A. Warren Merkey

by Far Freedom

  “He’s too well protected. Don’t be so angry.”

  “It’s easy for you to say that!”

  “Not always. I understand your anger.”

  “The hell you do!” She had to resort to Twenglish to satisfy her need for emotional precision in her verbiage.

  “The hell I do. You were raped. Four men.”

  “Three! How do you know? I never reported it!”

  “Four. One only wanted to watch. Don’t be angry. They’re dead.”

  “How do you know?” She stood up and moved toward him. “Why do you know?”

  He backed away from her, keeping his measured distance. “I killed them.” The way he said it in his dead flat voice convinced her, sent a shiver up her spine. She stopped approaching him.

  “You killed them?” She forgot he didn’t answer the question she thought she asked.

  “There was no ethical solution to the problem. They posed a future threat to your well-being, therefore a significant diminishing of the mission. I confess that some of my emotional response to their deaths was pleasure.”

  “Are you confessing to murder?” Jamie was too astonished and confused to find her way back to the question of why this Essiin-Earthian captain knew she was raped.

  ” I don’t think you want to arrest me.”

  Arrest him? She wanted to hug him, if it was true. She spent years trying to bring the three rapists she could identify to justice. They disappeared. Perhaps she now knew why. But this raised many new questions. “How did you know I was raped?”

  “That is a very unpleasant piece of history. I won’t answer you. I hoped the news would calm your feelings but, as usual, I have no facility in dealing with emotions.” Captain Direk turned toward the open doorway.

  “Wait!” I sound like a little girl! she thought. Lower your voice! “What the hell is going on, Captain?”

  He paused. Several silent seconds ticked off. “They told you nothing. You know nothing. I shouldn’t be here.”

  “Wait!” She did it again! Why was she reacting like this? He reached the doorway when he paused again. He put one hand on the door frame in a way that could have expressed emotion. He seemed less Essiin, more Earthian. “What did you expect them to tell me?” Jamie felt she was being conspired against. If she couldn’t even be trusted with their damned secrets, why promote her to major?

  “I’ve made a mistake.” The captain stepped through the doorway. He had spoken to Jamie and turned away from her. She grabbed the sleeve of his work uniform and yanked it to make him turn to face her. She took a step toward him. He backed up several steps and seemed possibly disturbed that she had touched him.

  Jamie was half angry and half frightened, because she was fully mystified. She continued to try to approach the Navy captain as he walked backward from her. When she stopped, he stopped. They stood at that same measured distance apart. The moonlight streamed through the trees and cast pale shadows on the walk between them. Although she didn’t consciously appreciate the pleasant evening, it had some effect on her perception of Captain Direk. He became important to her on levels she didn’t know existed and couldn’t explain. She discovered some place inside her that was empty because it now ached. “Why do you know me and I don’t know you?”

  “I’m sorry for what we never had. For what we may never have. For what I remember. For what you don’t remember.” He faded in the moonlight until she couldn’t see him. Belatedly, she rushed toward where he had stood. He was gone, impossibly vanished, as though he never existed. She could feel a bubble of air that was cooler and drier than the evening air and smelled differently, but that also vanished in the first breeze.

  Admiral Demba marched through the crowded aisles of the vast shuttle docking bay where hundreds of civilians waited in queues to be processed aboard the Freedom. She didn’t return salutes or pause to speak to anyone. She moved with haste and with anger on her face. Jamie saw her coming and stood to attention, fearing the worst. “At ease. What is the count of crew?”

  “Nine hundred fourteen, Admiral.”

  “And the civilians?”

  “Eight thousand, three hundred two.”

  “How many waiting?”

  “I estimate a thousand.”

  “Reasonably close to our total. Close the embarkation hatch and secure all other points of ingress. Pass those orders on and come with me.”

  “Admiral, I don’t have qualified backup for my post. What do I do with all these people?”

  “I don’t care what you do with them.”

  “We depart ahead of schedule?”

  “It may be imminent.”

