Letting Go

by J. M. Witt

  “Just the caterer, nothing I can’t handle.” I pulled my purse off the table along with my bag, shoved my phone inside and started to leave.

  “Cassidy?” James placed his hand on my arm. “Dinner?”

  I dropped my voice so Lena couldn’t hear. “James, I can’t do this. This is unprofessional, I’ll get canned. I have a lot to get done for tonight and the auction next week.”

  “Cassidy, this isn’t over. Not by a long shot. You won’t get rid of me so easily.” He released my arm as I headed out the door with Lena.

  “Not a word Lena.” She nodded as I left James staring after me.

  

  The ballroom was spectacular. The hotel sat on the north end of town, lakeside. The ballroom opened up to a beautiful garden that overlooked the river. There were over two dozen gold and crystal chandeliers that hung from the twenty foot ceiling. The center pieces were in their resting spots and thirty tables formed a circle around the enormous dance floor. It was going to be an amazing night for my first masquerade. Last year I hadn’t attended the event after coming down with a bug during the final preparations. I was giddy just at the thought of my dress and all the other patrons in their costumes that night.

  Cecily was originally against the location choice when I told her we booked the Benedict Ballroom for the masquerade this year. She was convinced they wouldn’t be done with the remodel in time and even booking the auction there was cutting it close. J.J. Benedict had assured me for months that everything would be ready. He was right.

  

  The rest of the day was a flurry of double and triple checking all the arrangements. I had to keep Francis in line, place the floral arrangements, and finalize the seating chart per Mrs. Whitford’s specifications. Before I knew it, my time was up. It was just after five and the doors opened at six-thirty with dinner being served at seven. I had to go get ready.

  I found Lena to let her know I was headed up to my room. I hated her; she didn’t even look like she’d broken a sweat. Me, however, I could feel my blouse clinging to my back. She assured me she’d be up soon to do my hair and makeup. I grabbed my pile of notes, extra brochures, purse and jacket and rushed toward the main elevators.

  I tried to organize my pile of crap when the elevator door dinged open. I walked in, still looking down, unaware of my elevator companion.

  “Twelfth floor?” I simply nodded because I was so preoccupied with my notes.

  I rushed out as Godsmack echoed down the long hallway. I almost dropped the phone trying to answer Cecily’s call and cursed Lena at the same time. The girl had great taste in music, but she had to stop changing my ring tones. “Yes, Cecily…”

  

  ~ JAMES ~

  I entered my room laughing. Godsmack? Interesting. She didn’t look up once to see it was me with her in the elevator and I didn’t have the heart to cause her more stress before the masquerade. I threw my briefcase on the couch and dropped down on the other end as I loosened my tie. I knew this day would come, I just hadn’t predicted it taking so long.

  I was caught off guard in the elevator this morning when she barreled into me and had to stop myself from calling her Blackbird. She was making this harder than I had anticipated. My head was pounding as I pulled the tie from my hair. Resting my elbows on my knees I placed my head in my hands and sighed. Even stressed out, she was breathtaking.

  I had left her alone twice that night; once when the cops were questioning her and again to grab us some coffee from the vending machine. The last time we were in the same room together she was cradled in the arms of a cop. It was evident I was long forgotten as she was carried out of my life, or so I thought. I later discovered that the cop was her brother and set my plan in motion. I hadn’t planned to be kept away from her for so long. She’d haunted my dreams, especially her unforgettable eyes, almost every night since I first laid eyes on her. Now she was just down the hall. This had my father and Aunt Bev written all over it. I remembered my conversation from that morning with Dad.

  As the bellboy hurried out I told him to refuse any tip she may offer. He acknowledged and hurried out with her bags.

  “That boy is terrified of you, James. What did you do to him?

  I ignored his question and sighed.

  “When are you going to talk to her? After all this time, James, what are you waiting for? You’ve avoided her long enough. She’s staying in 1204 for the night. Your Aunt Bev assures me she’s single on top of being an excellent event planner. Nothing is standing in your way.”

