by Rachel Lacey
* * *
Jessica tossed and turned in bed. What was going on at Off-the-Grid? How bad was the fire? Should she go after Mark even though he’d told her to stay here? She rubbed Bear’s furry ears. The dog had jumped up in bed with her as soon as he’d left and now lay sprawled across his side of the bed, her head on his pillow, snoring loudly.
Giving up on sleep, Jessica went into the kitchen and fixed herself a cup of tea. Why hadn’t he called yet? Did that mean the fire was still burning?
Finally, just past six o’clock, her cell phone rang.
“What’s going on?” she asked Mark.
“Fire’s out. Looks like it was an electrical fire. We’re waiting to be cleared to walk through the building with the fire marshal.”
“How bad is it?” she asked, clutching the phone to her ear.
“The house is still standing. Beyond that I don’t know yet.”
“Well, that’s good news, I guess. Is there anything I can do?”
“There’s not really. We’re just standing around out here. After we walk through the building, we’re going to head over to the condos to make phone calls, reschedule today’s appointments, insurance, all that stuff.”
The knot in her stomach loosened. This fire was bad news for them, certainly, but it wasn’t disastrous. The building was still standing. No one had been hurt. All their classes were conducted outdoors so they’d only lost their office space. “I’m so glad it wasn’t worse.”
“Me, too.” Mark sounded tired. “What time are you working today?”
“Nine to closing.” She was booked solid today. And while she would shift her schedule around in a heartbeat to help Mark and the guys if they needed her, it would really hurt to do it. She’d already taken so much sick time in the last few months.
“Could you do me a favor and drop Bear at my place on your way in?”
“Sure. Or she can stay here. I don’t mind.” Jessica rubbed the dog behind her ears.
“I know, but you’re going to be gone all day, and I’ll wind up at my condo by midmorning. But if you’re running late or anything, don’t worry about it. She’ll be fine.”
Jessica laughed softly. “I’ve been up for hours already, Mark, I’ve got plenty of time to drop her off before work, and you’re right. She’ll be much happier with you than here all day by herself.”
“Trent has a spare key. Just knock on your way up.”
“Will do. Keep me posted.”
After she’d hung up the phone, she went down the hall to shower and get ready for her day. An hour later, dressed in her spa uniform and with Bear in tow, she stepped outside. The early December air slapped her in the face, shocking away the last of her fatigue.
She’d let Bear outside earlier to do her doggy business so now she led the way straight toward her car. The dog walked beside her for a few steps and then trotted off across the yard and into the woods behind the house.
Dammit. Why hadn’t Mark ever gotten her a leash and collar?
“Bear, come back here, girl,” Jessica called, keeping her voice light and friendly.
No response.
She walked to the tree line, looking around for any sign of the dog. “Bear!”
Nothing.
“Bear? Come here, girl. Where are you?” She walked into the woods, grateful that the leaves were off the trees now, making it easier to look for Bear.
The dog trotted into view a few yards away, tail wagging. She watched as Jessica walked toward her and then took off, running farther into the woods.
Jessica huffed a breath. “Bear!”
She was not going to lose Mark’s dog this morning. Nope. Wasn’t going to happen. She zigzagged through the woods behind her house, looking in vain for the dog. She was just formulating her next plan of action when Bear came trotting toward her, still wagging her tail. “You’re a real diva when Mark’s not around, aren’t you?”
The dog fell into step beside her, walking back toward the house.
“Okay, let’s get you home.” Jessica walked to her car and opened the back door, motioning for Bear to hop up.
Bear gave her a look, wagged her tail, and then ran across the street and disappeared into the woods on the other side.
“You know, I think I’m starting to get an idea of how you wound up all alone in the woods in the first place!” Jessica called after her, exasperated.
What should she do? She knew absolutely nothing about dogs or how to catch one who had decided to play hard to get. Thinking on her feet, she raided the lunch she’d packed for herself, pulling a slice of roast beef out of her sandwich. And dammit, she needed a leash. She poked around in her shed until she found a short length of rope, which she coiled and stuffed into the pocket of her jacket.
Sorry, Bear, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Holding the roast beef out in front of herself, she crossed the street and stepped into the woods on the other side. “Bear! Come here, girl. I’ve got roast beef. I’ve seen you share a sandwich with Mark. I know you love meat. Come and get it.”
She walked along, waving the meat like a lure in front of her, looking everywhere for Bear. Where was she? Oh God, what if she’d actually lost Mark’s dog? On the same morning his business burned down. This was a nightmare!
“Come on, Bear. Come and get this yummy roast beef!”
Bear materialized out of the woods beside her, tail still wagging as she eyed the tasty treat in Jessica’s hand.
Relief flooded through Jessica’s system. “Oh, thank goodness. Come here, you.” She waited until the dog had leaned in to snatch the meat out of her hand before she whipped the rope out of her pocket and looped it around her neck.
Bear drew back, startled.
“Sorry, girl. Just making sure you don’t run off on me again.” She tied a slip knot in the rope, just tight enough to keep it from coming over her head. Once the rope was in place, she fed her the piece of roast beef, which the dog gobbled down hungrily. “Okay then. Let’s get you home before you cause any more trouble.”
