Too Close To Break

by M. A. Innes

  “Do I need to change?”

  “Nope.” He shook his head. “It’s not too fancy but it will be fun.”

  “Where do you want to go?” Was he being vague on purpose, or did he just not know where he wanted to go yet? It could be either.

  “It’s going to be a surprise.”

  “Do you actually know where we’re eating?” I really didn’t want to drive in circles for ages while he decided where we would go.

  Laughing, he reached around and smacked my ass playfully. “Yes! Now get ready so we can go.”

  He was almost giddy with excitement. Where the hell was he taking me?

  Chapter 8

  Jeremy

  The look on his face was priceless.

  “Oh, it’s been years since we went to one of these!” It was like he was a kid again, before everything got more difficult.

  “Since you threw up in the car after eating too much.” I tried not to bring up memories that they were in, but this one was hard. I could see the memories of how magical the restaurant had been when we were little, but I could still hear her screaming at us as he barfed everywhere.

  But who feeds a seven-year-old the adult portion of food at a Japanese steakhouse?

  I could almost see him pushing the memories away. He grinned at me, trying to hold on to the good parts. “And you came to my room later when I was grounded and told me that you’d take me again when you were big and rich. Just so I’d stop crying.”

  I tried not to blush. I hadn’t remembered that part until he’d started talking about it. “You were little and had more steak than three kids could have eaten.”

  “That car smelled like vomit for months.” He started to laugh. “How about I promise not to make myself sick?”

  “I’d appreciate it.”

  “Will it get me a reward?”

  The memory was getting clearer. It just seemed so far away. “I don’t have any more gum.”

  “It was the kind that made bubbles.” Kevin grinned and leaned back in the seat.

  His brain was amazing. “How do you even remember stuff like this?”

  “I remember everything about you. You were the best big brother. Everybody else complained about how mean their older siblings were, but you never did anything like that to me. You helped me with my homework and let me play with you and your friends. If I was upset, you’d always come to find me.” Kevin looked at me like I was ridiculous for not realizing what he was trying to say. “You were always doing things like that.”

  Because he’d needed me.

  “I had to look out for you.” I shrugged and reached out to ruffle his hair.

  “Hey, I want to look nice. This is a fancy restaurant.” He smirked, his eyes sparkling.

  When we’d first walked into the restaurant, Kevin had announced loudly that it was the fanciest place he’d ever seen because they had gold everywhere and a pond in their living room. Most of the people eating heard him talking about the small goldfish pond and had smiled. He’d walked through the place, pointing out the interesting paintings and decorations, talking about how amazing it was.

  My parents hadn’t been as amused. I remembered them telling him over and over to be quieter. They probably gave him the food just to shut him up. It was a bit fuzzy, but knowing them, it had been a business dinner or something like that and we were supposed to be seen and not heard.

  “It’s so fancy you can even have shrimp and steak.” I kept the serious expression for as long as I could but his grin made it hard.

  “See,” He pointed to the building. “You do love me.”

  “Of course. Only the best for you.” Turning off the car, I started to open the door. “Now come on. We’ve got about twenty minutes or so while they’re still serving the lunch menu. If we wait any longer, it goes to the dinner one, and that’s almost twice the price for the same amount of food.”

  “And there’s my frugal planner. I was afraid you’d been taken over by aliens.” Kevin snickered and teased as he climbed out of the car.

  “Hey! I’m not that bad.”

  “Oh, you are, but I love how you think of everything.” He walked around the car and took my hand. “Now, you need to feed me. I’m starved. I didn’t get lunch.”

  “Isn’t that what you said before we went in last time?” I was only half teasing. “And why didn’t you get lunch?”

  “Because I forgot to stop. I meant to, but I was thinking about the reading assignment and the classes I wanted for the fall. By the time I realized what I was doing, I was already at school.” He shrugged. “I had a granola bar in my bag, but that wasn’t enough.”

