The Inner Struggle: Beginnings Series Book 7

by Jacqueline Druga

  “He’s one.” Ellen sat on the bed.

  “Yeah, but he’s already exhibiting signs of a true Slagel with all that daredevil shit, jumping down the steps.”

  “Like I said, he’s one.” Ellen grabbed the tee shirt. “It’s cute though. Did you pull out the other plastic gun?”

  Embarrassed like, Frank titled his head, “Yeah, but like everything else it went into his mouth,. So that has to wait. Now Joey,” Frank grinned, “that kid is a natural. He looks the part.”

  “He looks just like you, exactly like you.” Ellen lay down sideways on the bed watching Frank. “So, what were you coming over for?”

  “You first.” Frank folded the last item, removed the basket from the bed and lay on the bed on his side facing her. “Why are you here?”

  “To see how you are.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “After today, with your lopsided fight with John.” She touched his small red spot on his lip.

  “Ow El, war wound.”

  Ellen laughed at him. She propped her head up with her hand.

  “Can you stay a while?”

  “Sounds serious. What’s up?”

  “You and I have to talk. We need to talk.”

  “Did I do something?” Ellen asked.

  “Nope. But I’d like you too.”

  “Frank no. I can’t. No. Besides the fact that I physically can’t make love to you, I . . .”

  “Whoa.” Frank covered her mouth. “As much as I would like to be close to you and God knows it’s been forever, that’s not what I want you to do.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Now see. I didn’t even ask.” Frank took on a serious look. “First off, let me tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for doubting you about John Matoose being in with George.”

  Ellen immediately got excited. “You know? You have proof. Yes! Are you gonna beat him up again, Frank? You’re gonna kill him aren’t you. No wait, better yet, drop him off somewhere so he’s stuck outside the walls.” She nodded with a huge grin.

  “No, John is going to stay in Beginnings.”

  “How can that be? That sucks.”

  “But, it’s the only way we can get to George. If he’s working for George on the inside, it is a sure fire way to mislead George and eventually find out all we can about him.”

  “I guess in a way that’s smart. What do you need me for? To testify against him? Of course I don’t know where I’m going to . . .”

  “El.” Frank halted her. “God, how does Henry deal with the rambling? O.K., John isn’t just going to volunteer his George info. He may have a lot. We don’t know. We have to get close to him. I already apologized for beating him up so he doesn’t think I beat him up because he’s in with George. We have to find out what he does, when he does it, and everything we can about his twelve hours he doesn’t work. Got that? We know he’s communicating with George. We don’t need to prove it. We need to get information on how he’s bringing us down. How he’s planning it. What he’s doing. Are you listening?” He waited for her to nod. “If we bust him and let him know it, George’s plan of action could change. This way if we find out through John, we can beat George for certain at his own game.”

  “Frank, you made a rhyme. That’s cute.”

  Frank winced. “Thanks. Anyhow, getting close to John is part of the plan. That’s where you come in.”

  “Oh this is secret spy stuff. I get to be a spy for you, don’t I, Frank?”

  “Yes. You will report anything and everything to me.” Frank told her.

  “Everything?”

  “No matter how minuscule.”

  “Even if it’s he doesn’t wear underwear?”

  “El.” Frank closed his eyes. “You know what I mean. Patterns. Hiding places he could have. I’ll check that out.”

  “Oh I love this.” Ellen rambled again fast and furiously. “I love playing a spy. Remember when me and Henry were the spies finding that wall. I still remember you called us the misfits of mystery. Boy, were you mean. But who was right Frank? Is that why you’re asking for my help? Is it?”

  Frank nodded. “You were right about the wall. And I’m asking you because both my Dad and me think you’re the one who can do it.”

  “Yes, Joe’s in on it. It has to be big.”

  “El . . .”

  Ellen smiled. “I get to follow him around huh?”

  “No.”

  “Harass him again?”

  “No.” Frank shook his head. “I need you to get close to the man, not cause him to kill you.”

