by Sarah Noffke
“Not if you keep talking out loud,” she said through clenched teeth, a pleasant smile on her face.
The fae thankfully hadn’t seemed to notice. They kept staring ahead blankly as if they were counting Pop-Tarts in their head.
“So, these systems?” Rudolf prompted.
“Yes, well, we just seek to confuse our would-be thieves,” Not-Gavin Number One explained. “When the gnome enters—”
“Through an unlocked door?” Sophia queried.
He nodded. “Yes, we don’t lock our doors. So, when the gnome enters, there’s illusion magic that takes over. It makes it so all of the artifacts are duplicated to the letter of three.”
“Three is actually a number…” Sophia trailed away as she caught the confused expression on all four of the fae’s faces. “Please continue.”
“Well, the illusion spell creates exact duplicates of the artifacts,” Not-Gavin Number Two said. “That way, when the thief takes the object, they don’t know if they have the right one or something that will disappear in a few hours when they leave here.”
“Why wouldn’t you just use that power to create a security system?” Sophia knew as soon as the question left her mouth, she should learn to be quiet. All the fae looked at her like she was from planet Mars.
“Oh, Chief Officer Executive Courtney Marie Annaliese Merriweather, you understand nothing,” Rudolf taunted with a rude laugh. “That’s why you are in charge of my hand towels.”
He clapped her on the back hard, and she forced out a chuckle.
“That’s right. I couldn’t be trusted with complex systems such as this,” she agreed, pretending to be good-natured.
“Well,” Not-Gavin Number One began, holding up a finger. “If the thieves were smart, they’d know two things.”
“For one,” Not-Gavin Number Two began and leaned forward to whisper, “the real object will have some sort of special marking that separates it from the illusions.”
Sophia nodded, having witnessed Ainsley’s shapeshifting abilities and was well acquainted with how illusions worked. They could never, ever be an exact replica. It was some strange rule of magic. There had to always be a way to identify the original. For Ainsley, it was the scar on her right temple. No matter who she shapeshifted into, the scar was always there. Sophia wondered what her defining characteristic could have been before the accident.
“What’s the second thing?” Rudolf asked.
“Oh, well, we do have sirens that alert us if the real object is taken,” Not-Gavin Number Two offered. “It’s a weight system. I like that word. System.”
Not-Gavin Number One nodded. “Yeah, it’s a good word. The system makes it so if there’s any change in weight the sirens go off.”
“I thought you said there were no alarms?” Sophia asked, even as she realized trying to hash out semantics was ridiculous at this point.
“Well, we don’t have anything if the place is broken into that alerts us,” Not-Gavin Number One pronounced. “But if someone picks up an actual object, we get a message, and the siren is loud enough, it alerts the neighbors.”
“Which are?” Sophia had to ask.
“Oh, a bunch of rowdy gnomes who run the bistros nearby.” This was from Not-Gavin Number Two.
Sophia nodded. “Of course, they are.”
“Okay, well, thanks for the help, Gavin and Gavin,” Rudolf said, waving Sophia into the Fae National History Museum. “We’ll just browse around at this point. Not heading straight for the main exhibit of the most prized fae possession.”
Sophia shook her head at the king of the fae. She understood now why he had that position. With an IQ of under fifty, he was probably the smartest fae there ever was.
Chapter Ninety-Nine
“Okay, so what do you want to see first?” Rudolf asked, unfolding the map and glancing over it. “Do we want to head to the shrunken head exhibit of my ancestors who were punished by the elves for peeing in their springs or to the dinosaur exhibit that’s actually just chicken bones according to the bold print here?”
“Or we can go find the captain’s hat that belonged to Quiet’s father and find out what it’s identifying mark is,” Sophia offered.
Rudolf yawned. “That sounds super boring.” He looked back at the map. “Oh, there’s this new exhibit about a king who had triplets with a mortal. I want to hear more about that. The story sounds familiar.”
“Because it’s you since you had three babies with Serena?” Sophia dared to ask because she apparently loved headaches.
Rudolf shook his head at her. “No, Soph. That can’t be me. I had three babies, not triplets.”
Sophia sucked in a calming breath. “Right. My bad. I’m so dumb.”
“Maybe I’ll pay to send you to hand towel college after all, so you’ll have something to fall back on when this dragonrider thing falls through,” he consoled.
“Thanks,” Sophia muttered, pulling the map out of Rudolf’s hands and locating the main exhibit. The captain’s hat was located conveniently in the middle of the Fae National History Museum, through a labyrinth of stairs and displays. It would take them a good ten minutes to get there, and she was certain Rudolf would get distracted a thousand times before then.
Sophia guessed this was a thing about pretty people. They could be counted on to look nice and act nice, but when the time came to step up and be an actual member of a team, Rudolf often fell short.
“You’re thinking about the guy you’re dating right now,” Rudolf said as they passed an exhibit about how the fae once froze and starved to death, but the magicians came in and gave them meat, rescuing them. It was from last year when the magicians literally dropped off a bunch of Subway sandwiches for fae who thought an ice-skating rink was their home and didn’t know they could exit of their own free will. The magicians gave them sandwiches while they defrosted the rink so the fae would figure it out.
