To Light and Guard

by Piper Hannah

  “You can be an alien specie, an explorer in the Andromeda Galaxy. You will be responsible for colonizing five different planets for your alien specie. Doesn’t that sound fascinating?”

  Oh… to actually live in a galaxy far, far away. To be an alien. To have a great adventure. My mouth watered a bit, and I hoped I wasn’t drooling from the want.

  I thought about it for three good, long seconds. Again, I shook my head. “No.” I didn’t need any more options. If anything, just thinking about being in another galaxy only made me realize where I really wanted to go: Good ol’ Los Angeles... inside Paige Harper’s body. My home.

  “I haven’t finished living my last life,” I said. Or the one before that, but whatever. Who was counting lives, right? And seriously, I’m not all that bitter about it.

  The girl gestured towards the rows of books.

  “Any of these is a possibility,” she said with frustration. She was looking at me as if I were giving up some great opportunity. Maybe I am, but the only real life I wanted was the one I just had. Hopefully, it was still there.

  CHAPTER 32

  “This rarely happens,” the dead girl said, “at least not to me. Usually, souls just come and take advantage of the situation.” She closed her eyes for a while. Then, her eyes snapped back open as if she just had a brilliant idea. I almost saw a light bulb light up on the top of her red head.

  “Your book is sort of half-checked out,” she said. “It’s not going to be in this library because you’re sort of in a very strange place right now.”

  Tell me about it.

  “Let’s fully check me out, then,” I said.

  The girl started walking again in the direction we just came from. “Come on. Follow me.”

  I groaned. “Is there a bus, or something?” I asked because we sure did a lot of walking around here. I was getting very tired, and I was wearing flip flops. I am so not used to this. I’m from L.A, and unless we’re walking our dogs, nobody really walks in L.A.

  “No. There is no bus.”

  “How about any other mode of public transportation?” Seriously. I’d probably ride a unicycle if this place had one.

  “No,” said the dead girl.

  Okay, then. Moving on…

  Hours later, we finally reached our second and hopefully, our last destination. I stared at the ten bookshelves in front of us.

  “Small selection you’ve got here,” I said.

  “Come on. Let’s go find your book.”

  The girl walked around the bookshelves while occasionally looking at the front of the bookshelves. Each book had a name in gold ink on the binding, and I helped her look for my name.

  “It’s not organized by alphabet,” she said. “Ah, here it is.” She went up on her tiptoes. Reaching up, she picked out a white book. I held my breath. This was a very special book: It was hardback, about four inches thick, and the best part about it? It was mine.

  “Gimme it,” I said, reaching for my book with eager hands.

  “Not if you want to go back,” the dead girl said as she held the book out of my reach. “Paige, the best part of living any life is that your future is unknown. If I give this to you and allow you to read it, how could you possibly want to go back when you already know your ending?”

  “Okay,” I said, “but only because you actually make sense.” It’s like watching the ending of a movie first. Who wants to do that?

  The girl flipped through the book, running her fingers on the pages. “I can speed read. That’s why I’m here. It’s useful sometimes.”

  I nodded. Well and good. She walks slow, but she reads fast. Makes no sense.

  “Who wrote my book, anyway?” I asked.

  “That would be Fate.”

  Well, of course. That makes so much sense. Fate seemed to be the answer to all of my questions. Why was I born? Fate. Why did I die? Well, that would be Fate. Why am I here? You got it… Fate.

  Maybe I could make some suggestions to Fate, like skip the entire book and go directly to the big screen. That way, Fate can sell me some popcorn and nachos while I watch my life unfold on screen instead of reading it from a book… and James Cameron can direct my movie. Just a thought.

  “I think the white books are the most dull,” the girl said. Wait! Did she just call me dull? No, she didn’t! I was just going to say something very witty, but the girl raised her index finger up in the air.

