Dark Shadows

by Sibel Hodge

  It fitted in with Vicky’s, Ajay’s, and Natalie’s described behaviour, apart from one thing. Sleepwalking episodes tended to occur in the first few hours after falling asleep. They only happened in the daytime if someone was napping or sleeping beforehand.

  I double-checked the coroner’s officer’s reports I’d read before. Prior to Vicky jumping off the stairway, she’d been in the uni’s gym for an hour. Other students had seen her working out on the treadmill and rowing machine and in the locker room after, so she couldn’t have been asleep before leaving there and the five minutes it took to walk to the lecture theatre block. And it seemed odd that she would go to the gym before she was about to kill herself. Ajay had been awake at home the morning before he took his life. Jaxon, Phoebe, Ivy, and Toby all said they had breakfast together before they’d left him to go into town. It was possible he’d fallen asleep in the thirty minutes after they’d left and before the first signs of the fire took hold of the house, but I thought it was doubtful. And Natalie had been in lectures for two hours before driving into town, where she’d run over the elderly male. Sleepwalking didn’t fit.

  I’d been working for hours without a single person coming into the kitchen, until finally a short girl with glasses appeared. I recognised her as Vicky’s best friend, Tara, who lived in the room opposite what had been Vicky’s—the room I was now in. But she wasn’t just Vicky’s friend; she was a witness. Tara had been in the lecture theatre block when Vicky plunged to her death.

  I hastily shut the laptop and glanced up at her. ‘Hi.’ I waved.

  ‘Oh, hi.’ Tara walked in. ‘Have you just arrived?’

  ‘Yep. I’m Becky. I just moved into room twenty-four.’

  Her face paled, her shoulders tensing. ‘Oh, right. Yeah,’ she said with hesitance before opening her cupboard door and pulling out a can of tuna and a loaf of bread.

  ‘Sorry, did I say something wrong?’

  ‘No.’ She bent over into the fridge and retrieved mayonnaise and butter from one of the shelves. ‘It’s just…’ She stood up and turned around, tears shining in her eyes. ‘That was Vicky’s room.’

  ‘Yes. I’m sorry about that. I heard about what happened earlier. From Shakia.’

  Tara’s top lip curled up. ‘Shakia’s a total bitch. Thinks she’s better than everyone else.’ She put the mayo and butter on the worktop next to the tuna and bread.

  ‘I know how you probably feel. One of my friends in secondary school killed herself, too. It was a huge shock.’ I stood and walked towards the kettle. ‘Have you got time for a cup of tea? I was just going to make one.’

  ‘Sure. I was just about to make a sandwich and take it back to my room, but why not? I could do with a break. I’ve been stuck in there all afternoon, studying.’ She sat at the table. ‘Just use any of the cups.’ She pointed towards a cupboard with the label ‘Crockery’ on it. ‘We wash up as we go. Well, some of us do. Shakia usually leaves her dirty crap piled up for someone else to do.’

  I filled the kettle and switched it on. ‘Do you take sugar? I didn’t get any from the shop.’

  ‘No, thanks.’ She paused for a moment then said, ‘How come you’re starting halfway through the year?’

  I repeated my story. Car accident. Broken leg. Coursework at home.

  ‘You’re all right now, though?’ She looked at my legs as I deposited two mugs on the table and sat opposite her.

  ‘Yeah. It’s still a bit sore, but…’ I shrugged, took a sip of tea, and watched her pick up the mug with trembling hands, still visibly upset about Vicky. ‘It must’ve been horrible for you, seeing what you did. Have you spoken to anyone—student counselling or someone else? I found, after what happened to my friend, that it was actually good to chat to people.’

  She drew in a deep breath through her nose. ‘I don’t know. Sometimes you just have to get on with things, don’t you? Talking won’t bring her back.’

  ‘You were close?’

  ‘She was my best mate here. We hit it off straightaway. We had a lot in common. Neither of us came here to get involved with the whole crazy partying, social life scene. We just wanted to learn.’ She glanced down at her tea. ‘It sounds lame, doesn’t it? Like we were both geeky.’