“I am thinking of people who irritate me,” Sophia admitted.
“Why do you think he irritates you?” Rudolf asked, thoughtfully.
“Because he breathes,” she answered quite seriously.
“And that’s a problem because you’re a necromancer who prefers the dead?”
Sophia was about to award Rudolf a hundred points for using such a big word correctly when they came to the place she was looking for. In the center of a large room was a single display platform. Sitting on a small platform was a single blue captain’s hat. It appeared very much how she pictured the hat would look on display in Quiet’s office.
Sophia thought there was something very sad about seeing the hat there. She wasn’t sure why until she read the plaque sitting next to it.
The sign read:
The hat that belonged to the famed captain who sent his ship away, leaving him stranded, to save the race of the fae. This was his most prized possession and was later used to start the fortune of the fae. Thanks to Captain Quiet McAfee, the fae lived on, prospered, and built an empire.
Then Sophia got it. Quiet had given up everything. His ship. His father’s hat. His life. And what did he get? Nothing.
He got the life of groundskeeper of the Gullington, and what was happening to him now? He was dying from some strange disease.
“I’m getting that hat for Quiet,” Sophia said adamantly to herself.
“And returning it promptly like a library book,” Rudolf finished on the heels of her statement.
“Yep,” she replied, not really hearing him. She took a step forward, studying the simple hat. “Now, what is the identifying mark? We have to find that to determine how it’s different from the duplicates that will later surround it.”
“Maybe it’s the rim,” Rudolf offered because he had cantaloupe in his brain.
The captain’s hat was blue and done in the old style with a high top and a round rim. Around the outside was gold trim, and on the top was a crest.
Sophia shook her head. “I don’t think it will be a major characteristic of the hat. I think i
t’s going to be something small.”
She was thinking of Ainsley’s scar on her temple. The identifying mark would be similar. It would be something that someone knew to look for to set the hat apart, but only slightly.
Sophia craned her head around at different angles, studying every inch of the hat. From where it was perched on the pedestal, she could see all of it except the inside.
I really hope the identifying mark isn’t inside the hat, Sophia thought. Otherwise, I’m screwed.
Then she saw something on the underside of the bill that made her heart jump. On the bottom of the back of the rim were embroidered three letters. They were simple, but they made sense to Sophia, and she knew they had to be the defining mark. Or her instinct was not to be trusted ever again.
Sophia took a mental snapshot of the initials so she could remember them later: GQM
Chapter One Hundred
Once Rudolf and Sophia exited the museum, they had to find something to occupy their time until closing.
Sophia wanted to enchant all the dimwits inside the museum to think it was time to go home, but Rudolf wouldn’t allow it. He said the theft had to be done naturally.
“But you want to return to the Gullington as fast as I do,” she argued, watching him study Fluffy the bear for signs his triplets were in danger.
Sophia knew magic well enough to know the stuffed bear wasn’t magical at all. Liv had given Rudolf a regular teddy bear and told him its emotions would emulate those of his children. The constant smile on its face wasn’t going to change, and that was for the best.
Rudolf was already a distracted puppy on this mission, looking at strange exhibits and talking to strangers every five seconds. Sophia couldn’t fathom what he’d be like if he had a stuffed bear that really showed the emotions of three infants. He thought it did, and it put his fears enough to rest that he could be sort of present with Sophia. Sophia knew Liv and Clark were taking good care of the Captains and ensuring they had everything they needed. It was a win-win for everyone as far as she was concerned.
“Do you want to go to the Louvre and steal back all the stuff that belongs to the fae?” Rudolf asked as they wandered the streets of Paris.
Sophia shook her head. “No, that sounds like a bigger mission than I’m ready for tonight and will definitely take me off task.”
He shrugged. “Fine, then we will go into this bistro and eat cheese and drink wine.”
Rudolf pushed open the door to a warm café, holding it for Sophia. She was invited in by the smells of freshly baked bread and pungent cheeses. Even though Sophia was worried about what was happening at the Gullington, she allowed herself to nestle into a corner booth and talked into enjoying a glass of wine. Lunis would let her know if anything happened.
Yes, she was on a mission, and things were tense, but there was nothing for her to do until the Fae National History Museum closed. Then she’d get the hat, which didn’t seem like such a big problem, return to the Gullington, save the groundskeeper and return everything to normal. Easy peasy, she thought.
“You haven’t touched your camembert,” Rudolf said, getting her attention. “Can I have it?”
Sophia hadn’t realized she had been staring off. “Yeah, go ahead.”
Rudolf grabbed her cheese, taking it in one bite. “Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”
Why was it everyone seemed to know she was dealing with something of a personal nature and wanted to comment on it? Mama Jamba, Mae Ling, Liv, and now Rudolf. As far as expert sources went, these were pretty good ones, but she was tired of advice. She just wanted to keep her head down, do her job, and forget she had a heart. Let the wind whirl uncontrollably around the Gullington. What did she care?
She shook her head at Rudolf. “Not with you.”
Sophia covered her face after seeing Rudolf’s reaction. He might not have a brain, but he had a heart. “I’m sorry. It’s just that, I think…well, I think I have to rethink some things.”
