by Tricia Goyer
Rebecca found muffins on the counter, and she poured herself a glass of orange juice from the fridge. She sat at the table and flipped through the newspaper, wondering when they were going to come in. Didn’t they have church today?
Thirty minutes later the two entered, faces aglow, strolling as if they didn’t have a care in the world.
Rebecca looked at the clock. “I thought you were leaving for church today.”
“Ben and I talked about it, and we are going to stay home. We don’t know how long you’ll be with us, and we’d rather spend time talking with you.”
“Is that allowed?” Rebecca dared to ask.
Ben settled across from her at the table in one of the kitchen chairs. “What do you mean?”
“Do you have to confess before the church if you skip?”
Ben chuckled. “Ne, it’s nothing like that. We know that God desires for us to join together to worship and to unite with other believers, but we also live under grace. Jesus got into trouble for picking heads of wheat on the Sabbath and allowing others to do the same. The Jewish religious leaders accused Him of going against God’s laws, but He was God. I think He was showing us that what we often make a big deal of isn’t that big of a deal at all.”
Rebecca nodded, pretending she understood, but wondering what wheat had to do with missing church. “So we’re all staying home?”
Ben nodded. “Marianna’s going to pack a picnic lunch, and I’ll bring my Bible. There’s a story about a Samaritan I think you’ll like.”
“He tended the injured man when the religious leaders walked by. Ja, I’ve read that before.”
“Good! Then we can have a lively discussion!”
Less than an hour later they were sitting on the shore of Carpenter Lake. At first Marianna didn’t understand why they drove past the large Lake Koocanusa to come here, but once they got out of the car she understood. This lake was small, intimate. Except for a few fishermen, they were the only ones there. Soft green grass lined the shore, and the sound of the lapping water brought a smile to Rebecca’s face.
Beyond the trees on the other shoreline was a mountain range. Rebecca was certain she’d never take those mountains for granted as long as she stayed here.
“Rats. Should have brought my fishing pole.” Ben slapped his leg with his hat as he climbed from the truck.
“Sorry, you’ll just have to sit with us and suffer through all the small talk,” Marianna chirped.
“Well, as long as you packed up some of those raspberry bars that you made, then it’s a deal.”
Soon a soft gray blanket was spread, and each had a plate full of chicken salad sandwiches, carrot sticks, blueberry muffins, and the oatmeal raspberry bars that looked delicious. They sat there, enjoying the meal and view and small talk, until Marianna turned the subject to something Rebecca had avoided. “So how are things back in the community?” she asked.
“The same, I suppose. Does anything ever really change in Shipshewana?”
“Vell, my sister-in-law Naomi wrote and told me they painted the school. It was white but someone messed up and it’s more off-white now.” Marianna chuckled. “I miss it, you know. I mean, as much as I love it here—love Ben—Indiana still feels like home. I suppose it always will.”
“It doesn’t seem right that someone else is living in your family’s old house. Things look different. I suppose they’ll never really be the same again. Ach, and another change that will always happen: more babies have been born. Do you remember Eleanor Lapp, who was a year ahead of us in school? She just had her third boppli. Can you believe it?”
Marianna grabbed a muffin and slowly peeled off the paper wrapper, as if it captured all her attention, but Rebecca could see that her mind was someplace else.
“So do they ever talk about me?” Marianna finally asked.
“Of course, don’t they talk about everyone who leaves?” Rebecca offered a harsh chuckle. “And they believe your parents will be next. They think that’s why you came here—to hide your actions. They believe that you want to get away from the eyes of the community so you can live like you want. They think it’s easier for you—your parents—to walk away.”
Tears rimmed Marianna’s eyes. “They have no idea. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s still hard. That’s who I was . . . and the only thing that made me know that it was time for me to go was what—who—I had waiting.” Marianna glanced up at Ben, but instead of the look of love she expected to see exchanged between them, Marianna’s eyebrows knotted in worry. Ben saw it too.