She led the way back across the street, and Bear followed obediently now that her freedom had been revoked. “I’m buying you a real collar and leash later today, just so you know,” she told the dog as she loaded her into the car.
Bear panted from the backseat, looking as innocent as could be with those big, fluffy ears and wide brown eyes.
“Good thing you’re so cute.” Jessica started the car and headed for downtown. She wanted to get Bear dropped off quickly so that she might have time to stop by Off-the-Grid on her way to the spa and at least get a look for herself at how bad the damage was. She parked in Mark’s spot in front of the condo building and climbed the stairs to the second floor with Bear at her side. She knocked on Trent’s door.
He opened it a minute later, his black hair disheveled like he’d just rolled out of bed. “Oh, hey. Here you go.” He held out a silver key.
“Thanks, Trent.”
The teen glanced down at Bear, still wearing her makeshift leash, and grinned. “She run off on you too?”
“Yes! She did it to you too?” Jessica couldn’t help laughing.
Trent nodded. “She doesn’t listen for shit when Mark’s not around.”
“No, she doesn’t. Well, I’m going to buy her a leash. Thanks for the key.” She waved at Trent and then continued up the stairs to Mark’s third-floor condo. Her right knee was protesting by the time she’d reached the top, which sucked. She’d hoped her symptoms would all go away by the time she finished her antibiotics, even though the doctor had warned her they might not.
She pushed the key into the lock and let herself and Bear inside Mark’s condo. Once the door was closed behind her, she knelt and slipped the rope off her head. “All right, girl. You’re on your own until Mark gets home.”
Bear walked over to the dog bed in the corner, pawing at something lodged beneath it.
“Did you lose a ball under there?” Jessica walked over and
lifted the edge of the bed.
Bear grabbed a chewed-up wad of paper from underneath, heading toward the kitchen with it in her mouth.
“And here I thought you always behaved. Now you’re chewing up Mark’s stuff too?” Jessica followed Bear and pulled the paper out of her mouth. It was crumpled into a tight ball, slobbery and covered with chew marks. Jessica laid it on the kitchen counter, smoothing it out beneath her fingers. It was a note, addressed to Mark, smudged and tattered now thanks to Bear. And Jessica really didn’t mean to snoop through his mail, but she didn’t look away fast enough, and then she couldn’t look away if she’d tried.
Mark,
I’m so sorry. I made a terrible mistake coming here. I thought I could fix things, but it was too late. I’m moving on. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, please call.
Mom
A phone number was written below. Jessica drew back, a sick feeling roiling in her stomach. Mom. But that wasn’t possible…
Mark’s parents died in a car crash when he was six. He’d shown her that photo in his wallet, the one of him with his mom and dad. He’d told her…
Oh God.
Was it a lie? No. No way. There had to be some other explanation.
Her head was spinning. Clutching the tattered note in her hand, she slid down to the floor and reached for her cell phone. She started to call Mark, but instead her fingers tapped in the number written on the paper.
It rang twice, and then a woman answered, sounding groggy. “Hello?”
“Hi, um, sorry to bother you. Who am I speaking to?”
“I’m Sharlene Willis. Who are you?” she said, her tone abrupt.
Jessica stiffened. “This is Jessica Flynn. I’m Mark Dalton’s girlfriend. I found your note.” She sucked in a breath, her heart pounding so hard she could feel it rattling her bones. Deny it, Sharlene…tell me it isn’t true…
There was a pause. “I…I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. Is everything okay?”
“He’s fine,” Jessica croaked. She swallowed over the pain in her throat. “I, um…you’re his mother?”
Sharlene laughed, but it sounded tired and sad. “He didn’t tell you, did he? Guess I can’t blame him. I fucked up big time where he’s concerned.”
Jessica couldn’t speak. Everything was spinning out of control. She was on the phone with Mark’s mother. His mother. It wasn’t possible. How could he have kept this from her? She choked back a sob as two tears splashed over her cheeks.
After a lengthy pause, Sharlene cleared her throat. “Well, I guess you two have some things to talk about. Sorry for my part in it. Hope you can work it out.”
There was a click, and she was gone.
Jessica stared at the phone in her hands. Mark had been lying to her since they’d first met back in high school. How? Why? Sharlene had been here in Haven, recently enough for Bear to chew up her note.
Had his mother been here in Haven after he and Jessica were already back together?
A sob broke free. She thought he had finally opened himself up to her, that he’d finally trusted her with all his secrets. That night in the hot tub…he’d promised.
But as it turned out, he’d been keeping secrets all along.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jessica fumbled through her work day in a daze. Why had Mark lied to her? What had really happened to his parents? Was his dad alive too? Her heart still broke for him because, whatever had happened, his mom was alive but not part of his life. He’d grown up in foster care, for all intents and purposes an orphan. She’d known him long enough to know that much was true.
She desperately needed to talk to him, needed to hear his side of the story. Because he’d told everyone in his life that his parents died in a car crash, not just Jessica, and he must have had a good reason for it. But she was having an awfully hard time with the fact that his mom had been here in Haven this fall because, despite all the intimate conversations he and Jessica had shared, he’d never mentioned a word about his mother to her.
