When he was spent, seemingly also too exhausted to move, she gave a tug on her hands. She wanted to stroke her fingertips over his back and shoulders. Soothe him. Let him know she was with him through her touch. Everything would be okay.
But Xavier didn’t let her go. He continued to hold her wrists, not moving off her or sliding out of her.
She accepted his weight, relishing in the way it made her feel cocooned. Protected. Loved. It seemed like a long time went by while she lay there absorbing his warmth, hoping she was also transferring whatever he needed from her. She would’ve thought he’d fallen asleep if not for the tight grip on her wrists.
Finally, he took a deep breath, released her hands, and lifted onto his elbows, straddling the sides of her head. He stared down at her, his brows still drawn together. Serious. He searched her face and then stroked his thumbs over her cheeks.
Why did it feel like he was saying goodbye?
She held her breath, trying to chase that thought out of her mind.
He was under a lot of stress. The beginning of his season was not a good time for his brother to go to jail, his brother’s girlfriend to die, and his father to hound him about misplaced family responsibility.
While he continued to stare at her, seemingly memorizing her features, she was forced to let another thought enter her mind. What about me? She was only twenty-two, and though she hadn’t known him long, a few hours ago she would’ve said Xavier was it for her.
But a baby? She would have to think long and hard about the level of commitment required to be involved with a man who suddenly found himself at least partially responsible for a child.
Xavier’s heavily lidded eyes slowly closed, and he slid from her body. “Don’t move,” he commanded.
She continued to lie there, her arms above her head, her legs splayed open. A chill shook her body as he disappeared into the bathroom and then returned with a washcloth. When he climbed back between her legs and gently wiped away their lovemaking, she nearly cried.
She had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from becoming an emotional wreck.
He cared deeply for her. There was no doubt. Even pissed as hell, he’d seen to her needs, ensured she reached orgasm first.
In a perfect world, the two of them would be laughing and drinking and enjoying a night out with friends or family. This imperfect world was somber and frightening.
Ava vowed not to speak, and it would seem Xavier had made the same decision. When he was done taking care of her, he tossed the cloth to the floor, crawled up beside her, and hauled her back against his front.
He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her own arms against her chest. A leg tossed over both of hers immobilized her. After kissing her neck gently, he relaxed at her back.
She listened to his breathing for a long time until she was sure he was asleep, and then she let herself drift off with him.
Chapter Fifteen
A doorbell pulled Ava out of a deep sleep. It took a moment for it to register, and then she rolled onto her back. She was alone in the bed. How had she slept so hard that she didn’t notice Xavier releasing her?
She pulled herself to sitting, her neck stiff from sleeping so long on her side. Where was Xavier? She listened closely but heard no sounds coming from anywhere.
As she swung her legs over the side of the bed, the doorbell rang again. Weird. Why didn’t Xavier answer it?
She glanced at the clock. It was only eight in the morning. Grabbing one of his T-shirts off the floor and then finding her panties, she hurried to make herself halfway presentable.
Again the doorbell rang.
She rushed from the room and took the stairs two at a time, although she had no idea why since there was little chance she would open the door to anyone, and certainly not if the person was Carlos or a stranger. Which left few options.
A look in the peephole told her it was Lucita. She pulled the door open quickly. “Hey. I’m so sorry. Come in.” She backed up to let Xavier’s mother get by and then glanced down and cringed at her attire. “Sorry. I was sound asleep.”
Lucita’s face was red. She’d been crying. “It’s okay, dear. My fault. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was hoping to talk to Xavier before he left for the ballpark this morning.”
Ava blew out a breath and spun around as she shut the door. “I don’t think he’s here.” She headed toward the kitchen.
“I shouldn’t have been so persistent. I thought maybe he just didn’t want to see me.”
Ava found a note on the island under a mug that had a dry tea bag draped over the side. She couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. No matter where he was or why he was absent, he’d at least been thoughtful enough to leave her favorite morning beverage ready to go.
Ava, I needed to think. Please don’t be mad. This has nothing to do with you. Stay. Come to the game. Stay with me. Xavier
She lifted her gaze toward Lucita as the note fell out of her fingers back onto the counter. “He left early, I guess.”
Lucita nodded. She looked like she was fighting the urge to cry, even though she’d done so already for hours.
Ava crossed toward her and motioned for the sofa. “Sit. Let me get you something to drink. Tea? Coffee?”
Lucita took a deep breath and pulled a tissue from her purse as she lowered onto the edge of the sofa. “Tea would be great. Thank you.”
Ava scurried around making a cup of Earl Grey for both of them. Within minutes, she headed for the living room area and handed Lucita a steaming mug. She took a seat across from Xavier’s mother and tucked her bare legs under her.
Lucita met her gaze. “I’m sorry. This isn’t your problem. I shouldn’t be here crying to you.”
“No. Goodness. Don’t worry. I’m glad I’m here. What can I do?”
“I’m just exhausted. I couldn’t sleep. How did my life get so out of control? I raised my sons to be well-adjusted members of society. And yet one of them is lost to drugs and won’t see the light of day for several decades, and the other is stubborn as a mule.” She gave a wan smile.
