Engage (Disciples' Daughters Book 3)

by Drew Elyse

  “Mom and Dad were great. She was a stay-at-home mom, mostly. But she’d gone to school for accounting. Dad owned his own construction business. She did the accounts for it, but she was all set up to do that at the house so she was home with us. They loved each other, and us. They were happy. We all were.

  “Jamie was a lot like Emmy. She had so much personality. She always said exactly what was on her mind. And she was always smiling.”

  Fuck, it killed to talk about this.

  “You loved her,” Ember summed it up.

  “I loved her,” I agreed. “She always wanted to be around me. Some girls are daddy’s girls, but Jamie, she was all about her brother. It never bothered me, her following me around or wanting me to play with her. Maybe I got irritated once in a while, but I never wanted to change that.

  “I was sixteen when it happened. Dad was having trouble with one of the guys on his crew. I heard him talking to Mom about it for a couple weeks. Asshole was showing up late or missing days altogether. When he did show, he was hungover. Then, he showed one day, after two days being MIA, and came to the site drunk. Dad was done. The fucker was finally there and it wasn’t safe for him to work with any of the equipment. Dad laid him off. He didn’t like doing it. He was a good guy, he didn’t want to fire anyone, but that shit couldn’t go on.”

  I took a minute to breathe. Getting out the next part was the real battle.

  “That asshole didn’t take getting canned as a wakeup call to sort his shit. He hit the bottle, and he hit it pissed at Dad for his own fuck ups. He came to the house in the middle of the night and started a fire.”

  I could feel Ember’s body was tense, her breathing shallow. Her hands were gripping onto me tight. All of this registered distantly against the horrific images coming back to me.

  “He tried to claim later he just meant to damage the house and scare us, but he doused the fucking thing in gas. He spread that shit all around the exterior, and then he popped open a window to spray it inside before he lit it. The house was engulfed fast. Too fast.

  “The smoke detector woke me. I don’t know whether we slept through it or it didn’t go off right away. Might not have been either. Might just be that was how fast the house went up. I remember there was already so much smoke. I could see the fire downstairs as soon as I left my room. I started to run to Jamie’s room, but Dad was already in the hall. He told me to run. To get out. He’d get Mom and Jamie out.

  “I didn’t want to leave them, but I knew he was wasting time yelling at me, so I did. I ran. Got out right before the second floor collapsed.”

  Her breath hitched and I pulled her in tighter, even though I worried I was holding her too hard.

  “I lost them all. Mom and Dad didn’t even make it to the hospital. Jamie did. They had to put her in a coma. They did what they could, but her little body just couldn’t take it. The burns were too extensive—”

  My voice broke thinking of her small frame in the big hospital bed. All the tubes and wires hooked up to machines that dwarfed her even more. I remembered the beeping of her heartbeat only sustained by technology making it so.

  I remembered the last beeps of her heart fading away.

  Ember adjusted until she was on top of me, practically wrapped around me. I felt the wet on her cheeks when she buried her face in my neck.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  I clutched her to me. All over me was her warmth, her softness. It broke through the haunting feeling of the scalding heat, the ashes clinging to my skin. Her tears ran down my neck and for the first time since that horrific fucking night, it felt like she was making me clean.

  Fuck.

  Ember.

  I held her a long time, letting her weight keep me from sinking into the memories. She cried her tears for my family, for what I lost. Somehow, it felt like her tears were the release I’d needed for too fucking long.

  When her tears ran their course, she broke the silence.

  “What happened to him?” she asked. Even with her voice low, I could hear it. She wanted vengeance for the people I loved, who she’d never met.

  “He got life. Judge didn’t buy his bullshit about not meaning to hurt anyone. Threw the fuckin’ book at him,” I told her some of it.

  “He deserves so much worse,” she seethed.

  “He’s dead.”

  I didn’t tell her I organized it. I didn’t tell her I made contacts at that prison, greased palms. I didn’t tell her he knew in his last fucking moments I made it happen.

