Too Close To Break

by M. A. Innes

  “Someone’s been telling them stuff.”

  “Yeah, that was obvious from what he said, but I just don’t know who. The admin said to go to housing and make sure our records were listed as private there because they have an older computer program that isn’t synced up with the rest of the school yet. That was the only thing she could think of, but didn’t we already do that at the beginning of the year?” He was leaning forward again, his legs stretched out and bouncing.

  He was getting me even more worked up, but I did my best to ignore it. Making him more anxious wasn’t going to help and when we were in the middle of campus, there wasn’t much I could do about it. “Let’s go do that now then. We have time before we have to go.”

  I didn’t have to say where; Jeremy knew. We hadn’t discussed it much, but the meeting with the detective was never far from either of our minds.

  “Do you have anything else you need to get done for class?” He frowned and glanced back toward the building. “I don’t want you to get behind. We didn’t get tons done last night.”

  “I’m good. And I’ll do some studying this weekend, but the class isn’t that bad. I think I paid more attention in high school than I realized, because most of the stuff he’s talking about isn’t new.” The way everyone had talked about the class, I’d been prepared for worse.

  “Good.” Jeremy reached out and squeezed my hand. “Let’s go then. We’ll talk to them then grab something to eat before we go over.”

  I made a face and shook my head. Food didn’t sound like a good idea. “I’m not that hungry.”

  He grinned but seemed to understand. “I need some caffeine before we go.”

  That was a necessity. “God, yes.”

  Laughing, Jeremy stood. “Come on, housing then coffee.”

  “Caffeine and sugar are my two favorite food groups.” I stood up and followed him down the walkway. “Maybe a brownie would be good. You know, just so I don’t have all that caffeine and sugar on an empty stomach.”

  I got a “You’ve lost your mind” look, and he shook his head. “If you think I’m going to—” He was getting good and wound up as we walked around the corner but stopped as we nearly collided with seventies-porno-guy.

  I got a grin, and he winked at us both. Gross. “Hey! I was coming to see you. I had some questions about the lecture today. So I thought I’d head over to the library and see what you thought—”

  There was probably more to the rambling sentence, but Jeremy didn’t give him a chance to continue. “What the hell is wrong with you? He’s said he’s not interested, and you just won’t back off!”

  Rich—pizza guy—must have seen something in Jeremy’s face, because his hands came up and he took a step back trying to placate Jeremy. “Hey man, you know it’s just a game.”

  Huh?

  “What?” Jeremy’s voice was still filled with anger, but the confusion was clear to Rich. Of course, I just stood there like an idiot with my gaze ping-ponging between the two guys.

  “Charlie?” His tone that said we should have remembered what was going on. “She said it’s a game with you guys. Like, jealousy revs your engine.” His eyebrows wiggled up and down and he leered at us.

  “What?” It came out louder than I’d intended, and people walking across the lawn turned to see what we were doing. I brought my voice back down, closer to normal. “What did Charlie say?”

  His eyes got bigger and went back and forth between us. He was starting to realize we had no idea what was going on. “Hey, Charlie gave me some money and said you guys were a little kinky and liked to role play that Kevin was going to cheat, and then you’d go all caveman on him.”

  Rich shrugged. “It’s not my thing. I’m more of a romantic personally, but to each his own. Anyway, she said it’s what you guys were into and if I played along, she’d pay me. Dude, if she didn’t tell you guys it was me, you should have guessed.”

  Rich gave us a confused look like he thought we were stupid and wasn’t sure why we just didn’t get it.

  “There’s nothing to tell! She lied!” Jeremy’s voice kept rising. It was at an almost ear-splitting level by the time he stopped.

  “Fuck.” We got another tennis match expression where his face kept turning back and forth between us.

  “Yes!”

  “Hey man, I’m sorry. She said—”

  “I know what she said!” Jeremy’s voice was aggressive and frustrated, and I was a little bit worried about his blood pressure.