  Jamie turned to Lieutenant Aguila and issued orders. Demba marched away. She followed her, still issuing orders by shiplink. “This isn’t about the intruders or the crew we’ve refused?” Jamie fell into step beside the admiral.

  “What intruders?”

  “Sorry, Admiral, I’m a little behind in my reports. Three intruders. One was an admiral.”

  “On my list?”

  “Yes.” Jamie couldn’t guess what reason caused Demba to come in person and take her away from her duties, because it obviously wasn’t her security activities. Despite the tension Demba injected into the circumstance, Jamie found her mind turning again to Captain Direk. He invaded her thoughts constantly since meeting him. She tried to stifle this behavior, knowing something important was about to happen. Demba halted in a deserted service corridor and Jamie saw deep concern on the woman’s face as she turned to her. She seemed reluctant to speak and could only reach out and touch Jamie’s arm. The touch startled her and made her anxious to know what it meant. It seemed too intimate and too vital. “Admiral, what’s wrong?”

  Demba stared at her, as she did before, perhaps thoughtfully, but withholding something. The admiral’s expression remained closed to her decryption. She observed Demba being open with other officers, such as Captain Horss. What made Jamie different? It was rare that an admiral could be as natural as Demba could be, and she felt excluded from her favor. She wanted to be included. As Demba looked at Jamie her face relaxed and softened, as if she read Jamie’s mind. “So much to say and too soon to say it. And now, too late. I have something I want you to keep for me.” She brought forth a silver pouch and handed it to Jamie. Jamie started to open it but the admiral held her hand to prevent it. She held her hand for a long moment. “Don’t look at it until you are in a private place. Don’t show it to anyone. Keep it on your person at all times. If I don’t return, it’s yours.”

  “If you don’t return?”

  “I’ve received an invitation much like the one Doctor Mnro received. I can’t take the thing with me. It’s too valuable and also prevents a transmat lock.”

  “Don’t go!” Jamie was almost panicked by this news and afraid she triggered it by intercepting the intruding admiral.

  “I must. He has Sammy.”

  Jamie was overcharged with emotion once again. It came easily and quickly in the presence of this dark woman. She held Jamie’s hands with the silver pouch within. She stared hard at Jamie’s face. Then she released her. The admiral backed up, turned, walked away. “Wait!” Demba didn’t wait. She walked. Jamie followed. “I see it in your eyes. You know me. It must be why you tolerate me. But I don’t know you. And Captain Direk knows me.”

  “Direk?” Demba did not stop.

  “He seems to know me. I wish you could explain it to me!”

  “It would complicate things for you.”

  “It can’t be much more complicated! I haven’t stopped thinking about you and Sammy since I met you!”

  Demba stopped then and turned to face Jamie. Her eyes shone with tears. Tears! What admiral ever wept? Sammy was vital to Demba. Was Jamie also important to Demba? Why? “How could you believe me,” Demba said with tears also in her voice, “if I told you I was your mother?” A transmat reference field seized her at that instant and processed her into nothingness.

  Jamie reported immediately by shi
plink to Captain Horss, willing herself to maintain discipline in the wake of such contrasting news, such shocking words. She forced the words into faint coherence, ignoring Horss’s efforts to interrupt. “Can we do anything, sir?”

  “I’m aware of the situation. Do as the admiral ordered.”

  “Damn it, sir!”

  “The admiral can take care of herself, Major, I promise you.”

  “But it’s my job to protect her! And she says she’s my mother!”

  “Exactly why it’s our job to protect you. I’ve never met anyone who needs protecting less than Admiral Demba. I speak from mortal experience. Carry on.”

  “Major Jones,” a different voice in her head spoke.

  “This is Jones. Who are you?”

  “My name is Freddy. I’m the admiral’s inorganic child, so to speak. I’m an AMI.”

  “Hello, Freddy. What do you want?”

  “I’m standing next to the captain and I overheard his conversation with you. I have some experience in rescue missions and I’m willing to help you.”

  “Thank you, Freddy. I’m sure you’re too important to be put at risk.”

  “I’ve rescued her before! I’ll do whatever is necessary. I can’t lose her! I need her! I’m her baby. Sammy is my brother.”

