You'll Think of Me

by Franco, Lucia

Olivia's heart raced at his forwardness while she stood there digging her fingers into her underarms, unsure of what to do. Mr. Alexander’s mouth curved into a smirk and she sucked in her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “Don't bite your lip. Thanks, Doc. See you around,” he said low, his eyes transfixed on her lips. Then he left.

  Holy. Hell.

  What just happened?

  Wound tight, Olivia felt more alive than she had all week, and by a patient who had her body rousing all in the matter of a quick office visit.

  Walking into her office early the next morning, Olivia noticed the mound of medical files piled up, reminding her that she needed to tackle them. This week had been the longest one of her life, but it was finally Friday.

  A vibration coming from her purse startled her. Dropping her purse onto the desk with a thud, she fished for her phone, receipts and makeup spilling everywhere. Sliding her finger across the screen, she saw a text message.

  Tessa: I wannnnnna see you. You've been back in Georgia for months now and I haven't seen your face yet! I miss you. I know you're busy, so I'll come to you. Let me know. Xoxox

  Olivia smiled, and her heart felt lighter. Placing the phone down, she decided she’d get back to her later.

  Once settled into her routine for the day with coffee in hand, Olivia got to work. It was still early and none of the staff had arrived yet. She loved the early morning feel of her office; the calm before the craziness. Reaching across her desk, she cranked up the radio volume as Why by Jason Aldean came on and she fell into a steady pace of paperwork.

  After an hour of sitting in her chair whittling down the paperwork pile, Olivia stood to stretch, and that’s when her pleasant morning took an unexpected turn.

  “That's country music sensation, Luke Jackson. He's a touring machine! Word on the street is that he's a lady's man. Apparently no one’s been able to lock him down until now... A birdie told me he's got a little lady under his wing. So maybe the rumors aren’t true after all…”

  Olivia’s shoulders sagged and her heart fell into the pit of her stomach, a dead weight spiraling down and crashing inside of her. It settled and took root, its darkness spreading itself throughout her body. She felt numb. Regret was like a dirty little creature that just couldn’t be quashed. This was why she stopped listening to country music for so long; she didn’t want to know any details of Luke’s personal life anymore. She had told herself she let it go, so it shouldn’t have bothered her, but it killed her inside to hear that. It fucking hurt. Plain and simple. Damn Luke and his music. Shaking her head, Olivia slammed the radio with her hand, not wanting to hear another word, and grabbed her phone.

  Olivia: I miss you too! Just crazy busy here. Finally got things together. And yes—We must get together. Hopefully soon!

  Tessa: How about tonight or this weekend?

  Olivia: Tonight? Possibly! Let’s see how my day goes. I'll text you to let you know. Xoxoxo

  Standing up, Olivia shrugged on her white coat and dropped her phone into the pocket. She’d love nothing more than to see Tessa tonight.

  The rest of the day flew by like fall leaves twirling in a heavy gust of autumn wind. It was exactly how she felt after running up and down the hallway all afternoon; her head was spinning and her body was going in the opposite direction. Olivia only took part of her lunch break so she could catch up. She let the rest of the staff keep their regular lunch schedules and pulled each patient into the rooms herself. One by one, she saw everyone. It was getting close to the end of the day, and there was just one patient remaining.

  Olivia grabbed the last folder and walked down the hallway to the last exam door. She knocked and waited for a response as she glanced at the patient’s name.

  Jackson.

  Her heart skipped a beat then leaped into her throat.

  Jackson? Olivia’s palms began to sweat and her neck prickled with pins and needles.

  “Come in,” she heard through the door, but it didn’t register in her mind as Olivia frantically searched for an address on the inside of the file.

  It was left blank.

  Surely... Surely it couldn't be Luke. Jackson was a pretty common name, but she couldn’t help thinking immediately of Luke, especially after her morning.

  Taking a deep breath and letting it out, Olivia turned the knob and walked into the cold exam room.

