by Robin Roseau
I stretched, looking around. We were short on enforcers, but I trusted they were somewhere. None were in fur. Well, too bad for them. They could catch up. I turned my nose north, barked twice more, and set off at a comfortable pace for a fox. Rebecca and Celeste followed along behind me but quickly grew tired of my pace. They began ranging ahead and running back to me.
It was good to let them wear themselves out.
Around me, I heard the enforcers. They were trying to maintain a circle around us, but that was a more difficult problem for them than it was for me. I could have been a few hundred yards out and held a circle, but the wolves didn't have the same way of keeping track of me. They could use scent to follow our trail, or they could watch us visually. And so periodically I heard a wolf moving closer to reestablish contact with us. I had wanted the appearance of a run with just the pups, and so I had asked Serena to maintain a more distant presence. But they flat out weren't capable of doing so in the thick forest.
Their coming and going was actually more disruptive than their normal style of watching us.
I huffed, came to a stop, and barked three times.
The girls were well behaved. They ran back to me and then plopped to their stomachs. Just as importantly, Serena bounded up to us. I shifted back to skin and turned to her. "This isn't your fault," I said. "I wanted a quiet run with my daughters." I shook my head and said in a quiet voice. "I just wanted a simple, quiet run. This isn't working though. Guard us however you want or whatever is easiest."
I didn't wait for a response. I shifted back into fur and ran north, the pups scampering to keep up. Moments later, they were back to chasing each other around.
Serena howled briefly, calling the other enforcers in. After that, they surrounded us much more closely, with Serena never more than a few paces from me. Portia remained close as well. The other enforcers arranged themselves so as to keep track of the pups.
I ran us north another five minutes before calling Rebecca and Celeste to me. We turned west.
I knew they wanted to catch rabbits. My girls loved catching rabbits. But we didn't have time for a proper hunt.
In the distance, Lara howled. Rebecca and Celeste immediately came to a stop, sat down, and lifted their own noses, calling to their mother.
They were so cute!
I trotted over to them and plopped down, waiting.
We were less than ten fox minutes from the compound, and we hadn't been running at my fastest speed. And so Lara closed the distance quickly. Ever few seconds, she let out a brief howl, which the pups answered in unison.
I tracked Lara's progress with my ears. She had two wolves with her -- I guessed them to be Elisabeth and Karen. Only a few moments later Lara leapt in amongst us. The pups ran to their mother and greeted her exuberantly. She gave them licks before turning to me. I let her greet me, but I was still upset. I flowed into skin. "The girls need a longer run, but we have guests coming soon. I'm heading home, but you should spend time with your daughters."
Lara huffed disapproval, but I was in a mood. I jumped, shifting to fox, my nose turned towards the compound. A moment later Serena and Portia flanked me. I listened, and then I heard Lara leading the girls away.
Good. They needed a run, and Lara didn't often run with them without me. This would be good for them. They were growing up, and I could barely keep up with them now. In another year or two, they would begin to leave me behind on our runs.
The thought saddened me. I let out a huff of my own and continued to home.
Perspective
Thursday was a college day for me. The weather was still questionable. The relative humidity was high, and it was cool. I was worried about icing. And so we drove instead of taking the helicopter.
I used the travel time to study.
We got back home right at dinnertime, and then I spent the evening studying further, not heading to bed until well after midnight. Lara waited up for me, and she looked up when I entered the bedroom.
"Michaela."
"I'm tired, Lara."
"I'm worried."
I moved to the closet, changed out of my clothes, and pulled on pajamas. I glanced at Lara on the way to the bathroom. "Why are you worried?"
"I'm worried about you, Little Fox."
I grunted noncommittally before disappearing into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took care of my other needs then stared into the mirror.
I looked haggard. I never looked haggard.
I flipped out the light and returned to the bedroom. I didn't say anything as I crawled into bed. Lara was sitting up, and so I laid my head in her lap while pulling the covers up to my shoulders. She set a hand on my head and began petting my hair.
"I love you," she said quietly. "You know that, don't you?"
"I know," I said just as quietly.
"I'm worried," she said again.
"You already said that."
"I don't know what to do."
"My race is nearly extinct," I said. "Everyone believes I'm the last living fox in the lower 48 states. They think there might at most be one or two isolated bands in Canada or Alaska, but for all we know, I'm the last living red werefox. Sonya could easily be the last living white werefox. I didn't even know we came in white."
She bent down and kissed my hair.
"We're nearly extinct, but the world is filled with wolves that want to hurry the day the last werefox dies. What's wrong with those people, Lara? How can anyone want something like that?"
"I don't know, darling, but I'm not going to let it happen."
"You're frantically clutching at me, trying to prevent it," I said. "But we know it's inevitable. You can't keep me safe forever. Eventually someone is going to come along and take me from you."
"No!" she screamed, dragging me into her arms. "No!"
I let her squeeze me.
"It's inevitable," I said. "All these things you do are going to be futile. You couldn't stop Carissa-"
"We have a lot more wolves than she can send vampires after us!"
