He should call her or at least text, but he needed to lose some of the anger first, or he was likely to say things he couldn’t take back. He also wasn’t in the mood for a speech about how everyone else thought he should react to this latest news.
The baby. Shit. He realized rationally the little boy wasn’t at fault for any of this. But Xavier was nursing a huge anger toward his brother for being so irresponsible. He also couldn’t help feeling pissed off that in a twisted way, his father had gotten what he wanted—for Xavier to step up and take over.
Sure, his mother would take the baby in, but for how long? She couldn’t be expected to do it alone. Xavier would be a total asshole to leave her to raise a child on her own at this stage of life. He understood that rationally, but at the moment, Xavier wasn’t fit to be a parent. He worked long hours out of town half the year. And when he was home, he still worked long hours. His career was at its peak, and everything was in alignment.
Why didn’t anyone understand the implications of Xavier bowing to his father’s insanity and bailing his brother out once again? If he went to Puerto Rico for the funeral and brought Juan’s baby back to the States with him, his father’s smug face would haunt him for years. The man’s perception of right and wrong was warped. Xavier couldn’t imagine even partly giving in to his demands. Never mind that Eliza was no longer living. Carlos would undoubtedly take every opportunity he got to rub her death in Xavier’s face for the rest of his life. Blaming him for the sins of his brother, essentially.
He shuddered, fisted his hands, and screamed out in frustration. “Fuck.”
Was Ava judging him for all this? Was that why she left? She wanted him to figure out what a dick he was and change his tune? Fuck, he didn’t need that. He had his father for the role of judge. The last thing he needed was a woman in his life who raised her brows every time he moved. Nope. If that was the case, he needed to cut loose of Ava fast.
He finally took a deep breath and shoved off the couch to head upstairs. Maybe he could sleep away his problems.
Not bothering to turn on the lights, he stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed. He stared at the ceiling forever. As he lay there, his mind raced, forcing him to see the other side of the coin. All he could picture was Ava’s expressions. Smiling. Giggling. The intensity on her face when she worried about her job or spoke about her parents or the way her sister raised her. She was passionate. It was one of the reasons he was so enamored with her.
She flushed a gorgeous shade of pink when he shocked her with his words or actions. Her pure expression when he brought her to the edge of desire and then tipped her over the top brought him to his knees. The ecstasy she expressed when she came hard made his mouth dry.
He was the only man she’d ever experienced that with. And he wanted to keep it that way. Fucking things up with her was totally unacceptable. She was his world. His everything. He didn’t care what anyone thought about how long they’d known each other or how soon it was. He knew what he wanted. And Ava represented everything he could have imagined in a partner and then some.
He knew she loved him.
There was no denying he loved her.
Was she right? Should he be seeing things through different lenses?
He shuddered. The unimaginable crept back in.
It didn’t really matter what anyone thought. Ava. His father. His mother. No one. He needed time to wrap his head around the insanity of his brother being in jail and a nephew suddenly alone in the world. And he needed everyone to leave him alone while he did so.
Chapter Sixteen
The following morning was chaotic and stressful. Ava was glad she’d come for Lucita’s sake. The woman was amazing, and Ava could only hope to be half as awesome as her in forty years, but even the strongest person could only take so much.
Ava learned this was the first time Lucita had ever visited her son in jail. In fact, it was the first time she’d seen him in years. She had cut him off financially years ago when all he ever did with her money was hide behind drugs. Besides needing to face her son and put on a brave face for all he’d lost, she needed him to sign over his parental rights.
Lucita knew she could get the court to rescind his rights eventually, given the fact that he would be in prison until the child was an adult, but it would take time, and it would cost money. Unnecessary time and money. It would be easier if he signed the papers and let the baby have a chance at a better life.
Ava paced inside the reception area of the prison while she waited for Lucita. Lucita had nearly begged Ava to stay at the hotel, but Ava knew there was a good chance Lucita would be glad she had a shoulder to cry on when she came out. Or at least someone to lean on for emotional support.
