Good.
Ava took a sip of tea and set the mug on the table. “Did he freak out when you told him I went to Puerto Rico?”
Lily’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t tell him. I thought you didn’t want me to.”
Ava’s eyes widened. “Ever? Nobody told him ever?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I mean, I assumed he eventually knew from his mom or you, but I don’t think he even spoke to Dominic or Brett. He has seriously kept to himself.”
Ava groaned. “Oh God. He never called his mother, either. He probably thinks I’ve been here in Miami ignoring him while I thought he was a total dick for cutting me off while I helped his mom.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Ava shuddered. “What difference does it make anyway? It shouldn’t matter where I was. He still would’ve called if he gave a fuck.”
“You were so happy. I would’ve bet my last dollar he was it for you.”
“Yeah. Me too.” She forced herself not to cry again. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore right now. Can we do it later?” She lifted her gaze to implore her sister to drop it for now.
“Of course.”
Ava looked her sister in the eye. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you enough for what you did for me. For everything you still do for me. For the sacrifices you made. It couldn’t have been easy. And I love you.”
Lily jumped up and pulled Ava into a hug against her waist. She didn’t let go for a long time, letting Ava cry against her.
She wasn’t crying so much for the failed relationship with Xavier as she was for the little girl who’d been left without a mother, the teenager who’d given up her life to raise her, and the sweet tiny baby boy who now found himself in the same position, even though he didn’t know it.
* * *
When Xavier came out of the clubhouse that afternoon, the last person he expected to see waiting for him was his mother’s husband. Doug was leaning casually against the side of the building, his ankles crossed, his fingertips inside the edges of his pockets. His face was anything but casual, though. He was angry.
“Doug,” Xavier greeted.
Doug narrowed his gaze. He didn’t hesitate or beat around the bush. “I don’t have a clue what’s going on with you, but I do need you to get your head out of your ass and come to the house. Now. Your mother has worked her butt off. She’s tired. She’s sixty-two years old. Stop being an asshole and come to the house.” He didn’t wait for a response. He simply pushed off the wall and strolled toward the guest parking lot.
Xavier stood rooted to his spot for a long time, ignoring the sound of fans around him as they chatted with the trail of players exiting the clubhouse. They must have sensed the waves of irritation coming off him, because not one person approached him.
Eventually, he turned away from the group and trudged to his car. He would’ve loved to live in his own little bubble for another day or two or ten years, but he was being a dick to his mother. So he climbed into his car and headed for her home.
A half hour later, as he pulled to a stop in the circle drive, he set his head on the steering wheel for a minute, trying to catch his breath.
What was Ava doing? He had thought about her nearly nonstop since she’d left him. He should’ve called her. He should’ve called her the first day. And then the second. And by the third, he was so far past asshole status he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
What the hell was the matter with him?
He knew the answer. Until he pulled his shit together, he wasn’t worthy of her. She didn’t deserve him acting like such an asshole.
Dammit. None of this was his fault. And although he knew he was being a total dick, he was still holding on to his anger. Ava held some responsibility too. She was the one who left Jupiter and never returned. She could have come to him and tried to talk. Instead she’d run. Again.
Was his frustration warranted? Who the fuck cared at this point? He seemed to have decided to hang on to it by his fingernails if it killed him.
He made his way to the front door and knocked.
Doug answered, standing back to let Xavier in. He didn’t look any less pissed than he had at the clubhouse.
A high-pitched shrill cry somewhere in the house answered Xavier’s next question. Obviously his mother had been successful.
He took a deep breath. It was time to man up. He couldn’t hide forever. The little guy was only a few days old, but he deserved an uncle who didn’t judge him for the sins of his father and grandfather. Xavier followed Doug from the foyer to the back of the house and into the kitchen. The afternoon sun was bright, blanketing the room in warmth and life. It would normally make him feel elated. Not today. Today the inside of the house brought dread and the inevitable confrontation.
“Drink?” Doug asked as he opened the refrigerator.
“No, thanks.” He hadn’t had anything to drink in days. Not since the night he’d fought with all of them in this kitchen.
When the crying grew louder, Xavier shifted his gaze toward the hallway.
His mother appeared, holding a wiggling bundle in her arms. She looked tired. Older. With hardly a glance, she handed the baby off to Doug and grabbed a bottle off the counter. Two minutes later, she shook the bottle to mix the formula with warm water and then handed the bottle to Doug.
That surprised Xavier, who sat frozen, watching things unfold.
But Doug had a grin on his face Xavier had never seen before. The man looked mesmerized. The baby stopped screaming the moment his grandfather offered him the bottle. This huge man whom Xavier had always considered rather stoic and serious, cooed continually to the bundle in his arms.
Finally Xavier stood and stepped closer to get a look at the little guy. He was shocked to find he had a full head of dark hair and a little button nose. He looked like Juan. Which meant he also looked like Xavier. His little fists were squeezed tight, and he sucked the bottle as if his life depended on it.