"She or Kristian could take me any time they want," I said. "So could Ekaterina."
"No."
"Yes, Lara. You don't fully appreciate how fast they are. Lara, Carissa moves faster than I can follow. I watched her go from one side of the room to the other, and from the sound, I know she didn't teleport or anything like that. But it looked like she teleported. She was here; then she was there. Kristian is just as fast. I assume all the ancient vampires are. Any of them could take me any time he chooses. I'm convinced Kristian could have taken me even from a circle of enforcers."
"Michaela, no. I won't allow it."
"When I go to school, there are only four of us: me and three enforcers. I'm good, Lara, but I know Greg could take me there. I don't know if he could do it without a bloodbath, but he could set up with three sharpshooters for my escort and four or six more wolves to take me seconds after. It would be harder here, but not impossible."
"Michaela, don't think about that. Greg would never-"
"Maybe not, but he's just an example." I rolled my head over to look at her. "You can't keep me safe, Lara. You can't. I lived as long as I did because I ran. I ran a lot. I controlled my interactions with wolves. I didn't stay in one place. I moved, I moved, I moved, until I got here. Now, all the wolves in the world know where to find a fox, and it's only a matter of time."
"Michaela-"
I rolled back.
"It doesn't matter what you do, Lara. Everyone knows where to find me. How many have tried?"
She stilled, but didn't say anything.
"Does Elisabeth kill them?"
"Yes."
"Eventually one of my friends is going to get killed protecting me, Lara."
"And that will be the fault of the rabid animal who wants to commit genocide, Little Fox," Lara said. "It will not be yours. I will point out that excepting our trip to North Carolina, no one from Madison has received more than a few bruises dealing with this. But do you wan
t to call the enforcers up here and see which want to give up?"
I didn't respond to that.
"Do you want to leave me, Michaela?"
"No."
"I want to point out a few things. I know you've had a few people talking to you lately about compromises. I can't speak for the entire world, but within North America, you are the only non-wolf mated to an alpha. There are a few pack councils that have one or two human members, but you are the only non-wolf were on a pack council that I know of. Furthermore, neither your title of Alpha nor your position on the council are honorary."
"No one treats me as your equal, Lara."
"No. We're not equal. We're amazingly different. It would be difficult for us to be more different. I want you to think about something. Have you noticed during council meetings that if an issue has been discussed, but you haven't commented, that eventually, everyone turns to you to see what you have to say?"
"Not about business topics."
"No, not about business topics. But about everything else."
I thought about it. "Yes, I've noticed."
"They don't do that to me, Michaela. If I haven't chimed in, they assume I'm happy with the conversation. But they know you'll say something critical to the conversation."
"Not always."
"No, but often enough to ask you to speak up. It's not lip service, Michaela. Oh sure, some of them are dismissive and wish they could be more so, but three quarters of the council hate closing a conversation if you haven't chimed in."
I thought about it but didn't say anything. Instead, I rearranged myself to be a little more comfortable, letting Lara cradle me a little. It felt good to be in her arms, even as insecure as I was feeling about our relationship.
We lay quietly for a minute or two, but then she placed her other hand against my cheek, then lifted my chin so that we were looking into each other's eyes. "I want your list of concerns."
I looked into her eyes for a moment then wriggled my head until she released me a little, and I lowered my eye until I was staring across the room instead.
"It's ridiculous I can't walk alone the twenty steps from our door to the school. It's ridiculous I can't go for a run alone on pack lands. It's insulting no one thinks I can take care of myself."
She said nothing for a minute, waiting. Finally she asked, "Is that all?"
"No. Why do you and Elisabeth keep trying to make me even more helpless?"
"Anything else?"
"If I'm truly Alpha, then when I tell the enforcers to remove their hands from me, they should remove their hands! I'm the only one in the pack they treat that way."
"Is that all?"
I thought about it and nodded.
"All right. Let's begin with Elisabeth. I will point out that I have never done anything to discourage you from carrying your knives. If you remember, I gave you a belt with a built in, silvered garrote."
"You like the way she dresses me."
"Yes, I do, but I haven't encouraged her, and I've been very careful to stay out of it, as much as I can."
"You're saying that's between me and Elisabeth."
"I would like to know if you are still blaming me."
I thought carefully then said quietly, "No. But you haven't stopped her, either."
"You're Alpha, Michaela. If you don't like it, you stop her."
"Really?"
"Of course."
I paused before continuing. "I told her she had to find a way for me to keep my knives or as Alpha, I was negating the wager. My safety is more important than the wager."
"I know. She told me."
"There's something you're not telling me, though." She didn't say anything, and then I asked, "Why is this so important to her? Serena said it's because she wishes she could dress that way."
Lara caressed my cheek, and I thought perhaps she wanted a moment to collect an answer. I waited, and then she said in a slow, careful voice, "Michaela, Elisabeth is in love with you."
We both stilled, and then I said, "I know."
"She's been fascinated by you since the first night you met."
"When I tricked her?"