  I glared at him and decided to ignore him. I knew it was a mistake to confide in him. “I assume Aunt Bev is paying for the suite? Whatever you’re up to, DON’T! Besides, I have a meeting with her in thirty minutes.” He just chuckled. The man was worse than Mother when it came to meddling. He started to ask me again when I was going to tell her. “Leave it be, Dad.”

  I hadn’t attended the masquerade ball in years. She had to be good if Cecily had given her the reins. I should’ve stayed away from her, for her sake, but I couldn’t, not anymore. And given her response to me at our meeting, she couldn’t either. Just thinking about her had me hard as a rock.

  I checked my watch. The masquerade began in less than an hour. I finished removing my suit, cranked up the sound system and got in the shower. Still rock hard, I obliged my aching cock and was rewarded with a quick and meaningless release.

  I made hasty business of getting ready. GnR was humming through the surround sound system. I shaved off my thickening beard, leaving the goatee, hoping it would help disguise me. I scoffed as Axl started singing about having patience while I put my suit on. I pulled my hair back, put on my mask and checked my watch again. I made my way to the elevator and tugged at my tie. I normally hated these functions, but I was hopeful tonight would be different. It was a quarter after six and I thought that maybe she had already headed down. I heard the click of her door.

  

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  I had to get down stairs. Lena had left several minutes ago and I had assured her I’d be right behind her. She hadn’t inquired about James and I was thankful. I checked myself in the floor-length mirror for the tenth time and recalled dress shopping, which was an absolute nightmare.

  After a long day of dress shopping with Lena a few weeks back, she told me about a shop across town that rented designer dresses for all occasions. It was in the posh part of town so I took her word for it. She was an absolute life saver. I needed a masquerade dress and one for the auction. We headed to the shop, and after trying on dozens of gowns, I settled on a one shoulder blue number for the auction and a black strapless gothic ball gown for the masquerade. Both dresses fit like a glove. I had never worn anything so elegant and I was nervous as hell. Lena assured me that I would knock them dead both nights.

  I checked my hair and makeup, again thanks to Lena, miracle worker that she was. I was tying my mask when my phone started buzzing again. “Shit.” I looked to see it was just a text from Calvin.

  Knock them dead, sis!

  I smiled at his text while grabbing my evening bag and double checked that my key was in it. “You got this, Cassidy.” I made my way out the door.

  I froze when I saw a masked man standing by the elevator. “Shit.” I tried to catch my door before it locked. Click. Too late, I couldn’t turn back now. The masked man lifted his head and smiled. Good Lord. Now that’s a smile to make hearts melt. I returned the smile as I walked his way. Please don’t trip, please don’t trip…

  James immediately went stiff as the ache in his pants was renewed. The shower had done nothing to cool him down. She looked fabulous with her flaming red hair pinned up with a few pieces framing her face. The dress was strapless, black and olive green taffeta. The floor-length gown hugged her curves perfectly and puddled at her feet on the floor. As she approached, James could see that she was feigning bravery as she smiled hesitantly. He was mesmerized by the blue lagoons that were her eyes; her black filigree mask just
pronounced them more.

  I made it to the elevator, without tripping. Whoever he was, he was sex on legs. His dark hair was slicked back and I noticed he was clean shaven except for a goatee. His mask looked like solid steel and did nothing to give away his identity as it covered most of his face. The suit hugged him in all the right places that I could see and was all black except for the green tie that almost perfectly matched my dress. His hands were in his pockets and he flashed an incredible, familiar smile at me. I struggled to keep eye contact and to keep my breathing even.

  “Good evening, Miss Charles. You’re a vision.”

  The minute I heard his voice I knew it was him. Shit! What was he playing at? “Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize you’d be attending the masquerade tonight.”