  “Hold on,” she said. Then, she looked at me, with her eyes all big and round. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

  Bingo. “So, send me back. I just want to be Paige Harper again.” I didn’t know if what I was asking was even possible, but I really wanted to go back.

  The girl closed my book and placed it back on the shelf. There was a book sitting next to mine on the shelf that caught my attention. It was sparkling, and it was silver. I read the name in gold ink: Wyatt Mason. I watched in awe as the book attached itself to mine on a bookshelf; it was like a magnet.

  “Who’s Wyatt Mason?” I asked.

  But the girl ignored me.

  “Hello,” I said. “Who’s Wyatt Mason?”

  The girl shook her head.

  “The book next to mine,” I said as I pointed to the book in question. “Who is Wyatt Mason?” Our books now looked like they were bound together; they were one.

  “Paige, you are not supposed to know. The best thing about life is the surprise. Just leave it, okay?”

  I sighed. Being in the Library sure is exasperating.

  “Fine,” I said, but I made a mental note to Google Wyatt Mason the minute I got back.

  “Are you really from L.A.?”

  I nodded. “Look it,” I said, pointing to the word ‘Lakers’ on my black hooded sweatshirt.

  “I could probably send you back,” the girl said, “but you need to do something when you get back to L.A.”

  “Anything.”

  The dead girl smiled, and she gave me a set of instructions that she made me commit to memory. “Promise me that you will do this for me, Paige.”

  “I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die again.” I made a mark over my heart with one index finger and grinned.

  She stared at me as she still debated sending me back. Seriously, I didn’t know what else she was worried about. I wasn’t supposed to be here. It seemed like I’ve been in this place far too long already, and I needed to go back to my family... and to Luke.

  Even in this place, I know that my love for Luke was real. I remember loving him in two of my lifetimes. I waited a thousand years to see him again, and it wasn’t fair that our time together was always cut short.

  “I need to go back. Send me back,” I said, “please.”

  And luckily, even in the Library, the word ‘please’ was still the magic word.

  CHAPTER 33

  I fell out of the sky face down. It was a bit like sky diving, but without a parachute. Hold on. Let me get back to you on that. I touched my back and sighed. Yes, unfortunately, I was right. I definitely do not have a parachute. That would be because I didn’t jump out of the plane; it was more like I was shoved out of the library.

  During my free fall, my emotions finally kicked in. What perfect timing, right? I hurtled downward into the earth - faster than gravity – and I now felt pure terror. My fear was mighty, it was strong, and it tingled all through me. So, I did what any normal dead girl would do in this situation. I screamed, and believe me, it was loud enough to wake up the dead.

  The sun was rising. It was morning. From the sky, I saw my country...

  My state…

  My city…

  My street…

  My house…

  Still screaming, I realized that I was going to crash into the roof of my house. Can the dead die? (Let me get back to you on that one.)

  I was going to crash land in 5…4…I closed my eyes…3…2… my arms automatically went up to shield my face… and ahhhh 1. Aaargh!!!.

  I hit something, but I didn’t go splat.
It wasn’t even painful, more like a strong gust of wind.

  Then poof, just like magic, I was undead again.

  Again.

  CHAPTER 34

  The first thing I felt was the strong beat of my heart. It was so loud that I could almost physically hear it. I savored the feeling. Keeping my eyes closed, I concentrated on the beat. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. I knew exactly where I was. I was back in Paige Harper’s body. I am back as Paige Harper. Thank you, thank you, dead girl.

  I was still freaked out with my death/near-death experience, but I was so happy to be back that there were actual tears of happiness in my eyes. I’m home.

  Through the haze, I heard Emma’s piercing screams. My eyes popped open, and I looked at Emma’s face. I was lying on the kitchen floor, and Emma was holding a rag on my left wrist.

  “Emma, I’m okay,” I said, pushing myself up into a seated position. “I’m okay.” I pulled my left arm from her grasp, and looked at my wrist. “See,” I said, showing her my wrist. “I’m not bleeding.”

