A Mother's Heart (Sweet Hearts of Sweet Creek Book 6)

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “Did you have a good lunch with your mother and Cory?” Claire asked in the silence that followed Emma’s departure.

  “I think I’m getting the hang of this being a brother and a son.”

  “I think you’ll be good at it,” Claire said.

  “I hope so, too,” Nik said his eyes steady.

  Another silence fell and a soft question floated into Claire’s mind.

  Could he get the hang of being a husband and father?

  The question rose, and finally settled.

  His gaze wore at her thin veneer of resistance. When he cupped her face in his rough hand, his fingers caressing her cheek, her pulse spiked.

  She wondered for a moment if he would kiss her. He took a step forward, leaning closer. Her breath disappeared as expectation and anticipation swelled between them.

  Then the door of the house flew open and Emma was back, her energy and enthusiasm shattering the moment.

  Nik jumped back, and Claire looked away. Like a bunch of teenagers caught by their parents.

  She glanced over at Nik surprised to see him smiling. Was he thinking the same thing?

  “I found my glove, now we can play?” Emma called out. “Mom, you go stand by the house, Nik, you go to the fence and I’ll stand by the flower bed.”

  Nik saluted, and they each took their respective places, Mooch bounding from one to the other.

  “Mooch. Sit.”

  Claire and Nik spoke at exactly the same time then laughed as Mooch did what they’d told him.

  “See? Mooch listens really good,” Emma said.

  They lobbed the ball back and forth, Nik coaching Emma on how to hold her glove and how to throw. Slowly she got the hang of it. Mooch stayed where he was, clearly intimidated by the command from both Nik and Claire. But he whined as his head followed the ball.

  “I think Mooch really wants to play,” Emma said, patting him on the head.

  The dog took that as permission to get up and when Claire threw the ball to Emma, Mooch jumped into the air, caught it in his mouth and took off.

  “Mooch, come back,” Emma called out.

  “Get back here, you silly dog,” Nik yelled at the same time.

  They took off after the dog, but he swerved, easily avoiding them. Nik cornered him by his trailer but Mooch ran around the back and came out between it and the flower bed and headed directly toward Claire, with Nik and Emma in pursuit. Mooch ran into Claire just as Nik tackled him. Emma ran into Nik, putting him off balance and everyone ended up in a jumbled heap on the grass.

  Mooch squirmed away, leaving Emma on top of Claire, whose arm was pinned under Nik.

  Claire laughed and was soon joined by Emma and Nik. Then Mooch, as if sensing he was missing something, returned, licking all their faces which made them laugh harder.

  Finally, Nik rose, resting on one elbow, gently moving Claire’s arm out from under him. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his grin fading, but staying where he was, his head silhouetted against the blue, blue sky. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said still chuckling, holding his eyes, her heartbeat ticking upward.

  “I’m okay, too,” Emma put in, scooching up, sitting cross-legged on the grass.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Nik said, his eyes flicking to hers but returning to Claire’s.

  She felt pinned to the ground. As if his eyes held her there. She didn’t want to move or look away.

  The moment grew and expanded, obliterating everything around them. Creating a bubble holding only them.

  “Are you going to kiss my mommy again?” Emma teased.

  The bubble burst.

  “Again?” Claire asked, struggling to sit up, the magic doused by the reality of what Emma had just said. “What are you talking about?” She fought to keep her tone light, as if Emma might have been mistaken.

  “I saw you. You and Nik. Kissing in the living room.” Emma pressed her hands to her chest in a dramatic gesture. “That made me so, so happy.”

  Claire shot a glance Nik’s way to gauge his reaction and, to her surprise, he was smiling.

  He stood then extended a hand to Claire. She shot him a warning look but took his hand. Once she was upright, he didn’t let go. Instead, he gave her hand a little, teasing tug.

  “I think we could give Emma what she wants,” he said, his tone low, intimate.