  “Hello?” she said answering the phone with a groggy voice.

  “So, any hot doctors?” Lisa asked cheerfully, sounding as if she had been wide awake for hours.

  Lisa was her closest friend from New York and Olivia missed her. She had been her one and only real friend there. Lisa was vibrant, outgoing, always with a smile on her face, and not a worry in the world.

  What time is it?

  Olivia whimpered, throwing one hand over her eyes. She was still in bed and half asleep, but grinned at Lisa’s question.

  She opened her sleepy eyes and looked up at the white popcorn ceiling through the slow moving fan. It was typical of Lisa to ask that question, always thinking with her eyes and not her head. Lisa continually dated all the wrong guys, coming into her life with serious baggage that no one wanted to touch but her.

  “No, Lisa. I'm not looking for anyone 'hot' or otherwise for that matter. Good Lord, girl, doesn't your libido ever stop?”

  Lisa huffed on the other end like she was offended, which Olivia knew she really wasn't.

  “Umm, no. I'm a normal woman with a healthy sex drive. There is no off button, Liv. I'm not dead! Jesus Christ. I like men, and I like them often.” She could just picture Lisa rolling her eyes.

  Olivia giggled as she turned onto her side and pulled the comforter over her head. Her hair covered her face and she pushed it aside. “There is no filter with you.”

  Laughing, Lisa said, “That's true. Seriously, are there any decent guys? And I mean for you, not me. And why won't you look for one anyway? You can't stay single forever you know.”

  “I don’t have time for dating.”

  Lisa groaned on the other end. “You always say that. You're going to die a born again virgin. I just know it.”

  Olivia didn't respond—she couldn’t. She was too busy laughing at her friend’s sense of humor and at how serious Lisa came across.

  “When are you going to start dating?” Lisa whined. “I know you're settled in your new little redneck home. Well, your home away from home, so there's no excuse other than your reluctance.”

  “Something like that... Maybe I'll start, but I'm not on the hunt like you always are. If it happens it happens. If not, that's fine, too. I'm in no rush.”

  Lisa huffed loudly into the phone. “You're thirty-one! You're not getting any younger, honey.”

  “Thirty-one is young! Anyway, enough about me. What are you doing up so early on a Saturday?”

  Olivia reached above her head, the muscles in her arms stretching as she yawned. Her eyes felt puffy from too much work, but with Tessa coming into town today she needed to get a jump on things. Getting out of bed, she made her way into the kitchen and turned on her coffee pot.

  “True, very true, love. I'm just playing with you. I actually just got back from running in Central Park. It’s getting cold again and I thought of you as I ran. Then I came home, made a vegetable and fruit smoothie and I'm drinking it while talking to you.”

  “Getting cold? It has to be close to forty degrees there right now; that's ice cold for me! And you thought of me while running? Why? Is it because I refused to be one of those idiots running in black bike pants, stupid ear muffs, heavy gloves and my eyes watering from the cold wind while the rest of me is covered? All to lose a few pounds in the winter? Thanks, but spare me.”

  “Exactly! If you could have seen this guy running, Liv. You would've died at what he was wearing. He had his entire face covered except for his Ray-Ban glasses. He wore white clothing and was skin and bones. He looked like something straight out of a movie.”

  “Ugh. Gross. And believe m
e, I can imagine it all. I'll stick with my hips and the heat and be on my merry way. It's about seventy-five here and sunny today. No depressing gray skies that make you want to slit your wrist with a butter knife.”

  Lisa groaned in response to the temperature.

  “You should come visit me. You might actually like it down south.”

  “Maybe I'll take you up on that offer one day. I have to check and see if Dan has anything planned first.”

  “Dan? Are you kidding me? Please tell me you're still not seeing Dan. Lisa, he's married, and a doctor! This isn't good for you or his marriage. This is home wrecker status.”

  “It's kind of hard to break it off when we work together...”

  “You work for him now!” Olivia bit out, muttering a string of curse words.

