A Woman with Secrets

by Inglath Cooper

BY ELEVEN-FIFTEEN, they were headed across open water. Cole stood at the wheel and double-checked the satellite phone he used when cell reception was questionable. Harry entertained everyone with made-up ghost stories that got more unbelievable with every twist judging from the tolerant smiles on the faces of his audience.

  Cole and Kate had been doing the avoidance dance again this morning. He couldn’t deny that he was leading. He knew what she must be thinking. That he regretted the fact that they’d slept together last night. But it wasn’t that. It was the opposite, actually.

  She was the only one who knew what he faced today. He felt as if an axe hung over his head. If it fell, he’d be permanently split in half. And he wasn’t up to seeing the reflection of that awareness in her face.

  An hour after they set out, he spotted the island in the distance, slowing the boat as they got closer. A hundred yards off shore, he brought it to a stop and lowered the anchor. Harry dropped the dinghy to take in to the beach. Cole passed out life jackets for everyone and then headed below to retrieve the cooler of picnic lunches he’d asked the hotel to put together that morning.

  Halfway there, he heard Kate call out behind him. He turned and watched her descend the stairs to stop in front of him.

  She stared at him for a moment, looking uncertain. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “Just not very good company.”

  “You don’t have to be.”

  He could see that she meant it, and he suddenly felt like the world’s biggest jerk for shutting her out. “I’m sorry for leaving this morning without saying anything.”

  “Don’t be,” she said. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. If it’s easier to kind of hang out by yourself, I understand. I just wanted you to know I’m here if you don’t want to be alone.”

  “Thanks,” he said. Looking at her, an emotion something very like tenderness swept up through him. This, too, was a feeling he hadn’t known in some time. It caught him off guard, and he couldn’t think of a single thing to say in response.

  A noise sounded behind them, a crash of some kind, followed by a startled yelp.

  “What was that?” Kate asked.

  “I have no idea,” he said. He pointed toward the galley and put a finger to his lips. Silent, they walked to the door. He turned the knob and slowly opened it. Then stopped and stared.

  From behind him, Kate said, “Oh, my goodness.”

  On the floor, amidst a pile of brooms and mops, sat Louis.

  “Are you all right?” Cole asked, extending a hand to pull him up.

  The boy’s nod was sheepish. “I’m sorry about the mess, Mr. Hunter.”

  “Louis,” he said, trying to make his voice stern. “What are you doing here?”

  “One of the older guys at the home said you probably wouldn’t ever come back again.”

  Cole heard the worry in the boy’s voice and realized he’d never understood quite what his visits to the orphanage meant. “Does Mr. Dillon know you’re here?” he asked in a soft voice.

  Louis shook his head, looking down at the floor with a guilty expression.

  Kate started picking up the items that had fallen out of the closet.

  “How did you get in here?” Cole asked.

  “I waited until the guys at the pier weren’t looking, and then I sneaked on.”

  For a few moments, Cole had no idea what to say. “Scott must be worried sick about you,” he finally managed.

  “I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice.

  “We’ll have to get you back.”

  Louis nodded.

  Kate placed the last mop in the closet, then looked at Cole. “Could he go with us to the island first?”

  Louis turned molten eyes to him, the plea there too plain to ignore. How could he say no? “Louis, what you did was wrong for a lot of reasons. You can stay until this afternoon, but only if you call Mr. Dillon and let him know where you are. You can tell him we’ll have you back later today.”

  Louis’s relief was nearly palpable. “Yes, sir.”

  Kate put a hand on his shoulder, looking at Cole with gratitude. The three of them headed upstairs then where he introduced Louis to everyone and explained that they would be taking him back to Tango Island when they left here. He searched for Scott’s number in his directory, then dialed and handed Louis the phone.

  He walked over to stand by the railing, talked for a couple of minutes and then came back and handed the phone to Cole. “He’s pretty upset.”

  Cole gave the boy’s shoulder a squeeze before saying, “It’ll be all right. He’s just worried about you. You can’t just take off without telling anyone where you’re going.”

  Louis nodded and looked down at his feet. “I won’t do it again.”

  Cole glanced at the phone, noticing that he had a message. He walked over to the other side of the boat and punched in his password. It was Sam, apologetic. “Cole, the ex changed the meeting time to four this afternoon. I’ll call you as soon as I know something.”

  He clicked off the phone, resisting the impulse to hurl it over the side of the boat. He heard footsteps behind him. “Everything all right?” Kate asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, hearing the lie in his own voice.

  She put a hand on his arm. “You don’t look like it’s okay.”

  He started to say something, but the words stuck in his throat.

  “You don’t need to explain,” Kate said. “I’ll get a life jacket for Louis.”

  He nodded and then decided that the only way to get through this day was to close out all the scenarios of failure that kept looping through his head and let himself believe that this time he would find his daughter.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  He who is a slave of truth is a free man.

  —Arabian Proverb

  KATE FOUND LOUIS to be nothing short of a delight.

  In his eyes, this was clearly an adventure of the highest magnitude. Watching him, she decided that she would let herself see this day as he saw it. A step outside of the ordinary. She had begun to realize that she wanted to be the kind of person who could see the little surprises in life as added bonuses rather than as problems to solve.