  Jamie was astonished by the emotional outburst of the AMI. She added him to the ranks of her Mysteries To Be Solved. Then she knew who else might help her. “Sorry, Freddy. I need to speak to another person now.” Jamie called Captain Direk on her shiplink. “The admiral and Sammy have been removed 260 Far Freedom from the ship!”

  “I know. Did the admiral give you something?”

  “Yes. How did - “

  “Where are you?”

  “Close to Docking Bay One.”

  “Go to exactly ninety-five Ring Zero and wait there.”

  As she reached ninety-five degrees on the deserted perimeter walkway Jamie heard a solid thump behind her, as though something heavy fell on the deck.

  “Damn!” She turned around to see Captain Direk and an admiral. The admiral shouted the expletive as though he was shocked to suddenly appear. Too sudden for a transmat. She knew he was Khalanov. Khalanov frowned, though not at Jamie. He recovered and seemed thoughtful. “Why did we have to jump?”

  Captain Direk ignored the question of his superior officer. “Major Jones, this is Admiral Khalanov.”

  She started to salute. They had no time for military custom.

  “What’s this about?” Khalanov asked. Jamie answered and watched the alarm rise in Khalanov’s face. He cared for Demba, genuinely cared for her. Another admiral of a different breed. “This is bad! This is very bad! Why does he not want Demba in command of the mission?”

  “The item Admiral Demba gave you?” Captain Direk asked Jamie.

  She tightly clenched it in her hand, all of her emotion concentrated in her fingers. She opened her hand and showed the silver pouch to him. He didn’t react, but Khalanov did. “She gave you that?”

  “You know what it is, sir?”

  “You do not know?”

  “I know it weighs nothing at all.”

  “Guard the admiral,” Captain Direk said to her.

  “Yes, sir. What will you do?”

  “I’m about to lose a secret to the enemy. This may precipitate some action on their part. I’ll ask Captain Horss to ready the ship for immediate departure. Admiral Khalanov will have engineering duties to perform. Stay with him until the drive envelope cuts off transmat probing.” Captain Direk took several steps backward and faded into nothingness.

  Section 007 1980 - The Proposal

  Milly woke up too early and couldn’t get back to sleep. All she could think about was Sam and the experiment. It was already more than a week past when she expected him to return from out West, and he hadn’t called. She couldn’t imagine anything good had happened. It was her nature to expect the worst, and it was strangling her to keep picturing Sam as having failed. Perhaps he was already back on campus and avoiding telling her the bad news. But Sam was no coward and no liar. Milly was sure he would not delay telling her the outcome of the experiment, good or bad. But she could never set herself up for a big disappointment. Her mind stewed itself in gloomy imaginings as she pried herself out of bed and did battle with the bathroom.

  ” Sam!” She spotted his suitcase by the bookshelf and Sam sleeping on the sofa. He had a key to her apartment. He must have let himself in, coming here straight from the airport. Why didn’t he wake her? What was wrong? He stirred. Milly rolled in as close as she could and nudged Sam until he was fully awake and aware of her. He seemed to begin to smile but stopped and regarded her thoughtfully. The room was still dark and Milly couldn’t be sure what she saw in his Asian face. “Talk to me.”

  “Good morning.” Sam almost sprained his mouth stifling a smile. He sat up and stretched and yawned. He placed a hand on each thigh and studied Miss Poker Face. He had hoped she would be all over him, wanting to know how the experiment went, but she remained true to her character. Milly would never get openly enthusiastic about anything, would never give anyone a hint of what cards she was holding in the Great Poker Game of Life. Sam contented himself with what he could imagine from the circumstantial evidence. She was still in the Game, still watching his eyes to see how firm his bet was. There had to be some connection between them, even if it was only intellectual. He had learned to keep his head down, his hopes modest, his bets small. “Late flight. Let me use your bathroom.”