  “Why didn’t you say something when you got home?”

  “I forgot I was hungry.” He frowned and got defensive. “You distracted me.”

  “So it’s my fault?”

  “Yup. Now you might even owe me dessert.” He nodded decisively, his eyes twinkling. “Yup, definitely dessert.”

  As I opened the door and he walked through, I leaned close. “I’ll give you something sweet later.”

  He was still smiling and shaking his head when the hostess came up with a fake smile on her face. Evidently, she didn’t think we were funny. We’d arrived at a weird time of day, so she sat us at an empty hibachi table, telling us that our server would be back in a moment.

  I wasn’t going to hold my breath.

  The servers were over at the corner hanging out, and I knew they were going to try to wait as long as they could before starting our meal to see if anyone else was going to come. But we weren’t in a rush, so it didn’t really matter. We were there to have fun.

  And to build better memories.

  I wanted fun things to replace the stressful ones. Every trip they took us on and every event we were dragged to had a taint to them. I don’t know if I realized it as a kid. It didn’t matter if it was a vacation at the beach or a restaurant down the street, but they’d made it stressful and it ended with us feeling guilty about insane things.

  I was going to change that.

  I was going to give him things we could laugh over and talk about when we were older. Things that weren’t tinged with my parents’ manipulation and disdain. He was going to have happy, goofy, sweet, perfect memories of our life together.

  We avoided serious things and discussed summer plans and school and the business, anything but cops and parents and weird phone calls. I wasn’t going to let myself get bogged down in the frustration and fear that flashed through me when the phone rang, but it was more serious than Kevin realized.

  The calls were up to three or four a day.

  They always got more frequent right before a school holiday, but they were getting worse. I’d kept telling myself that they would stop once the summer really hit, but that hadn’t helped. I was starting to leave my phone on silent when Kevin was home, so I wouldn’t take the chance of him hearing how often they were happening.

  Changing my work number wasn’t an option, but I was going to have to figure something out soon. I could set up separate ring tones for people who called on a regular basis, but that wouldn’t catch all of them.

  “Jeremy?”

  I blinked at Kevin, clearly not realizing how lost in thought I’d gotten. “Sorry, what?”

  “She wanted to know if you decided what to order yet.” Kevin gave me a concerned look. “You okay?”

  I’d clearly been staring at the menu too long. “I’m sorry. I got distracted.”

  I’d been right about the wait, but we’d had so much fun talking that it hadn’t been that bad. After a while, an older couple sat down at the table and then a young family with three small kids sat down. Watching them was like observing the lions at the zoo. Going through my order with the server, it didn’t take long before she’d gotten everyone’s choices and was telling us that our salad would be out in a moment.

  They looked cute and cuddly but were actually feral and wild.

  Yup, I was going to be good without kids.
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br />   It wasn’t like we hadn’t talked about that. After our screwed-up childhood, neither of us could see raising kids. By the end of the meal, I think we were both pretty okay with that decision. We didn’t have the best role models for rules and how kids should behave, because our parents were insane.

  But I thought there were supposed to be at least a few.

  Maybe I was wrong about that, but when the bigger kid wouldn’t sit down and almost burned himself on the grill, I thought the little old lady at the end of the table would lose it. Her husband kept a tight grip on her, and I could see him holding back a laugh. Evidently, she liked rules and didn’t like what was happening at the table either.

  Kevin seemed to enjoy the chaos, but when he didn’t ask for dessert and simply told the waitress we wanted the check, I knew it was starting to get to him too. We both managed to hold back the laughter until we were out of the restaurant, but by the time we got to the car, we were both nearly in tears.

  “When that…little one sent the piece of…shrimp flying…at that other table I thought…I’d…die.” He was laughing so hard he was having a hard time breathing.