“Hopefully, he’ll come around,” Ava suggested.
Lucita shrugged. “In the meantime, I need to go pick up a baby and bring him back here. I also need to visit my son. I haven’t seen him for a long time.” She rubbed her forehead with shaky fingers.
Ava swallowed. There was no doubt this situation was a mess. “Did Eliza truly have no family?”
Lucita shook her head. “No. Apparently, she had no one. And she was desperate after Juan went to jail. She had nowhere to go.”
“Will they let you bring the baby back here easily?”
She nodded. “Yes. Doug practices family law. Thank God. He’s going to make some calls to get an emergency guardianship.” She glanced at her watch. “My flight’s at four o’clock.”
“And Doug can’t go with you?” Ava couldn’t imagine Lucita going by herself.
“No. He’s in the middle of a huge case. He can’t leave.” She sighed. “I’ll be fine. I’m being silly.”
“You shouldn’t go alone.”
She smiled warmly, sucking in a deep breath. “You would think at least my damn ex would go, but no. He doesn’t want to deal with all this any more than Xavier. That’s probably why he was here in the first place, trying to get someone to take Eliza and the baby off his hands. He let Eliza stay in his home, but he didn’t take any further responsibility. And now I can’t even reach him today.”
Ava imagined he was off somewhere nursing a hangover. She had to assume that at some point Carlos hadn’t been as big of an asshole. Lucita seemed way too level-headed to have married a man as messed up as Carlos was today.
She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, thinking about her responsibilities. She had returned edits to a client the day before. Finding a job that would pay the bills was her top priority, but it could wait a few more days.
A vision of her own parents kept flitting through her mind, making her shudder. She’d been
left alone in the world at the age of six. No. Not alone. Lily had taken her in and raised her. What if Lily had been too selfish to raise a child? “I’ll go with you,” she blurted.
Lucita startled. “What? No. Oh goodness. I couldn’t ask you to do that.” She waved a hand through the air.
“You didn’t ask. I offered. You need someone with you. It’s stressful. You’re alone.” Ava hopped off the couch, determined to get a shower and get herself organized.
Lucita stood also. “Ava… Xavier will have a fit.”
She grinned at Lucita before she bounded up the stairs. “He needs a kick in the butt. This oughta do it. Besides, some time apart might help him see things more reasonably.”
“You’re sure? This sounds like the worst idea in the history of ideas. When he left last night, he was furious. Did he have a change of heart?”
Ava shook her head, still holding on to the banister, one foot on the step. “I think he was hurting too badly to talk about it last night.”
“He’s already mad at his father. I can’t imagine what wrath he might take out on me if I drag his girlfriend to Puerto Rico.” She set her hand on her chest, her face scrunched up.
Ava smiled. “Guess we’ll find out.” She turned and ran up the stairs. Twenty minutes later, she descended with her overnight bag.
“Doug called and booked you on the same flight.”
“Oh good. I was just going to call. I can write him a check.”
“Don’t even think about it. You’re doing me a huge favor.” She rinsed out her mug and stuck it in Xavier’s dishwasher. And then she leaned against the counter, wiping her hands on a towel. “Are you sure about this? Xavier…”
“Xavier needs to get over himself and see reason. I could understand why he was pissed at his dad. It was totally unreasonable for Carlos to expect Xavier to marry some woman he’s never met and take in her baby. But the situation changed.”
“Are you going to call him?”
Ava thought about it, dropping her bag on the floor next to the island. She considered the options. Then she picked up the pen, flipped over the note he’d left her, and wrote one of her own on the back.
Xavier, please don’t be mad at me, either. I totally understand how stressful this is, and I don’t blame you for needing time to process. Call me when you figure it all out. Ava
She stared at it for a moment and then set the pen down. She was taking a risk by not mentioning she was leaving for Puerto Rico. Would he be mad when he found out? If he was pissed and this was a deal breaker, better to know sooner rather than later. At least she would’ve done a good deed for a grandmother in pain.
Finally, she straightened. “I have my car here. I should drive it back to Miami. Would you mind if we stopped by my apartment so I can repack my bag?”
“Of course. Give me your address. I’ll meet you there, and we’ll head for the airport together.”
The next several hours were spent driving. Ava waited a while and then called her sister to fill her in on the details. Lily was shocked, but she understood. And she agreed not to mention anything to Dominic or anyone else until much later in the day. The last thing Ava wanted was for Xavier to know of her plans before he got on the field.
As it was, Ava grew nervous with every passing hour when she didn’t hear from Xavier at all. He could have texted or called at some point. She had no idea where he’d gone so early in the morning or even what time he’d left, but no communication at all stressed her out.
Instead of worrying about things she couldn’t control, she put her energy into helping Lucita cope with what lay ahead.
By the time they made it through the airport, boarded the plane, and arrived in Puerto Rico, Ava was in awe of Lucita’s strength and strong personality. She realized that under normal circumstances, the woman was formidable.
Lucita had led an interesting life, and she held her head high talking about it.