  “It's not what you think…”

  “It never is.”

  “Liv, he said he's miserable with his marriage and wants a divorce but it isn't the right time because his wife just suffered a miscarriage. He has to give her time to heal before he drops the news. He says I'm his morning ray of light when he walks through the office door and he sees me, that I’m what gets him through each day. He thought if I was working in his office it would be a good way for us to be together without getting caught. So far it's working.”

  “Getting caught? See, that should be an issue,” Olivia cried out. “Why couldn't you just wait until he's divorced? And please tell me you didn’t fall for his morning ray of light shit.”

  Silence greeted Olivia. She knew Lisa was in over her head.

  “I can't,” Lisa whispered sadly. “I think I'm falling for him, Liv. Hard.”

  “Oh, Lisa…” she dragged out, her heart aching for her friend. “Please think about what you're doing and the lives that are going to be affected over this affair. Think before you act for once. Think with your head first, please? I know most say to follow your heart, but you wear your heart on the outside for the taking. You’re not protecting it with any covering. You’re bound to get hurt. So please, for once, think with your head.”

  “I will, Livy. I promise. And don't be so negative. Dan has promised to leave his wife once she's recovered. He loves me and wants a life with me. Would I have held out this long if not?” Lisa finished with a sullen tone.

  Lisa had a point, a weak point at that, but she was right in a sense. Olivia couldn't believe her friend was falling for every word 'Dan the Man' was spewing at her. She just prayed it was true this time. Maybe pushing Lisa to visit a little more was what was needed. She hated to see her friend hurt, and flying her down might be the ray of light she needed to see.

  “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I know you don’t,” Lisa responded softly. “I don’t want to see myself get hurt either, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, you know?”

  “Don’t I know it…”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. You know you don’t even have to ask that question.”

  “Looking back, do you believe that thinking with your head and not your heart was best for you?”

  Olivia’s throat tightened. She knew exactly what Lisa was referring to since she had told her every detail about Luke and the damage it had done to her.

  “Sometimes you just have to take a chance and see where it takes you.”

  A loud, rapid knocking echoed throughout the house.

  Silencing her dog, Tom, Olivia threw the rag she’d been cleaning with into the sink, marched over to the door, unbolted it and swung it open.

  And a big grin spread across her face. It was Tessa. They slammed into each other and held on tight with a big hug. No matter how far apart, they had a bond like no one else she knew.

  God, she missed her so much.

  Tessa and Olivia started speaking at the same time, neither able to make out what the other was saying. They looked at each other, waiting to see who would go first. A pregnant pause, then a fit of laughter followed.

  Olivia welcomed Tessa inside her home that was set back off the beaten path with a curvy driveway. It was surrounded by trees with a great deal of land, which was surprising considering she lived in Savannah. She wanted the small town charm but with a city feel. Now she had the best of both worlds.

  “I can’t believe you’re finally here! And I haven’t even put my makeup on or showered yet. I must look so messy,” Olivia drawled, her accent coming back since moving home.

  “I know I was supposed to come later in the day, but I wanted to see you. I waited long enough and wasn’t waiting any longer.”

  “Oh, don’t worry one bit!” Olivia yelled out in excitement, batting her hand as if to say it’s totally fine with her. “I’m just so happy to see you. You have no idea.”

  Olivia wanted to jump around like a little girl opening her first Barbie Corvette Power Wheels on Christmas morning. Tessa was her life support, the oxygen she breathed. Countless times over the years Tessa was the one person who kept her going when times were rough.

  “Take a seat. I just made coffee.”

  Tessa looked around, her eyes landing on the round dinner table.

  “Well someone had a party last night. Was work so bad? And wine?”

  Olivia followed her gaze and stifled a laugh. A box of left over pizza was sitting out with the lid flipped back, a bottle of red wine was uncorked and sitting next to the red Solo cup she had been drinking from.