  Louis was an added bonus.

  Cole transported the group in two trips from the Ginny to the white sand shore of their deserted island. Lyle, Lily and Kate went with Louis on the first ride, stepping onto the beach with exclamations of delight while Cole went back to get the others.

  From the shore, there was no sign that humans had ever lived on the island. No buildings of any kind. Just an indefinite stretch of white sand and aqua water.

  Lyle and Lily spread their towels beneath a palm tree, while Kate and Louis started a sand castle, using a couple of the red plastic cups she pulled from her beach bag. They’d just finished the moat when Cole arrived with Harry, Margo and her father. Lyle and Lily waved Dr. Sheldon their way, insisting that he take the extra towel they’d set up and then immediately peppering him with questions about the students he’d taught over the years and what they’d gone on to do.

  Cole beached the dinghy, then made his way over to where Kate and Louis were now forming the foundation of their castle.

  “Impressive,” he said.

  “Join us,” she offered.

  “It’s going to be huge,” Louis said.

  “Then maybe you do need a little help,” Cole agreed, dropping onto the sand beside them.

  They all worked for a while without talking. Kate finished up the moat by adding a couple of offshoots. Cole and Louis completed the base of the castle, then got busy with the second level. When they’d finished, it was four stories high, the top a Rapunzel-type tower.

  Louis headed for the ocean, running back and forth for cups of water until the moat was full.

  Kate got up from the sand, walking a short distance away to where a stand of flowers grew in a raucous profusion of yellow and orange. She picked a few and carried them back to the castle. “Since
we’re short on damsels in distress,” she said, “the place needs some flowers.”

  Louis watched her stick one in each of the holes they’d carved for windows, then smiled.

  “A woman’s touch,” Cole said.

  She glanced up at him, flushing at the way he said this. It occurred to her that just a few days ago, there would have been sarcasm in his voice. She liked the fact that there was none there now.

  Just after noon, they made a picnic spot in the shade of a couple of palm trees, pulling food from the coolers they’d brought ashore. Louis ate with the kind of intent that said too clearly how many meals he had missed in his young life. A knot formed in her heart, and the taste of her own sandwich dulled under the realization.

  When everyone had finished, they put the leftover food back in the coolers. Cole suggested a walk to the other side of the island where the stone huts occupied by the people who had once lived there still stood.

  They all agreed to go, even Dr. Sheldon, who offered a chivalrous arm to both Lyle and Lily. The walk took a half hour or so, and the sounds they made against the island’s stillness were happy sounds, filled with laughter and teasing. At one point, Harry told another of his famous ghost stories, his rendition more silly than scary. Even so, Louis reached for Kate’s hand, and they walked the rest of the way like that. It felt good to be needed, even in as slight a way as this.

  They rounded a bend in the beach to find a cluster of a dozen or so stone huts, still complete except for their missing roofs.

  “It’s kind of eerie,” she said, rubbing her arms against a sudden chill.

  “Did people used to live here?” Louis asked.

  “Yes,” Cole said.

  “Is this the island where the people were all killed by a hurricane?”

  Cole nodded. Louis ran to one of the buildings, putting a hand on the rock, as if to make sure it was really there. Harry and Margo walked over and said something to Louis. Harry took the boy’s hand, and they weaved their way through the small village.

  Kate and Cole sat on an enormous boulder that looked as if it might have once marked some kind of entrance. The sun slipped behind a cloud, and she flipped her sunglasses to the top of her head. “How horrible that an entire town full of people could just be swept away,” she said.

  Cole didn’t answer for a few moments, and when he did, his voice had a faraway note to it. “Isn’t that how it happens in life, though? One minute, the sun is shining, and everything seems good. The next, the world is no longer recognizable.”

  She heard the weight in his voice, wished she could say something that might lift it. “You mean Ginny?”

  He looked at her, the pain in his eyes undeniable. “When you’re living your life a certain way, it seems normal. I thought I was normal. That it was the right thing for me to get out there with my swing blade every day cutting a path to a secure future. I would give anything to go back and change who I was.”

  “What would you change?” she asked, her voice low.

  “The way I saw what I had,” he said without hesitation. “I think of my daughter and how days would go by when I would leave the house before she woke up and she would be asleep when I got home.” He shook his head. “What was I thinking? How could I have thought anything could be more important than her?”

  “Cole—”

  He held up a hand. “I didn’t tell you this so you could try to make me feel better. I screwed up, and I have no one to blame for it but myself.”

  There was so much she would have liked to say, but didn’t. She knew he didn’t want to hear it, that accepting responsibility for his choices was part of how he would eventually heal. She thought of her own life, her own choices, and knew she’d reached the fork in the road. In one direction was the way she used to live, hand outstretched for all she believed was hers for the taking. In the other, a new life, a clear vision of another Kate. A Kate that might look for some way to give back instead of take.