An hour after Lucita disappeared behind the door to the left of the reception desk, she reemerged. She had been crying again. Her face was swollen, her eyes red, her nose pink. Her mascara was a mess.
Ava went to her and hugged her tight. There was no need to say anything. No matter what, the words would be empty clichés. Wrapping her arm around Lucita’s waist, she led the woman out to get a taxi, and the two of them rode back to the hotel.
Lucita was anxious to locate the baby, but Doug said it would take another day to get through the red tape and get a judge to release the child to his grandmother. They would have to wait until tomorrow to see him.
The good news was Juan committed to relinquishing his rights. Lucita was relieved to have at least that. She seemed exhausted from seeing her son after so many years. It had been even longer since she’d seen him clean. Prison would do that to a person.
Ava couldn’t imagine having such a strained relationship with one of her own kids. Nor could she imagine not having an adult that loved and cared for her. Even after her parents died, she never once was alone. She had been too young to realize what her sister had done for her at the time.
Today, she appreciated Lily more than she ever had in her life.
The first chance she got, she intended to call her sister and tell her how much she loved her.
Lucita lay down for a nap after they ate lunch, and Ava decided to do some sightseeing. Who knew how long it would be before she had another chance to return to Puerto Rico?
She kept her phone with her all day, but tried to ignore its silence. Of course, Xavier would’ve been at practice and then his game. But as the hours went by, she fought the melancholy creeping into her heart. How long would he hold out? It had been over twenty-four hours. Maybe he decided he couldn’t be with her.
She spent a few hours wandering through the streets of old San Juan, admiring one of the oldest cities in the Americas. The colorful buildings and narrow winding streets were gorgeous. She visited the Castillo de San Felipe del Morro, learning about the early colonization in the area at this amazing fort.
Lastly, she spent a little time at the Cathedral of San Juan Bautista near the San Juan Gate. San Juan was an amazingly beautiful city rich in culture.
When Ava stepped back into the hotel room hoping to lure Lucita out for dinner, she found the woman finishing her makeup, a smile on her face. “You’re back. How was your day? I’m so sorry I didn’t show you around. I should’ve taken you.”
“Don’t give it a thought,” Ava insisted. “You have a lot on your plate. I was fine. I easily made my way around the city. It’s gorgeous.”
Lucita’s eyes were teary as she turned to face Ava. Her voice was lower when she spoke again. “Ava, thank you so much for being here with me. It means the world to me. I know you’re going through a difficult time yourself, and you haven’t mentioned my son’s stupidity one single time.”
Ava nodded. “It’s my pleasure. It would’ve been selfish to let you come here alone when I was perfectly capable and available.”
Lucita pushed off the edge of the bathroom counter and smiled. “Let’s go to dinner.”
* * *
When a phone rang early the next morning as Ava was waking up, she got momentarily excite
d. When she realized it was Lucita’s phone, her excitement deflated.
The call was from Doug, however, and the news was good. An hour later, the two of them were headed to see the baby. If everything went as planned, they would be able to see the judge, sign some documents, and make arrangements to bring the baby home with them.
Lucita was nervous. Ava couldn’t blame her. She was about to meet her first grandchild.
As soon as they walked into the courthouse, they heard the distinctly shrill tone of a baby’s cry. Lucita smiled next to Ava. The sound was musical. Life-affirming.
Five minutes later, the sweet newborn was in his grandmother’s arms, and Lucita closed her eyes and held him close.
Ava’s heart pounded. There was nothing more precious than this uniting of family. Even though the little guy couldn’t possibly have a clue who held him, he stopped crying immediately.
When Lucita pulled back to take in his features, he squirmed and kicked at the swaddled blanket wrapped around his feet. Lucita tugged the constraining fabric away to take in everything from his tiny little toes to his button nose.