  The smoldering in his eyes made her breath hitch in her throat. She swallowed, about to make a feeble protest but then his head obliterated the sky and his lips touched hers. It was the briefest of contacts. Hardly even a kiss. But her mouth burned and her heart raced in her chest.

  And then, before she could stop herself, she leaned in and kissed him back. His mouth was soft, warm and his arm came around her waist, pulling her close to him. For the space of a heartbeat they clung to each other.

  Then he pulled away, plucking a couple of blades of grass out of her hair, tossing them aside. “There. Now you’re all better.”

  She couldn’t believe how casual he was. How easily he’d given in to Emma’s request. And how unselfconscious he was. He looked as if kissing her in front of her daughter was the most natural thing in the world.

  She struggled with the implications of it all but as she held his gaze the hope smoldering in Claire’s heart grew.

  Chapter 10

  Nik brushed the grass off his clothes, his eyes locked on Claire. Hundreds of thoughts chased themselves though his mind but one clear thought was uppermost.

  He had kissed Claire in front of her daughter.

  And he didn’t regret it at all.

  “So, are we still playing?” Emma called out. “I got the ball.”

  Nik dragged his gaze from Claire and looked over to Emma. Sure enough she held the baseball between two fingers, pulling a face of disgust. “It’s kind of wet though.”

  “Then maybe we should let it dry out,” Nik said. Holding a ball full of dog slobber held no appeal.

  “You okay?” he asked, looking back at Claire, pleased to see her smiling.

  “Yeah. Fine.”

  “Really? Cause I am. I truly am. Just in case you were wondering.” He hoped she understood what he was trying to say. Maybe he was jumping ahead but the past few days had changed so much. Being with Claire and Emma at the picnic had felt so right. As had sitting with them in church.

  And this afternoon, visiting with his mother and sister and future brother-in-law had given him a glimpse of the other possibilities that lay here in Sweet Creek.

  He wasn’t sure if Claire felt the same about him as he did about her.

  Would she have kissed you back if she didn’t?

  But even as these thoughts slipped through his mind he looked at the house behind her and a shadow slid over the day.

  “Where are you?” Claire asked. She must have seen how his expression changed. "Reliving memories?"

  “Yeah. Sorry.” He shook his head as if trying to dislodge them.

  Then, to his surprise, Claire lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. “I pray that someday they will ease.”

  At her touch, he felt as if that was happening already.

  “I hope so too,” Nik said. “Though visiting with my mother helped.”

  “Are you finding your way through to forgiving her?”

  Nik tested that idea a moment, looking past Claire to Emma, who had given up on them and was now throwing the ball for Mooch to fetch.

  “I had an interesting conversation with her,” he said, resting his hands on his hips, pulling in a long breath. “She wanted to know about my life after I was moved out of the Jensen’s home. It was a tough moment.”

  “Did you tell her?”

  “I wanted to. I thought of all that had happened here but then…” his voice drifted as he looked back at the house, walking toward it. He rested his hand against the post supporting the roof over the porch, running his fingers over the rough wood. It was still there.

  “You look like you’re remembering s
omething,” Claire said, sitting on the steps of the porch.

  “I remember this dent here,” he said, running his finger back and forth over it. “My foster father was angry with me because I mouthed him off. He grabbed a flipper from the barbecue and came at me. I ducked, he missed, hit this post and I took off. I laid low for the rest of the day, wandering around town hoping he was gone or passed out when I got back.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He sat down beside her, watching Emma wrestle with Mooch.

  “Being with my mother made me realize telling her wouldn’t change anything,” he said, his voice quiet. “Something the pastor said this morning stuck with me. How a mother’s love can take different forms. How it’s not always about hugs and kisses. How love can be about making hard choices.” He released another sigh, remembering the sorrow on his mother’s face. The glisten of tears in her eyes. Again. “I actually felt sorry for her this afternoon.”

  “That’s a good place to start.”