  “Oh.” Ellen brought her fingers to her lips. “Let me think. Close.” Her hand lowered and a horrified look came over her face. “Oh my God! You want me to sleep with John to get close to him.”

  “No!” Frank snapped back.

  “Thank God.” Ellen let out a breath. “What other way is there to get close.”

  “Not John, Jenny.”

  “Oh my God! You want me to sleep with Jenny!”

  “El, fuck. No. Not sleep with Jenny, get close to her. Christ I can’t believe you’d even say that. Anyhow.” Frank changed his demeanor. “We think through Jenny, we can inadvertently find out a lot about John. Be Jenny’s friend. Her confidant. Can you do that?”

  “I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “So you won’t do it.”

  “Actually . . .” Ellen smiled. “This can be fun. But how? We hate each other.”

  “My dad thought of that. He said go to her for guidance.” He heard Ellen laugh loudly. “El, she’s the female ring leader around here. That’s probably why most of the women don’t like you. In fact, if you get close to Jenny, you'll get close to the other women. Who knows what you’ll find out?”

  “I don’t have to type stupid reports do I? Joe gives me enough of those.”

  “No, but you do have to report to me on a daily basis. We’ll review progress and anything you learned. So will you?”

  Ellen grinned. “Yeah I’ll do it.”

  “Thanks.” Frank leaned to her and kissed her quickly. “Wait a day or two until the John getting beat up thing has calmed own, all right.”

  “Yes.” She held up her hand. “Can I tell Henry? It would be fun to watch him cringe when he sees me and Jenny being friends. But it wouldn’t be very nice to do. Can I or am I not allowed?”

  “You can tell Henry. He has a role to play in this too. I’ll talk to him tomorrow about it.”

  “O.K. but let me be the one to tell him about Jenny. Promise.”

  “You got it.” Frank let out a long breath as if the burden of the conversation was over.

  “Frank?”

  Frank looked at her in the silence.

  “Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “Letting me work with you. I’ve never worked with you before. I’m glad you letting me be a part of it and if it means talking like this all the time, I’d like that. I like when we talk.”

  “I do too, El.”

  “You know.” Her hand reached to his and her finger tips grazed across his rough ones. “You know, if you ever need to talk to me, about anything, day or night, I’m here.”

  “I know this.”

  “Do you?” She questioned. “Do you know that if you’re upset you can knock on my door? If things are hard for you, you can come to me to help you? Do you know this? I’d do anything for you, Frank.”

  “Why . . . Why are you being all serious all of the sudden? You went from Chatty Kathy to Suzy Serious. What’s up?”

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “Worried about me? El, why?” Frank spoke softly. “I’ve got my life together. I have my kids. I have a great new son. I have you in my life.” He covered her mouth. “Not as much as I’d like, but I’m working on that.” He let his hand go. “Don’t worry. O.K.?”

  “No, it’s not O.K.. A couple days ago you said to me that I don’t know what it’s like to have someone you’ve known most of your life not want to be with you. W
ell you Frank, don’t know what it’s like when the person you’ve known most of your life chooses not to come to you when they’re down and unload on you.”

  “I come to you. I come to you about everything.”

  “No you don’t.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because Frank, and you might get mad at me for saying this, but you don’t let it out. You drink instead.”

  “Ellen.” Frank covered his face. “Are we talking about my drinking again? I don’t have a problem.”

  “Maybe not.”

  “I have a few drinks at night, so what?”

  “So what?” Ellen’s pitch of her voice rose. “Frank, are you gonna tell me you haven’t been drinking more lately? A lot more lately?” Frank was silent. “You have. I saw it the other night. You were upset. You had to have that drink. Hon, that’s not good.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I’m right?” Ellen was stunned.

  “You’re right. I do drink more lately. And when I’m upset I have a drink to calm me. That’s it. I don’t have a problem. But . . .”

  “Frank.”

  “Hear me out. But . . .” He held up his hand. “If you think it could turn into a problem. I’ll cut back. How’s that? I love having a drink, El. But I won’t drink as much anymore.”

