  My usual parking spot was still open when I arrived, so I parked my car, grabbed my belongings, and sprinted toward the school. Just as I suspected, Jared had beaten me to work. The black pearl shine of his 1969 Mustang Fastback gleamed in the morning light. That car was his prized possession, and he made sure everyone on campus knew it. It was evident that he spent countless hours caring for the vehicle.

  Children lingered in the halls, some even greeted me as I scurried back to mine and Jared’s shared office. We didn’t have a classroom like other teachers. Instead, we had what was called an observation room. It was a smaller room connected to our office that had a one-way window separating the two rooms. We were located near the back of the building next to the music room and auditorium.

  It was a prime location for us, especially for Jared who was a music therapist. Where I spent hours teaching children how to use and understand words, he utilized music to build their language skills. The repetitive nature of a song allowed the child to connect with the words easier.

  As I walked into our office, I could hear a sweet melody floating along the air. I dropped my purse on my desk and walked across the hall to the music room. There sat Jared at the piano, lost in the song he was playing.