  “Good.”

  I didn’t respond to that. It was good. It was the best fucking night of sleep I’d gotten since that day. Getting my revenge took seven years, but knowing that motherfucker bled out in slow agony because I made it so was worth the wait.

  And as I held Ember, who had so much emotion over my pain, I knew I would stop at fucking nothing until she knew the same vengeance. No matter what it took, I was going to find that cunt Yeltz, and I was going to make him suffer for what he’d done to her.

  There was nothing that could stop me. Not even Kuznetsov. His shitty soldiers got Yeltz first, I’d burn that bullshit operation of his to the ground to get the prick. I didn’t give a fuck.

  In the morning, I was getting back to hunting him down. It was my top priority.

  For the night, there wasn’t a fucking thing on earth that could get me to move from where I was. Especially not when Ember spoke again, cementing with two words that I had made the best fucking decision of my life.

  “Thank you,” was all she said.

  She was thanking me for giving her all of that, for burdening her with that horror because she knew what it meant for me to share. She wanted to take it on so she could truly have all of me.

  “She’d make it all feel worth it. She’d make it feel like that weight isn’t so damn heavy. You just gotta open that door for her.”

  My brother was so fucking right.

  “My Ember.”

  Her arms tightened harder. Her agreement.

  She was mine.

  I woke in the middle of the night like I did every night.

  This time, though, I couldn’t shoot to sitting. Jager was beside me, his arms locked around my torso, keeping me still. He was awake by the time I looked to him, his eyes stormy.

  We’d eventually risen from the bed earlier, knowing my dad would be home at some point. There was going to have to be some discussion with Dad about the state of play between Jager and me, and out of respect, that conversation shouldn’t wait. However, it didn’t need to be while Jager and I were still naked in my bed. It also didn’t need to happen when we were both still raw from Jager telling me about losing his family.

  Because of that, Jager suggested we go to his apartment for the night.

  I’d agreed on the spot. “Just let me call Dad and make sure he’s good with watching Roscoe,” I’d added.

  Jager, who had been pulling on his shirt, gave me a puzzled look I didn’t understand until he’d said, “Why? Just bring him.”

  “You’re okay with him being at your place?”

  “Babe, you keeping that dog?”

  I’d had no idea why he would ask that, so I’d answered, “Of course I am.”

  “I’m not making a habit of sleeping here with you. This is Roadrunner’s house. I respect my brother enough not to be fuckin’ his daughter in his house all the damn time. You having to bring your dog isn’t much of a concession to have you in my bed.”

  Well, I’d thought, that was that then.

  Then, he’d gone on. “Besides, I like dogs. Got no problem having one around.”

  Evidence was suggesting Jager could be really sweet when he let me in enough to see it.

  We’d loaded up, me riding in my car behind Jager’s bike with Roscoe, a bag of clothes and “shit” Jager demanded I pack and supplies for my dog.

  All that led to being in Jager’s bed, waking from another nightmare.

  “You’re safe,” Jager said in a quiet but
firm way.

  “I know,” I responded.

  “Talk to me,” he requested.

  I felt my pulse pick up and tried to divert him. “You already know what happened.”

  “Gotta get it out,” he replied.

  “There’s nothing to say. It’s just all of it. Waking up with them in my room, being in that cell.” I shook my head, trying to fight the images that wanted to keep control of my head.

  “Tell me what’s really getting to you, Ember,” he pushed.

  “Jager,” I tried.

  “Baby,” he insisted, “tell me.”

  “I was kidnapped!” I snapped. “I’m allowed to struggle after that!”

  “You are, but you need to talk to me about what’s keeping it fresh for you.”

  “All of it,” I told him.

  My heart was pounding. My mouth dry.

  He needed to stop.

  “Tell me,” he reiterated.

  “She was just a kid!” I let fly. “She was only fifteen and she was in that place! And there was a woman my age who was sold to them. By her own family. I had the club to get me out of there. They had no one!”