  Louis reappeared with Harry and Margo, Harry doing what appeared to be the Michael Jackson moonwalk. Louis smiled, happiness changing his face, his whole posture. Watching them, something lightened inside her, and she was certain of one thing. Like Cole, she didn’t want to go back to who she’d been. Never considering how children might fit into her life. She wanted to be the kind of person who could give a boy like Louis a reason to smile.

  It was a lofty enough goal for a girl who not so long ago had never thought to care.

  * * *

  WHEN HARRY ASKED Margo if she’d like to look around the island, her first inclination was to say no. There seemed little point in continuing their game of flirt and withdraw. But as she’d already acknowledged, she had a difficult time turning Harry down.

  So here they were, walking alone now, after leaving Cole, Kate and that precious Louis in the middle of what must have once been the island’s population center. They followed a path to a stretch of pristine white beach. The turquoise water folded its way in from the ocean, breaking onto the sand in gentle waves.

  Harry took off his shoes and waded in, looking back to beckon her forward. She hesitated, then slipped off her sandals and joined him. They stood, silent, staring out at the bare horizon.

  “Could there be anything more beautiful?” she asked.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw him turn to look at her. In a moment of awkwardness, she wondered if he might think she’d staged the question, hoping for a cliché answer from him. Her face heated with the thought, and she struggled for some other thread of conversation to initiate.

  Her mind went blank, however, when he put a hand on her arm and turned her to face him. He stepped forward, the water splashing against their legs. He looked down at her for a long time, as if memorizing her face. “Yes,” he said. “You.”

  She knew better than to let herself be swayed by pretty words, but swayed she was.

  He reached out, touched her face with the back of his hand. “Kate told me about what happened when you were a child.”

  He said it so softly that she thought for a moment she might not have heard him. Sympathy tinted his voice, but also deep caring, and it was this which made tears spring to her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried about it. She tried hard not to now, but failed.

  Harry pulled her into his arms, enclosing her in the tight circle of his embrace. She felt utterly safe there, safe as she had once felt a long time ago, before that black time in her life. He took her hand and led her along the beach until they came to a spot of shade beneath a lone palm tree. They sat down, and still he didn’t let go of her hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

  For a long time, they didn’t say anything. Finally, Harry said, “I can’t imagine how you survived that.”

  “I lived on hope,” she said. “I prayed every day that someone would tell my father where I was. And one day, that’s exactly what happened.”

  His arms tightened around her. “How do you ever look at life the same way again?”

  “You don’t,” she said simply. “It affected my father more than it did me. Permanently, I mean.”

  “Yeah. I think I understand that a whole lot better now. I can see why he would never want to let you out of his sight.”

  “And yet I’m thirty-five years old. I guess it’s not healthy for either of us. During the time I was gone, he had a nervous breakdown. Everyone thinks I’m the fragile one, but that’s not true, really.”

  ‘That’s an awfully big sack of responsibility for you to be carrying around,” Harry said, rubbing her shoulder now.

  Raw response skittered through her, and she closed her eyes to focus on what he’d said. “I guess I do feel responsible in a way. I knew not to talk to strangers, and yet I let myself be fooled.”

  “Margo. Children are innocent. Adults have weapons like cunning and evil. How can innocence stand a chance against either of those?”

  He leaned back a bit, turning her face to his. He studied her for a while, and
she was aware of the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand where they sat. Mostly, though, she was aware of Harry. The way he smelled, the depth of feeling reflected in his blue eyes. He leaned down and kissed her. She thought for a moment of resisting, but as quickly as it appeared, the impulse was gone. Harry was safety. She knew this with a certainty that settled on her like the warmth of a down quilt on a cold winter night.

  She lay back on the sand, Harry above her now. They looked at each other for a long time, no words necessary. He lowered his head and kissed her again. And she thought if they stayed right there for the rest of her life, it would be just fine with her.

  * * *

  THEY SPENT THE next couple of hours exploring the island. Cole saw it through Louis’s eyes, aware that he had failed to ever see the world through his daughter’s eyes. The regret of this sat like a stone on his shoulders, and he swore to himself that if he were given another chance, he would be a good father. He would be a better man.

  They’d split off into three groups, Harry and Margo disappearing altogether, the professor and the Granger sisters meandering along the water’s edge, picking up shells. Cole, Kate and Louis ventured toward the center of the island, coming across a flat of rock on which a dozen or so iguanas lazed in the afternoon sun.

  “Wow,” Louis said. “Can I pet one of them?”

  “I doubt they’ll let you,” Cole said.

  “I’ll be real easy.”

  Cole and Kate watched the boy tiptoe across the sandy ground, squatting a couple of feet back from one of the larger creatures.

  “When I was a little girl,” Kate said, “I wanted to adopt a baby when I grew up. One of my teachers adopted a little boy who was four or five years old. He’d been in an awful situation, a mother on drugs who’d abandoned him. A neighbor found him after a few days. I remember the bond between him and his adoptive mother. It was amazing to see how much they loved each other. It was like they both needed one another on some deeper than normal level. Do you think that’s what real love is?”

  “Maybe the lasting kind,” he said.

  She watched Louis, and Cole saw something soften in her eyes. “These last few days I’ve realized some things about my life.”