  Milly didn’t see any defeat in Sam’s face or in how he carried himself, walking to the bathroom. Her heart soared, making her hit herself in the chest to quell the emotion. She clasped her hands in prayer despite herself, but only when Sam closed the bathroom door. By the time he returned, she had settled her emotions into a tight container and willed herself to respond calmly to anything Sam said. That was rendered impossible by the next thing Sam said.

  “We should get married.” It was pure luck he said it as he stepped behind her and took the handles of her wheelchair. He never saw the shock followed by joy on her face. By the time he could see her face again she hoped it reflected a somewhat humorous surprise - but no rejection!

  “That’s the last thing I could have imagined you would say.” Milly said it as soon as she thought she could say it calmly. He had wheeled her to the kitchen table and sat down across the corner of it from her. He looked confident to her, yet he was a man who continually expressed doubt about everything he did. She briefly considered challenging his state of mind, reviving his doubt, but she was too conscious of what his proposal meant to her, and too interested in what the proposal might imply about the result of his experiment.

  “Is that a ‘no?’” Sam asked. It didn’t seem so to him but he could never tell with Milly.

  “Why should we get married, Sam?” Milly asked it seriously, not wanting to appear too eager to say ‘yes.’

  “Because you and I could be together for a long time, and it would be convenient.”

  “Convenient?” Milly hoped the motivation for Sam’s proposal was anything but convenience but she wouldn’t try to force the truth from him. She would settle for whatever Sam would give her.

  “I want to help you, more than I can as just a friend.” He hoped it wasn’t too crude an implication that he sought intimacy with Milly. For a moment he realized how forward he was being with Milly. He put it out of his thoughts; this was too important. He couldn’t go on without Milly.

  “And why are we to be together for a long time, Sam?”

  “Ah, that’s classified information.” He smiled.

  Section 008 Black Queen to White Knight

  She was here. Admiral Fidelity Demba. Keshona. Zakiya. Without the mask that admirals wore. She was angry and afraid, with tears in her eyes. He was disturbed it came to this, especially with so little to be accomplished, but he wanted to see her, one last time. “The Freedom has closed all hatches and disconnected from Dock Services.” This wa
s obvious but it was all that came to mind to start the dialog.

  “Yes.” She wiped her damp face, not yet ready to turn loose of the final sight of her daughter. To look upon the rapist Etrhnk in the next moment was terrible.

  “As to the child. You care for him. Why?” He was surprised he asked the question. It was curious to him she would risk so much to keep the boy. It was strange that she was able to evade his transmat probe, which meant she had a choice to remain hidden and not come for the boy. Yet, here she was.

  “If you think there is some logical reason, you’re mistaken. I can’t help caring for Samson.” Etrhnk gave her time to collect herself. For a few days she felt she had a small chance that he would actually let her stay with the mission. She even thought she had misjudged him - until he raped Aylis. She waited for him to speak but he only stared at her. Was she to be his next sexual victim? “What now?” she finally requested in resignation.

  Etrhnk watched this elderly admiral with fascination. He had so many questions about her, so few answers, and he doubted he would learn anything more. Logically, he should be in awe of her, she who had been Keshona. How did she bring her task force to Rhyandh without being intercepted? She probably didn’t remember, but perhaps the Opera Master did. And Pan understood gates… He pulled his thoughts back to the matter at hand. What now? Demba had asked. Indeed. “I wish I knew,” Etrhnk replied.

  “What have you done with Sammy? Why did you give him to me, if you were going to take him back?”

  He judged her appearance as pleasing to the eye, although the stress of the situation distorted her. Be careful, he told himself. Even as upset as she appeared to be, he knew she remained powerful. She had met The Lady and lived to tell about it. She had killed barbarians effortlessly. She had even killed Jon Horss. And as Keshona, she had killed millions. The old artist knew what he had: his Mona Lisa. The Opera Master knew what he had: the sound and the fury. Perhaps Aylis Mnro knew what she had in Admiral Demba. Etrhnk did not know what he had - if he had her at all. “I did not give the boy to you. Nor did I take him away. It is not of my concern, or within my power, what is done with the boy. My understanding is that someone else cares about Samson, although I’m mystified by the kind of care.”