“Are you all right?” He reached out and touched her arm.
Marianna shrugged. “My stomach is hurting, that’s all.”
Ben’s face went pale. “I think we better head for home. As great as this has been, you need to rest.”
Marianna stood, and it was Ben who set to work cleaning up their lunch things.
“Oh, ja. We should rest before Edgar’s party.” Marianna tried to keep her tone light.
Rebecca could tell something was wrong, but neither Ben nor Marianna gave any hints as to what it was. Instead she followed their cue and stayed silent most of the trip home. As much as Ben and Marianna tried to pretend they had the perfect life, something was definitely bothering them.
CHAPTER
9
Even though she’d slept in until almost eight o’clock, Rebecca didn’t have a hard time dozing off when she lay down for a nap. Her mother had always told her she was gone too much and needed time to rest. Back home she hadn’t had the option. In addition to her work and family, the few extra hours of her free time were spent on school work.
Rebecca brushed out her hair and then carefully pinned it up so that not one stray piece was out of place. Fortunately, Marianna still had all her Amish clothes. Rebecca borrowed a blue dress, stockings, and a vest and apron. The dress was the same dark blue as the lupines that dotted her dat’s farmland in the spring. Her kapp was white, pressed to perfection.
Marianna still looked a little pale when they climbed into the truck again, but she seemed to be doing better now than she had been. It took only five minutes for them to drive by truck to Marianna’s parents’ house. The Sommer family lived in a log house not far down the road from the Kootenai Kraft and Grocery and the small Amish school. Ben parked the truck, and right away Rebecca noted a mix of buggies and vehicles parked there.
“I wouldn’t believe such a place existed if—” Rebecca’s words caught in her throat as she noticed someone approaching.
Caleb jogged down the front porch steps and headed their direction. “Marianna, yer dat saw you pull up and was headed out to give you all a hand, but I told him to let me do the honors.”
Ben had already pulled out the large cooler filled with a jug of sun tea and a cut watermelon and was carrying that to the house. Caleb grabbed the lawn chairs.
“That’s awful kind of you.” Marianna glanced at Rebecca. “I’m sure Rebecca would love to follow you around back, Caleb. She hasn’t been to my folks’ place yet.”
“Ja, of course.” He glanced back at her and smiled. “If you’d like to follow.”
Rebecca had no choice but to match his stride. She should have talked to Marianna. She should have reminded her that she wasn’t interested in being paired up. And why would Marianna think she would be? She’d seen Rebecca as she climbed off the train wearing Englisch clothes. Did that give Marianna confidence that Rebecca was prepared for an Amish relationship? Then again, she was wearing Amish clothes now. Maybe that gave Marianna hope.
In the backyard, tables and chairs were set up. A trailer was off to the side. “I see they are using the items from the church’s bench wagon. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen our community’s benches used like that.”
“What do you mean?” Caleb asked.
“Vell, back in Indiana, church benches are used for church, and I wouldn’t call having a birthday party for an Englischman anything related to church.”
“My,
isn’t someone prepared to have a good time? Is there something else you want to mention before we kick off our shoes and join the game?” Rebecca followed Caleb’s gaze to the young people playing volleyball in one corner of the yard. She gasped as she realized they had indeed kicked off their shoes and were playing barefooted—teens in Englisch and Amish clothes together.
Rebecca gazed up at Caleb. “Are you asking me to play? I—”
“Rebecca!”
She heard the familiar voice calling her name and turned to see Ruth Sommer approaching. The woman’s hair had grown grayer around the temples. Had Marianna’s leaving the Amish church had anything to do with that?
“Mrs. Sommer!” Rebecca rushed forward. She was surprised when the older woman offered her a quick hug.
“You can call me Ruth, dear. You’re not a little girl anymore. I was worried when Marianna told me you were on your way here, alone, but Abe reminded me that God holds you in the palm of His hand, just like He holds the rest of our kids.”
