A Soldier's Christmas

by Lexi Buchanan

  Her father had set the fire going in the hearth, which filled the room with warmth while the snow swirled around outside.

  Christmas dinner with her family had been good, better than she’d thought it would be. She was glad that her mom had already made her peace with Logan beforehand because it made things easier.

  Logan had laughed and joked with Travis and Gabe and he’d fit right in with her family. Her mom knew that she planned to move with Logan, but Emma wasn’t sure if anyone else had been told.

  There had been so much that she hadn’t told her family—so many things that Logan had encouraged her to do. She’d put off announcing the success of her books because the time hadn’t been right, or so she’d told herself. She was just nervous and needed to get it out there, and now was the time. At least, she hoped it was.

  “I have something to tell you,” she started, and felt Logan squeeze her shoulder for support before his arm slid around her…providing warmth. Travis nodded and gave her a small smile.

  “Go ahead, Emma. You’ve got this,” Travis encouraged.

  Taking in a deep breath, she said, “I write books, I no longer work in town, and I’m moving to a different state to be with Logan.” She exhaled her words on the breath, her words rushed out before she glanced around the room at the stunned faces of her family.

  The silence was broken when Travis started to roar with laughter. “Well, that’s one way of getting everything over with at once.” He wiped his eyes.

  “Travis, as the oldest, I’d have thought you’d have more control,” her mom pointed out.

  “Sorry, but I was only expecting the first. At least, right now.” Travis chuckled, and met her gaze. “Carry on.”

  Emma rolled her eyes at her brother and, with Logan’s silent support beside her, continued, “I’ve been writing books and self publishing them for a while now. I have a good following and I’ve sold more than I could have ever imagined.” She glanced nervously at her parents, but they just stared back surprised. Her father had a grin on his face, and her mom looked bewildered and had tears on her lashes. “I’ve built a career writing, and because of that I can work anywhere in the world with a Wi-Fi reception so I can follow Logan wherever his work takes him. He doesn’t have long left in the service before he’s completed his twenty years. Until he’s done, we’ll be living close to his base, and then who knows.”

  She leaned forward and placed her glass on the table before she settled back and took Logan’s hand. “All I know is that nothing has ever felt so right before. I’m truly happy...so, in a day or two, we’re heading back to Logan’s base before he has to report back on duty.”

  She’d left things out, but she just wanted to get everything out and off her chest. She could be more specific in a while once everything she’d said had sunk in.

  “You’re leaving when I’m about to have a baby?” Bree sniffled into a Kleenex while Gabe held her close. “I want you here when I give birth,” she cried.

  Emma felt her heartstrings pull with Bree’s words. She knew that Bree wouldn’t be happy, but Emma had to live her life, and Logan didn’t get a choice about where he lived until he no longer wore his uniform. “Bree,” she started, “I’m not moving out of the country, and it isn’t all that far away really. North Carolina is only a few hours flight, so I can be back here as soon as you go into labor.”

  “She’s right, babe,” Gabe adds. “She can’t put her new life on hold when Logan doesn’t get a choice.” Gabe kissed his wife.

  “I know. I’m a selfish woman, who is ten months pregnant with no end in sight,” Bree grumbled.

  Emma couldn’t help the chuckle. “Ten months, sis?”

  “I feel like a whale.” She pouted as amusement finally lit her face.

  “Regardless how you feel, Gabe can’t keep his hands off you, so stop complaining, and be happy for me.”

  “I am happy.”

  “You published your book?” her mom asked, sorrow lined her features.

  Emma nodded.

  “I’ve been a horrid mother to you these past couple of years.”

  Emma shook her head.

  “Yes, I have. It’s been one thing after another that I should have supported you with but I didn’t.” She paused to get her emotions under control. “Can you ever forgive me?”