And that felt an awful lot like the way he’d treated her in high school, holding her at arm’s length and keeping secrets. Maybe he couldn’t help it, growing up the way he did, but she couldn’t plan a future with him if he couldn’t trust her with his past. They needed to talk after she got off work. It would probably be the most important conversation they’d ever had. And right now, she could hardly breathe past the lump in her throat.
By eight o’clock, she was the last person left at the spa. She sat in her office and stared at the three missed calls from Mark on her phone. They couldn’t do this over the phone. His condo was on her way home from work so she’d go straight there and hope to catch him. And God, she hoped he had a good explanation for this. Her heart was so heavy she could barely stand. Sucking in a shaky breath, she headed for the front door. She was so tired, so numb, so hurt. And desperate to get to Mark’s condo to see him.
Instead, she found him waiting at the front door of the spa, a smile on his face. “Good news,” he said as she pulled the door open. “The fire damage was minimal. Water damage from all the fire hoses is worse. Our computers are toast, but we should be able to have a makeshift reception desk in place by next week.”
“That is good news.” She tried to smile, but her face just wouldn’t cooperate.
Mark’s smile faded. “What’s wrong?” He stepped forward, arms extended, but she backed away.
“I, um…I found the note from your mother.” She held her breath, hoping against hope that he’d have some kind of rational explanation for the whole thing.
He dropped his hands to his sides, his expression gone totally blank.
“I called her,” she whispered.
“What?” He’d gone into military mode, his eyes dark and unreadable.
“I talked to her on the phone.” She hugged herself to keep from falling apart. “Mark, why did you tell me your parents died in a car crash?”
“Easier that way,” he said.
“How? Talk to me. Please.”
Mark shrugged, but there was nothing casual about the gesture. The tension rolling off him was so thick it enveloped her too, sending a shiver across her skin. Why had it been easier for him to tell the world his parents died? What could be worse than that? Heart in her throat, she flung her arms around him.
He didn’t hug her back.
“Dammit, Mark, I’m so sorry. Whatever happened, it’s awful and you didn’t deserve it.”
He stepped out of her embrace. “Doesn’t matter. It’s ancient history.”
“Of course it matters,” she said. “You grew up in foster care. That shaped your whole life.”
“And there’s no changing it now.”
“But your mom was here in Haven this fall. You saw her. You talked to her. That matters. That’s huge. Why didn’t you tell me?”
A muscle ticked in his cheek.
“Say something,” she whispered.
But he didn’t. He just stood there, still and silent as a statue.
“Help me understand. Please talk to me.” Please let me in this time. She swiped a tear from her cheek.
Mark looked away.
“Don’t shut me out, Mark. When you’re in a relationship, you share things, all the things you’re going through…even the hard ones. Even the painful ones. I shared all of mine with you.” Her breath hitched. “And I totally understand if this thing with your mom is too painful to talk about yet, but at least say something. Tell me we’ll work through this together.”
He sucked in a breath, and her heart stopped. She held her breath, waiting to hear what he’d finally say. But in the end, he said nothing.
Goddammit.
He turned away and started walking toward his SUV.
She blinked at him for a moment in shock and then ran after him. She grabbed on to his arm, spinning him to face her. “Don’t you dare walk away! You don’t get to do that to me again, Mark. Not this time.”
He turned to look at h
er with those dark, empty eyes. “I’m sorry, Jess.”
“We can work through this together,” she said as tears swam in her eyes and her stomach twisted with fear.
He kept walking. Each thump of his boots against the pavement felt like someone had taken a hammer to her heart, beating it into a million broken pieces. How could he walk out on her now, after everything they’d been through together?
No, no, no…
“If you walk away now, we’re through,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
Mark gave no indication he’d even heard her, still striding across the parking lot toward his SUV.
“Did you hear me?” she yelled as tears splashed over her cheeks. “If you walk away now, that’s it, Mark. We’re finished. For good this time.”
He paused, nodded slightly, and then climbed into his SUV and drove away.
* * *
Mark thought he knew pain. He’d gone through boot camp, spent a night buried under sand in the desert, and gotten himself blown half to pieces by a suicide bomber, but none of it hurt as bad as losing Jess.
His chest felt like someone had ripped his heart right out through his rib cage.
And the worst part was that it was his fault. He’d gone and fucked it up, just when he’d finally started to think he and Jess might have a future together. He hadn’t meant to keep secrets or shut her out. Maybe he just wasn’t wired for relationships, for the level of intimacy that involved baring every dark, scarred corner of your soul. When Jess had confronted him with the truth, he’d pushed her away. He didn’t even know why he’d done it. All he’d known was that he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think…he’d been consumed by the need to escape, to be alone.
And now he’d lost her.
He spent the next day at Off-the-Grid, ripping out carpet, drywall, and everything else that had been damaged by the fire. The entire rear section of the house was smoke-stained and waterlogged. Fortunately, he and the guys would be able to do most of the labor themselves.