Rebecca smiled. “Ja, vell, what is life without adventure?”
Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Caleb standing there and knew she shouldn’t say more than that. Maybe—hopefully—she’d have time to sit down with the Sommer family and catch up.
“I’m glad you mentioned adventure.” Caleb took a step forward, and Rebecca was surprised that he was jumping into their conversation. From the look on Mrs. Sommer’s face, she was too.
Caleb cleared his throat. “Rebecca, I know you came to visit your friend, but we have a trip we’re going to take. Ben and Marianna were going to go, but they changed their mind. We have space. It’s a full week there and back to Libby, but it’s something you’ll never get a chance to experience again. We’ll be taking our wagons and buggies along old logging roads in the mountains. Some guys I know did the same trip a few years back, and they said it was like being on the Oregon Trail. Of course the mountains are different. There are beautiful mountain ranges that I’m sure you’d love to see—”
“Wait.” Rebecca held up a hand. “Are you inviting me to go with you?”
“It’s not just me. There is Amos, Marianna’s uncle Ike, and two womenfolk, Annie and Millie.”
Laughter burst from Ruth’s lips. “Now that’s quite a traveling party if I ever heard of one.”
“Well, I don’t know . . . I feel bad that Ben and Marianna have chosen not to go. It does sound like a fun trip. Maybe if we all went . . .”
“Oh no, dear.” Mrs. Sommer shook her head. “The doctor in Kalispell told Marianna she needs to rest. With her spotting . . . Well, we don’t want to risk anything happening to this boppli.” Ruth placed a hand over her mouth, as if just remembering she wasn’t supposed to say anything.
“Boppli?” The word escaped with Rebecca’s breath as if someone had just punched her in the gut. “There’s a baby?”
The color drained from Ruth’s face, and she looked to Caleb—as if he could do anything to help her take back her words.
“Oh my, I thought you knew,” Ruth said. “Maybe Marianna was just worried. I mean, maybe she didn’t want to worry you. After all . . . all that you’ve been through in your family. With your sister.”
Rebecca nodded, but she didn’t know what to say. What could she say? Maybe Marianna was trying to protect her, but why would she hide such a thing from her best friend?
“How far along is she?” she dared to ask.
“Eleven weeks. The other two babies were lost during this time.”
“Other two?” The pain came unexpectedly and tears sprang to Rebecca’s eyes. Suddenly her head ached, and the voices of those playing volleyball seemed too loud. They pounded through her temples.
“I am so sorry.” Ruth’s worried eyes fixed on Rebecca’s. “I should have talked to Marianna about all of it. Marianna is a private person. Not many people know what’s happening, but you are such a close friend. I just assumed—”
“Sometimes distance does that.” Rebecca shrugged, trying to keep her tone light. “It’s not something easy to talk about over the phone, and I can see how a letter wouldn’t do it justice.”
Yet she thought about the last few days. There had been numerous chances for Marianna to spill her heart. The pain of betrayal stabbed at her. Rebecca glanced at the volleyball that sailed through the air again, far out of bounds. It veered toward the roof, hit the wooden shingles, and clattered down. Laughter followed the ball, and she again questioned what she was doing there.
Rebecca glanced at Caleb. He stood silent, unsure of what to say. What to do. From the corner of her eye Rebecca noticed Marianna settling into one of the lawn chairs. Her eyes filled with moisture, and she thought about the pain her friend must be experiencing, losing not one but two babies . . . and now having worries about the third.
Rebecca blew out a breath and turned to Caleb. “Can I think about the trip? How soon do you need to know?”
He offered a soft smile. “We’re leaving bright and early Monday morning. You wouldn’t need to bring anything but yourself. Between everyone else we have enough camping supplies. But if you need it, I can give you five, or maybe ten, minutes to decide.” He winked.
Rebecca turned to Mrs. Sommer, hoping she’d give some input. Instead the older woman motioned to the table with the cake.