  “Yes.” As soon as the word left her mouth, she knew that she did forgive her mom. Regardless of her mom’s reasoning behind everything, she thought she had Emma’s best interests in mind. It was reassuring that she still had her mom there to worry over her and to try to help, no matter how misaligned her help was.

  “Tell us more about your writing, honey,” her mom requested.

  Emma glanced to her father and was encouraged with his soft smile. “I self published my first book and had no idea it would take off the way that it did. I’m on my sixth book, which is out on the tenth of January. So much is happening, which is terrifying really, but I know that, with Logan by my side, I can do anything. He’s my rock.” She smiled at Logan, and nuzzled against his palm when he cupped her face.

  “I’m so proud of you,” her father said. “Do you have any of your books here?”

  Emma nodded. “Yes. They’re in my room. I write under the name of R. Logan.” She intertwined her fingers with Logan. “I couldn’t have done any of that without Logan. He encouraged and supported me from thousands of miles away.”

  “Which is what we should have done.” Her father stood and moved to stand in front of her. Emma let him pull her to her feet and wrap her in his arms. “I love you, honey, and I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you way back when. But I’m so damn proud of you.” He kissed the top of her head.

  Her father held his hand out to Logan. He stood and took it. “Thank you for being there for Emma, and please look after her.”

  “Thank you, sir. And I love your daughter, so I’ll always look after her.”

  “That’s good enough.” He clapped Logan on the shoulders. “Welcome to the family, son.”

  Emma moved into Logan’s side when she realized he fought back his emotion at her father’s words.

  After she’d accepted hugs and congratulations from her family, Emma noticed her mom was no longer in the room.

  “She slipped out,” Logan whispered.

  Emma met his gaze. “I need to talk to her.”

  “Go and find your mom.”

  Her mom, when she was upset, would always retreat to the kitchen and make herself a cup of English tea. She used to tell Emma and Bree that either a cup of tea or a hot chocolate solved everything.

  And that’s were she found her mom—sitting at the kitchen table with a tea cup in front of her, and the tea pot not too far away.

  Emma moved and sat beside her. She didn’t hesitate and covered her mom’s hand with hers. “It’s okay, Mom.”

  Her mom shook her head, fresh tears on her face. “It isn’t okay. I’m your mom, and I love you very much, but I haven’t acted like that. I’m supposed to be the one to support you and encourage you, and I didn’t. That makes me very sad, and I hate myself right now. I don’t know how you can ever forgive me.”

  Emma didn’t need to think and, as she let her own tears loose, she admitted, “Mom, I forgive you because I love you and I don’t want any more regrets between us. There has been too much in such a short time but, after today, I want to move forward. Do you think you can do that? No more regret about the past. We only look forward. I need you to do that.”

  With how distressed her mom looked, there was no way that Emma could not forgive her for everything. She’d wanted to hold onto her anger over the letters, but she just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t something she’d ever forget, but she knew that she’d eventually move past it.

  “I can do that...I think.” Her mom smiled through her tears. “I’m really proud of what you’ve done, Emma. So proud, honey.”

  “Thanks, Mom. That means a lot.” Emma stood and leaned over her mom to kiss her on the cheek.
“Let’s go back into the living room and watch a sappy Christmas movie.”

  “Okay. I think National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is on.”

  Emma chuckled. “Not sappy but it isn’t Christmas without that movie.”

  Her mom finally found amusement. “No it isn’t.”

  Chapter 24

  Logan had enjoyed himself with Emma’s family over the Christmas festivities, but they’d eventually come to an end once they’d loaded Emma’s essentials into the back of his truck. He’d known then that he’d made the right decision to purchase the truck instead of relying on a rental.

  But on day three of their journey to his base in North Carolina, they were stopping in Charlottesville, Virginia to visit with Claire, his friend Matthew’s widow, and Logan’s goddaughter, Alice.

  He’d called ahead and felt relief when Claire had sounded more herself than the previous times he’d spoken to her.