  “No, the best part was when the mom kept trying to tell the guy what foods the kids wouldn’t eat. He was trying so hard to be polite, but he was ready to go nuts. Who brings kids to a restaurant like that if they won’t eat seeds, or soy sauce, or half the vegetables they served? I just hope they tipped them big because that waitress had to come out a dozen times.”

  Kevin nodded and leaned back in the seat, trying to catch his breath. “And that lady! The way her husband kept having to hold her back.”

  He was laughing so hard he was nearly rolling on the floor of the car. He was right though. “Did you see his face? He knew she was getting ready to go postal. She’s going to explode when they finally get out of there.”

  “Like atomic level.” Kevin took a few deep breaths trying to stop laughing. “And when that kid threw the chicken at you because he wanted chicken and thought he’d gotten shrimp…it was like that old ‘Who’s on First?’ skit. His mom was ready to tear her hair out.”

  “Oh, no, the best part had to be when that little girl kept eating off my plate.” Now he had me in stitches. The food had been great, but the company was like a bad comedy. “What was I supposed to do? They wouldn’t make the kid stop.”

  “She ate half your steak.” Kevin leaned over and grabbed my stomach, making me laugh even harder. “I think someone is still hungry, and I think someone else needs dessert.”

  “I think I remember something about dessert. But didn’t you want to stay and eat ice cream with the kiddos?” He didn’t think that was funny. He started shaking his head and scrunching up his face.

  “Oh, no, I want something yummier than cheap ice cream, and I want to be able to curl up with you while we eat it.” He gave me a long look. “Maybe even in bed.”

  He was hinting about something sexy and fun…but I knew better.

  “I’m not falling for that again.” I shook my finger at him as I put the car in gear and started backing out. “The last time you did that to me, we ended up binge-watching that sci-fi show while you ate ice cream out of the carton. I didn’t even get any. If you’re getting a pint of that expensive shit again, I want my own. You don’t share well enough.”

  He gave me a pout. It was sexy and playful, but I was becoming immune…at least when I wanted to be. “But I fed you off the spoon and everything.”

  “Bullshit! I got two bites! Two bites out of that whole container!” I pulled the car out of the parking lot and started heading back toward the apartment. We weren’t far, but I wasn’t ready for our date to be over, so we were going so slowly turtles could have probably passed us. Home meant phone calls to clients and reading for Kevin.

  He almost giggled but tried to cough to cover it up. “But it’s the sharing that counts.”

  “It’s the ice cream that counts!” I wasn’t going to be conned again, and he was having too much fun, so backing down wasn’t an option.

  He sighed and leaned back in the seat, pouting dramatically. “You don’t love me.”

  I snorted. “Not enough to share dessert with you again.”

  “Aw, come on…I wasn’t that bad.” Big puppy eyes were looking at me from his still-pouting face.

  “Oh, yes you were.” He was so cute and so funny, but sharing dessert with him was asking too much of me. “No. More. Sharing.”

  “Fine.” He huffed and slouched. “You don’t love me.”

  “I love you enough to stop by that fancy overpriced grocery store with the big bakery.” I was that mom in the restaurant who kept promising ice cream if the kid would just sit down. Except in our case, it was expensive pastries and a pouting lover who was doing his best to manipulate me.

  He sat up straighter, obviously smelling victory. “And you’re not even going to complain when a piece of cake costs like eight bucks or something crazy?”

  Lord, that would be hard.

  “I will keep my opinions to myself.” Now I was the dramatic one. Walking into the boutique grocery store for the first time had been a complete culture shock. I’d never done much shopping in fancy places like that, and paying three dollars for a can of green beans with weird French herbs was insane.

  “Like in your head? Because the last time we went, you grumbled so much I think they thought you were…troubled.” He was giving me a skeptical look, not sure whether or not to believe me.

  I knew what he was really picturing, and it wasn’t me mumbling about the prices. “Those jeans are not that bad!”

  He barked out a laugh and nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, they are. They’re not distressed, they’re just old!”

