Retreat

by Dykes, Nicole

  It truly is mind-boggling.

  Chase is in his mid-twenties, tall and broad with sandy-blond hair, dimples, and amber eyes. The fucker is beautiful, and he knows it. But they all are.

  “Worth it, Morgan.”

  I wrap my hand around Tate’s bicep. “Come on. Look at the crowd. Don’t give them more to post on social media.”

  “Why not? It’s the job, right?” Tate’s eyes meet mine, twinkling with mischief. He loves this part. Sometimes I think the fighting is the reason he’s in racing, and it’s becoming exhausting to clean up his messes.

  We’ll have to issue an apology tomorrow. He’ll have to pay the fine, and if he keeps going like this, he’ll have to sit out a race.

  “You realize we could have spent the money they’re going to fine you on much better things, like an exotic vacation.” I hear Evie’s voice behind me and instantly tense, but Tate loosens up.

  “I’ve got plenty to take you anywhere you want to go.” He offers a sly grin in Evie’s direction.

  “Then let go of Chase.” She places one hand on her hip, challenging him.

  Tate turns back to Castle. “You ever do that again, you’re mine, fucker.”

  “Too bad for you, I don’t swing that way, Tate.”

  Tate growls, “You fucking wish.” He releases him, shoving him back further against the car for good measure before walking away with Evie and me following.

  “What the hell is the matter with you, asshole?” I’ve had enough of the fighting and make sure my tone reflects it.

  Tate slides an arm over Evie’s shoulder. “He had it coming, Morgan, and you know it.”

  “You have to learn to let it go.”

  He laughs, stops, and eyes me. “Ah, you’re giving me advice on letting things go?”

  My cheeks flame and again, I feel homicidal. Evie subtly looks away, but she knows exactly what he’s talking about, as do I. “This is not about that at all. This is about your career, and maybe you don’t always have to be the bad guy. Castle is dying to take that role, let him.”

  “Are you fucking crazy? You think I’m going to let him waltz in here and take the reputation I’ve spent years perfecting?”

  “One that has only resulted in fines and trips to the hospital.”

  “Only pussies go to the ER for a fistfight, and that rep is the reason you and I get paid so fucking well.”

  I can’t deny Tate pays me well and that his persona has paid off. “Cash and Michael do just fine, and they rarely fight these days.”

  “That’s because they’re the good guys.” He points at his own chest, and I don’t miss Evie’s face grow sadder when he speaks, “That ain’t me.”

  I keep my voice low. “That may not be you out there, but you’re a good man, Tate. These fines and sit-outs are eventually going to make them see you as a liability.”

  “They eat it up.”

  “Just keep a level head.”

  “I’m done talking about it, Morgan. You want me to switch the conversation to Ty again, or do you want to drop all this talk right now?”

  I can feel Evie tense, and I cringe. Asshole. “Fine. I’ll drop it for now.” I pull my phone out of my back pocket. “I have to go handle this PR nightmare thanks to your hotheaded ass.”

  I turn to walk away and hear him whisper into Evie’s ear, “But what an ass it is.”

  She laughs, and I crack my neck, feeling all the tension from this trip and, let’s face it, my life in general.

  Seeing happy couples in love is not my favorite thing. The shameful jealousy coursing through me makes me physically ache.

  That’ll never be me.

  I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and quickly look around the shop, assessing my surroundings as I pull it out to see who’s calling. Jay just left, and Chris is in the back, sketching and currently holding the hand of the new guy, Rhys.

  That’s really not fair, the kid’s pretty talented already, but I’m not in the mood to be fair.

  The only person currently up in the front with me is Frankie, and her eyes study me suspiciously.

  I don’t want to miss the call, and my customer just left, so I take it quickly outside and hit answer. “Hello.”

  “Ty?”

  I recognize Adrianne’s sultry voice almost immediately. “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “You have an answer for me or not?” Her voice is full of confidence, which isn’t surprising. Adrianne is full of spunk and fierceness.

  “I need a little more time.”