  So as he turned onto the road that led to Claire’s parents’ property, he felt excited at seeing them again, but nervous with Emma being with him. Although he’d only spoken on the phone with Claire since Matt had died, it always reopened the hole in his gut and the loss he felt. No matter how much time passed, losing his best friend would always feel fresh, as though it was only yesterday. He didn’t think he’d have it in him to act as though everything was okay for Emma, after his visit, which was why he felt nervous.

  At the last thought, he felt Emma’s hand as she placed it onto his thigh, and just let it rest against him. “It’s okay, Logan.” She squeezed his thigh. “You’re not alone anymore, and I’m here for you no matter what.”

  He pulled the truck to a stop beside the one he recognized as Claire’s, and took hold of Emma’s hand. He kissed her fingers. “Thank you.”

  She offered him a soft smile. “Come on. I can see Alice on the porch waiting for you.”

  He turned his head and spotted his eight-year-old goddaughter, hovering.

  Emma removed her hand and climbed out of the truck while he sat there like a lemon. She walked around to his side and opened his door. “Logan?”

  “I’m okay.” He sighed, and climbed out before he took hold of Emma’s hand again, it was his lifeline. “Or I will be.”

  “You’ve got this.”

  He wasn’t sure he had.

  Before he could think, Alice jumped from the porch steps and started running toward him.

  He let go of Emma and wrapped his arms around his goddaughter when she buried her face against his chest.

  “I knew you’d come,” she whispered, and looked up at him, tears on her lashes. “Daddy isn’t coming home.”

  His heart broke. What the hell was he supposed to say? He tried to breathe through his own sorrow, which was close to the surface at Alice’s whispered words. He was over emotional anyway with the visit, but his goddaughter really did break his heart.

  It was the comfort of Emma’s hand on his back that helped him pull himself together.

  “I know, sweetheart.” He dipped his head and rested his chin against the top of Alice’s head while he held her in his embrace.

  He glanced up and caught sight of Claire as she waited where her daughter had been when they arrived—at the top of the porch steps—with her hand covering her mouth. He knew without getting closer that she was crying softly.

  “Alice,” he asked, “would you show my girlfriend, Emma, your horse while I talk to your mom?”

  “Yes.” She pulled out of his arms and, after a few sniffles, smiled at Emma.

  “Do you want to see my new horse? I’ve named her Buttercup,” Alice asked, looking at Emma.

  “You okay with that?” Logan asked. The last thing he wanted was for Emma to feel like he was getting rid of her.

  “I love horses,” Emma replied, and reached up to kiss his cheek. “I love you.”

  Emma held her hand out to Alice. “I’m Emma and can’t wait to meet Buttercup.”

  Alice slipped her hand into Emma’s and tugged her toward the stables while he turned and faced Claire.

  Matt had loved Claire since the moment he’d met her in high school, and over the years, his love for her hadn’t wavered. She was all he’d talk about when they were on deployment, and they were inseparable when they were on home soil. He couldn’t begin to imagine what Claire must be going through having lost her soul mate.

  As he walked toward her, she moved toward him and they met in the middle of the path. Claire’s face broke on a sob and Logan tugged her into his arms. He held her tight and let his own tears flow at the heartache he heard behind Claire’s.

  While they stood on the front path, Logan had no idea how long they stayed like they were, or whether anyone else saw them, but he really didn’t care.

  “I’m sobbing all over you,” Claire whispered, and pulled back to look up at him. “I’m glad you’re here...and with the Emma.” She offered him a small smile.

  “Yeah,” he blew out a breath and looked around him, “she really is my Emma. I love her, Claire.”

  “Matt told me you fell in love with her through her letters.”

  No way!

  “He did not.”

  Claire laughed and it sounded good to his ears. “He did. I told him that I’d tease you about her...I miss him, Logan. So much.”

