Poppy's Dilemma

by Nancy Carson

  ‘Really?’ he answered. He turned to Bellamy, unsmiling. ‘You have kept it quiet about Miss Silk, Bellamy.’

  Bellamy smiled proudly. ‘I wanted to surprise you, Robert. I wanted you to see that your younger brother is just as capable of attracting a pretty girl. And you have to admit – Poppy is stupendously pretty.’

  Robert scanned Poppy again and their eyes met briefly. ‘She’s not just pretty, she’s beautiful. Far too beautiful for you. Have you known each other long?’ He looked from one to the other.

  ‘Ever since her seventeenth birthday in April. Aunt Phoebe put on a marvellous party for her.’

  ‘Aunt Phoebe?’

  ‘Yes … Of course, you are not to know, Robert … Poppy is Aunt Phoebe’s companion—’

  ‘Companion? Ah! Yes, I see.’ A hint of a smile flashed through his eyes.

  ‘I understand you have been in Brazil these past twelve months,’ Poppy said, meeting his gaze full on. ‘Did you achieve what you set out to achieve?’

  Their eyes held and electricity surged between them.

  ‘Oh, Poppy,’ Virginia exclaimed. ‘You remember what I told you about Robert and his going off to Brazil … Well, now he’s back we’ve named the day. We’re to be married on Christmas Day.’

  Poppy believed that her insides had suddenly dropped as she felt a vast emptiness within her. ‘Is it true?’ she said to Robert, controlling herself admirably.

  ‘Well … I … We …’ He avoided her eyes to spare his embarrassment, his disappointment and his guilt.

  ‘Congratulations,’ Poppy managed to utter, ‘to you both.’ Tears stung the backs of her eyes. But they must not witness them. She turned to Bellamy, reached for his hand and looked up at him beseechingly. ‘I’d love a drink, Bellamy.’ She turned her back on Robert and Virginia as her bottom lip began to quiver.

  ‘See you later,’ Virginia called.

  ‘My word, Poppy, you downed that rather swiftly,’ Bellamy said with obvious admiration. ‘Let me get you another.’

  ‘Thank you. I never realised sherry was so nice.’

  Within a second or two he’d handed her another. She swallowed some and felt its warmth spreading through her.

  ‘Take it easy with this one, else you’ll be soused. Then Aunt Phoebe will castigate me for trying to lead you astray.’

  I won’t take much leading, she felt like saying. Well, she had nothing to lose now. Robert had made his decision and was going to be wed. Whatever she did now was of no consequence to him. She might as well give herself to Bellamy; he deserved her. Poppy felt discarded, disenchanted and heartbreakingly disappointed. No wonder Virginia was so buoyant. She’d got what she wanted. But at Poppy’s expense.

  The musicians had just started playing a waltz. Poppy said, ‘Shall we dance, Bellamy?’

  He smiled, delighted she’d asked. They stepped into the centre of the room where the carpet had been taken up and the woodblock floor conscientiously polished by the maids to a slippery shine. Poppy turned to face Bellamy, forcing a smile through her pain of emptiness, longing, and grief over her lost love. He received her into his arms with a self-satisfied smile.

  ‘Hold me tight, Bellamy.’

  ‘Of course, little Poppy,’ he answered warmly.

  Her dance steps, which should have been light as she swirled around, making her skirt whirl attractively, seemed heavy and contrived. She had to force herself around the floor as if the weight of all the world’s woes were pressing down on her. Robert was going to marry Virginia. That’s all she could think of. Robert was going to marry Virginia. He hadn’t even sent her a message to say sorry, dear Poppy, but I’ve chosen Virginia after all. As she turned, feeling Bellamy’s hand hot in the small of her back, she was barely conscious of anything other than this indescribable ache in her heart. Faces flitted past in a blur, some familiar, some not, and then she spotted the friendly face of Minnie who was waving to her. She waved back and pressed her head against Bellamy’s shoulder.

  ‘Would you prefer to take a walk outside?’ he asked, misinterpreting her actions.

  She looked up at him and he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

  ‘You’re crying.’

  ‘No, it’s the smoke in here.’ She smiled reassuringly and nonchalantly wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands and sniffed. ‘It always makes my eyes run. Maybe it’s a good idea to go outside and get away from it for a while.’

