Can't Forget You

by Rachel Lacey

  He’d spent the last two days working on the mountain bike course from sunup to sundown, pounding boards into place until Sharlene’s face had faded from his mind, until his chest loosened and he no longer felt like he might suffocate from the memories. But now he’d run out of wood, and Jess had consumed his every waking thought. Rather than sit behind his desk, ready to crawl out of his own skin, he headed for his SUV. He’d just drive by her house and see if she was home. He thought he remembered her once telling him that Tuesday was her day off, the quietest day at the spa.

  And he needed to see her.

  He cranked the engine and turned down Mountain Breeze Road. Ten minutes later, he turned onto Jess’s street and could have cheered out loud when he saw her car in the driveway. He was out of his SUV and up her front steps so fast he probably should have been embarrassed, but he was too desperate to see her to care.

  He knocked, greeted by silence from within. Was she asleep? She’d been so tired lately, and that, combined with the headaches, had him worried. He didn’t want to knock again and risk waking her, but what if she was unconscious inside and needed help?

  As he stood there debating his best course of action, the door swung slowly open, and Jess stood there, blinking up at him through damp eyelashes. She’d been crying.

  Fuck.

  Emotion detonated inside him, shattering his composure. “Is it…did you…” He sucked in a deep breath. “I just came to see how you were feeling and if you’d gotten your test results yet.”

  “I just got off the phone with my doctor.” She motioned him in, wiping discreetly at her eyes.

  And the results had left her in tears. The bottom of his stomach dropped out, leaving him sick and shaky. He reached for her, but she took a step back, folding her arms over her chest.

  “The MRI was clean. Everything was normal.”

  Normal. All the air whooshed from his lungs. “That’s…that’s good news.”

  “Yeah.” She swiped at another tear. “It is. I was worried.”

  He had a feeling that was an understatement. He reached out, and this time she let him fold her into his arms. He held her close, savoring the warmth of her body against his, the faint scent of incense in her hair that brought so many memories roaring to life inside him. “I was worried too.”

  Her breath hitched, and he tightened his arms around her. They stayed like that for several long seconds, and everything that had been restless and raging inside him all morning calmed and went still. He could stay like this with Jess forever.

  When she looked up, her eyes were dry, and he recognized the hungry gleam in them a split second before her lips crashed into his. Then they were kissing, and everything that had been calm inside him was on fire.

  “I’m so mad at you,” she whispered, yanking him closer.

  “What?” He lifted his head.

  “You kiss me, and then you leave, and here I am, kissing you again.” She met his gaze, her eyes sparking.

  Fuck. His leaving the party hadn’t had anything to do with Jess. “I don’t—”

  “Just shut up and kiss me.”

  “Jess—”

  She sighed. “It hurt when you pushed me away after we kissed before, okay? Promise me you won’t do that this time.”

  His ribs constricted around his lungs. “I promise. The truth is, I can’t stay away from you no matter how hard I try.”

  “That makes two of us,” she said, and kissed him again.

  He kissed her back, his tongue stroking hers, mimicking the act of sex as Jess moaned deep in her throat. Her hips moved restlessly against his, and this time, they weren’t in the forest or hiding from the crowd during her Halloween party. This time they were alone in Jess’s house, and God help him, but he had to touch more of her.

  His hands slid beneath her top, finding and releasing the clasp of her bra. Her breasts sprang free, and as he cupped them in his palms, it was his turn to moan. So soft. So full. They filled his hands perfectly, just the way they always had.

  “Mark,” she whimpered, her head falling back as he scraped the pad of his thumb across her nipple, causing it to harden beneath his touch.

  “I’m here.” His voice was low and gruff, his blood like liquid fire in his veins. “Tell me what you need.”

  “More,” she whispered, pressing closer against him.

  Never let it be said that he didn’t give a woman what she wanted. He lifted her top, baring her gorgeous breasts. So pale, with perfect rosebuds in the center. He’d always loved the contrast of his skin against hers, and the sight of her breasts in his hands made him hard as steel.