“Why would you need to do that?” Rudolf asked between bites.
“Because the heart is often wrong,” Sophia said, feeling around in her cloak, and looking for that damn pocketknife. She must have misplaced it. The knife had to be on her. She didn’t drop it. Even if she had… It was an accident, and accidents didn’t mean feelings or anything else. They just meant she was a dumb klutz who needed to keep better control over her possessions.
“So how are we going to break into the Fae National History Museum?” Rudolf asked, finishing his glass of wine.
She shook her head at him and scooted her own glass in his direction, encouraging him to drink it. “We don’t have to. Remember, there are no wards keeping us out. We just waltz in and figure out which hat is ours.”
The fact the fae used illusions as a security device was smart and dumb. Safeguarding things with extra measures would have been brilliant. But not doing so meant the fae were…well not smart.
“Can I give you some advice?” Rudolf asked out of nowhere, pulling Sophia’s focus from her thoughts.
She jerked her head up. She’d just hurt his feelings and didn’t want to see that look on his face again. “Yeah, what’s that?”
He finished her glass of wine and wiped his mouth. “Here’s something it took me many hundreds of years to understand. The heart wants what the head doesn’t. And vice versa.”
She was right; no advice was for the best. Sophia deflated, not feeling as good as she thought she would after being given advice by a regal source. He was the king of the fae, and most people around the world would consider him knowledgeable. Sophia knew the truth, and maybe that’s why his advice fell flat.
“Thanks,” she said, wishing she had heard something that would make things right. Or easy. Or have it all go away.
“Oh, Soph.” Rudolf sounded crestfallen. “Don’t look so sad. I promised you long ago I’d never let you down—”
“You never promised me that,” she interrupted him.
Rudolf nodded. “And I promised that any man who broke your heart—”
Sophia held up her hand, stopping him. “No, you didn’t. And I don’t want your help, or anyone else’s with my personal matters. I don’t know where everyone got the idea I needed help. What I really need is a friend.” She looked around, suddenly lost. “Are there any friends who can help me out here?” she asked.
Rudolf lifted the tiny arm of Fluffy the bear, and in a small voice, he said, “I can help.”
A smile cracked on Sophia’s face. “Thanks. That’s the kind of help I need.”
Chapter One Hundred One
“Okay, friend,” Rudolf said, looking at Sophia in the waning sunlight as Paris grew dark around them. “Ready to storm the Castle?”
She couldn’t help but smile at him. He was silly and dumb, and so very sweet. She nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
They waited until the receptionist exited the Fae National History Museum, not locking up as she trotted down the stairs. When she was out of sight, Sophia and the king of the fae ran out of the shadows and straight for the doors.
It was still a shock to Sophia when they yanked back the doors to a national museum, and there was no alarm. She felt like someone needed to rescue the fae from themselves, but they’d lasted this long on their own, so she figured they knew more than the rest of them. At least they had survived with their good looks.
“Okay, you know where to go,” Sophia said, looking back at Rudolf.
He nodded. “To the bathroom.”
She shot him a murderous expression.
“What? I drank all that wine,” he complained, doing a pee dance.
She shook her head and pointed to the bathrooms, figuring the slight detour couldn’t hurt since there were literally no guards or real security measures in the place.
Rudolf ran for the bathrooms, and Sophia allowed her attention to be pulled forward.
At night, the beautiful building was a menagerie of colors. The lights strobed on the walls a
nd floors, creating different patterns.
Sophia stopped in the middle of the main room. She was in an exhibit of how the first fae enchanted the first person who ever fell in love with them. The scene was of a party with elegantly dressed guests standing around. The music playing overhead was intoxicating, and the lights made it feel like a ballroom. On the walls were a spiral of party guests all staring at Sophia as if waiting for her to take her place at the dance.
She found herself bowing to the imaginary guests. “Why, yes, thank you. I’m happy to be here.”
She curtseyed, realizing she’d never been an adult at a real party. What would that be like? she wondered, and wished she was wearing a real ball gown.
She turned to find a man’s hand extended to her. Sophia brought her eyes up to find Rudolf looking at her with a handsome smile.
“Can I have this dance, princess?” he asked.
She found herself blushing. “I wasn’t really…”
He shook his head. “Why do you think it’s so wrong that you, a woman, would want a prince to ask you to dance?”
She didn’t know what to say, so as usual, she said nothing.
He took her hand and continued to smile. “Now I’m not a prince and not available, but the question still remains. I have more advice you didn’t want earlier, but that still remains true.”
Rudolf, for being a dimwit with a head full of watermelon, was an incredible dancer. He led Sophia in dance, making her feel light as a feather on her feet. She forgot where she was or that the world was a crazy place, or the Gullington was in danger. It all fell away as the music rose up, and the beat swallowed her whole.
“Sophia,” Rudolf continued a few minutes later as if no time had passed since he last spoke. “As I was saying. Only allow a real prince to take your hand. No matter what, you always get the choice. Even if you feel fate is directing your path, please remember that princesses always get to choose their prince. No matter what. You should never feel rushed into anything. Know that, my princess.”