"Yes, and when you played with her. You fit right into her emotional vulnerabilities. Because you're so small and delicate, she's driven to protect you, the same way I am. Because you're so hard to catch, she's driven to chase you, the same way I am. And, of course, she's deeply fascinated by your clever, foxy ways. After that, the rest was inevitable, especially when you spent so much time together while dealing with David."
"Is this why Zoe wasn't enough for her?"
"She needs someone who shifts into fur," Lara replied. "She needs someone who can challenge her while still allowing her to be dominant."
"Should I-"
She caressed my cheek. "How long have you realized she was in love with you?"
"Years."
"And how long do you suppose I have?"
"Probably longer than I have."
"If I thought you should change anything, we would have talked."
I looked up at her. "You're not jealous?"
"Neither of you would ever act on this," Lara said. "All three of us know that."
"Except, apparently, she wants to dress me. This doesn't sound healthy, Lara."
"Are you asking my advice?" she asked. I nodded. "Let her treat you like she's your big sister. You call her 'Sister' often enough. Is your only objection to the dresses the lack of a place for your knives?" I nodded again. "Then decide what you want to do about that."
I thought about it and nodded once more.
"Let's talk about the security," she said. "No one thinks you're incapable of taking care of yourself. But you yourself admitted that you have limits." I opened my mouth to complain, but she covered my lips. "Let me finish." And so I nodded. I was doing a lot of nodding, it seems.
"You have an instinctual, self-taught idea of security," Lara said. "But Elisabeth and I have formal training, years of training. And she's gotten more from Lima Consulting. Do you agree we both know things about personal security that you don't?"
"Yes, of course."
"There's a concept you understand at some level, but perhaps not formally. It's the idea of layers of security. On your own, you rely on a few layers. You run from danger, controlling your interactions with the wolves that would threaten you. That's one layer. You control the interaction. That's a second layer. You use your stealth. You use your traps and your wits. And now you have your knives. Each of those are a layer of security. Your reputation is another layer. Do you see?"
"Yes, I think so."
"The more layers you put up, the safer you are. Yes?"
"Yes."
"I am not replacing your layers, Michaela. You have given up some layers to live here. As you say, everyone knows where you are. But I replace the layers you've given up with my own. Serena is a layer, and she offers a type of security you can't replicate."
"I understand that."
"Serena represents more than one layer. She offers the direct layer, but if everyone knows she's there, that's a layer just like your reputation is a layer. Anyone who goes after you has to go through her and still face your knives. By now, the only wolves in North America who think they can do that solo are the ones who absolutely cannot."
"Carissa wouldn't bat an eye."
"No, but the vampires aren't interested in a fox hunt. They may want to collect you, but they don't want to kill you. Let's focus on protecting you from wolves for now."
"A solo wolf couldn't do it," I said. "But a group could."
"Right. Which is why Serena isn't alone. But let's take this in a different direction for a minute. One of the layers of security is the sure knowledge that I protect you. You don't go anywhere without a security detail. Which means there aren't people simply waiting for you to be alone."
"Shit," I said.
"Yeah. Shit."
"Every time I act up-"
"Yeah. Michaela, it's not that you need Se
rena to make it safely to the school, although I'll point out someone could be waiting in your office."
"They'd trip the alarms."
"Someone very good could override the alarms. The alarms are another layer, but they aren't foolproof. We don't rely on them alone."
I sighed. She was winning the argument, and I didn't like it.
"So, you could make it to the school, but if people know you routinely walk to school unguarded-"
"We've given up a fairly important layer, the knowledge that I'm always protected. On top of my own layers."
"Perhaps not on top. In addition to. We use the word layers, but they aren't necessarily a hierarchy. Whose reputation do you think gives more pause? Yours or mine?"
"I don't know."
"Neither do I. Some people are more afraid of you than me. Others are more afraid of me."
"I understand, Lara."
"There are layers I haven't told you about, and I'm not done adding them."
"Lara-"
"Just listen," she said. "Lima Consulting is holding a ten million dollar retainer. If anyone goes after you, and the Madison Pack isn't able to deal with it ourselves, he is obligated to do his best."
I grew still at that.
"It covers the pups, too," she added. "And he has quietly made sure the other outfits similar to his know about it. None of them want a war with Lima. Which means it is virtually impossible to hire one of Lima's counterparts. That's not absolute protection, but it's a pretty significant layer."
"Lara-"
She covered my lips again, but I spoke around them. "I cost you ten million dollars?"
"This is a fairly typical thing to do," Lara said. "And even if I didn't do it to protect you, I'd do it to protect the pups. Although they aren't remotely the target you are. They're just a couple of pups of a fairly unimportant pack alpha."
I lay still, somewhat overwhelmed by everything she was saying.
"Let's talk about the vampires," Lara said eventually. "Carissa represents a layer. We've become more visible to the vampires, but as you've said, everyone in North America knows about you already. But we received attention none of the other packs received, and you can bet the other packs are wondering what that means. You can also bet the vampires are, too. I don't care for the extra exposure, and I have concerns we'll get embroiled in vampire affairs from this. But you can bet the other wolves are at least wondering what our relationship with Carissa is."