In a way it did. There was no way in the world not to love the little guy at first glance. He was pure and adorable.
After a few moments, Doug left the kitchen without saying anything else.
Xavier turned and found his mother cleaning up.
She put the can of formula away and then nailed her son with her gaze. “What the hell is up with you? If I didn’t know better, I would say you’d been possessed by aliens who were inhabiting your body in an effort to take the data back to their home planet.”
Normally, Xavier would’ve laughed at the visual. But not today. He sighed, slumping into a kitchen chair and fiddling with the edge of a placemat. “Mom, cut me some slack. I’m trying to process everything. This isn’t easy for me.”
“For you.” Her voice rose as she stomped to his side and set her hands on her hips. “What the hell have you done besides bitch and complain? You didn’t spend three days in Puerto Rico fighting red tape and then a night in a cramped hotel room with an infant. You didn’t hold a baby in a crowded airplane with the feeling of every eye in the plane boring into your back. You didn’t rush over here to help Doug and I get settled.”
She leaned forward, pointing a finger at him. “You didn’t even have the common decency to call your own girlfriend a single time. Don’t you dare tell me this isn’t easy for you.”
Xavier met his mother’s gaze, swallowing. He was barely holding on to a shred of dignity. “What the heck does Ava have to do with this? Except for one cryptic text, I haven’t heard from her since the morning you left for Puerto Rico. She could have called me too. And why do you know about her? Have you been talking to her behind my back?” A chill raced down his spine.
His mother’s mouth fell open. “You didn’t know she was with me?”
He frowned. “Who was with you? Ava? Where?”
“In Puerto Rico. She went with me.”
“What?” He stopped breathing. All this time while he’d been fuming mad at her for abandoning him to go back to Miami, she’d
been with his mother in Puerto Rico?
“Lord, Xavier. I don’t know whether to be sorry or seriously more pissed. If you’d called either of us a single time, you would’ve known. You’re more stubborn than I ever thought.”
He leaned his elbows on the table, threaded his hands in his hair, and stared at the surface. “Oh my God.” I’m such an ass.
“She called her sister. I’m sure Lily knew.”
“Well, Lily didn’t tell me. No one did.”
For several moments, they sat in silence.
Xavier swallowed. He let the weight of her words sink in. Ava had been with his mother in Puerto Rico while he’d sat at home between games and wallowed in self-pity.
“I’m disappointed in you. I had the pleasure of watching the light dim in Ava’s eyes with every passing hour until it snuffed out completely by the time I dropped her off at her apartment yesterday. Regardless of the fact no one told you she went with me, you would’ve known if you’d called.
“I saw the way you looked at her the other night. Like she hangs the moon. You’ve never brought a woman here. You never took your eyes or your hands off her the entire evening. As soon as the going gets tough, you bolt? I didn’t raise a son to turn away from responsibilities and hurt the people he loves.”
“Sure, you did. You raised Juan. He’s done nothing but turn away and hurt people for years. Maybe I’m no different.” He was being the most insensitive, stubborn prick alive, but it was hard to turn back once he got started.
Lucita flinched, her eyes going wide, her mouth falling open. She stared at him for several seconds and then swallowed and looked away from him. “You seriously need to get your priorities straight. If you’re willing to let Ava go and hold a grudge against your nephew out of misplaced anger toward your brother and your father, you need help.”
“Mom…” His stomach turned over. He’d never spoken to her that way in his life.
“You should go. Now. Before I say things I can’t take back.”
Xavier rose to his feet. He lowered his gaze to the floor. Leaving was a horrible idea. The worst. His behavior was abominable and killing his mother. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I will fix this.”
She nodded. “I hope so.”
Now wasn’t the time to continue this conversation. So he stepped around his mother, walked through the house, and exited through the front door.
By the time he got in his car and started the engine, his hands were shaking. He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. What the hell was wrong with him?
Chapter Seventeen
Xavier sat on a stool in his favorite Miami bar. He’d been nursing a beer for so long it had gotten warm. The only thing he’d really accomplished was successfully removing the entire label from the bottle in one piece. It lay on the counter next to him victorious.
He’d needed to pull his shit together. He had managed to drive to Miami so far, but he needed to think about what he was going to say to Ava before he went to her apartment.
After treating her so badly, what could he possibly say to make it better?
He leaned to the side slightly as someone slid onto the stool next to him.
A glance to his left made him groan inwardly. “What are you doing here?”
His closest friend in the world didn’t meet his gaze. Dominic lifted a hand toward the bartender instead. “Can I get whatever you have on tap?”
While he waited, the two of them sat in silence. After Dominic took his first long swig, he turned to face Xavier. “You want to talk about it?”
Xavier was shocked. There wasn’t a hint of reprimand in Dominic’s voice. He didn’t accuse Xavier of anything or even make a suggestion. He simply met his friend where he was and offered moral support.
At first, Xavier continued to twist his bottle around, watching the liquid as it swirled. “Who called you?”
“Lily. Figured I’d find you here.”
