She couldn’t be what he needed, so they should at least be honest about the future. The thought of anyone touching her made her break into a cold sweat. She had nightmares every night and couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping next to someone, letting herself ever be that vulnerable again.
Trenton liked to call the shots and the way he used to touch her body… Her mind shut down. If anyone grabbed her from behind she feared she’d scream and freak out. She couldn’t hold it against him for pulling away when he did.
Their spark had disappeared. When he’d been staying at her house, he no longer looked at her with lust, but with sympathy.
Deep down, she was angry about her sexuality. Being a woman made her feel like a walking orifice any man could violate. Although Trent had only been trying to help, when he would tell her to eat or go to bed she resented him for assuming she needed to be told how to take care of herself. Then she hated herself because she knew he was only trying to take care of her and his suggestions were nothing like the orders Marcus would issue.
Whenever anyone presumed to tell her what she should be doing she got snitty. She was bitter and had every right to be. None of them knew what it was like to have their free will stripped, to have every decision made for them, to bear the humiliation she endured, the fear, the... No one knew and she didn’t have the strength to explain it to them. That was probably why she hadn’t kept her appointments to speak to a therapist.
Despite being one herself, her faith in the practice was shaken. No one had been in that room with her aside from Marcus. He was dead and she wanted every memory of him to die with him. Who cared if she was compartmentalizing to separate her thoughts from her feelings? Marcus had stolen so much from her. She didn’t want to give him one more second of her life.
She would trade a million pleasures to never have to think about the misery he put her through ever again. She had books and experience. When she was ready, she’d heal herself. But even her limited foresight told her she’d never be the same. The woman Trenton expected her to be was gone.
“I can’t eat this.”
Chloe looked at Kat as she pushed aside her burger, shoving away her thoughts for another time. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just uncomfortable.”
“It’s this damn heat. I can’t stand it.” Jade fanned herself with a paper plate.
Kat took a deep breath and held it for a long moment. Was that another contraction?
“Do you want me to get Ty?”
“No, I’m fine.” She shut her eyes and exhaled, making a small tight O with her lips.
“Katherine, I have to get going—” Kat’s father frowned. “Are you feeling all right, sweetheart?”
“I’m fine, Daddy. Thanks for coming. I’ll see you this Sunday at dinner.”
“Maybe I should take Mia with me in case you go to the hospital tonight.”
“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks, though.”
She didn’t look fine, Chloe thought. “Kat, maybe you should go inside to the air conditioning for a little bit.”
“It’ll pass. This is just a long one.”
“I would go inside if I could get my fat ass out of this beach chair,” Jade griped. “Why do I keep sitting in low chairs?”
Kat moaned and Chloe scanned the yard to Tyson.
Gloria walked over, her braids tied tight to her head, a wet handkerchief draped across the back of her neck. Her long orange nails wrapped around a margarita. “God, it’s hot. You girls need anything?” Gloria’s eyes bulged when she looked at Kat, “Girl, you all right?”
“I’m—I’m fine.” Kat breathed and pressed her hands to her sides.
“You don’t look fine. Looks like you about to have a baby!”
“My contractions aren’t close enough yet, please don’t get everyone all worked up for nothing.”
Jade removed her sunglasses and studied Kat. “How many have you had in the past twenty minutes? You sound like you're having sex.”
“Oh, it doesn’t feel like sex.” Kat breathed.
Jade paled. “Oh, God. It hurts, doesn’t it? How bad is it?”
“I think I’m going to get Tyson,” Chloe said, but Kat placed a staying hand on her arm as she moved to get up.
“Please don’t. It’ll be over in a minute.”
Gloria put her fist on her hips and scowled. “Honey, whether you admit it or not, you’re in labor and we’re at a picnic. Now, I don’t know what you think’s gonna happen, but in the words of Prissy, ‘I don’t know nothing ‘bout birthin’ no babies’ so you best get yourself out of that chair because you’re goin’ to the hospital. Darrel! Get Ty! Kat’s in labor.”
As if a fire alarm sounded, everyone flew into motion. Tyson rushed to Kat’s side, still wearing his grill apron that said I leave it smokin’ and well done. He ushered her to the car, his mother following with Kat’s hospital bag.
Mia ran over as Jeremy hoisted Jade out of her chair. “Is Momma having the baby?”
Chloe didn’t know what to do so she stayed out of the way.
“What’s going on?” Mattie asked beside her.
“Kat’s having the baby.”
“Cool!” He was quiet for a minute then asked. “How do they get it out?”
Chloe’s mouth opened then snapped shut. “Go find your brother.”
Five minutes after Gloria’s announcement the yard was empty. The Four Tops played on the radio as paper plates and checkered tablecloths fluttered in the hot breeze. The sprinkler waved in the empty space and even a few chairs lay tipped on their sides.
It was a ghost town. Everyone was gone.
“Boys, let’s clean some of this up.”
Chloe gathered up trash so it didn’t blow all over the yard. She folded tablecloths and instructed the boys to bring the food inside. Sitting at a picnic table, because she couldn’t stand without her crutches, she covered the leftovers with foil as Mattie carried them to the fridge.