  ‘It doesn’t sound lame at all. Everyone’s probably here to get something different out of the experience. And learning’s supposed to be the main one, right?’ I swallowed another mouthful of tea. ‘Can I ask what happened?’ Although I’d read the witness statements several times now, I didn’t like getting information secondhand and still wanted to hear it directly from her. Finding the truth was all about asking the right questions, and a witness’s answers could very well change depending on how good the interviewer was at their job—whether they had preconceived opinions or kept an open mind, whether the witness felt comfortable enough with them to have a truly open discussion. One thing Warren Carter had taught me was to never believe anything until I’d confirmed it myself.

  She glanced up sharply, as if trying to work out if I was just being nosy, a gossipy bitch, or if I was genuine.

  I gave her an encouraging smile. ‘That’s okay if you don’t want to. No pressure.’

  She pursed her lips together, looking down at her mug. ‘I still miss her. I don’t know why she did it. I feel… actually quite guilty about it. Like I should’ve seen something or done something.’

  ‘I know. I felt exactly the same when my friend died. I think it’s quite normal to feel like that. But I learned eventually that it wasn’t my fault. It’s not yours, either.’

  ‘Doesn’t feel like that right now.’

  I nodded. ‘I know. It’s like you micro-analyse everything. I kept thinking if I’d really paid attention when she did this or said that, maybe I could’ve worked out what she was planning to do and stop her.’

  Her eyes lit up with recognition. ‘That’s exactly how it is.’

  ‘Shakia told me Vicky was having nightmares and sleepwalking. Do you think she was stressed about her coursework? Or worried about anything in particular?’

  ‘Don’t listen to Shakia. She’s full of crap.’ She brought her feet up to the edge of the chair and wrapped her arms around her shins before resting her chin on her knees. ‘But that is right. Vicky never mentioned being stressed or worried about anything, and we told each other everything. At least, I thought we did. That’s why it’s such a shock. She wasn’t depressed. She didn’t have any problems that she told me about. But the last month or so, she was acting a bit weird.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘She’d disappear for hours at a time. Miss lectures. When I asked her where she’d been, she was really vague. She fobbed me off by saying she couldn’t remember where she’d been. I mean, if she had other friends she wanted to hang out with, that was absolutely fine with me. I’d rather she was just honest with me, but it was like…’ She glanced down at the floor.

  ‘Like what?’

  Her head tilted from side to side, as if weighing up how to describe it. ‘I don’t know. It was kind of like she believed herself that she didn’t remember. Or maybe she was just good at lying. I don’t know. Anyway, she’d been a bit distant for a few weeks before it happened, as if she was cutting herself off from me. I tried to ask her if I’d upset her somehow. I wanted her to tell me if I had. But she just said no.’

  ‘Do you think she was taking some kind of drug? That might account for how she’d been acting.’

  She looked up at me. ‘No. She wasn’t into that kind of thing. She didn’t even hardly drink.’

  ‘Was she in a relationship with anyone? Maybe someone broke her heart, and that’s why she took her life.’

  ‘No, she wasn’t. At least, not that she told me anyway. But I did see her going into the medical block a couple of times after hours, which seemed a bit strange, because it was late at night when it should’ve been shut up.’ She planted her feet back on the floor, leaning her elbows on the table.

  I raised an eyebrow. Was tha
t a possible connection? Ajay had been a medical student.

  ‘The first time was about nine o’clock one night,’ she said. ‘I just saw her as she went into the Watling Centre. Haven’t got a clue who she was seeing as most of the lights were off, and I would’ve thought everyone would’ve gone home. The next time was a bit later in the evening a week or so after. There was only one light on in the building in a top office.’

  ‘Maybe she was seeing a counsellor or doctor there. If she’d been feeling depressed, maybe she went to talk to someone about it.’

  ‘No. Student Counselling Services is in another building. And I doubt it was to see a doctor. We don’t have GPs on site.’

  So who had Vicky been seeing late at night? I thought back to Jess and Millie telling me that they’d seen Natalie with an older guy on campus who they thought she was involved with and who was most likely a tutor. Coincidence? Or not? ‘Maybe Vicky was in a relationship with one of the tutors or professors here. It wouldn’t be the first time a student had a relationship with a peer. Maybe she didn’t want to tell you.’