  He tightened his hold on me, pressing me into his chest. “We’ll find them. We’ll get them out if we can.”

  I shook my head, knowing he could feel it. “It’s too late. Who knows who they were sold to.”

  “We’ll find them,” Jager repeated.

  I didn’t know how I could believe that, but there was a vow in his tone. While I wanted to push, I figured I was going to get served the “club business” line I’d heard since I was a kid. As a Disciple, I knew there were going to be things Jager couldn’t and wouldn’t tell me. I just didn’t want to confront that issue so soon.

  “Okay,” I gave in.

  “I know you aren’t ready to believe that,” Jager called out the truth, “but I’ll prove it.”

  There was more there than this one promise. He was talking about us. He was talking about proving I’d made the right choice by letting him in.

  “Okay.” That time, it wasn’t resigning.

  He gave me a squeeze of approval. “Try to get some more sleep, babe. I’m right here.”

  I did as he said, letting the comfort of his arms lull me back to sleep.

  My nightmares didn’t wake me again.

  I dialed for the second time, my anxiety mounting. Ringing filled my ear, paused, started again. Four rings and then the voicemail picked up.

  At the beep, I did as instructed and left my message.

  “Dammit, Slick! Answer your damn phone! Your wife is in labor!” I half-screeched down the line before hanging up.

  I walked back into the living room where Deni was doing that weird hee-hee-hoo breathing they make pregnant women do. She looked at me expectantly and I bit my lip as I shook my head.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she snapped. “He’s barely let me out of his sight for more than a month and now the moment has arrived and he’s not answering!”

  I didn’t really know how to respond since she’d said it all. I knew the guys were in church, but Slick had said he’d have his phone on him anyway. He’d said all the guys agreed having a wife past her due date was reason to break the rules.

  Perhaps he was wrong.

  Deni released a groan of pain and clutched her belly. Another contraction. I looked at my phone. That was four minutes.

  It was time to try something else. Not bothering to leave the room, I dialed Dad. No answer. Then Jager, Stone, Doc. Nothing. Everyone’s phone but Slick’s were actually off. I gave up on the phone, so frustrated I wanted to chuck it across the room.

  Deni was still heeing and hooing. I needed to get myself together. I wasn’t the one having a baby. She was the only person here with the right to freak out.

  “You’re maintaining four minutes apart. Do we need to call the doctor?” I asked.

  She nodded in time to her breathing. “Number is on the fridge,” she told me.

  I headed that way, grabbed the paper from the fridge that read “Baby Numbers” at the top, and started dialing her OB.

  Before I could place the call, I heard the front door open. Not even a second later, Deni’s voice filled the house.

  “Why weren’t you answering your phone?” she shrieked.

  Well, Slick was home.

  “Saw Ember calling and took off,” he answered. He obviously surmised the situation and asked, “How far apart are they?”

  “Four minutes.”

  I went back to the living room to see the door still wide open and Slick on his phone. Seemed he didn’t need the “Baby Numbers” note to get the number. I wondered for a second whether it was programmed in his phone or he’d just memorized it.

  I was guessing both.

  “Ember, can you get Jules up from her nap and make sure she’s ready to go?” Deni asked.

  “Of course,” I said, hopping to the task.

  As I moved to the stairs, Slick covered the phone and said, “There’s a diaper bag all packed up in the closet.”

  Right. I got about taking over Jules duty so Mom and Dad could focus on the new baby finally making his arrival.

  It took under twenty minutes before we were all out the door. The doctor had instructed Slick to bring Deni in, so he set about doing that. I got a very sleepy Jules changed and all set to welcome her little brother into the world. For the first time, it really occurred to me that Deni and Slick were about to have a newborn in the house when their daughter wasn’t even potty trained yet.

  It sounded like utter madness to me, but they both seemed blissfully happy.