  “I know. It’s like each time I see her, listen to her, spend time with her, I come around to another place in my journey with her. It’s like a spiral that gets tighter and tighter and with each revolution, I get a little closer to her and a little further from my emotions. It took a few years to get to this point but for the first time in a long time I realized that it wasn’t her fault I ended up here. In this house. With that family.”

  Claire’s eyes locked onto his and she gave him a tender smile. “That’s a journey that was worth taking.”

  “I know. I’m so glad I came here.” And he returned her smile, his soul filled by just sitting beside this amazing woman. “And I’m thankful I met you. And Emma.”

  “Me too.” Her response warmed his heart.

  She looked past him her expression shifting, a faint frown creasing her forehead.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

  “My own remembrances of this place.” She leaned back against the other post, pulling her knees up close and hugging them with her arms.

  “Which ones are you pulling out?”

  She shook her head, giving him a melancholy smile. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to trivialize what you just told me.”

  “I was only sharing my particular memory. You have your own that are as legitimate as mine. So tell me.”

  She smiled, her eyes growing bright as if slipping back to another time. “I remember Tess and me climbing up on this porch roof with a blanket, a bottle of water and a bag of cookies we had filched from the kitchen.”

  “So you’re telling me I’m sitting with a thief?” Nik teased, wanting to lighten the mood that had clung to him.

  “The worst kind. The kind that steals from her own mother.” Claire’s smile grew as she settled back. “We would do that often. Sometimes we would pretend we were princesses stuck in a tower, waiting for our prince to rescue us until it got too hot and then we would decamp and slither down that post behind you. We always pleaded with our parents to let us sleep on the roof. For some reason they always said no.” She chuckled at the memory and he joined in.

  “Those are good things to remember.”

  “And they are part of this house too,” she said, looking away from him, as if unwilling to see his reaction.

  “I suppose,” he said. “I wish I could have experienced some of that.”

  As soon as he spoke he wished he could take the words back. He sounded as if he were feeling sorry for himself.

  “I also wish this house had better memories for you.”

  Nik looked back, struggling yet with his mixed emotions. “I do too." It was all he could tell her.

  And yet his mind ticked back to kissing her in the living room. An event which, they had just discovered, Emma had witnessed.

  He looked over at Claire again, their eyes meeting. Four feet separated them, but the connection was so strong it felt like inches.

  Stay.

  The single word eased like a sigh into his confused mind, settling feather-light yet carrying a weight of peace.

  Stay.

  Again, he looked back at Claire, a woman who had her own struggles and demons to wrestle. Who’d come out strong and in charge of her life. A mother who took care of her child. Who would do anything for her. Someone who not only knew what the words “Mother” and “Faithful” were, but who lived them.

  Stay.

  Could he?

  Did he seriously think he could leave feeling the way he did about Claire? About Emma?

  “You’re humming.” Tess looked up from the industrial dishwasher as she loaded the last of the dishes, grinning at Claire. “It’s been a long, busy day, and you’re still humming.

  “Am I humming?” Claire adjusted her bandanna, wrung out a cloth and wiped down the countertop.

  “Loudly and cheerfully,” Tess said as she closed the large metal door. “Too cheerfully for someone who is working, I might add. Does this have anything to do with spending all day Sunday with Nik?”

  “Not the whole day.” Claire couldn’t stop the faint flush warming her neck and turned away so Tess couldn’t catch it and start her standard cross-examination of Claire post-date.

  She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk more about him to Tess. Her feelings for Nik were deepening. With each kiss he gave her hope grew. “Did he give you lots of smooches?” Tess asked, hitting the button.

  “I don't smooch and tell,” Claire said, too late realizing how prim she sounded.

  “Since when?” Tess scoffed, turning back to her sister. “I always got to hear the low down on kissability and scoring of said kissability.”

  “Well, I’m not about to score Nik.” Claire stirred up the dough, her movements quick and decisive.

  “So, you did kiss him.”

  Caught.

  “And?” Tess wouldn’t leave it alone.

  “It was nice.” Claire continued wiping. “And that’s all I’m telling you.”