“Dayton, if you drag over some of those chairs I’ll collapse them.”
She was fighting with a chair when her skin suddenly prickled and the hair on her neck lifted with a chill.
“Need a hand with that, doll?”
She slowly turned to find Trenton standing at the gate of the picket fence. His hair was tied back and his jaw wore the stubble of a few days. His long, tapered legs filled out a pair of well-worn blue jeans and his shirt was nothing special. So why did her stomach feel like it was doing summersaults? “Trenton.”
“Hi.” He pushed through the gate and scanned the vacant yard. “Where is everyone?”
“The hospital. Kat’s having the baby.”
“No shit? That’s great.” He laughed and then frowned. “They left you here to clean up?”
“No, they all just sort of left, so I figured…”
“Do you need help?”
“We’re about done.”
“Oh.” He took the chair she’d been trying to fold and closed it.
He looked much more rested since the last time she saw him. “Are you just getting back into town?”
“I got back on Wednesday.”
She lowered her gaze. “Oh.” He’d been back for days and not contacted her. Rather than acknowledge her confusing disappointment, she changed the subject. “This weather’s horrible.”
When she glanced up at him he was frowning. “How are you feeling?”
She lowered her eyes again. She understood people were concerned, but she didn’t like the attention or the reminder. “Better. I go to the doctor again on Monday. Hopefully, I’ll be done with this boot.”
“Do you need a ride to the doctor’s or anything?”
“No, I’ve been driving. It’s my left foot.”
“Oh. Right.” He glanced at the house. “Are the boys here?”
“They’re inside playing Tetris with the fridge and leftovers.”
He chuckled and she smiled. She missed his laugh.
“You look good, Chloe.”
Her smile faltered. “Thanks. So do you.” He always looked good.
The screen door opened and Dayton came out. “Mom, everything’s off.” He stilled when he saw Trenton.
“Hey, bud.”
Dayton’s head tipped back as he looked up at Trenton. “You’re back.”
“For now.”
Chloe’s gaze turned to him, wondering at his response. Was he leaving to take another job again? So soon?
Mattie came out and smiled up at Trenton. “Mia’s mom’s having her baby!”
“I heard.” Trent smiled, brushing a hand over Mattie’s sweaty hair. “Did you grow?”
“I dunno. Do you know how the baby gets out?”
Trent flushed and looked to her. She smiled. “Mattie, go find the toys you brought. Dayton, you too.”
When they scampered off he laughed. “That was a loaded question.”
“Dayton will explain it to him.”
“Does he know?”
“About storks? Of course.” The joke wasn’t made out of lazy parenting. It was made from a desire to give her boys some of their innocence back—at least for a little while.
The boys came back with their action figures in hand. “Are you coming to our house?” Dayton asked, tipping his head back to look at Trenton.
He glanced down at her and back to the boys. “Not today.”
More unwelcome disappointment. She forced a smile. “We should probably get going.”
“I’ll walk you out.” He escorted them to the car, holding her door but never attempting to touch her, not even in the friendly way he sometimes brushed a hand over the boys. As he hovered by her car door it became more difficult to hold a smile.
“Thanks for walking us out.”
He hesitated, his hand still on the door. “Chloe… If there’s ever anything you need … or want…”
She blinked away and fumbled with her seatbelt. “We’re doing okay. You’ve done enough.”
Something flashed in his eyes and she’d sensed she’d somehow wounded him when that wasn’t her intention.
“I just mean that you’ve already done so much, Trenton. I know you have other things going on.”
His thick lashes lowered and his hand released the door. “Sure.” He stepped back and tilted to see in the back windows. “You boys be good for your mother.”
“Bye, Trenton,” they called and Chloe hesitated as she watched through the mirror as he walked away.
She sighed. “Who feels like ice cream?”
The boys let out an enthusiastic cheer.
That evening, Tyson Adams, Junior was born. No matter how devastated Chloe was on the inside, the outside world continued to progress. Days passed, and milestones were marked all around her.
While excited for these small markers in time and what they meant for her friends, everything in her personal life seemed frozen. She marked days off on her calendar as if she was counting down to something important, but she didn’t know what.
Summer passed in a hot blur of nothingness and by early September the boys were back in school and Chloe was feeling emptier than ever. She wondered if she’d ever go back to work. Her mind frequently touched on her patients, but she worried how useful she’d be in her state. The last session she’d had was with Jade, the day Chloe humiliated herself in front of a client and Marcus showed up.
Late September, Nathan Lithe contacted her with the news that Marcus’s house had sold. She was given a lump sum, which she intended to move into a trust for the boys. She’d forgotten how wealthy they were. The house in Virginia alone sold for three hundred and fifty thousand. But all the money he’d left behind failed to bring any sense of vindication.
Life would be so simple if dollar bills could heal human souls, but domestic abuse left scars no amount of time or money could mend. She knew what she was up against, and for all of her training, she didn’t know how to fix her disjointed heart.
Shame was as slippery as envy and as intangible as her rage. The only emotion she could fully grasp was guilt. She was happy, but discontent.