Not a stretch. He and Dominic had been coming to this bar for years to unwind. “How much did she tell you?”
“Enough.”
“I fucked up.”
“It happens.”
“I did it better than most this time.”
“Yeah. But I don’t think it’s irreparable.”
“You sure?” Xavier lifted his gaze and turned to face Dominic. “I mean, forget my parents. They have to love me. I can make amends with them. What about Ava? She must want to kill me by now. I doubt she’d even let me into her apartment if I stood outside the door banging on it loud enough to annoy the neighbors.”
Dominic gave a wry grin. “Maybe Lily would let you in.”
“Lily’s with her?”
“Yeah. She’s been there all day.”
Xavier’s chest pounded. He tried to swallow over the knot in his throat.
His gut clenched. How the hell could he show up now? He’d rudely ignored her to make a point. A point that seemed asinine now. What was it he’d been trying to communicate with his silence? That she was a bitch for leaving him alone while she raced off to help his mother and be a better person than he obviously was?
Why had he felt the need to be right? There was no right in this. He could be mad at his dad and his brother, but he couldn’t take it out on a baby. And yet he had. Why? Because his life was inconvenienced?
Why would Ava even want to see him?
The ache in his chest grew by the second. Suddenly, he knew he had to try. He needed to face her and tell her he was sorry. There was no other option. Continuing on this stubborn path was going to kill him. No matter what happened afterward, he had to apologize.
He jumped down from the stool. “I gotta go.”
“’Kay.” Dominic took another slow drink.
Xavier barely heard him.
He made it to Ava’s apartment in record time. It was after eight when he reached his hand up to knock on her door.
In a few seconds, it opened. Lily stood in front of him. She narrowed her gaze. “You’re a huge dick,” she mumbled.
Xavier winced and then he nodded. He straightened to his full height and met Lily’s gaze. “I deserve that.”
She leaned against the doorframe. “Ava’s asleep. Probably trying to avoid thinking about your shitty methods of handling women.”
“I’ve been a jackass, and I have a lot of groveling to do. But I’m in love with her. And I’ll convince her of that if it takes me two months.”
Lily’s face didn’t change for several seconds while she left him standing in the hallway. “More like two years, asshole. But good luck. Tell Ava I’ll be at Dominic’s if she decides your groveling isn’t good enough and she needs me to come back.” She grabbed her purse from the table next to the door and stepped around him.
Xavier locked the door behind Lily and said a silent prayer that Ava would hear him out. He moved quietly down the hallway and opened her bedroom door. It was dark inside. The only noise was Ava’s restless breathing. As he got closer, he noticed she was thrashing around, her legs kicking the sheets so that she was sprawled mostly uncovered.
She looked skinnier, if that was possible. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see from the light streaming in from the hallway that her white tank top had ridden up to expose a few inches of her belly above her pink boxers. She looked so young. For a moment, he had trouble remembering she was a twenty-two-year-old woman. A woman he was head over heels in love with.
Now he just needed to convince her and beg her to give him another chance.
Maybe it was a bold move, but he kicked off his shoes and climbed up beside her.
She didn’t awaken as he eased onto his side and then gently hauled her small frame against his chest. When he had her back to him and set his lips on her neck to kiss her tenderly, she relaxed. Her body stopped thrashing, and she sighed.
He realized she was still asleep, but he wanted to enjoy a moment holding her before she woke up and read him the riot act.
It didn’t take long. He knew th
e moment she grew lucid. She stiffened and sucked in a sharp breath. “Xavier?” At least she didn’t pull away from him or try to fight him.
“I’m here, hon.” He kissed her temple, his arm snaking around to grasp both hers in front of her chest. He hoped the firm pressure and his dominance would calm her and let her know he was really there. All of him.
“Why?” She didn’t move, but her hands flinched in his grip.
“Because I missed you.”
She sucked in another breath. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
“Yeah. I need to work on that.” He eased his grip and stroked the soft skin of her forearm with one finger. “I’m so sorry. I was an asshole. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. My mother didn’t either. I don’t know how to explain my actions except to say I was angry and afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid of having my perfect life turned upside down.”
She didn’t comment.
He continued, brushing a lock of hair off her cheek so he could nuzzle her warm skin. She smelled so damn good. Like home. His life. His world. He needed to keep talking, though. “I had just found you. Just acknowledged that the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with had stepped into my path. I wanted to savor that. For like a year.
“I had visions of you in my life and in my bed. I pictured you traveling with me, your sweet smile greeting me after a game. I selfishly wanted you all to myself for a while, and then the world fell apart. I can’t stand feeling like my father manipulated me into getting what he wants or even that he’ll think he got what he wanted.”
She sighed. “Xavier…”
“Sorry. I know I’m being ridiculous. Just sharing how I felt that night at my mom’s house.”
“Did you go see your parents? The baby?”
“I did. He’s damn cute too.” He felt her stiffen, so he kept talking. “I owe you an apology.”
Catching Ava (Spring Training Book 3) Page 18
