Secret Agent Grandma

by R. L. Stine

  Grandma eyes you suspiciously. “Hmm,” she murmurs.

  But she heads for the garage.

  You follow right behind her, with your fingers crossed.

  Grandma enters the dark garage. You hold your breath.

  “Eeeeyah!” Sophie shrieks and leaps down from a stack of cartons. She lands right on top of Grandma.

  Andrew hurls himself onto the struggling pair. Sophie squeezes out from under Grandma and Andrew. Andrew wraps Grandma in your badminton net as they roll over and over.

  You rush over. You and Sophie hold Grandma as Andrew wiggles out of the net.

  Grandma stops struggling. “You never would have gotten away with this if it weren’t for this dinky human disguise!” she snarls. “You humans are so weak.”

  You drape your bicycle chain around her and snap the lock shut. “But we got the best of you!” you retort.

  Turn to PAGE 36.

  “We’ll keep an eye on the eggs for you,” you tell Special Agent Bendrey.

  He gives a sharp nod. “Good. You should be safe if you act like you believe that woman is your real grandma,” he assures you. Then he takes off down the street.

  “Wait!” you call after him. He never told you what you’re supposed to do if the eggs hatch! But he’s gone.

  You, Sophie, and Andrew spend the rest of the afternoon up in your room. You take turns peering down at the garden.

  “Still nothing,” Sophie grumbles. “This is boring.”

  “Maybe it all ties in with the meteor shower tonight,” you suggest. “We’ll go downstairs right before it begins.”

  Later that evening, the three of you sneak out to the garden. Grandma is in the living room, watching TV.

  You flick on your flashlights.

  “Do we have our weapons?” you ask.

  Sophie hands you three water guns. You fill them with bug spray. Hey, it’s the best you can do on short notice.

  “Okay,” you announce. “We’re ready.”

  Wait for the meteor shower to begin on PAGE 124.

  You sigh. “The roses are great,” you answer politely. “Mom says they’re unusually large this year.”

  Grandma leans back in the car seat. “That is excellent.”

  “Why do you want to know about our garden?” you ask.

  She pats your hand. “I lived in the house before your mother and father did. And I planted the eggs in the garden.”

  “Eggs?” you repeat. “How could you plant eggs?”

  Grandma looks startled. “I meant seeds. I planted the seeds for the rose bushes.”

  “Those roses have been there as long as I can remember,” you remark. “You must have planted them a long time ago.”

  “Fifteen years ago,” Grandma tells you. “They’re the only roses planted by the light of shooting stars.” She chuckles. “Meteors, really. So many meteors fell, night turned into day.”

  The taxi pulls into your driveway.

  “I must see the roses right away!” Grandma leaps out of the cab and disappears around the back of the house.

  You stare after her. Was she always this weird?

  The driver pops open the trunk to get Grandma’s bags. He reaches in and tugs. And yanks. And grunts. And pulls.

  Give the guy a hand on PAGE 101.

  “Alien investigator? Great joke!” You force a laugh. “Isn’t that funny, guys?” You turn to Sophie and Andrew, hoping they get what you’re doing.

  “Total laugh riot!” Sophie guffaws.

  “Had me in stitches,” Andrew adds.

  “Listen,” you say to Bendrey. “We have an appointment. We don’t have time for games.” You march briskly down the walk.

  “You’ll be sorry,” Bendrey calls after you. “You could really use my help!”

  You ignore him. You hurry down the street, Sophie and Andrew on your heels.

  “Are you sure …?” Andrew begins.

  You glare at him, and he shuts up.

  Of course you’re not sure! you think. But you didn’t trust that special agent guy.

  You just hope you don’t regret refusing to speak to him.

  Turn to PAGE 25.

  “I want to help find my real grandma!” you declare.

  “Good choice, kid.” Bendrey smiles at you. “Come on!”