  “Was Emma there?” Tess’ voice grew serious and Claire glanced across the kitchen to catch her sister’s now-somber gaze.

  “Yes. She was. And I don't need the lecture about being responsible with my daughter. I know what’s at stake. So does Nik.”

  “I know you do. So I'm thinking things must be getting serious.”

  Claire blinked as she stared down at the cloth. “They are.”

  “You sound confused.”

  “I am. A little. He’s a wonderful guy and he cares about Emma and he likes me. He even puts up with Mooch.”

  “All in his favor. I don’t even like that mutt.”

  Claire wasn’t sure if she dared venture down the next part, but Nik’s comment allowed a glimmer of hope to grow within her. “And as far as the house goes, I think he’s coming around.”

  “Why is that so important to you? It’s just a house.”

  “You know it’s more than just a house,” Claire said. “I’ve always seen it as a way to take care of Emma. As a way of connecting with my past.”

  “Could it be that you’re making too much of that house, too?” Tess asked.

  “Maybe, but it would mean so much if he would understand what that house means to me.”

  “I understand, but you could switch that around too,” Tess said, sounding imminently reasonable.

  Claire held that thought a moment then shook her head as all Nik’s motivations and reasons for his actions tumbled back. “He has a deeper, darker reason for tearing that house down. Some horrible things happened to him there. Abuse, neglect at the hands of the foster parents he had then. He thinks if he gets rid of the house those memories and pain will go away and that concerns me.”

  “Why?”

  “To me it shows how deeply he’s still stuck in the past. And if he can’t get over that, what kind of relationship could we have?”

  Tess nodded, as if understanding what her sister was saying.

  Claire took a breath, winding the still-damp cloth around her hands. “Besides, he’s not b
uilding another house there. He wants to put up a fourplex.”

  The look of shock on Tessa’s face gave Claire more ammunition for her reactions to Nik’s plan.

  “That would be criminal,” Tess said.

  “I agree. It’s a gorgeous property, and I know the yard is huge, but if he built the fourplex there, it would take over the whole yard. So that was one of the other reasons I wasn’t happy what he wants to do.”

  Tess tapped finger on her lower lip. “So you think he still might do that?”

  Claire shook her head. “I hope not. He knows how much that house means to me and Emma. And if… if things change enough between us, I had hoped…” she let the sentence trail off, unwilling to vocalize the wish that glowed deep in her soul.

  “Hoped that the three of you could live there,” Tess said, finishing the thought.

  Claire wasn’t sure she dared voice her dreams yet.

  “And what about his relationship with his mother? Has he made peace with her yet?” Tess asked.

  “He visited her yesterday after church, and he seemed happy when he came back.” Claire rinsed the cloth and wrung it out once more then tossed it into the laundry bin. “I think things are moving in the right direction between him and Joyce.”

  “So, things seem to be falling into place for you as well?”

  Claire untied her apron and tossed it into the laundry bin. “I feel like they are, and yet there’s a part of me that is still afraid.”

  “I don’t blame you. It’s hard to trust when trust has been broken. Even if the person you care for wasn’t the one who caused that to happen.”

  Claire’s expression grew serious as she looked at her sister. “And you and Jace are okay?”

  Tess looked down at the sparkling ring on her finger and released a gentle smile. “We are more than okay. And I’m not worried about the future. Jace is a good man and I know he will take care of me.”

  “You two have been through a lot, too,” Claire said. “Getting past what Carson MacGregor did to you can’t be easy. Especially because he was Jace’s boss at one time.”

  Tess tapped her fingers on the counter, frowning. “It hasn’t been easy but I feel like I should let you know, Jace told me last night that two other women are filing sexual assault charges against Carson. I… I asked if I should join the suit. Jason said it was my call. I’m not sure I want to dredge up all that stuff again. I feel like I plowed through that dark valley and came up the other side stronger. To be a part of this suit might drag me back there. But I don’t think I should leave those girls on their own.”