  “Not every day?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  Ellen thought about it. “You can’t drink every day. You can drink like you used to, a few drinks a week. But not every day, a few times a day. Will you do that for me?”

  “Yes.” Frank nodded his head at her.

  “Why are you being so agreeable about this? I expected more of a fight.”

  “Because you weren’t fighting with me on it.” Frank ran his hand down her face. “You came to me calmly, as my friend, and I heard you.” He kissed her quickly. “If someone that’s known you for over twenty years makes a serious suggestion, you have to put stock in it. I know the difference between Ellen bitching and Ellen concern and you aren’t bitching tonight.”

  “Thank you Frank.” Ellen closed her eyes and smiled. “Thank you for this. You doing this means a lot to me. I was getting worried.”

  “I know and just to show you it’s not a problem, I will follow your rules. O.K.?”

  “Not rules Frank, requests.”

  “Requests.” Frank gave a sneaky grin. “Besides, it’s the least I can do. If I can’t give up my drinking, how can I expect you to give up your dignity by hanging around Jenny Matoose?”

  Ellen cringed some. “I would be doing that wouldn’t I? But hey! At least I’ll look really good when I’m standing next to her.” Ellen looked down at her watch. “All right, we have forty-five minutes left. What do you want to do?”

  Frank raised his eyebrows a few times.

  “Right.”

  “You know, you could help me put your children’s laundry away.”

  “I knew I’d get roped into that if I came upstairs.” Ellen slowly lifted herself from the bed and looked at the overflowing basket. “When’s the last time you did laundry, Frank?”

  “A few days ago. They’re kids El. They get dirty.” He stood up and grabbed the top of the stack. “Help?”

  “Yeah I’ll help. You put the kids’ stuff away, I’ll put yours away.”

  “Deal.” Frank lifted the basket to the bed and removed the kids clothing. “Be right back.”

  Ellen lifted Frank’s tee shirts. “Are your drawers still the same?”

  “Sort of. I kind of spread things out since I have more room.” He walked to her laying his hand on her face. “But I’d gladly give it all up again.” He smiled and stepped back. “Thanks for tonight. I’ll be right back.”

  Ellen waited until he left and grabbed his small stack of shirts. She took them to his dresser and opened the drawer she where she remembered them being. “Socks.” She moved to the next drawer. “Underwear. Man, Frank, you aren’t kidding you spread out.” Opening the next she saw it was the correct one, but she paused before laying in the shirts. There, staring up at her, was a half empty bottle of moonshine. Ellen laid the other shirts in there and took the bottle from the drawer. She closed the drawer with her knees, all while holding up the bottle and staring at it with concern. Nothing frightened her more about Frank’s drinking than finding that bottle. After shifting her eyes several times from the bedroom door to the moonshine, Ellen left the bedroom. She walked to the bathroom and without hesitating, dumped the moonshine in the sink, hoping the whole time that Frank’s new promise to her didn’t spin down that drain right along with it.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  JULY 7

  Robbie was filled with a sense of sadness, perhaps more emptiness as he watched the Beginning’s helicopter hover near, but not too near, the ground to drop off supplies. Robbie stood there while the three remaining healthy men, besides him, grabbed the two crates. He didn’t smile nor did he flinch from the whipping chopper blades. He stood tall, watching Frank. His brother hunched down some staring back at Robbie through the open side door of that helicopter. Frank’s back pressed tightly to the edge of the door to secure himself from falling when the helicopter began to lift.

  Robbie watched Frank smile, and give a closed fighting fist to his brother that rang out ‘proud’, a look only a big brother could give. It made Robbie’s stomach twitch, and he kept eye contact with Frank as the chopper raised up. Then Frank did something he didn’t expect. How long had it been? Certainly Frank had never done that to Robbie ever and certainly not since the onset of the plague but in essence it made a sort of sense to Robbie. Robbie and his men were the warriors battling a war they so desperately wanted to keep far from Beginnings. Did it still mean anything? It was always a form of respect but to Robbie it meant more at that moment than any words Frank could ever say to him. The firm salute that Frank gave him went right through him. With a shaking hand, Robbie returned it, keeping the fear from his face as he did. Fear that his last moments with his family would be spent watching them in a distance, if he saw them at all.