  “Oh come on, what the hell are you waiting for?”

  My hand smooths over the short stubble on my chin as I look out over the crowded street, the darkness of night not slowing traffic through downtown Kansas City. “I’m not sure I can do it.”

  I turn away from the shop and hear the bell on the door as it opens and assume it’s Frankie’s customer leaving.

  “Look, Ty we can really use you here. Can they? Because you said it was stale. Stagnant. Hostile. You’re not going anywhere and not welcome there.”

  I swallow tightly, watching the crosswalk change from “walk” to “don’t walk.” “I’m not sure I am anymore.”

  “So why stay?”

  “I’m not sure. This is all I know.”

  “It’s a job, Ty. And I’m offering you another one.”

  “In Texas.”

  I hear her slight laugh and smile at her Texas drawl. “It’s not so bad down here. It rarely snows, and I’ve never seen a real cowboy. This is fucking Dallas, for Christ’s sake. It’s a bigass city, and we have the hottest tattoo shop here.”

  “So why do you need me?”

  I picture her smiling through the phone. “You know why.”

  I met Adrianne a few months ago when she came into the shop at the end of the day when I was the only one there. I thought she was just another customer. I gave her a tattoo on her hip, and at the end she told me who she really was—the owner of the hottest tattoo shop in Texas. The competition.

  At first, I was pissed. Then I was admittedly intrigued when she offered me a job. It’s a betrayal to Chris who gave me a shot right out of the gate, but I went with her to the bar a couple of doors down. Swimming in whiskey, I confided in her everything that happened and that I felt like I was stuck in hell.

  She listened and then quickly had my ear, luring me to the other side.

  But I couldn’t fully commit. Something is holding me here.

  “Give me a week?”

  A soft sigh comes from the other side of the call. “One week, Ty. I need someone now.”

  “I’ll call you in a week.”

  We hang up, and when I turn to go back inside, I’m staring right into Frankie’s eyes. “Fuck.”

  “Yeah. Fuck. What’s going on Ty?”

  “You really shouldn’t eavesdrop.” I don’t move. If we go back in the shop, Chris could find out about this whole thing, and I don’t want him to know unless it’s necessary.

  She folds her arms, leaning back against the brick wall of the shop. “What’s in Texas?”

  Her eyes bore into mine. She’s the big sister I never had, my friend since she started working here. And she’s not going to back down until she gets an answer, that much I know. I sigh and take a seat on the curb. “Another tattoo shop.”

  I hear her black heels click on the cement as she moves to take a seat next to me. “You’re leaving?”

  I expected her to hit me, not sit down and stare at me with glassy eyes. The shock evident on her face shatters me. “I don’t know.”

  “Ty, you can’t leave.”

  I look away from her. I can’t face her. “I don’t know if I can stay, Frankie. I’m drowning here.”

  “He’ll forgive you.”

  I turn back to her, my heart full of fury and so much regret. “No, he won’t. You’ve been saying that for months, but you know him better than anyone, Frankie. He isn’t going to let this go.”

  She opens her mouth to say something, but s
tops, pressing her lips together as she looks straight ahead at the cars passing by. She takes a shaky breath, letting the air escape through her lips. “This can’t be it, just because you kissed Morgan.”

  “It wasn’t just a simple kiss, and you know it. I fucked everything up. It’s about loyalty, and I betrayed him. I get why he’s mad.”

  “It’s fucking stupid.”

  “It’s not.” And it’s really not. I’ve always maintained Jay has every right to be mad. Morgan is his life. Honestly, he raised her. She might as well be his daughter, and I used her in a weak moment. But there’s no excuse for it. I hurt her, the one person he would walk through fire for. Hurt Morgan, you hurt Jay, and he will fucking kill you.

  I’m lucky I’m still breathing.

  “It. Is.”

  “Frankie, look at me.” I stare at the profile of her face, willing her to look me in the eyes.

  She doesn’t. “You can’t leave.”

  “I don’t know if I can stay here.”

  Her eyes meet mine. “We’re a family, Ty. You guys are all I have.”