  He pushed the down button to the elevator and outstretched his hand toward me. I don’t know why I offered my hand to him, but I did. He raised it to his lips and kissed my wrist. His touch sent a thrill through me. His lips lingered a little longer than necessary and I blushed before pulling my hand away. He released my hand as the elevator doors opened. “Shall we?” I stepped in and he followed, pushed the button for the lobby and the doors closed.

  He still hadn’t answered my question and I wasn’t going to press the issue. I turned to him as he closed the distance between us. “You look ravishing.”

  I tried to maneuver around him and got tangled in my dress. I was instantly aware of his hands on me, one on my upper arm and the other around my back. The hand on my back began caressing my skin leaving me short of breath. We were against the wall when I looked up at him. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

  “Pardon me.” I looked into those green eyes at the same time his masculine scent traveled through my senses. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and inhale deeply. I was instantly turned on and scared as hell. What was wrong with me?

  “You should watch where you’re going, Blackbird.”

  Why did he always call me that? I mean, it was endearing and I kind of liked it. I started mumbling, but before I knew it, that sweet breath of his mingled with mine. I closed the last inch between us as his lips softly pressed to mine. I had lost all sense, kissing a man I barely know, again. I reached my hands up to his head and freed his hair without thought and started running my fingers through the damp strands. He responded with a groan and deepened the kiss as his hands ran across my back. His hands were like hot stones, velvety hard. His tongue ran across my upper lip which caused me to shudder.

  “I’ve imagined this moment for ages, Cassidy. I’ve tried staying away.” I opened my eyes to see that his eyes were now a vibrant green. I moaned as he rubbed his arousal against my hip. His cologne was intoxicating and I felt like I was in a fog. I ran my fingertips over his smooth cheek.

  The elevator bounced to a stop and chimed that we had reached the lobby. He growled, pushing away from me just as the doors opened.

  “Cassidy, come on. Cecily is here!” Lena grabbed my hand, oblivious to what and who had just happened to me and pulled me toward the ballroom. I gazed back at James, breathless, and the smile was back on his face. What the hell just happened?

  Chapter Four – Masquerade…

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  I didn’t have time to contemplate it further. Cecily was here and she didn’t have much to say. I had worked for her long enough to know that when she was quiet, she was pleased. Shortly after the doors opened the guests started piling in. Lena and I were busy welcoming guests when Mrs. Whitford walked in. I made my way over to her, happy to see a familiar face. She was beaming!

  “Well done, my girl. Everything looks fabulous. And you look stunning. I almost didn’t recognize you with the mask. Why are you still single? I have a feeling that you won’t be for long.” I blushed as she kissed my cheek and I thanked her for the many compliments. “I just love Halloween. It’s my favorite time of year.” I chuckled at her enthusiasm. “You remember my daughter Jane.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  I shook Jane’s hand and we began catching up from the last time we’d seen one another. She was an attractive brunette with brown eyes and stood a few inches shorter than me. She was single, recently moved back home and, I was guessing, around my age. I would love to get to know her better. Something told me we could be great friends.

  Everything ran smoothly through dinner. I was seated with Mrs. Whitford, at her request, though I didn’t have time to enjoy my meal. James was seated next to Jane and it was apparent to me that they knew one another. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were more than friends, or were at one time.

  I was still turned on and humiliated all at once. He made me lose self-control too easily. I avoided eye contact, but anytime I tried to sneak a peek at him I would discover him already drilling his eyes into mine.

  The wait staff began to remove all evidence of dinner as couples made their way to the dance floor. The music fell right in with a masquerade ball theme; dark and haunting classical melodies filled the air with the occasional gothic rock ballad. Mrs. Whitford was very serious when it came to her annual masquerade.

  I had just returned from the powder room and was admiring my handiwork from my spot in the corner; everyone seemed to be having a great time. I was suddenly startled when someone spoke in my ear from behind.

  “May I have this dance, Cassidy?”

  Startled, I turned to him. His hand was outstretched and he was holding out a blood red peony for me, which he had clearly pulled from one of the floral arrangements. I took it cautiously. Knowing I should refuse him, especially if he was attending with Jane, I cautiously placed my hand in his and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor.