  The helicopter left, and Robbie breathed deeply turning around to the men unpacking the crates. “Keep the medical supplies separate. Marty is down now and Dean was supposed to leave directions,” he mumbled as he moved passed the food and supply crate, “or something like that.”

  “Robbie,” One of the men called to him, “is this it? The directions?”

  Robbie retracted his steps, moving to the man who held out an envelope. A part of him shook when he saw the handwriting across the front. “No. It should be in there though.” He took the letter holding it and closing his eyes briefly before walking away with it. Why was it there? It wasn’t something he thought would arrive, but it was something he needed.

  “Robbie, this is for Greg. Can you give it to him?”

  “Sure.” Robbie took the second envelop chuckling at the badly written word ‘Dad’ on it. He walked with the envelopes to be alone and far from the others. He stopped at Greg who sat up on a blanket drinking a cup of water. “How’s it going Greg?”

  “I told you I would beat this, didn’t I?” Greg’s words were breathy.

  “Yep, you did. Glad you’re feeling better, Greg. This is for you.”

  Greg smiled as he took the letter from his son. “Thanks Robbie. I see you got one too.”

  “Yeah.” Robbie grinned. “Ellen.” He tapped the envelope on his lips. “I’m gonna uh, go over there to read it. Maybe she wrote something dirty in here. Keep getting better,” Robbie spoke in a mock order to him and started to walk again.

  “I will,” Greg said and then he coughed.

  The cough made Robbie stop walking. When did that start? He was so in tune with what was happening to his men. The cough didn’t sound like the typical summer cough people get. It was deep, rumbling and thick, and lasted longer than it should have. Catching himself looking back at Greg, who was red from his coughing spell, Robbie gave Greg one more smile and moved more away.


  He took a seat on the grass, leaning against what used to be a park bench but now was turned on its side, completely grown over and part of the ground itself. He leaned against its firmness and opened the envelope. Reaching into his pocket, Robbie grabbed a cigarette and lit it. Taking in a long first hit, Robbie read Ellen’s letter. ‘Robbie, I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I’m always thinking of you. Please be careful out there and come home to us. I need you. I know right now you’re probably scared. So am I. But know something, no matter what, no matter what you think, you will not be alone. I will not let you be alone out there. I promise you with everything I am. My little mind is already working. Take care of yourself. I will see you soon. I miss you and I love you. Ellen.’

  Robbie lowered the letter then he lowered his head letting her words sink in, believing her when she said he wouldn’t be alone. Even if that was an impossibility, Robbie believed her, because at that moment, it gave him something to believe in. Flicking the ash from his burning cigarette, Robbie brought the letter back up and he read it again.

  ROBBIE’S REPORT

  Date: JULY 7

  Patients Name: GREG HENSON

  Date of first symptoms: July 2nd Time of Onset: 12:15 p.m.

  Body Temp: 98 Headache: No Swollen Glands: No

  Appearance of skin: norm Touch of skin: Norm

  Is patient conscious? Yes Is patient alert? Yes

  Any discoloring of skin? None Describe: Na

  Blistering of skin? No Body cavity bleeding: No

  Convulsions: No Nausea: No Congestion: None

  Vomiting: No Dizziness: No Can patient talk: yes

  NOTES:

  Dean, what were you thinking? I can’t write it all here. See attached.

  ROBBIE’S LETTER

  July 7

  Dean,

  Greg and the other first wave two seem as if they are getting better. Is this the remission you mentioned in the last letter? Yesterday they felt better while seven others fell sick. There are four of us who aren’t sick but I watched everyone and it won’t be long before the other three go. They are showing signs of fatigue. (You might want to write that down.) The other seven were like that the day before they became fevered. I’ve been careful, almost too careful. But I guess that can’t happen in a situation like this. These guys are suffering Dean. Is there anything you can do?