  “We’ll still see each other.”

  I’ve never seen Frankie so close to tears. “No, we won’t.” She wraps her arms around her knees, pulling them up to her chest as we sit on the dirty curb of the sidewalk. “I haven’t seen Morgan for over a month. Jay is barely here, even when he’s here. Chris is always rushing home now, which he should be. He has kids and a beautiful wife. You keep your head down the whole time you’re here.”

  I try to swallow my guilt. I know I’ve been a shitty friend to her. “I don’t know how to exist here anymore.”

  “All because of Evie.”

  “No. That’s part of it, though. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Frankie. I had it all. I had you guys, a great fucking job, and endless pussy.”

  She rolls her eyes at that, but no stranger to that kind of talk. “You can have all of that again.” She pushes my chin up with a closed fist, nudging me. “You still have your looks, I suppose.”

  They’ve always referred to me as “pretty boy” at the shop, not a nickname I’ve necessarily hated. I’ve pretty much leaned into my good looks my entire life. You won’t hear me complaining about something I was lucky enough to be born with.

  “I’m not worried about getting laid.”

  “Well, maybe you should be. Maybe that’s what you need to get over the infamous Evie Adamson.”

  “I need a change.”

  “How long do you have?”

  “A week.”

  She takes another deep breath and lays her head on my shoulder. “Give me the full week to change your mind.”

  “Frankie, it’s pretty much already made up.”

  She doesn’t move. “One week.”

  I smile and kiss her temple. “One week.”

  But in the back of my mind, I know what the end of the week will bring. I’m dying here and can’t do this anymore.

  “Jay, I literally just got home. Don’t start bitching at me.”

  I hear the huff from my brother as I balance the phone between my ear and shoulder, grabbing my bag from the trunk of the taxi I took from the airport.

  The car pulls away, and I hold the phone in my hand again.

  “It’s been too long since you’ve told me I’m a pain in the ass in person.”

  He cares. He loves you. Don’t be an asshole. “I know, Jay. I’m sorry. I promise we’ll get together really soon.”

  “Okay. I’m glad you’re back.”

  I don’t have the heart to tell him it’s only for a few days until I have to get on a plane for North Carolina this coming weekend. “Me too.”

  “Love you.”

  I know for a fact I’m the only person Jay has ever said that to, which breaks my heart for my big brother. “I love you. Talk to you later.”

  He agrees, and I hang up, walking up to my front porch, struggling to find my keys in the oversized bag.

  “I can help you with that.”

  My eyes lift at the familiar voice coming from the stairs of my porch. Frankie is sitting there, her make up sheer perfection along with her dark red hair tied into a knot on her head. She’s in jeans and a tattered concert tee. “Frankie. What a nice surprise.”

  She laughs as she climbs up, taking a couple of steps toward me. “Liar. Me showing up kind of hinders your whole avoid-everyone-who-cares-about-you plan.”

  No bullshit ever comes from Frankie. “I am happy to see you.”

  “We miss you.”

  I can’t do this today or any day. I can’t hear how it’s all falling apart without me. These are strong people. They’ll be fine. I walk past her and go to my front door as I find my keys. “I didn’t die. I’m around.”

  I hear her walk up the steps to stand behind me. “But you’re not. No one is. Everyone at the shop is just punching a clock and then going home. It feels like an actual job now.”

  “Well, that’s what it is.”

  “You know that’s not all Chris’s shop is.”

  I pause as I hold the keys in my hand but can’t gain the strength to unlock the door. “I know.”

  It was a family, a refuge for all the bad Jay, Frankie, and I grew up with. Ty, as far as I know, had a normal childhood, but he couldn’t wait to get out of the small town he grew up in and get to the big city. He found Chris and Jay, and they took him in. Chris had a privileged life, but his parents were godawful. We all bonded quickly, settling in a deep love we found with each other.

  “So, come back. Really come back.”

  I turn to face her. “I can’t.”

  “Why? Because you’re in love with Ty?”