  He leads you through town. In a few minutes, you, Sophie, Andrew, and Special Agent Bendrey stand outside an abandoned rail yard. One train car sits alone in the back of the yard.

  “The aliens dragged your grandma into the last train car,” Bendrey explains. “Then they unhooked the car from the one in front of it and brought it here.”

  You gaze at the nearly empty train yard. You shiver. Just being here gives you the creeps. Knowing aliens are inside that train car make your knees wobble with fear.

  “Let’s go!” Bendrey leads you, Sophie, and Andrew to a small opening in the fence. You crawl through and sneak toward the train car. The sun is setting, throwing weird shadows. Your heart pounds so hard, you’re afraid the aliens inside might hear it!

  Suddenly, the night sky brightens.

  “The meteor shower!” Sophie gasps.

  “Oh, no!” Bendrey exclaims.

  Why is he upset about the meteor shower? you wonder.

  Turn to PAGE 42.

  “Ticket?” you repeat. You smile up at the conductor.

  He doesn’t smile back.

  You spot Chuck and Ginny entering the compartment. Great!

  “Hi! I was looking for you!” You dart past the conductor and join your friends. “He wants to see my ticket,” you explain. You hope they’ll come up with an idea. Or some cash.

  “If you weren’t always late, you would have your ticket!” Ginny scolds. Then she winks at you.

  “That’s right,” Chuck tells the conductor. “My mom is picking us up in Evanstown. She’ll pay when we arrive.”

  “We promised our parents we wouldn’t get into trouble,” Ginny gushes.

  You want to gag. But Ginny’s act works.

  “Okay.” The conductor pats Ginny’s head. “As long as the ticket gets paid for.” He strolls out of the train car.

  “What was that about?” Chuck demands. “Why are you on the train? Aren’t you supposed to be with your grandmother?”

  You tell them about the strange scene you witnessed.

  “That woman might be my real grandma!” you exclaim. “You have to help me search the train!”

  Ginny and Chuck gaze at each other. “No way …” Chuck begins.

  Your heart sinks all the way to PAGE 59.

  You don’t know what to do next. So you sit at the kitchen table and scarf down a few brownies. Then you glance out the window — and notice someone sneaking around your garage!

  “Come on!” you shout. You dash out the door. Andrew and Sophie follow on your heels. But you’re too late. The guy has already disappeared into the garage.

  You charge through the door. And gasp.

  Grandma has transformed!

  She’s covered in green scales and has sprouted seven arms and three heads. All three heads are smiling into the intruder’s video camera.

  “What’s going on?” you demand.

  “I’m interviewing your grandma,” the guy explains. “She’ll be a great story!”

  “Cookie!” Grandma scolds. “You’re in the way. You’ll block my best angle.”

  Best angle? With three heads, there are plenty of angles to choose from!

  Turn to PAGE 24.

  You race to Grandma #2 in the doorway.

  “Keep away from us!” you shout at the other Grandma. Chuck and Ginny rush to your side. “You’re not my grandma!”

  Anger, then worry, flashes across Grandma #1’s face. “Wait! Don’t —”

  But you all charge out of the baggage car before she can say anything else.

  You and Grandma #2 get out at the next station. Ginny and Chuck continue on to the hockey game.

  “Grandma, you wouldn’t believe what was goi
ng on in that train!” you tell her as you wait for the train back home. “There were alien creatures with yellow Ping-Pong eyes and …”

  You hear a strange gurgling sound beside you. You glance over at Grandma.

  No! It can’t be!

  Your stomach twists in fear and disgust. Grandma is peeling off her skin! A slimy mass of green pulsing flesh oozes underneath her Grandma face.

  Boy, oh, boy. Did you pick the wrong Grandma!

  THE END

  “Your grandma was telling me all about her home planet,” the reporter tells you.

  “I’m so sorry I had to frighten you, dear,” she tells you. “But I really needed the publicity. For my new movie.”

  Huh?