  He bent his head, drawing one of those perfect nipples into his mouth. He nipped, teasing and tasting with his tongue as Jess panted. Her hips rocked rhythmically against his, and maybe because it had been so long since he’d been with a woman, or maybe because this was Jess, the urgency pounding inside him was almost overwhelming.

  “Touch me,” she whispered.

  He didn’t need to hear that invitation twice. The skirt she wore was knee-length, a soft, stretchy cotton. He reached beneath it, sliding his fingers up her thigh until he reached her panties. He stroked her, drawing another gasp from Jess, and then pushed them to the side.

  He swallowed her moan with a deep, drunken kiss as he began to stroke her. He pushed two fingers inside her, plunging in and out as his thumb rubbed against her clit. God, she was beautiful. So beautiful. He kissed her thoroughly, but it was never enough. It could never be enough.

  Her movements became frantic as she grew closer to her release, and he increased his tempo, matching her urgency with his own until she moaned, her internal muscles clenching around his fingers in a series of breathtaking spasms. His cock throbbed. Watching Jess come was like nothing else. It was the most beautiful—and arousing—thing in the world.

  “Wow,” she whispered, her head falling against his shoulder, her body gone limp in his arms.

  He looked around for the couch, but as he started to lead her that way, she shook her head, gesturing instead to her bedroom.

  “You sure?” he asked.

  “Yes.” Cheeks still flushed with pleasure, she led him down the hall to her bedroom.

  Her bed was covered in a purple quilt, and the aroma of incense was stronger here. That scent alone was enough to turn him on, never mind the woman in his arms, the only woman he’d ever needed this way.

  She tugged his shirt over his head and slid her fingers down his chest. “So beautiful,” she murmured, her fingernails scraping gently across his skin. Her gaze lingered on the scars on his lower abdomen, and his stomach clenched.

  He wasn’t ashamed of his battle scars, just intensely aware that Jess was the first woman to see them. He’d thought them to be dead tissue, devoid of feeling, but as she traced her fingers along his surgical scar, he felt the sensation to the tips of his toes.

  When she looked up, her eyes swam with questions. But she didn’t ask them. Instead she kissed him. She kissed him until his heart was about to pound its way out of his chest, and then she inched her way over his jaw and down his neck. Next thing he knew, her tongue slid across his nipple, sending a burst of fire straight to his groin.

  It had been so long since he’d felt a woman’s tongue on any part of his body that he’d almost forgotten how much pleasure it could bring. He’d forgotten a lot of things, like how exquisite it was to be with Jess. Everything with her was intense. She made him feel things he hadn’t thought he’d ever feel again, things he’d never felt with anyone else.

  He lifted her shirt over her head, and her bra—already unclasped—tumbled to the floor with it. She leaned forward, allowing her breasts to brush against his chest, skin to skin.

  “Mark,” she murmured against his neck, “do you think it will be as good as we remember it?”

  How could it not be? “Yeah.”

  “So do I,” she whispered, guiding his hands to the waistband of her skirt.

  He hooked his thumbs i
nside, pushing down her skirt and her panties in one swift movement and allowing his hungry gaze to take her in. “Even more beautiful than I remembered.”

  “That was my line.” She smiled against his lips. Then the button on his jeans sprang free, and she lowered his zipper.

  He stepped out of his jeans and pushed down his boxer briefs. And then, they were naked, her body pressed against his. Finally. He slid his hands down her back, anchoring her even closer, until not a millimeter of air separated their bodies.

  Then he dipped his head and kissed her. Next thing he knew, they were rolling onto the bed together. He was flat on his back with Jess straddling him, his cock pressed into the heat between her legs, and he was so hard that he couldn’t think of anything but getting inside her and losing himself there.

  “Do you have a condom?” she asked, rocking her hips so that she slid up and down his length.