  I think I got through to her because she stopped screaming. Unfortunately, I had a really ugly scab now forming on my left wrist, but it was still better than bleeding. I don’t know how I know this little fact, but I was only dead for five seconds. It seemed longer though, right?

  Then, I heard footsteps running towards us. That’s how my parents found us. I was still on the floor, with a shocked Emma staring at me, and here’s the best part - there was blood on me and all over the kitchen floor.

  I groaned. There was no getting out of this one. I am most definitely busted. “A demon killed me,” I said quickly before anyone can get a word in. Of course, no one was really talking. I think they were all in shock. All of the blood on the floor was a bit hard to take in. “I mean, tried to kill me… A demon tried to kill me,” I explained. Yes, that sounded so much better.

  My mom dropped to her knees next to me, and pulled me into her arms. She was shaking. “Oh, Mom,” I said. “I’m okay now.” I was all choked up with emotion. I really missed her. Actually, I missed everyone. I never thought I’d ever see any of them again.

  I looked around, but I didn’t see my Guardian. Where was Luke? Why is he not here? I wanted to talk to him more than ever. I’m sure he heard Emma’s screams, and I’m sure he was worried about me.

  My Dad’s shocked face made me want to confess. I think this is the first time in my life that I’ve ever seen him stunned into silence. Since I was in truth-telling mode, and I had just admitted to seeing a demon, I finally told them the truth. “Actually, I can see my guardian angel. That’s how this whole thing started. Then, a demon came after me,” I said. That’s about it really - in a nut shell.

  My mom was still hugging me, and over her shoulder, I looked at Emma. She was still terrified with her eyes all bugged out. I tried smiling for her benefit, but the effort was wasted. I couldn’t even fake a smile.

  “I’m okay,” I said, staring at Emma. Her shoulders slumped, and her whole expression changed. She had a worried look on her face, and she looked much older. Great. Apparently, I now had the power to age people.

  “I believe you,” Emma said softly.

  Good girl. I knew she would. We had a history together - her and I - and we had a bond like no other. We really are sisters forever – literally.

  “I believe you, too,” Mom said as she finally let go of me. She sat on the floor next to me and held my hand.

  Now, that was a surprise. I mean, why would she believe me with such a crazy story? I sure wouldn’t. Buffy sat right in front of me, and I could tell that she didn't really care what happened to me as long as I was still breathing; she's very simple like that. I looked at Dad with hope. He was the last member of my awesome family that needed to get on-board.

  Dad shook his head. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and rubbed his forehead. Finally, he sighed. “I think we all need to see a psychiatrist,” he said.

  I glared at him. My Mom and Emma glared at him, too. Fine. If that’s what he really wanted.

  “Me first,” I said.

  I got up. I felt a little woozy, but I managed to get on my feet. “I need to take a shower,” I said. So, the psychiatrist will definitely have to wait. I was still wearing the same clothes I died in, and there was the blood on the floor to clean up. The three of them kept looking at me as I walked away. I smiled. I am so happy right now. I love all of them so much. I really am home.

  Mom and Dad left me alone after that, at least, for a little while. Even Buffy stayed in the kitchen. Emma, however, was something else entirely. Walking away from her didn’t mean a thing. She followed me all the way back to my bathroom and watched me as I washed the blood off of my hands. Then, she followed me to my bedroom and watched me as I took some clean clothes from a drawer. She was like my shadow.

  “Excuse me,” I said, walking back to the bathroom. Seriously, I needed to take a shower, but I also had to be a little patient with Emma for a while. I'm pretty sure that she suffered some trauma because of this. “Can I have a little privacy please?” I asked.

  “You want to say something to me?” she asked, all confrontational-like, and her arms were crossed against her chest. I knew she wasn’t talking about the cut on my wrist anymore. She was talking about something much, much deeper.

  I sighed. I knew it can’t be this easy. “Not yet,” I said.

  “Paige, you died.”