  “I’m not.” She cocks her head to the side, and I know there’s no point in denying I once was. “Not anymore.”

  She’s studying me closely as she lifts her right shoulder upward. “Okay, great. So then, what’s stopping you?”

  “I needed a change.”

  “And you got it, but we’re still there. We still exist. And if you aren’t pining for Ty anymore, there isn’t any reason you can’t come back. There’s no reason we can’t go back to Sundays at Ty’s house, watching whatever sport is on, weekly dinners, or you stopping by the shop just to hang out.”

  I swallow hard, the painful memories eating me alive. “Frankie, stop.”

  “No.”

  I’m surprised by her brutal refusal. She’s a tough woman, but she’s usually gentle with me. “No?”

  “He’s leaving.”

  “What? Who?”

  “Ty. Some jackass offered him a job in Texas.”

  I scoff at that. “No way Ty is moving to Texas.”

  “He is. He has a week to give them an answer.” She places a hand on my shoulder, her eyes full of concern. “And he’s already made up his mind, Morgan. He’s leaving.”

  I feel dread in the pit of my stomach but try like hell not to show it to Frankie. “He won’t.”

  “I don’t think we have time to live in denial. He’s leaving, Morgan, unless we stop him.”

  I hold my keys in my hand and, instead of unlocking the door, take a seat on the top step of my porch. “I can’t make Ty do anything.”

  She takes a seat next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder in a comforting gesture I lean into. I really wish my brother would wife her already. But Jay is terrified of actual commitment, and she can’t wait around for him anymore. “I think you can. And Jay too.”

  I laugh sadly at that. “I really can’t make Jay do anything.”

  “Yeah, he’s a stubborn motherfucker.”

  “He sees me as a child.”

  “So make him see you as a grown woman.” Her tone is calm and kind, but forceful. “Make them both see the powerful, strong woman you’ve become.”

  I’ve come a long way, a really long way. I moved out from living in the apartment above the tattoo shop into my own home. I work for one of the top racers in the country. I am a strong, powerful woman. But those two men can make m
e feel like a little girl with one look.

  “You really think he’s going to leave?”

  I feel her head nodding against mine as we stare out at my empty suburban street. “Yeah. He’s not the same as he once was.”

  “I’ll try to talk to him.”

  I feel her body relax. “Thank you.”

  “Is Jay still being horrible?”

  He did not take Ty kissing me well. He saw it as some sort of betrayal because Ty hurt me. But he’s mad for all of the wrong reasons, and I don’t need him to fight my battles for me. “He’s an ass.”

  “One you’re still in love with?”

  I’m not being cruel. Frankie is one of my best friends, and neither one of us hold back anymore. “Hell no.” She stands up, smoothing the hair on top of her head. “I’m going on a date tomorrow, in fact.”

  I stand tall and look into her eyes. “Good for you.”

  I don’t miss the hint of sadness on her pretty face, but she straightens her shoulders. “It’s time we forget about these boys and live our lives.”

  “I’m trying.”

  She pulls me into a hug, her chin resting on my shoulder. “Me too. They make it really difficult.”

  I hug her tighter, and we say our good-byes before I go inside my home, pouring a glass of wine, taking a sip as I stare out the large picture window of my dining room.

  Ty is moving to Texas unless I can change his mind? How the hell am I supposed to do that?

  I hear the brittle grass crunching next to me and sit up straighter in the outdoor patio chair I’m lounging in, whiskey in hand. Spring is ending, and summer is starting to take over, leaving the grass dry. “Whatever you’re here for, you’re in the wrong place.”

  “I used to be welcome here.”

  Shit. I swear my heart just tried to jump out of my chest when I hear Morgan’s voice, once so familiar to me but now sounding strange and foreign. “Morgan?”

  She walks around the corner and into view, studying the deck outside the back door of my house that wasn’t here the last time she was here. She stands in front of me in a cropped, white shirt and a gray, skintight skirt. She’s tan and toned, her dirty blond hair tousled and waving in the wind. “Ty.”