  He took her hand and led her away, through the French window and out onto the lawn.

  ‘I was worried,’ he said. ‘I thought maybe I’d trodden on your toes and you were too polite to complain.’

  That made her smile. ‘Believe me, you’d have known. I would have very likely socked you one.’

  He laughed. ‘Oh, wonderful.’

  Moonless night had settled on the land, but already the stars were as thick as meadow flowers. A touch of indigo lingered in the western sky, the last remnant of daylight, and Poppy could just make out the fleeting shadows of bats as they flew between the trees. She looked back towards the house and saw the warm yellow glow from the party room. Through the French windows she could see people standing, drinking, talking. She heard the clink of glasses, the strains of the quartet as they struggled to be heard over the buzz of animated conversation and the peals of laughter.

  They walked on and came to an ornamental fishpond. Bellamy stopped, turned towards her and put his hands to her small waist, ‘I’ve dreamed about this moment, Poppy,’ he breathed. ‘For ages I’ve wanted to bring you here on a night such as this and hold you by starlight and feel the warmth of your body against mine.’

  ‘And here I am,’ she said, content to submit to Bellamy’s fantasy, for none of hers were forthcoming. ‘Kiss me, Bellamy.’

  He bent his head towards her, searching hungrily for her lips. She met him halfway and half-heartedly, felt his mouth on hers, and allowed herself to be kissed … Oh, it was not as pleasant as being kissed by Robert, but it was infinitely better than Jericho’s slobbering. And yet … if she responded more ardently, with more enthusiasm. If she put her heart into it … Yes, that was better …

  ‘Bellamy!’

  It was a man’s voice.

  It was Robert’s voice.

  Poppy and Bellamy broke off their embrace.

  ‘What?’ Bellamy answered, irritated at the interruption.

  ‘Sorry to disturb you. Virginia has just informed me that she has never danced with you, Bellamy. She’s free right now. Perhaps you would care to oblige her … Don’t worry, I’ll take care of Miss Silk …’

  Chapter 27

  ‘So, Poppy … I find you fastened by the mouth to my brother.’

  Poppy could hardly see Robert’s face in the darkness so she was unable to read his expression. However, his voice was intense, his words sarcastic. ‘Fastened by the mouth?’ she queried, her heart beating faster over this startling encounter than over her embrace with Bellamy. ‘That’s a funny way of putting it. Is that what they say in Brazil?’

  ‘Who cares what they say in Brazil?’

  ‘So are you criticising me, or mocking me with your sarcasm?’

  ‘Neither. It was merely an observation,’ he answered stiffly.

  ‘Good,’ she said. ‘Because the only reason I was “fastened by the mouth” to Bellamy was because you have no interest in fastening me by the mouth to yourself. So, if you’ll excuse me …’ She threw her head back in defiance and walked away.

  He grabbed her arm. ‘Wait, Poppy. I need to talk to you.’

  His hand was warm on her skin, his touch electrifying. ‘Let go of me,’ she said coolly, finding it the most difficult thing in the world to say.

  ‘We must talk, Poppy.’

  She hesitated, impeded by her own desire for him, but even more so by the need to say her piece. ‘Then let go of me … Thank you …’ She tried to recover her poise. ‘I don’t think there’s anything left to say. You’ve evidently got what you came home for. Thanks for not letti
ng me know sooner.’

  He sighed profoundly and raised his hands, palms up, in a gesture of sincerity. ‘I didn’t know where to find you, Poppy. Besides, I had no time to look. My mother had invited Virginia to stay with us almost as soon as I returned.’

  ‘Your mother?’

  ‘Yes, my mother. She always was inclined to interfere. Please don’t entertain the notion that it was me.’

  A light breeze rustled the leaves in the tops of the elms. Poppy turned her face to the cloudless ink-blue sky, clenching her fists to release the tension that had built up inside her, thankful to learn it had not been him who’d arranged to see Virginia before seeking her.

  ‘The last time I saw you, Robert,’ she said, ‘you handed me Aunt Phoebe’s address on a note. You said that through her you would let me know when you had arrived back. It was the main reason I went to see her in the first place. And yet the first I heard of your returning was from Virginia.’

  ‘Only because my mother let her know without my knowledge or consent.’

  ‘Your mother must have been very anxious for her.’