  “Ugh. It has been a long and hard week. The last two days were the roughest. One patient hit on me, I think…”

  “No shit,” Tessa cut in, looking eager to hear more. Tessa’s expression made her think of Lisa and how she would eat this up, too.

  Olivia glared at her. “Uh uh. No way am I going out with a patient. I know what you’re thinking. Get the thought out of your head right now.”

  Tessa pretended to pout. “Fine,” she said. “You're so boring sometimes.”

  “HA! He's a patient. That’s against code...I think? Though, I swear he was kind of giving off that vibe…” Shaking her head, she continued, “Anyway, someone else came into my office that I hadn't expected to see.”

  Tessa’s brows furrowed as she tried to think of who it could possibly be in Savannah that Olivia wasn’t expecting.

  “Let me have my coffee first and then we’ll go there. Give me a minute to get changed, too. Come, come. Let’s go put your stuff in your room then I'll meet you back here.”

  Olivia showed Tessa to one of the guest rooms then went to get dressed. She grabbed a pair of white shorts and a yellow tank. She walked into her bathroom, brushed her teeth and tied her hair up, wrapping a hair scarf around it. There. The messy bun look. She applied some makeup, never going anywhere without it. It was a subtle look, not caked on.

  Olivia could smell the coffee aroma as it filtered throughout the house. She followed the invisible trail, her feet moving across the soft ivory carpet and into the kitchen where Tessa was waiting for her. She sighed, smiling brightly.

  “You look positively happy, Liv,” Tessa said quietly.

  Olivia fished two mugs out of the cabinet. “I don't think you realize how much I've missed you,” she shrugged, “or how happy I am that you came to visit me. I haven't even come to see you yet.”

  Olivia poured the coffee into the mugs, watching the steam rise from the dark liquid.

  “You’re just busy getting settled and into the swing of things. I get it. Now tell me who was in your office. I’m dying to know. All you said was that you needed me and had news. What’s going on?”

  They stood at her countertop filling their coffee with cream and sugar as Tess waited for her to spill. They very rarely kept secrets between each other.

  Olivia cocked her head to the side and gave a hesitant half smile. “Okay. But you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

  Tessa didn’t even respond, just gave Olivia a look as if she’d been insulted.

  “If I tell you who was there you can't say a word. I
’m not kidding, Tessa. I can get in serious trouble for this, not to mention a huge monetary fine.”

  “Do you really think I would do something to jeopardize your career, Olivia?”

  “Of course I don’t think you would. I trust you. I’ve just never spoken about patients to anyone before, so I’m just edgy telling you. I can't reveal why they were there, or give you any information, only tell you who it was.”

  Silence.

  “Well say it already!” Tessa exclaimed.

  Olivia took a sip of her coffee and let it travel down the back of her throat. Feeling better with at least a little coffee in her, she spoke up.

  “Luke's parents.”

  Tessa gasped loudly, her hand flying to her mouth. “Luke. As in your ex, Luke?” Tessa was speechless, her eyes as big as her mouth.

  “What other Luke would I be talking about? Of course that Luke.”

  “No way.”

  “Yes way. Imagine my shock when I walked into the room and saw them. We just stood there looking at each other with uncomfortable silence hanging in the air.”

  “What did you do?”

  Olivia shrugged her shoulders. “I greeted them and made small talk, of course, before we got into the reason for their visit.”

  “Was Luke there? Did they bring him up?”

  Nodding her head, Olivia pursed her lips together. She gripped her mug and said, “He wasn’t there, but they did bring him up without me having to ask. They just gave up the information, as if I wanted to know. He's doing well it seems... Out on tour somewhere and busy. Loves the music and playing for the crowds. I didn’t want to ask about him, though…”

  Olivia felt a stitch of sadness creep through her. She looked down into her half-full cup and felt her heart sink to the bottom of it.

  “Do you ever talk to him? You know, to catch up?”

  Tessa’s question was laced with a hint of pity. Olivia didn’t want pity. She’d made a choice and had to live with it, regardless of whether she wanted to or not.