  And fuck, how had he allowed himself to go this far without realizing he didn’t have protection? He lifted her, settling her next to him in the bed. “No.”

  Jess looked crestfallen. Then she slid closer, draping her leg over his. “I don’t usually, but I’m on the pill…”

  “Jess, it’s okay. We should wait.”

  “I’m clean.” Her voice had grown husky again as she wrapped her fingers around his dick, stroking him.

  “I’m—” He cleared his throat, having lost the ability to speak as she stroked him. “I’m clean, too. They tested us regularly in the Army.”

  Her brow furrowed, and her hand stilled. He held his breath to keep in the groan that threatened to escape his lips.

  “But, Mark…you’ve been out of the Army for, what, a year and a half?”

  “That’s right.”

  “And you haven’t…”

  “I haven’t been with anyone, not since before my last deployment.” Two years. Maybe longer. Too fucking long.

  “That’s a long time.” Her fingers tightened around his dick.

  Tell me about it. The problem was, he’d gotten so used to taking care of his own needs—and fantasizing about Jess while he was at it—that he’d let himself go too long without a woman’s touch. And now, here, with Jess of all women, his control was stretched closer to its limit than he would have ever believed possible.

  Her scent, the soft brush of her skin on his, so many sensations combined to light him up like a firecracker about to blow. “It’s okay. It’s enough to lie here with you.”

  “Liar.” She pressed her palm against his pulsing shaft.

  But he wasn’t lying. Every moment with Jess was more than he’d thought he would have, and even if they had to stop now, this would still have been worth it.

  “Wait.” Her eyes lit, and she slid out of bed.

  His body mourned the loss of hers with an ache that bordered on pain.

  She went into the bathroom and came back a moment later, carrying a little cardboard box. “They’re probably expired, but I’m on the pill, and we’re both clean so we’re basically safe anyway.” She slid back into bed beside him. “So, what do you say?”

  “I’d say we’ve got our bases covered.” He didn’t realize he was smiling until he saw her smiling back at him, and damn, it was a beautiful sight.

  “Hurry up then.” She ripped open the box and tossed a condom at him.

  He ripped open the packet and sheathed himself. He reached down to stroke her, finding her already wet, so wet, for him. That same need burned inside him, settling into a throbbing ache in his dick. He lowered his hips, positioning himself against her, and Jess moaned, digging her heels into his ass, urging him on.

  He pushed inside her, lost in the feeling of her hot body wrapped so tightly around him. Fuck. How had he forgotten how good this was? She gripped him, rocking her hips up to take him even deeper.

  “You good?” he gritted out.

  “No,” she panted.

  He froze and then shifted his weight to pull out.

  “I need you moving inside me, Mark. Stop holding back.”

  Stop holding back. He didn’t know how. He withdrew until only the swollen head of his cock remained inside her and then plunged back in, burying himself balls deep inside her. Ah, fuck. Pleasure pounded through him. Hot. Fast. Jess…

  He pistoned his hips, finally allowing himself to give in to the need that had been burning him up pretty much since the moment he’d walked in her front door. But still he held himself in check, drawing out her pleasure, making the moment last as long as he could physically manage.

  He reached between them, stroking her where their bodies joined, and she surged beneath him with a wild cry that caused his balls to draw up tight against his body.

  “Yes!” she panted, her hands still gripping his ass, plunging him ever deeper inside her. “More.”

  And that’s exactly what he gave her. He thrust inside her again and again as his own need built to an inferno. He held on with what remained of his control, savoring every moment until she tensed beneath him. Her body clamped down on him as she found her release, and it sent him right over the edge. As Jess cried out with pleasure, he came so hard he was lost to everything but the waves of release pounding through him.

  When he was spent, he lowered himself to the bed beside her, his muscles limp and trembling, but none so much as his heart. Never again would the fantasy of Jess be enough.

  * * *

  Jessica lay there in his arms as the last aftershocks of pleasure echoed inside her body. Wow. Sex with Mark had been everything. After all these years, she had been sure she’d just built up the memory of him in her mind, but no, if anything, this was better than she remembered.