“It’s getting late. I should cut the cake. I know Edgar has been waiting to taste it. Carrot cake is his favorite.”
Children ran and played around the yard, and for a moment Rebecca wished she could be one of them again. How carefree she and Marianna used to be. They’d run and played with the other children after service. They’d snuck apples from the cellar and read to each other under the covers with a flashlight that was supposed to be used for emergencies only. But now the innocent days were gone. Even though things seemed fine between them, Marianna obviously didn’t trust her. Hiding the truth about her pregnancy was proof of that. The more time spent together, the more Rebecca realized how far apart they’d grown. She couldn’t imagine awkward day following awkward day to come.
She glanced up at Caleb. “I think I’d like to go.”
Caleb didn’t respond, but a large smile filled his face. He kicked against a pinecone on the ground and then turned to her. “I’m glad you said that. The wilderness . . . Well, it’s different than back east, you know.”
She chuckled and looked back to the wooded area behind the Sommer family’s house. “Ja, I can see that. There seems to be a lot of places to explore. My little brother Claude would love it so.” Emotion filled her throat as she said her brother’s name, and she hoped Caleb didn’t notice. She turned back to him.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Caleb asked. “Being in Montana?”
“Ja, danki. Everyone is nice. I know now why the Sommer family decided to move here for good. The people here are kind.”
“Ja, I think so too.” He studied her with bright blue eyes. “They have a special kindness about them, and an element of adventure.”
“Like you?” She chuckled. “You were pretty brave encouraging me to get behind the steering wheel of that big truck. I could have run you over. More than that, I saw your diving yesterday.”
His eyes widened. “You were there?”
“Well, I might have been watching from the truck when Marianna delivered lunch.”
Caleb’s brow furrowed slightly. Then he grinned and pointed to a nearby tree. “Yeah, the shortest cliff is about as tall as the tallest tree in the cluster. Can you believe I jumped that far?”
“Ne, I can’t.” She chuckled, thinking how Caleb acted strangely similar to her twelve-year-old bruder Isaiah, especially when he was excited. “But . . . I don’t think you should do that again. Do you know if your body twisted just a little bit in the wrong direction you could break your neck and be in a wheelchair for life? I’ve read about people getting serious injuries from far less.”
“You’ve read about it? What type of reading do you do?”
Rebecca
pressed her lips together. “Ach, things here and there. You know . . .” She was trying to think of what else to say when the volleyball sailed through the air out of bounds. It bounced up onto the roof again, but instead of rolling down, this time it wedged in the place where a tree branch touched the top of the roof.
Laughter erupted, and the young people teased Charlie about his serve. Charlie was one of Marianna’s brothers, and Rebecca smiled as he teased them back. He looked about two inches taller since the last time she’d seen him, which was before the Sommer family ever left for Montana. So many changes had happened since then. Life moved on whether she liked it or not.
“Are you saying that was out of bounds?” Charlie chuckled. “Can I dispute it?” The boy, who must be nearing the age of twelve or so, waved a hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll get a ladder.”
“No need for that!” Caleb waved at him, then hurried over. “I can get it.”
As if in slow motion, Caleb climbed onto the porch railing, reached up to the roof, and then hoisted himself up as easily as if a rope were lifting him upward. Without looking back, or looking down, he stood on the roof and walked up to the ball, lifted it from the branch, and tossed it down.
Cheers arose as it rolled off the roof and Charlie caught it. Caleb then walked down the roof, sat on the edge with his legs dangling, and jumped off.
“I do think someone was showing off for you.” It was Marianna’s voice. Rebecca hadn’t realized her friend had walked over and stood next to her.
“Didn’t you say yourself that Caleb did stuff like that?”
“Ja, but I’ve never seen him look back at a young woman, ach, about four times, during a stunt.”
“I hope you don’t mind—I’ve agreed to go with him on the wagon ride.”