  I instantly recognized the song that began to play. Phantom of the Opera was my favorite musical. It didn’t matter how many times I saw the musical, I always hoped for a different ending; I’d always felt sorry for the Phantom. I thought if it were me, I’d pick the Phantom every time. Music of the Night played its dark seductive notes as James pulled me into a strong embrace and glided us across the dance floor with ease.

  The lights were low, his head bent and I could feel his steamy breath grazing my ear. “You look lovely, Cassidy.”

  The flutters rose up again and my senses were in overdrive. His gravelly voice raked over my being. I could listen to him read the phone book. I felt like a girl who just had her first kiss with a giddy ball of nerves and a flock of butterflies flitting about in my stomach. I rested my cheek on his shoulder and enjoyed the moment; a moment I wanted to last forever, knowing it couldn’t.

  I gazed around the floor and saw Mrs. Whitford and Jane looking at us while they exchanged some words. I raised my head and stared into his eyes. He simply gazed back as I abruptly tried to pull away from him.

  “I’m sorry, I’m being terribly rude. You should be dancing with Jane, your date, Mr. Benedict.”

  His hold on me was unbreakable. He would not let go. “Jane is fine. I assure you, she’s not my date, Cassidy, you are. And I said to call me James.”

  “James, this can’t happen.”

  He pulled me tight against him again. He whispered into my ear, “It already has, Cassidy.”

  I was lost in the music and in the warmth of his arms. His cologne had intoxicated me. I felt like we were alone in the room, that night only meant for us. The hand between my shoulder blades slowly traced its way to my lower back. He was on the verge of being inappropriate, but I didn’t dare stop him. It was beyond intimate what was going on between us.

  I whispered, “James, I apologize for the incident in the elevator and your office. I’ve given you the wrong impression. It won’t happen again.”

  “Cassidy, what are you worried about? We’re grown adults indulging in our attraction.” The song began its demise. I searched his eyes as the song completed its haunting melody. He pulled me outside to the terrace, dragging me to a corner not yet occupied by other couples. “Cassidy, I know you feel it, too.” He pulled his mask off. />
  “Cassidy! Cassidy Charles.”

  I turned to see my boss headed my way. There was no avoiding her. I put on my best game face, flashing a smile. “Yes, Cecily?”

  “I knew you had it in you. You did a marvelous job. I didn’t realize you were acquainted with James.” She smiled at James and he nodded in return. “We have a few things to discuss, but they can wait. I expect to see you first thing Monday.” She turned away before I even had a chance to respond. I still couldn’t figure that woman out even after working for her for three years.

  I was then bombarded by other guests and staff with compliments and other tasks regarding the entire evening. Getting time alone with James to digest all of what had happened would have to wait. Reluctantly, he left me to my work.

  The evening finally wrapped up and I looked for him in the diminishing crowd, but he was nowhere to be seen. Jane came over with a glass of champagne and a huge smile on her face. I happily took the drink and swallowed its contents whole.

  “James isn’t your date is he?”

  She smiled and said, “No, Cassidy, he’s yours.”

  “What is wrong with you people?!” I removed my mask and placed it in my purse.

  “He knows what he wants and that’s you!”

  She kissed me on the cheek and congratulated me on a successful night before leaving. I was speechless and didn’t have a chance to ask her meaning. I proceeded with some cleanup duties for what felt like hours.

  Long after midnight I made my way back to the terrace and the balcony. The lights of the city sparkled like diamonds on the water and it made me remember how Holly loved walking by the river at night. The tears snuck up on me at the thought of her and started rolling down my face. I missed her so much. I began to shake from pure exhaustion, or the cold, I’m not sure which.

  My feet were killing me, and before I had a chance to remove my heels, I felt his presence. I didn’t need to turn to see his face, I knew it was him. I felt the weight of his jacket fall around my shoulders. The jacket was warm, like him and my shivering began to subside.