  “I know.” He tugged her against his side and walked her up the porch steps to the rocking chairs he’d spotted. “How are you really doing?” He smiled as he sat beside her. “And don’t just say ‘fine’, which is all you’ve been saying over the phone.”

  “It’s difficult. I keep expecting to see him walk up the front path even though I know that isn’t going to happen. I’m not as bad as I was at first, but some days, I feel more numb than others. It helps having Alice.” She shrugged, and looked off toward the barn. “I’m happy for you, Logan.” She met his gaze, changing the subject. “You’ve been alone for a long time, and you’ve needed a good woman by your side.” She smiled, softly. “Matt would have ridden your ass about her for years. You know that, right?”

  “I know. I would have deserved it as well considering how much I rode his about you...often.” He chuckled.

  “I can imagine...I was really nervous when you called saying you were going to visit. But now, I don’t know why I was. I feel just as comfortable with you as I always did. Matt thought of you as his brother, and loved you like one, just like I do...what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to be a stranger, Logan. I know it’s going to be difficult to be around us without Matt, just like it will be for us, but you’re family.” Claire reached out and clutched his hand.

  Although it still hurt and probably always would, it felt good to sit with Claire and talk, which is how he found the strength to promise Claire, “I’ll always be here if you need me, and even when you don’t,” he grinned, “but I need you to know that I won’t just be doing it because of a promise that I made to Matt. You’re both family to me as well, and I need you to understand that.”

  Claire nodded. “Tell me what your plans are with Emma.”

  “I should have known you wouldn’t let the Emma conversation pass.” He chuckled.

  “You’re avoiding the subject.” She smirked.

  “I’m not really...She’s amazing Claire, and she’s such a talented writer, and Matt was right. I did fall in love with her through her letters, but I love the real woman now. We’re going to find somewhere to live together to see my twenty out and then we can settle anywhere...and yes, I’m going to marry her...I haven’t asked her yet, so don’t give my plans away.” He laughed at how much he was saying. Usually he didn’t share information with people, but if you can’t share your happiness with your family, who could you share it with?

  “I won’t, and I better receive an invite to your wedding.”

  “You will...sis.”

  At his words, Claire sniffled and dabbed at her tears. “Ignore me. Let’s go to the stables and you can introduce me to Emma.”

  “
I’d like that.”

  Chapter 25

  New Year had come and gone a week ago as Emma stood in the living room of their temporary home. Logan had been back on base for that week, and they’d signed a ten-month lease for the house the day before. The afternoon had been spent with moving their belongings inside. They didn’t have all that much stuff, but she discovered just how much she loved setting up home after their trip to home depot.

  She had plans to romance her handsome man to celebrate their new home, which was why they’d turned his friends invite to meet for drinks down. Logan had told her that they might go down to his favorite bar when he was ready to share her. He wanted to introduce her to some of his buddies and their wives so that she wasn’t so alone when he was on base.

  She liked the idea, but she was more of a loner, which was why she’d get lost in her own stories.

  As she thought about her next book, she spotted Logan watching her from the kitchen. “Hey babe, what’s up?” Emma asked as he closed the distance between them.

  “Nothing’s up...at least, not yet.” He grinned.

  Emma rolled her eyes, and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I want to dance with you in here before the furniture arrives tomorrow,” she offered a wicked grin, “and we’ll see how long it takes to get it up.” She smirked.

  He laughed. “It won’t take long for us to christen the house.”

  “That I do believe...give me a minute.” She pulled out of his arms, and fiddled with her cell while she felt his eyes on her.

  She’d pulled a long shirt on after her shower, and she felt his eyes wander up and down her legs.

  She loved to tease him, and he was about to be one lucky guy.

  Setting her cell phone down as soft music played from it, she wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck as his arms went around her waist and pulled her close. Just the feel of him against her had arousal coursing through her body. She smiled when his hands slipped to her bottom and gripped her shirt. As he pulled the shirt higher, he dipped down with a hand and caressed her naked bottom.