  Slick had everything ready for this eventuality. There was a duffle packed for Deni, the diaper bag fully loaded for Jules, he even had an insulated bag in the fridge already filled up to keep Jules fed if things went long. All he needed to do was slip an icepack inside.

  I supposed if you were going to have two kids that close, it was good to do it with a man who was on top of things.

  When we got to the hospital, I assured them both I was good with Jules while they were escorted to a room. So, I was sitting in the waiting room alone with a little girl nodding off in my lap when Cami arrived with Levi.

  “Here we go again,” she said by way of greeting. I hadn’t been around for Jules’ birth, but knew Disciple births were a club affair.

  This was proven to be true half an hour later when Doc came in, followed by Stone, Gauge, Tank, Daz, Sketch, Ham, and Dad. I kept my eyes on the door as they all walked our way, but neither Jager or Ace came in.

  There were greetings, questions about any updates, and a brief round of betting over how long it would take for the little guy to make his way out. I put a measly ten bucks on two and a half hours and caught shit from Daz about my pathetic bet. He threw down three hundred on five hours.

  Priority number one for the day was Deni and her boy coming out of things healthy. But, seriously, if they could take any amount of time but five hours, I’d love them even more.

  Ash arrived with Emmy just after the betting ended. She went right to her husband, who stood to give both his girls a kiss before taking Emmy.

  “Any news?” she asked the room.

  “Not yet,” I answered. “We haven’t been here long.”

  “Good. I didn’t want to miss anything, but I needed to get Emmy something to eat and pack up some stuff to keep her busy before we could leave.”

  Emmy was already seated, digging into a pink backpack and coming out with a coloring book and crayons. From what I could tell, that bag was filled with everything a four-year-old girl could need.

  I took it all in. The big, burly group of bikers taking up the waiting room, getting more than a few nervous glances from hospital staff and visitors alike. Not one of our party cared, though. Those people didn’t factor. All that mattered was the Disciples welcoming a new baby to the family.

  I checked my phone, wondering if Jager had sent a text I hadn’t noticed, but there was nothing
. Neither him nor Ace had showed yet. I started to worry. What if that anger Jager swept into Dad’s house with last night hadn’t died? What if, wherever he and Ace were, it was breaking free again?

  I went to Dad and immediately demanded, “Where are they?”

  He started at my demand, then replied, “Club business, Ber-bear. Can’t tell you.”

  Of course.

  I already knew between Dad and Jager—not to mention just being around all the guys—I was going to get really freaking sick of that phrase.

  “Dad, seriously. You guys can’t just let them fight,” I snapped.

  Now, he looked confused. “What are you talkin’ about?”

  Oh, well. Maybe they weren’t fighting.

  Crap.

  “Um…nothing,” I tried, like that was going to work.

  “Ember,” Dad warned.

  What was it about a parent saying your name the right way that made you feel like a child?

  “It’s nothing. Really. I was just worried.”

  “Why would you assume they’d fight?” he asked straight out.

  I couldn’t lie. I wanted to, but he’d know. “Ace said something yesterday. I didn’t know Jager was there, but he heard it, he also didn’t like it.”

  “Jesus,” he sighed, “tell me you aren’t starting something with Ace.”

  “Dad!” I snapped.

  “Ember, I’m not fucking around. Tell me you aren’t.”

  “I’m not!”

  “Thank Christ,” he muttered.

  “I’m not just going to jump around between the brothers.”

  “Baby, you reconsider that, you call me. Yeah?” Daz called.

  I turned my head, realizing our conversation getting heated also meant it got louder. So, naturally, the nosey bikers and biker broads were all listening.

  Tank wasted no time shoving Daz. “Shut up, dick.”

  My attention went back to Dad, but I took care to keep my voice down. It wouldn’t matter. We already had everyone’s attention. And anyway, they’d all know soon either way.

  “I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but Jager and I are together. As in, together. That’s why I left last night. We were…working things out.”