  ‘Maybe, but I think she would’ve told me. I wouldn’t have judged her.’

  ‘Did you ask Vicky about seeing her?’

  She glanced down at her mug, tears forming in her eyes again. ‘Yeah. She denied it was her. She said I must’ve mistaken her for someone else. But I was certain it was her.’ She sniffed and blinked for a few moments, taking time to compose herself again. ‘It’s actually good to chat to someone who understands. I didn’t want to go to student counselling about how I was feeling.’

  I nodded sympathetically, feeling a stab of guilt that I was lying to all these people, but if it prevented another death, that was all that mattered.

  ‘That day… the day she… you know… I was supposed to meet her in the café for lunch after she’d been to the gym. But I spotted her before I got to the union. She was going into the lecture theatre building, so I went in after her. I called out to her before she went inside, but she probably didn’t hear me. I followed her in, trying to catch up with her. One of the lectures had just finished, though, and people were piling down the stairs. So I waited at the bottom for them to get down instead of trying to push my way up through them.

  ‘I lost her for a bit in the crowd, but then I saw her at the top of the stairs, in front of the railings. She kind of… She had this strange look on her face. Like she wasn’t really there. Like she was miles away. In some kind of trance. But she had this weird smile on her face. I watched her from the bottom of the stairs as she climbed over the railings up the top. It was like it happened really quick but at the same time in slow motion.’ Tara shook her head then rubbed at her face. ‘That doesn’t even make sense.’ She laughed harshly.

  ‘It does to me.’

  ‘I didn’t know what she was doing. It took a while for my mind to process it, because climbing over the railings isn’t something you see every day. And by the time I did, she’d just…’ Tara blinked a few times, and a lone tear slid down her cheek. ‘Vicky put her arms above her head in the air, like she was diving into a pool, and just launched herself off.’

  ‘I’m really sorry. It was horrible that you actually saw it all.’ I put my hand on her forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  ‘Thanks.’ Her voice cracked.

  ‘She was lucky to have such a good friend. Do you have other friends that knew her who you could talk to, as well?’

  She shook her head. ‘Not really. We hung out with other people sometimes, but it was mostly just me and her together really.’ She tilted her head, a frown pinching her eyebrows. ‘Do you know what I really can’t get my head around? She was scared of heights. She even hated some of the lecture halls because of how they’re tiered up high. She told me she couldn’t even stand on a ladder without crapping herself. It’s strange that she… that she made herself do it like that. If I was going to kill myself, I’d do something painless like take tablets and fall asleep.’

  I thought about that. Could a person suddenly overcome a fear just as they were about to end everything? ‘Did you know Natalie Wheeler?’

  She scrunched up her face, thinking. ‘No.’

  ‘What about Ajay Banerjee?’

  She frowned. ‘He’s the student who killed himself, too?’

  I nodded.

  ‘He set himself on fire in his house-share, didn’t he? That’s a horrible way to do it.’ She shuddered.

  ‘Do you think Vicky knew him?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. I don’t think so. I’m sure she would’ve mentioned him to me if she had.’ She blinked and wiped at her moist eyes. She sniffed and sat upright. ‘Anyway, I’m sorry for blabbing on. Let’s change the subject.’

  ‘You don’t need to apologise to me. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  I swallowed the dregs of my tea. ‘I’ve been looking at some of the clubs and societies to join. Can you recommend any? Maybe you or Vicky went to some?’

  Tara went to the worktop and started making her sandwich. ‘I’ve done some of the fitness classes on the active student programme. Me and Vicky went to the Buddhist Meditation Society once, but we never ended up going back. That’s it, though.’

  That clanged an alarm bell in my head. Ajay had dabbled in Buddhism before. Had he also gone to the society’s meetings? I opened my welcome pack next to my laptop and flipped through to the Buddhist Meditation Society’s info. They had an hour’s guided meditation twice a day at 7.00 a.m. and 4.30 p.m. It was getting on for 5.30 p.m., so I’d missed both of them. There was no evidence so far that Vicky had joined some kind of cult or spent any significant amount of time with anyone other than Tara, but it could fit the religious element of a cult dressed up as a self-awareness or self-improvement group.