She hadn’t spoken to Trenton in months, not since running into him at Kat and Tysons. What they shared was clearly over. She missed the sound of his voice, his presence in her life, and knowing how his days were going. But no matter how often she wondered about him, she knew he’d be better off with someone else, so she resisted the urge to contact him.
Every now and then she drank her coffee black, shutting her eyes and recalling how his kisses tasted early in the morning. That was as far as her mind could go. Memories of their evenings and the things they did at night in his bed… Those things didn’t fill her with the same warmth the thought of his kisses did.
That autumn, for her thirty-ninth birthday, Chloe bought herself something special. Rather than try to find another office to lease, she invested in a building in New Castle and hired Adams Construction to handle the renovations. She wanted to return to work but intended to do things a little differently this time.
It was the first time she didn’t have to fear putting property in her name would lead to trouble. Signing the mortgage with her now legal name felt like signing away a weight she’d carried for years. There was no consequence and no fear, only hope that she was moving in the right direction.
“So tell me what you envision?” Tyson asked as they walked through the open space.
Chloe’s chest warmed as she understood this could be anything she wanted and with her recent inheritance, the sky seemed the limit. “I want it painted in a welcoming color, a soft yellow I think, with cheery white accents. We’ll need state of the art washers and dryers installed in the basement, at least two of each. I’m buying a large donation bin to keep out back, so there will be a lot of items to clean.”
“We’ll make sure you have the right amp service for that.” Tyson made a note on his clipboard.
“In the front, I’ll need those planked walls they have in stores to display the clothing. Some shelving, too. We’re going to stocked everything from hair dye, to spray tan and wigs. And a fully equipped bathroom where women can shower and literally change.”
“Definitely going to have to upgrade the plumbing.”
“The bathroom doesn’t have to be on the first floor.”
He grinned. “Chloe, this is your renovation. We’ll put the bathroom wherever you want. What’s going in that big room back there?”
“I have a plan for it, but I’m… I was thinking we could just leave that alone for now.”
“You don’t want us to touch it?”
“I want to keep the rafters exposed and only finish off the floors and paint the walls.” When he looked confused she explained, “I’m thinking of making it a gym, but I need to talk to a self-defense instructor to figure out the best way to set it up.”
Understanding registered in his eyes. “Gotchya. We’ll clean it up for you and leave it until you’re ready to ask him.”
She flushed, assuming they both realized she was hoping to ask Trenton.
“So where do you envision your office?”
Her office was going on the second floor beside rooms that would be devoted to legal matters, medical exams, and a private area with cots and blankets for temporary residents. “Upstairs near the residents’ quarters. Security is a major concern.”
“Not a problem.” He made another note. “We’ll get Jeremy to order a top of the line system and install monitors at all the doors. We can even build a panic room if that’s something you want.”
“Really?”
Tyson grinned. “I told you, Chloe, this is your design.”
She smiled, unable to recall a time she ever had so much freedom of choice. It seemed ironic that the money Marcus left was paying for it. In a long line of nasty Hunt men, this was the most meaningful legacy they would leave behind. She only wished Aunt Gina could have lived to see it.
Though she hadn’t done much since spring, this was shaping up to be the project of a lifetime. She plann
ed to call it BASE, Breaking Abuse and Securing an Escape.
The safe house would offer sanctuary to any women and children in need of one. Her finances allowed her to operate on a non-profit level and so she contacted a number of physicians and gynecologists who might be willing to work with her, pro-bono and on call. Nathan Lithe, when he found out what she wanted to do with her inheritance, agreed to volunteer his services, free of charge, for women seeking legal advice.
Everything was coming together so easily it was as if her plan was somehow meant to be. Once the renovations started, every day was a new adventure. Within a month they were stocking the shelves and pantries with supplies.
Jennifer returned to Chloe’s payroll and Tommy applied to manage the clothing area. BASE needed to offer complete anonymity to residents—no names or money required to stay. She wanted women to know the resources offered, but discretion was key.
She started with a web page and a story about a woman who hid her pennies in a canister of flour. Jeremy set up the site to scramble the search history, so no visitor’s computer could be traced back to BASE. Brochures where left where women visited, ladies rooms, women’s dressing rooms, gynecologists’ offices, and libraries. Once the site was live, questions slowly followed. Every answer was posted on the FAQ page, another way to boost confidentiality and keep any inquiries untraceable.
Sometimes pennies in a jar took too long, and she’d learned first-hand how a few days could be the difference between life and death. Domestic abuse was a lonesome and sometimes deadly war. The goal was to let women know they didn’t have to fight for survival alone. And with every rescue came a tinge of pride, a thread that seemed to reinforce this new foundation she was building and mend some invisible part of herself.
One week after their doors opened they had residents arrive. Packets were mass-produced to educate women about safety precautions, including everything from hotlines to helpful tips like keeping a can of wasp spray by the bed. Wasp spray had a reach of twenty feet and could debilitate an attacker for an hour, much more powerful than pepper spray.
“When do you intend to talk to him about the big room?” Tommy asked as Chloe sifted through receipts.
Something Borrowed (New Castle Book 3) Page 29