  ‘Very anxious that we marry, I admit. Anyway, I can’t believe that you and Virginia know each other.’

  ‘Oh, it was by accident, not by design. I certainly didn’t know she was engaged to you when we met. Nor did she have any inkling that I was her rival. She still doesn’t, I’m sure. We befriended each other, Virginia and I. I actually like her, Robert … The fact that she’s your fiancée has taken the shine off it, though. Still … I know she’s very much in love with you. I’m sure she deserves you. I’m sure you deserve her.’

  ‘You’ve changed, Poppy.’

  ‘Oh, tell me something I don’t know.’

  ‘You’ve changed for the better, I mean. I had the shock of my life when I saw you. Aunt Phoebe is to be applauded.’

  ‘I’ll pass on your plaudits, unless you prefer to tell her so yourself. But it wasn’t all Aunt Phoebe’s doing. Doesn’t it occur to you that I also had to put in some effort?’

  ‘Forgive me. Of course you did … You were always enchanting, Poppy, but now you are the most beautiful creature I have ever had the privilege of setting eyes on.’ His voice was as soft and warm as a caress.

  ‘And to think I was yours for the taking,’ she answered with a spurt of provocation.

  ‘But not any more?’

  ‘I waited for you, Robert. For a whole year I pined. I ached for you, I cried for you. And for what? You come home and you are still promised to Virginia. You’ve even named your wedding day. You’ve obviously considered your choice carefully.’

  ‘You are far more grown up, you know.’

  ‘It’s of no matter to you whether I am or not,’ she answered, the spirit of defiance still aflame within her, fanned by the hurt she felt.

  ‘The change has made you infinitely more appealing. There is a new assertiveness about you.’

  ‘I am also more socially acceptable now, don’t you think?’ she said cuttingly. ‘Now that I wear well-made, fashionable clothes and shoes, and speak a little differently. I am more socially acceptable now that my navvy roots and navvy boots have been concealed, aren’t I?’

  ‘I loved you with your navvy roots, Poppy. I loved you with or without them. I could hardly love you less for being more complete now.’

  It was the first real inkling that he still felt something for her. Her heart seemed to bang like a drum at his words, thudding in her head as her blood surged hot and swift through her veins. Was he implying that he loved her still?

  ‘As I said, Robert, it’s of no matter to you any more.’

  ‘But could it be, Poppy?’ There was a plea in his voice. ‘I have been too hasty since I returned home. I have allowed myself to be swept along on a tide of events that flowed much too quickly. Virginia made me feel extremely guilty over my going away. She wept piteously. It was so obvious she had suffered a broken heart and I felt so moved, so sorry for her, so obliged to make amends …’

  ‘So to ease your guilt and to make amends, you agreed to name the date of your wedding. Is that it?’

  ‘Virginia was so nervous when I saw her again, like a child almost. And so visibly upset. I felt for her. I felt deeply. I’m not so indifferent that I could not be moved by it. Would you rather I was so heartless?’

  ‘No …’ she answered pensively. ‘Of course not,’

  ‘I cannot bear to see a woman upset, Poppy.’

  ‘So should I weep buckets to get the same response?’

  ‘I can assure you, Poppy, it isn’t necessary. Virginia is just a sweet and sensitive girl.’

  ‘Oh? Aren’t I a sweet and sensitive girl?’ she challenged.

  ‘Of course you are. But a little more worldly than she. She’s also been very loyal.’

  ‘And you think I haven’t?’ she blurted.

  ‘With my brother Bellamy around?’

  ‘Yes, even with your brother Bellamy around. I’ve been loyal despite Bellamy. Ask Aunt Phoebe. But there’s many a girl who wouldn’t have been – he’s quite something, you know.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have implied anything. It was entirely the wrong thing for me to say … Oh, would that Virginia had not been invited here before I’d had the opportunity to speak to you, Poppy. Things might have been different.’

  ‘Might?’ she queried.

  ‘Would, Poppy. Things would have been different. Always assuming you still feel the same as you did. Do you still feel the same?’

  She sighed, her true emotions surfacing through her anger. ‘I thought I did. Before it was plain Virginia had got in before me. Now I feel forgotten and overlooked. It’s not a nice feeling, Robert,’ she pouted, looking beyond Robert. She was suddenly distracted by figures silhouetted against the light spilling out of the French windows. ‘Damn! Bellamy and Virginia are coming back.’