  ‘Thanks for the suggestion. Maybe I’ll go and check it out tomorrow morning.’ I closed the welcome pack. ‘You don’t know where I could earn a bit of extra cash, do you? It would be nice to get a bit of beer money while I’m here.’

  ‘Sorry, no,’ she said over her shoulder, pressing two slices of bread together as tuna oozed out the middle. ‘Vicky and I never bothered looking for anything like that. Got too much on with the coursework.’

  I wondered again where the money the three students had in their possession had come from as I took both mugs to the sink and washed them up before returning them to the crockery cupboard.

  Shakia sauntered into the kitchen then. ‘Well, well, well, the two little nub nubs are getting very cosy together.’ She looked down her nose at both of us.

  Tara rolled her eyes at me and ignored Shakia.

  I didn’t have a clue what ‘nub nub’ meant, but from Shakia’s tone and body language, it was clearly meant to be derogatory.

  Tara picked up her sandwich and said to me, ‘I’ve got more studying to do, but it was nice to chat to you.’

  ‘Was it something I said?’ Shakia smirked and reached into her cupboard to pull out a can of black-eyed beans.

  Tara ignored her and walked out of the door.

  ‘Yeah, bye.’ Shakia did a sarcastic wave at Tara.

  I fought the urge to call her out on her rudeness and said a quick ‘See you later’ to Shakia before catching up with Tara along the corridor. ‘What’s a nub nub?’ I asked.

  ‘It means a newcomer or someone lame or inadequate.’ She glared in the direction of the kitchen. ‘She’s so rude.’

  ‘Sticks and stones, and all that. Listen, I’m heading to the Terrace Bar soon with some people I just met. Jess and Millie. Do you know them?’

  Tara shook her head as we carried on walking.

  ‘Do you want to come? I’ll buy you a beer. It might cheer you up.’ I stopped outside my room.

  She glanced at the door to what was once Vicky’s room, her face clouding over again. ‘Thanks, but I’m not in the mood. See you later.’

  Chapter 14

  Toni

  The parking situation a
t the hospital was ridiculous because I arrived during visiting hours. I drove around for twenty minutes before someone finally left and I could grab their space. Phil had offered to drive me there, but I’d declined, asking instead that he take over my remaining clients for the afternoon so I didn’t leave anyone in the lurch. Plus, I was worried the office may well be even busier than usual if any of the students had witnessed the accident or knew Marcelina and needed to talk things through. And besides, it was my responsibility. My fault. No matter what Phil said.

  The Accident and Emergency waiting area was packed with people. I stood in the queue for the reception and tapped my foot as the line shuffled forward excruciatingly slowly. When I finally got to the front, I asked a harassed-looking woman in a uniform where Marcelina had been taken.

  ‘Are you a relative?’

  ‘No.’ I explained I was a representative of the university and that Marcelina had no family in the area at the moment.

  She tapped Marcelina’s name into a computer then studied the screen for a few moments. ‘She’s waiting to have some scans done. Take a seat in the waiting room, and I’ll get someone to come and talk to you when they’re free.’

  ‘Thanks.’ I stepped away and looked at the waiting area, where there was no hope of getting a seat. Instead, I leaned against the glass window and looked outside, into the ambulance bay, where some paramedics were bringing in another patient.

  I fidgeted from one foot to the other for a long time until my phone rang.

  I pulled it out of my bag and answered, ‘Hi, Mum,’ before making my way out of the building into the fresh air, where it was quieter.

  ‘Hi. How’s everything going? Are you still working, or have you got time for a chat?’

  I didn’t want to worry her, so I didn’t tell her what had happened. My mum also knew all too well about guilt. My dad had died in combat before I was born, so it had always been just the two of us, and we were really close. For years, she’d blamed herself and Mitchell, a member of his SAS team, for what had happened to Dad. Guilt strike one.