  “I think we’ve established he didn’t understand.” I reached out and started running my hand up and down Jeremy’s back, trying to soothe away some of the anger radiating from him.

  I looked at Rich. “When did she talk to you about us?”

  He shrugged and didn’t look as panicked anymore now that Jeremy had started to get himself under control. His deer-in-the-headlights look faded and his seventies style swagger was back. “A few weeks ago? I think it was…yeah, it was at the housing office. I’d stopped in to talk about the fall options that were still available, they have me rooming with some freshman, and she was working. So we got to talking and—”

  “Wait.” Jeremy held up a hand. “What do you mean she was working?”

  Rich shrugged. “She works there part-time or something. Maybe as part of a work-study program? Answering phones and stupid questions is how she described it.”

  I turned to Jeremy and my hand fell away from him. “It’s her.”

  “Huh?” Rich leaned in, confusion on his face.

  I shot him a look, and he shut up. “Nothing.”

  Jeremy just ignored Rich and nodded at me so I kept going. “She told her?”

  “Told who what?” Rich was eager and excited, but I just gave him another dirty look.

  “Nothing.”

  “I’m betting it’s not nothing.” His leer was back, and he looked at Jeremy. “Your guy’s a screamer. Charlie might have lied, but you’re both probably into something interesting.”

  For the love of—I grabbed Jeremy’s hand and pointed to Rich. “No more flirting, and if Charlie asks you to do it again, tell her we know and if she doesn’t leave us alone, we’ll tell the administration she’s giving out private information on students.”

  As I started dragging Jeremy off toward the car, Rich called out something about the three of us getting together. I couldn’t help mumbling quietly. “Great, now he thinks were swingers or something.”

  Jeremy took a deep breath and tried to relax. “At least we don’t have to talk to housing.”

  “We’re going to have to talk to Charlie about it when she gets back.” I wasn’t looking forward to that and it must have been obvious, because Jeremy squeezed my hand and slowed my forced march down to a more leisurely pace. Then started caressing my hand with his fingers. “What was she trying to do?”

  “Drive us crazy?” Jeremy cocked his head and looked at me, confused and aggravated, as we finally got to the car.

  I just shrugged. “Break us up maybe?”

  “But why? I mean, that one makes the most sense, but it’s nuts.” He leaned against the front, and I could see his mind whirling as he tried to think through the different explanations.

  I had to agree with Jeremy. “She had to realize we were gay. Come on, we told them we were married and never said anything that would even hint that we dated other people.”

  Jeremy pushed off the car and started walking around to the driver’s side. “I really need coffee now.”

  “God, yes. With sugar and chocolate. A big one.” It’d turned out to be a hell of a day.

  Chapter 12

  Jeremy

  “It’s going to be fine.” Kevin had said the simple statement about five times in the couple of minutes we’d been sitting in the parking lot.

  Getting coffee hadn’t taken long enough, and we’d had a few minutes to wait before heading into Dr. Sheppard’s office. I was starting to think I should have made up another errand just to kill time. I w
asn’t sure if he was trying to make me feel better, or himself, but his constant need to reaffirm that everything would be okay was just making us both more nervous.

  “Yes, because the cop wouldn’t have put the meeting off for days if he was going to arrest me or charge me with anything. It would look really bad.” I stretched my arm out and rested it on the back of Kevin’s head, so I could run my fingers through his hair. “I want you to take a deep breath for me and close your eyes for just a minute.”

  He gave a short, tense laugh but listened to me and closed his eyes, taking several long breaths. “I think I’m supposed to be comforting you.”

  I could push away my worries; it was Kevin’s that concerned me the most. Or maybe it was just that when I could focus on him, it was easier to ignore the fears that were clawing at the back of my head. Shoving them away wasn’t helping. They just kept coming back.

  “How about you distract me then? Talk to me about something to take my mind off things.” Maybe it would give me something else to focus on and him some way to feel like he was helping.