  He glanced over his shoulder.

  ‘Will you meet me, Poppy?’ he whispered urgently. ‘There’s so much more to talk about. I beg you.’

  ‘Tomorrow night. After church.’

  ‘Where?’

  Her mind raced to think of a suitable venue. Where did they meet the very last time? ‘Outside St Edmund’s. Where we met before. Remember?’

  He nodded. ‘How very appropriate.’ With a smile, he turned to greet Virginia who was clinging to Bellamy’s arm in sisterly fashion. ‘I was just saying to Poppy what a beautiful evening we have for the party,’ Robert said easily. ‘Perhaps we should have hired a big marquee and held it here in the grounds.’

  Bellamy edged his way towards Poppy and felt for her hand.

  ‘Bellamy is a much better dancer than you are, Robert,’ Virginia said, still full of the dancing and not heeding Robert’s words.

  ‘Well, he’s had a damned sight more practice.’ Robert looked at Poppy from under his eyebrows. ‘You don’t find many assembly rooms in the Brazilian jungle.’

  ‘I’m surprised you enjoy dancing, Virginia,’ Poppy said lightly, trying to conceal the mischief she intended. ‘Aren’t Quakers opposed to it? Don’t they regard it as flippant, or flamboyant?’

  Virginia cast an apprehensive glance at Robert. ‘I hope I haven’t altogether lost my sense of fun, Poppy.’

  ‘Tell me, Bellamy,’ said Robert. ‘Is Poppy a good dancer?’

  ‘Tolerable. Or rather I should say she’s a better dancer than she is a pianist.’

  ‘How unkind,’ Poppy said, pretending to be hurt. ‘You’ve cut me to the quick, Bellamy. That’s the last time I dance with you.’

  ‘Don’t be so touchy, Poppy.’ He squeezed her hand and looked at her with an apologetic smile. ‘What I was suggesting is that your talents lie in other areas.’

  Poppy continued to pout and Robert looked at her lips with an acute ache of longing. He was reminded of how they felt on his when they kissed. He yearned to take her in his arms again, to tell her how much he still loved her.

  ‘Well, if Poppy won’t dance with Bellamy anymore,
’ Virginia said, turning to Robert, ‘perhaps you should take her to the floor, Robert. Then you can judge for yourself how well she dances.’ Such a suggestion would dismiss Poppy’s notion that she considered dancing a frippery.

  ‘A splendid idea,’ Robert answered, seizing the moment. He looked at Poppy for her consent.

  ‘I have no objection,’ she said, trying to hide her excitement at the prospect of feeling Robert’s arms around her again.

  ‘Excellent.’ He offered his arm theatrically. ‘Miss Silk …’

  ‘While you assess Poppy’s dancing,’ Virginia said, ‘I shall take the opportunity to speak to the new Mrs Cecil Tyler. I’ve had no chance yet. Come, Bellamy. I will introduce you.’

  Robert’s and Poppy’s footsteps were soft on the cool grass as it yielded beneath their feet. She clung to his arm, exhilarated, keeping close to him as, entering the house, they received nods, smiles and admiring glances as they nudged through the throng of people that edged the area of polished floor reserved for dancing. As they reached the floor, the quartet was playing a polka.

  ‘Not my favourite step,’ Robert commented disappointedly.

  ‘Nor mine either,’ Poppy agreed.

  ‘Maybe if we stick it out we could be rewarded with something a little less strenuous.’

  She smiled up at him, her true feelings manifest in her eyes. She hoped he was right. All this energetic whirling about to the polka was preventing her from being in his arms.

  At last their patience was rewarded. The leader of the quartet announced that the next dance would be a Strauss waltz, and they waited while some couples left the floor and others arrived. They stood awkwardly close together, each yearning to be in the other’s arms, illogically feeling conspicuous, that all eyes were on them.

  ‘Who is this new Mrs Cecil Tyler, I wonder?’ Robert said, referring to Virginia’s comment. ‘She seemed vaguely familiar when I met her, but I couldn’t place her.’

  Poppy giggled, beginning to feel more at ease with Robert. ‘Of course, you don’t know, do you? Do you remember my friend Minnie Catchpole from the encampment?’

  ‘The flighty one with the loose morals? Tipton Ted’s daughter?’