Ava watched the two of them with awe and wonder. Such a precious moment. She would never forget.
* * *
The following day, when the three of them landed in Miami, Ava was exhausted. Babies cried—a lot. Between the two adults, they had passed the sweet little guy back and forth through the night at the hotel waiting for the all clear to take him back to Florida. Neither of them had slept many hours.
The flight had been even worse. He cried anytime he wasn’t sucking on a bottle. Passengers all around them probably wanted to throw things. They were also undoubtedly confused by what should’ve appeared to be three generations—grandmother, mother, and baby. Except Ava was so fair and blond, no one would buy that story.
When they made their way to the parking garage and then found Lucita’s car, they spent about fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to properly attach the car seat they’d purchased only yesterday and hadn’t used yet.
The moment they started the engine, the little man finally conked out. It was a struggle for Ava to stay awake, but she needed to for Lucita who was no less tired.
The best thing about the baby was he’d kept Ava from biting her nails over Xavier’s apparent disappearance from the face of the earth. He hadn’t called his mother nor Ava. No texts. No messages. Nothing.
After three days, Ava was certain things were over between them. It hurt every time she permitted herself to think about it, but if Xavier was enough of an asshole that he couldn’t be bothered to even check and make sure his mother and girlfriend were alive, fuck him. She didn’t need that kind of man in her life.
It felt strange when Lucita pulled up in front of Ava’s Miami apartment. She shut off the engine and turned to face her. She even took Ava’s hand in hers. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me and this sweet baby.”
“You’re welcome. It was a pleasure.” She glanced over the seat to see his cherub face peacefully at rest. She was going to miss him. The entire family would hold a spot in her heart that would never go away.
She swallowed back tears that threatened to fall. There was a chance she would never see any of them again. Not the sweet baby she had rocked to sleep and held in the middle of the night. Not his grandmother or step-grandfather. And worst of all, not his uncle. A man she’d fallen hopelessly in love with.
“I hate that all of this might have caused irreparable damage to your relationship with Xavier,” Lucita whispered. “The thought that I contributed to it by taking you with me will haunt me.”
Ava shook her head. “You aren’t to blame. Your son makes his own choices. If he can’t understand why I went with you, that’s his problem. It’s better for me to see his true colors now instead of months down the road.”
Was that what this was? Xavier’s true colors? If so, they were ugly shades of gray.
Lucita dipped her gaze to her lap. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Am I such a bad mother that neither of my sons seem to have become a well-adjusted adult?”
Ava reached for her forearm and squeezed. “No. I can tell you were an amazing mom. But people make their own choices. They’re grown adults. You’re not to blame for their actions.”
The older woman tried to smile. “You’re such a dear.” She cupped Ava’s cheek. “The next time I see my son, I’m going to tear him apart.”
Ava shook her head. “Don’t. Let it go. There’s no reason to spread the rift already forming between the two of you. I don’t want to contribute to it. He has his reasons for cutting me out of his life. Maybe they’re good ones. Maybe he decided he wasn’t as in love with me as I am with him. Maybe he wasn’t ready for the intensity of our relationship.”
Maybe he’s an asshole who can’t be bothered to care about his own nephew’s welfare.
Ava forced another smile. “Take care of that sweet baby.” She yanked open the door, afraid she would completely fall apart if she spent one more minute with Xavier’s mother.
As she opened the back door to grab her bag from the seat, she gave the little angel another parting glance. So precious.
With a short glance at Lucita and a forced smile, she shut the door without a word and jogged toward the entrance to her building. Sheer will got her to the fourth floor and into her apartment.
That’s when she lost it. Tears slid out as she shut the door. She dropped her bag on the floor and headed straight to her bedroom. It was early afternoon. She had never been so exhausted in her life. She hadn’t slept much in over twenty-four hours. She pulled the covers back on her bed, climbed under the sheets, and curled into a ball.