  My eyes widened. I didn’t know she knew about that. She never said anything earlier. As far as conversations go, this was probably the most serious we've ever had.

  “I know,” I said slowly, “but how do you know that?”

  “Umm…maybe because you weren’t breathing… or maybe because you had no pulse… or maybe because you were DEAD.” Emma glared at me. She leaned on the sink, getting comfortable.

  “Emma, let me talk to you about this later, okay? I’m still trying to figure out what happened, and my whole body is still buzzing with adrenaline.” This is true. I feel like I should be bouncing off the walls right now. Being ejected from the Library kind of had that effect, I guess.

  “You made it to the Library, didn’t you?”

  I stared at her in shock, blinking rapidly several times. I was cornered in the bathroom, and she was waiting for a response. I suppose I owed her that much for what she witnessed today.

  “Yes,” I said a little bit confused. “You remember the Library?”

  She nodded. “Some of it.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? This is really important stuff, and you decide to keep it to yourself?” Even as I said it, I felt bad. If anyone kept anything to herself, it was me. In the last few months, I had become the master of secrets.

  “I kept trying, but you never really listened. I get these memories somehow… when I’m drunk, you know, but only when I’m drunk. It’s all hazy, but they’re my memories. I just couldn’t piece it together. How did we get to the Library in the first place? Do you know?”

  “We died.”

  “I know that part, but how?”

  I paused, debating on whether I should tell my sister anything more. Emma was looking at me as if she wasn’t letting this go.

  “We were burned at the stake for being witches many, many years ago… like a thousand years ago,” I said reluctantly. I was going to stop there. The rest she can remember on her own, and maybe she’ll be safer… and happier. The memory was quite traumatic. Even I didn’t want to remember that past.

  Emma’s eyes widened. “Really?” she said excitedly. “Were we really witches?”

  “No. But they killed us, anyway. It was a large mob of stupid villagers. They had pitch forks, torches, and everything… and they smelled really bad.”

  She was silent for a while, thinking about the possibility. Yes, I thought about it, too. Witches had powers. It would be really cool to have powers.

  “We were not witches back then, and we are not witches now,” I said. “We don’t have any powers,
okay? Now, can I please take a shower?”

  “Killjoy,” Emma said. She was silent for a minute. “Another thing I can’t figure out. How did you end up being the older sister? I don’t think I would have ever agreed to that.”

  I shook my head. This again. I don’t know why Emma just can’t let it go. I was born first a thousand years ago, and I was born first eighteen years ago. Big deal.

  “I think I died first,” I said.

  “Still doesn’t seem fair. I think it would’ve been better if I were the older sister,” she muttered.

  Maybe next time around.

  Emma took another long look at me, and then she walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Oh, thank God. I wasn’t ready to talk to her about angels and demons - at least, not until I speak to Luke. I wasn’t lying when I told her that I needed to figure out what happened. Currently, it was on the top of my ‘to do’ list.

  As far as Emma was concerned, it was enough for me to know that we made it back together, back as sisters again, because that was how it was meant to be.

  CHAPTER 35

  Still wearing my bloody clothes, I turned the shower on. I waited a few minutes. Then, I opened the bathroom door, peeking out. When I didn’t see anyone in the hallway, I quickly snuck out of the bathroom. Quietly, I tiptoed down the stairs, and snuck out of the back door. I could hear my parents in the kitchen. I think they were cleaning the blood from the kitchen floor. I really should help them, but I have more important things to do right now.

  It was early morning, and the sun was rising. I saw Luke lying on the ground, facing the sky, his eyes closed. Joshua was kneeling next to him.

  “Luke,” I said as I ran towards him. He didn’t move. Why didn’t he move?

  I crouched next to him and saw a gaping wound on his chest. His blood was everywhere. I touched his chest and felt his warmth… his blood. Stunned, I looked at Joshua. “What’s wrong with him? Heal him,” I said.