Ava spent most of the day listening to Lucita, who she realized needed to keep a running dialogue to avoid succumbing to the stress of her thoughts. This trip wasn’t going to be fun. She needed to face a son behind bars she hadn’t seen in a long time and pick up a baby she was completely unprepared to care for.
Lucita had several messages and texts from Doug when they landed that evening.
Ava had nothing. She cringed as she pondered what Xavier must have thought when he read her note. Ignoring the stab of pain that accompanied his total lack of contact with her, she followed Lucita out of the airport and into the warm evening air.
It took a while to get through the bustling city to their hotel, but after they dropped their bags off, they headed out to get dinner.
Ava took in every sight, wishing this trip didn’t have to be so somber. It was a beautiful city, and she vowed to return someday under better circumstances. Happier times.
She cringed as she considered whether she might be in the company of Xavier for this future trip and shook his total lack of contact out of her head.
Dinner was delicious, and both of them were exhausted when they returned to the hotel. After a shower, Ava slid between the sheets in the bed on the far side of the room and took her phone out.
Regardless of Xavier’s obvious stubborn streak, she sent him a text.
Hope your game went well. Thinking of you.
She wanted to add that she would see him in a few days, but with each passing hour, that seemed less likely.
He had every right to brood and stomp. And he could take several days to do so. But ignoring her and even his mother was getting on Ava’s nerves.
* * *
Xavier sat in his dark living room staring at nothing. He’d been sitting there for several hours, ever since he’d gotten home and read Ava’s note.
So many emotions ran through his head he couldn’t focus on one for long enough to process it before another took over.
Half of him considered drinking a fifth of vodka straight out of the bottle. The other half didn’t have the energy to attempt to mask his feelings by walking to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle.
He ran his hands through his hair for the millionth time and sighed. He should text Ava. He should text his mother. Hell, he should call them both. But he couldn’t bring himself to pull the phone out of his pocket.
He’d gotten Ava’s short text and managed to stare at it for a long time as if not fully comprehending the words. He had no idea what to say to her. She’d been so curt. And where the hell was she? He was surprised and annoyed that she’d left Jupiter. Sure, he had been a bit of a dick, but he thought she understood. If she ran again, he didn’t think he could take it. He wouldn’t, actually. He didn’t have the energy to follow her.
Of course, he’d also avoided her by leaving an equally annoying note early that morning and fleeing the house so he wouldn’t have to talk to her about anything that mattered.
He was beyond grateful for what she’d done for him last night, allowing him to stay inside himself and basically use her for sexual release. He felt sick about how he’d handled things. He hadn’t had any intention of having sex with her, but when she’d come into the condo all comforting and quiet and permitted him to express himself the only way he could at the time…
He winced, remembering the way she’d looked at him for the only moment he’d paused to meet her gaze—long enough to make sure she gave consent. The relief that washed over him when she’d pleaded with him to fuck her had penetrated deeply.
But had it been fair? Probably not. He’d taken from her without giving back. Not that she didn’t come. Her orgasm was spectacular to witness as usual. But he knew she needed more from him emotionally. And he’d held it back, unwilling or unable to communicate anything.
He’d been a coward, afraid she would start nagging him like his father had. Basically, he hadn’t had the energy to argue the topic anymore that night. Bless her for keeping her mouth shut and not forcing the issue.
She’d slept so peacefully, and as h
e’d stared down at her in the early morning light, he’d thought himself to be the luckiest man alive. Could it last?
Could it withstand the test of soul-sucking shit happening in his private life?
He was angry with her for leaving without talking to him. He was angry with her for leaving at all. He was also glad he wasn’t holding a glass in his hand because at least six times in the last hour he would’ve launched it across the room in frustration.
Why would she take off when things were tough? She knew what he was going through, and she left? This was the third time she’d walked away from him, and he didn’t have the energy to chase her this time, especially if she was judging him for his refusal to jump on the save-Juan-from-his-problems bandwagon.
His mind wandered from Ava to his brother.
How many years had Xavier been alienated from Juan? Ten? He hadn’t even spoken to him in six. He remembered that Christmas. The one when Juan had been relatively clean for a few months and Xavier had gone to Puerto Rico to spend the holiday with his father and brother. They’d had a wonderful time together. Two solid weeks of fun that reminded him of childhood summers with their father in Puerto Rico.
Juan had stayed clean for only another week after Xavier left. As far as Xavier knew, Juan had never been clean since then for any stretch of time.
Fuck.
This situation was so damn fucked up.
Xavier recognized he was standing at a fork in the road. The choices he made in the next few days would affect his entire life.
Ava. Damn. The sweetest, most perfect woman he’d ever met. How had he gotten so lucky? And why the hell had fate put her in his path right as his world crumbled?
She deserved better than him. Better than a man who refused to face his problems and deal with them. Better than a man who fucked her hard without saying a word last night and then left her asleep in his bed, too much of a coward to look her in the eye. Better than a man who would sit in the dark all evening ignoring his mother and his girlfriend.
Catching Ava (Spring Training Book 3) Page 16