For a while, she let herself sob, gasping for air between wiping away tears and blowing her nose into a tissue. When there was nothing left in her emotional reserves, she took several breaths and fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
A phone was ringing…
That knowledge took its sweet time filtering into Ava’s consciousness. She blinked her eyes open, confused and unsure of the time or day.
The ringing stopped as she noticed the stream of light across her bedroom. It was morning. Lord. She’d slept more than twelve hours. Probably fifteen.
She felt groggy, almost hungover, as she forced herself to sit and then lifted off the bed. For a moment, she swayed, having trouble catching her balance. She was hungry. Her stomach growled to confirm that. But she also felt slightly sick. Probably from traveling and lack of sleep.
As she made her way toward the front of her apartment in search of her purse and the phone inside it, she wondered how much sleep Lucita had gotten. She wouldn’t have had the luxury of returning to her house and crashing like Ava had.
The phone rang again as Ava bent down to grab her purse off the floor in the entryway. She pulled it out and read the display. Lily.
Fumbling with shaky fingers, she managed to answer it. Her voice sounded hoarse as she said hello, forcing her to clear her throat after the one word.
“Ava? You sound horrible. Where are you? I’ve been texting you forever.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve called. I’m at home.”
“Your apartment?”
“Yes.” What other home did she have?
“When did you get back?”
“Yesterday. I was so tired I slept from the moment I got here until you called just now.”
“That is tired. How did everything go? Did you get the baby?”
“Yes.” Ava took a deep breath.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired.”
“Okay. Listen I’m in Miami today. I’m coming over.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Ava muttered as she made her way back toward her bedroom and through to the master bath. She needed a shower and breakfast, and then she’d feel human.
“I know, but I’ll be there in twenty minutes. I’ll bring Danishes.”
“Not go
nna turn that down.” Ava ended the call and jumped in the shower. By the time Lily arrived, she was almost alive.
Lily’s face spoke volumes. She held a bag from their favorite pastry shop in one hand and wrapped Ava in a hug with the other. “Xavier?”
Ava shook her head. “I haven’t heard from him since I left.”
Lily’s shoulders fell. “I’m so sorry.”
Ava shrugged, ignoring the way her stomach clenched at the thought of never speaking to the man again. She forced a fake half grin. “It wasn’t meant to be. A spring training fling.”
Lily headed for the kitchen and set the bag on the counter. Without asking, she took two mugs out of the cabinet and proceeded to make tea. When they were both seated at the table, Lily pulled out the Danishes and handed one to Ava.
Ava picked on her Danish. She finally lifted her gaze. There was no way to stop the renewed floodgates. “Maybe I’m being unreasonable, but it hits too close to home for me, you know?”
Lily grabbed Ava’s hand and squeezed it on top of the table. “I thought so.”
“I mean, what if you hadn’t been around to take care of me when Mom and Dad died? Or what if you hadn’t wanted to be bothered?” She shuddered. “I could have spent twelve years in the system tossed around to different foster homes. Who knows what would’ve happened to me?”
“I know, hon. I figured that’s what you were thinking.”
Ava pulled her hand from Lily’s, lifted her mug, and took a sip of the steaming tea. “I just…can’t.”
“I get it.”
“It seems so…selfish. I mean, I understand he’s angry. And he has every right to be. I’d be furious too. He didn’t ask for this. And it’s not Xavier’s fault. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s his problem.”
Lily nodded.
“I just can’t be with someone who could turn their back on a baby out of misplaced spite for their father or their brother. And his own mother. He left her to go alone to Puerto Rico and didn’t even call.”
“I know. I don’t blame you. Give him some time. Don’t give up on Xavier yet. Maybe he’ll come around.” Lily set a hand over Ava’s and squeezed. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. He’s been at the games. But he won’t talk to anyone. Not even Dominic or Brett. He’s been closed off, and he looks miserable.”
Catching Ava (Spring Training Book 3) Page 17