  “They’re comfortable.” Every time I wore them, he promised to burn them. Last time he said they’d been sacrificed to the fashion gods since they were obviously dead.

  Kevin snorted and shook his head, giving me a look like I’d lost my mind. “You can’t wear them in public anymore! You looked homeless!”

  My looking terrible was only part of it. “You just want to be able to flirt with that bagger again. And if I look bad, you think he won’t smile at you.”

  Kevin started to choke, and it took him a minute to catch his breath. “I was not flirting.”

  “Oh, yes, you were.” He hadn’t been, but the look on his face was too perfect to let it drop. “You gave him that puppy dog look and sweetly asked him to double-bag the milk.”

  “That’s not flirting! That’s trying to get good customer service. When they only put it in one, it always falls out by the time we get up to the apartment!” He was starting to turn a little bit purple. It was entertaining. Normally, it was me on the receiving end.

  Payback was fun.

  “Suuure it is.” I turned into the parking lot, and he was still sputtering while I parked the car. “Come on. Dessert and eye candy in one trip.”

  It took him a minute to start getting out of the car. I was getting the “You’re an alien” look again. “You’re insane.”

  “Probably.” I got out of the car and shut the door. When he was standing by the car, watching me carefully, I finished my sentence. “But that’s not what you should be concerned with at the moment.”

  I got another skeptical look like he knew better than to ask, but he was going to anyway. “What should I be worried about?”

  I grinned. It was a little bit wicked. “What I’m going to say in the checkout line.”

  Chapter 9

  Kevin

  We ended up using the self-checkout aisle. I didn’t trust him at all.

  “Are you sure you want all that? I think you’re the one who’s going to end up making himself sick.” Jeremy laughed, but I wasn’t exactly teasing.

  My frugal count-every-penny husband had bought a couple of little mini-desserts and a carton of ice cream. I might have gotten a big-ass piece of chocolate cake, but his looked like a lot more food. I think part of it was to distract me and the
rest was just to drive me crazy.

  “It’s not that much. See?” He held up the carton. “It’s one of the small ones and the other stuff is tiny, like a mouthful each.”

  “Okay, but don’t complain if you end up with a stomachache.”

  “You had more dinner than I did. That kid ate half my steak.” He might have had a point. Not that I was going to say that.

  I mumbled something about round and tall just as we were getting in line behind an older woman who was buying some more reasonable groceries. She didn’t look like a junkie on a sugar binge like we probably did. Jeremy gave me a disgruntled look to let me know he’d heard me—of course he did; that was the point—but thankfully stayed quiet.

  Not for long enough though.

  “There he is…your hot bagger.” He leaned close and whispered low.

  “He’s not mine, and I didn’t even notice his looks.” Liar. “You’re going to get us kicked out.”

  “Eye candy and pastries…I told you so.” He smirked, and either the little old lady in front of us had bionic hearing, or her hearing aid was turned up way too loud, because she turned and gave us both a grin.

  “That’s why everyone shops here. No one really needs half the stuff in here, but every bagger and stock boy is cute. So we overpay.” Then she pointed at Jeremy as she grabbed her bag. “Driving him crazy just because he’s so cute when he gets worked up? My Herold used to do that to me, God rest his soul. He was a handful too.”

  She gave us a wave as she walked out the door. I was still having a hard time picking my jaw up off the floor. Jeremy, on the other hand, thought it was great. He was laughing so hard I had to check us out. Everyone at the front of the store was looking at us and clearly wanted to know what she’d said that was so funny.

  I almost dragged him out of there.

  He managed to help me bag up the ice cream, but then he leaned over and started to whisper again. “He looked at your ass.”

  “He did not!” That might have come out too loud.

  Ripping the receipt from the machine, I grabbed his hand and started heading out the door. I just couldn’t take him anywhere today. Jeremy grinned and kept making little comments. That lady was right; he was doing it on purpose.