  Seeing your confused look, all of Grandma’s heads laugh. “Everyone knows you’ve got to come to Earth to get your big break!” she explains. “Lots of celebrities do it!”

  “B-b-but —” you sputter. “What about the eggs in the rose garden? What about that fight we had when we captured you?”

  “That’s easy,” Grandma scoffs. “The eggs were a dandy lunch. And the fight, well …” She shrugs. “I’m afraid I staged it. It was this young man’s idea.” She nods one head at the reporter. “He thought it would make a good lead-in. So, Cookie, what do you think of your grandma now?”

  Your head swims. “My grandma? Are you saying that I’m an alien like you?”

  You feel faint just asking the question.

  Grandma’s answer is on PAGE 122. Well, what are you waiting for? Turn to the page!

  Finally, you, Sophie, and Andrew arrive at the train station. The place is deserted. Your footsteps echo in the stillness as you trudge down the platform and into the station.

  Even the information booth is closed.

  “Now what?” Sophie asks.

  “I’m thinking! I’m thinking!” you snap.

  Andrew starts rubbing his head. Good. That means his brain is working. Maybe he’ll figure out what to do.

  You glance up and down the platform. A light in the distance begins getting larger. The platform begins to rumble.

  Train coming in!

  The train gives you an idea! You’ll ask the conductor for a train schedule. Then maybe you can figure out where Grandma’s train was headed. You explain your plan to Sophie and Andrew.

  “Whatever.” Sophie shrugs her shoulders. You can tell she doesn’t think it’s much of a plan.

  The train roars into the station.

  Now that’s strange, you think. No one is getting on. And no one is getting off.

  Turn to PAGE 39.

  “It’s so nice to see my Cookie!” Your grandmother gazes down at you. Her eyes sparkle. Two dimples crinkle her cheeks as she smiles.

  You grin up at her. You must have imagined seeing that other woman. How could you have two grandmas? It’s a dumb idea.

  Get your grandma to a cab on PAGE 44.

  Maybe this guy can help you, you reason. But you need to be careful. After all, you brought home the wrong Grandma!

  “What do you mean — you’re an alien investigator?” you ask.

  The guy grins. “What does it sound like?”

  “So why did you ask about Grandma?” Sophie demands.

  Good question. You wish you had thought of it!

  Special Agent Bendrey glances around. “Because I know that the woman claiming to be your grandmother is an impostor!”

  Your mouth drops open. “How do you know?”

  Bendrey’s voice drops down to a low whisper. “Your real grandma is my partner!”

  Turn to PAGE 48.

  “We’ve got to wake Grandma,” you tell the others. “We won’t be able to escape any other way.”

  You, Ginny, and Chuck rush over to Grandma. You rub her hands and pat her face lightly. Finally, she comes around.

  “My, my,” she murmurs. “What am I doing up here?”

  You describe everything that has happened. She clucks and shakes her head. “I was afraid they might be onto me.”

  Then Grandma tells you an amazing story.

  She’s a secret agent specializing in alien investigations!

  “I’ve been tracking the evil Mithra-Dithra,” she explains. “Obviously, she assumed my identity. That’s why you saw two of us at the train station. And why those creatures captured me.”

  Your head swims. This is unbelievable!

  But you know your grandma is telling you the truth.

  Grandma smiles at you. “You three did very well,” she says. “I have an assignment for you. If you dare.”

  If you accept the assignment, turn to PAGE 34.

  If you’ve had enough of aliens and danger, turn to PAGE 46.

  “Let’s see who’s on the other side of the door,” you tell Grandma.

  She nods. “On my signal.”

  Grandma aims the device at the center of the door. You reach for the handle.

  She nods again.

  You take a deep breath and yank open the door.

  “Aaaaaaaaah!” a boy shrieks, bursting into the bathroom.

  Wham! The door smashes into your knee. The pain makes you weak.

  The boy knocks into Grandma. The device flies from her hands — straight into the toilet. She falls against the wall.