  And if he tried to close himself off and run away like he’d done every time they kissed lately, well, she might just have to hunt him down and…what? Kicking him in the shins felt insufficient. But she was finished letting him hold her at arm’s length.

  Right now, he was flat on his back, one arm flung over his eyes. His chest heaved as he caught his breath. She allowed her gaze to roam lower. His body was a thing of wonder, all that smooth brown skin and sharply defined muscles. Her eyes landed on the scars on his abdomen. She’d felt them that day in the forest, but seeing them still left her somewhat shaken.

  Something major had happened to him; that much was for sure.

  She bent her head and kissed the biggest scar, allowing her lips to linger against its puckered surface. He said nothing. She traced each scar with her fingers, kissing her way over every inch of his damaged skin. No, damaged wasn’t the right word because these scars seemed to make him stronger. He’d survived.

  She pressed her lips against the small, round scar above his hip. “Mark”—she lifted her head to meet his eyes—“will you tell me?”

  He looked down at her, his dark eyes blazing. “War injury.”

  She fought not to roll her eyes. “I worked that much out for myself, thanks.”

  “I was in the Special Forces. A lot of what we did was classified.”

  “Then give me the unclassified version.” She splayed her hand over his scarred abdomen, noticing that his cock had already begun to harden again from her touch.

  “Suicide bomber.” He stared up at the ceiling, his expression unreadable.

  She was quiet, her hand still resting on his scars as she waited for him to continue.

  “We were outside a market, never even saw him until it was too late.”

  Her breath caught. “Your team?”

  “Only minor injuries, apart from me. We were lucky.”

  She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. Lucky. Maybe, but she had a feeling skill had played a bigger role in his survival. She had nothing but the utmost respect for Mark and all the other men and women who risked their lives serving their country. Her father and uncle had both served in the military.

  “There was a shoe,” Mark said, his body tensing beneath her, “on the ground beside me. A little girl’s shoe. I’ll never forget it.”

&nb
sp; Jessica’s stomach lurched. “Just a shoe?”

  He nodded, his expression hard. “War is an ugly thing.”

  It sure as hell was. “And your injuries were too severe to return to duty?”

  “I lost a kidney and two ligaments in my right knee, ended my time in the Special Forces.”

  She looked down at the knee in question, also marred with a long, twisted scar. “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I, but there’s nothing for it now. Off-the-Grid came along at the right time for me.”

  “I’m glad.” She slid up to kiss him.

  His arms came around her, drawing her close, and he kissed her back. This. This was what she’d wanted from him. Not just sex, but intimacy.

  She lowered her head to rest against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. “You want to know something stupid? I almost wanted them to find something on the MRI this morning.”

  He sucked in a breath. “Why?”

  “Because something’s not right,” she whispered. “I know it, and now I’m no closer to figuring out what it is.”

  “You’ll figure it out, Jess, but I’m so glad they didn’t find anything in your brain. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it, okay?” His voice had gone low, gruff.

  And it spread a warm, fuzzy sensation inside her. She really liked the sound of “we,” even if he didn’t mean it in the sense she might have wanted him to. “Okay.”

  Then they were kissing again. Mark was deliciously hard beneath her, and an answering ache grew between her thighs. She wasn’t sure she could ever get enough of this man. They kissed and caressed for a long time, and when he finally sheathed himself in a condom and pushed inside her, she felt him fill her all the way up to her heart.

  She was no fool. She knew they still had a long way to go before this thing between them had a chance of becoming something real, but after today, the Mark-sized crack in her heart had grown a little bit bigger. But as he took her over the edge with another soul-shattering orgasm, she really didn’t care.

  For today, this was enough. So much more than enough.

  Afterward, they lay together, arms and legs entwined, and she was feeling all kinds of mushy, romantic things for the man beside her. All. The. Feels.