  He wiggled his head, so I started caressing his hair again. He smiled and gave me a little sigh. “The summer?”

  “Sure.”

  “I know we’re heading to Bryan’s house over the fourth, but was there anything else you wanted to do? Go somewhere or do something different?” Kevin reluctantly turned his head and opened one eye.

  “How about we find some places to go hiking or canoeing?”

  One eyebrow went up, and he looked suspicious. “Outdoors?”

  Laughing, I nodded. “Yes.”

  “How outdoors? I’m not camping. Not unless it involves that condo we stayed at over Christmas.” The expression on his face made it clear he wasn’t going to be talked into anything crazy.

  “We’ll start small. Hiking. Didn’t Maddox say there were some trails not far from the campus? We’ll ask them to go with us, make a day of it.” Kevin was starting to warm up to the idea, because he was nodding, and I could see him start turning it over in his head.

  I knew he’d been thinking of something bigger or something more like a real vacation, but I had to keep him away from that idea. Kevin didn’t know it, but I’d already made reservations for later in the summer at a nice hotel down at the beach.

  We didn’t exactly have a traditional anniversary date that we could celebrate, so I’d chosen something that was important to me. The one-year anniversary of our first kiss. There were so many firsts I could have picked, and I even thought about picking the night he stripped down in front of me to change his pajamas just to be funny, but I wanted something sweet. I wanted to give him wonderful memories that we would have for a long time.

  I’d gotten a good deal, but a beachfront hotel in the summer wasn’t exactly cheap, so there wasn’t a lot of wiggle room in the budget for a second full vacation. I couldn’t exactly tell him that, though, or it would spoil the surprise.

  “That sounds good.” Kevin was clearly starting to get into the idea. “And there are some canoes and stuff you can rent from that state park toward Bryan’s house. You know, the one with the big sign about half an hour outside town.”

  “That would be fun.” I’d originally started the conversation to distract him, but it was actually beginning to sound like a good plan.

  “Am I calm enough now to go in?” Kevin grinned and looked over at the clock on the dashboard. “We’re going to be late if we don’t head in now.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I gave him my best innocent smile and leaned over to kiss him. A quick peck was all we had time for, but when we were done, I would make it up to him. “You’re going to make us late.”

  “Suuuure…I’m the one who’s dragging their feet.” Kevin reached out and squeezed my hand. “Let’s get this over with.”

  We exited the car with more fake resolve than anything real. We managed to look calm though. I wasn’t sure if that actually counted for anything, but it made me feel better. Walking up to the door, I saw Kevin using the reflection in the glass to look around the parking lot.

  Leaning close, I whispered low. “There are no cop cars. I already checked.”

  He laughed and gave me an embarrassed smile. “You weren’t supposed to see me look.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about, remember?” I tried to sound more convincing than he had in the car.

  Kevin nodded, but the expression on his face made it clear he didn’t believe it either. Forced confidence never looked the same as the real thing. I tried to remind us both of the facts that were in our favor. “The cop didn’t seem worried after Dr. Sheppard talked to him, and Dr. Sheppard told us not to worry. The police officer also wouldn’t have waited days to talk to us in person if he was going to arrest me or if he thought you were in danger.”

  When Kevin nodded again, it was firmer and more decisive. I was right. I knew I was; it was just hard to keep it in my head. All the things that could go wrong were easier to focus on for some reason. Being the bitch to some guy named Bubba was at the forefront of my mind.

  So was being branded a child rapist in prison.

  “You’re right. He wouldn’t have put it off. That would look bad in court.” I got another fake smile.

  We’d gone through the same lines in every conversation, which was why we’d tried to avoid it. “I’m always right.”

  His smile grew into something honest and he squeezed my hand. “I’m not agreeing to that. Come on, we have to be late now.”