  “Get out! Get out! Get out!” the boy hollers.

  You and Grandma are no match for him.

  When you gotta go, you gotta go!

  THE END

  “There are two strangers at the back door,” Grandma says. “Get rid of them. We don’t need nosy neighbors poking around.”

  You glance out the window and smile.

  “Those are just my friends, Sophie and Andrew,” you assure her. “Hey, guys!” you call.

  Sophie and Andrew look up. Sophie is the toughest kid you know. She’s not afraid of anything. Bugs, snakes, rats — nothing scares her. You never, ever, dare her to do anything — because she’ll do it and then double-dare you!

  Andrew’s stringy brown hair sticks out in weird clumps. Whenever Andrew thinks hard about something, he rubs his head. So his hair is always a mess, because he never stops thinking.

  “Friends of yours?” Grandma murmurs. “I must meet them.”

  “Okay.” You lean back out the window. “Yo! Guys!” you yell. You’re about to tell them to come upstairs when Grandma grasps your arm.

  “Not now!” she orders. “I need to freshen up after my travels. Unpack. Maybe take a nap.”

  You rub your arm where she grabbed you. She’s one tough grandma!

  Turn to PAGE 120.

  “EMPLEH!” you tell Grandma excitedly. “It’s HELP ME spelled backward.”

  Grandma stares at you.

  “Grandma!” You tug at her sleeve. “We have to go back! Someone on the train needs our help!”

  “Oh, Cookie.” She sighs. “I didn’t want to have to do this so soon. But you give me no choice. I can’t allow you to interfere with my mission.”

  Grandma pulls a small laser device from her pocket. She points it at you.

  ZAP!

  “Take me to your mother’s rose garden,” she orders.

  You can’t resist. You lurch forward and climb into a cab like a zombie. As soon as you arrive at your house, Grandma races to the rose garden.

  “My eggs!” she cries. “My babies are ready to hatch!”

  You stand by watching helplessly as Grandma digs up hundreds of alien eggs.

  Turn to PAGE 45.

  Before you can shoot, the spidery creature speaks. In perfect English!

  “Thank you for rescuing us,” it chirps.

  “You’re — you’re … welcome!” you stammer.

  “Your ‘grandma’ is an evil alien who kept us captive,” the creature explains. “You have released us from our prison shells. We owe you our lives. We will never leave you!”

  Say what?

  Special Agent Bendrey rushes out of your house.

  “While you were keeping an eye on the eggs, we snuck in and
captured Grandma,” he tells you. “She’s in custody now. Thanks for your help.” He dashes off.

  “Wait!” you call after him.

  Too late. He’s gone. You never got to ask him one very important question.

  How are you going to explain the dozens of alien houseguests to your parents?

  Well, your mom is always telling you to make more friends….

  THE END

  You can’t go home without your grandma. Even if you feel as if you’re in the middle of an earthquake.

  You clutch the information counter to keep from falling over. You smile at the clerk, hoping to mask your fear.

  “Train coming!” the clerk informs you, shouting over the noise. “Every time one comes in, this old station rattles like a baby’s toy.”

  “I knew that,” you fib. You hope the clerk doesn’t notice how white your knuckles are.

  The rattling stops with a loud screech of brakes. You make your way out onto the platform just as the doors to the train open. Mobs of people push their way out the doors.

  You scan the crowd, searching for an old lady in yellow pants and a purple shirt. No luck.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” a voice calls.

  Turn to PAGE 4.

  Become an official investigator of aliens?

  “You bet!” you exclaim. Ginny and Chuck nod enthusiastically.

  “Great!” Grandma beams at you. “I’m going to go after Mithra-Dithra. But I need you to stay on this train.”

  You try to hide your disappointment. “Can’t we go with you to defeat the evil alien?” you ask.

  Grandma shakes her head. “I need you to track another set of aliens. You see, I discovered why there are so many aliens on this train. They’re all heading for a big meeting a few miles up.”