  As we opened the door and walked down to the therapist’s office, I could feel the tension grow but refused to acknowledge it. We would be fine. Kevin’s little pep talk started again, but before we could go more than one round, we were heading into the office.

  The receptionist was on the phone, but she smiled and waved us through, whispering that Dr. Sheppard was expecting us. Bryan was nowhere around, so we just headed toward the door. I wasn’t sure how much longer the cop would be before he arrived, but I hoped we’d have time to talk through a few things with Dr. Sheppard first.

  With a quiet, “Thanks,” we went through the door into Dr. Sheppard’s office. “Hello? We were told to—”

  I stopped mid-sentence. The cop was already there.

  The other man wasn’t in a uniform and didn’t have a badge out, but something about the way he held himself and the way he took over the room screamed cop. Kevin must have thought so too, because his hand was gripping me so tight I was losing feeling in my fingers, and he was beginning to look a little like Bryan right before he’d start to pass out.

  I wasn’t sure what to do.

  I didn’t want to give us away, but Kevin looked ready to either throw up or faint. Letting go of his hand seemed like a bad idea, even if I could have gotten him to relax his hold, so I moved to stand in front of him, blocking his view.

  “Kevin?” He was staring at me but didn’t seem to see me. I lowered my voice, trying to keep the words private, but it was such a small room I knew they might hear. “Baby? I need you to take a deep breath for me.”

  Nothing.

  It was time to fight dirty. I had to get him to snap out of it or the cop was going to think I was torturing him or something. “The guys will never let you live it down if you pass out like Bryan.”

  He blinked.

  His eyes started to focus, and he shook his head like he’d been lost in thought. Giving me a reluctant smile, he relaxed his hand enough that I could feel the blood running back to my extremities. “That’s just mean.”

  There was no denying that. It was mean, but it’d gotten him to stop panicking so I was fine with that. “You okay?”

  “I’m sorry. It was…” He peeked around me like he was making sure the cop was really there. “I was just surprised.”

  Dr. Sheppard walked over while we were talking quietly. “Kevin, are you okay? Detective Davison got here earlier than he expected. I’m sorry we surprised you.”

  Kevin took a deep bre
ath and tried to look calm and together for the cop. “I’m fine. I apologize for overreacting.”

  Dr. Sheppard looked understandingly at Kevin but shook his head. “You did not overreact. You were startled by an unfamiliar situation. It was a perfectly reasonable response given your history and stressors.”

  Kevin bit his lip, probably to hold back another apology, and gave Dr. Sheppard a curt nod of his head. Dr. Sheppard gave him a calm smile and then looked over at me. “Would you both like to sit down? I want to introduce you to Detective Avery.”

  It felt a little like we were walking toward a cliff or into a cave filled with bats or spiders…hell, something creepy. Dr. Sheppard’s office had never given me those kinds of emotions before, and I had to keep reminding myself that it was all in my head. Nothing was going to happen.

  Even I didn’t believe it.

  The room was back to its usual layout, and Kevin kept a tight hold on my hand as we walked over to the chairs near Dr. Sheppard’s desk. The detective waited quietly while we moved over and seemed to be trying not to upset us because he stayed still and looked remarkably calm. He was younger looking than he’d sounded on the phone. For some reason, I’d pictured him being older. But he was probably in his late thirties at most, with short dark hair, almost military looking, and wearing a button-down shirt tucked into dark jeans. I’d probably have considered him attractive if he wasn’t the only thing standing between me and jail.

  When we couldn’t ignore him any longer, we both kind of nodded at him awkwardly and mumbled unintelligible sounds that tried to pass for greetings. He slowly extended one hand out to me and I reluctantly shook it. He didn’t try to touch Kevin, but he gave him a warm look and nodded. “Nice to meet you both. I’m sorry this is so stressful, but unfortunately, I have a few questions I need to ask you both.”

  So far so good, but I wasn’t holding my breath that it would continue. “We um, understand that you got a phone call about us?”