Surrounded By Knight

by A. N. Hennessy

  “I want liquor and pussy... Take me to it.”

  Nothing else was said after that, and I ended up at some bar a few blocks from the condo. I took in the environment that was to temporarily heal me of all the confusing pain pulsating in my jacked up head.

  Taking a seat at the bar, I lit up another cigarette and ordered a Red Bull and vodka. When the bartender placed it in front of me with a knowledgeable look, I figured he either knew who I was and didn’t want to say or he could sense the fucked up madness that was tearing away at my mind. I didn’t give a shit though. I was here for two purposes and two purposes only; to get shit-face plastered and to find me some forget-her-fuck pussy.

  Pulling a long draw from my cig, I took notice of the short haired blonde a few seats down. She caught me looking at her and an instant do me smile seductively flashed at me. Taking a huge gulp of my drink, I waited patiently for her to approach as I engorged myself in alcohol and nicotine.

  Within minutes the blonde was in the seat next to me. I sensed her hard stare that was studying my profile. Looking straight ahead at the row after row of liquor bottles displayed behind the bar, I pretended to not notice her.

  “You look familiar. Have we met?” she asked, searching the side of my face. My glass was pressed to my lips as I inhaled the remainder of the liquid then placed it on the counter in front of me, waving for another.

  With my arms casually positioned on the bar, I nonchalantly titled my head to the chick that might be the needed fuck to get my shit back together. “I get that a lot,” I said. “I’m Trevelin. Who might you be?”

  “Trevelin? Holy shit…you’re...you’re Trevelin Knight!” she announced like I had no fuckin’ clue who I was. Trust me, doll, I know who I am. I just need a hot little number like you to help me remember who I used to be.

  “The one and only.”

  “I didn’t realize it was you because the hat’s covering your do me hair.”

  I laughed at the presumption. Everyone seemed to love my hair, and if it wasn’t the hair exciting them, then it was my eyes. Whatever juiced their pussies, I didn’t care.

  “I’m Kandy.” She held out her hand. I damn near choked shaking it, her name slapping me in the face, reminding me of something Country had once said.

  I ordered Kandy a drink while she sat, heavily flirting, telling me about herself. I held back my gag. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about her roommate or her new haircut. The next thing that I wanted to come out of her mouth was pleasure filled cries brought on by my dick.

  I stubbed out my cigarette in the ashtray the bartender had set in front of me after I kept putting them out on the counter. “Wanna go somewhere quiet?” I tossed back a shot of Vodka, not looking at her.

  “Never thought you would ask. Let me go freshen up in the ladies room.” She reached for her handbag she’d placed on top of the bar. “Don’t replace me with someone else while I’m gone.”

  “You better hurry the fuck up then. I got a cock that’s in need of some attention.” With a frown that mingled with a smile, she headed for the restroom. I should just follow her. It wasn’t like what I needed would take that long. Just a quick fuck for a quick release. That was it.

  “Don’t think you need to be doing this, Trev,” Big Mac voiced strongly beside me, taking a seat once Kandy had vanished. He had been cautiously watching me from the end of the bar, but now Mr. Daddy-do-little wanted to be a buzz kill.

  “Right, well, it’s needed or else I won’t be held responsible for every jackass I punch in the goddamn face.”

  “What’s got you so tight-assed all a sudden? Where’s the new happy Trev-man I was getting used to? You were him like two hours ago. What’s up?”

  Keeping my arms on the bar while gripping my drink, I tilted my head to him. “I’ll just say don’t ever get stuck in the fucking country.”

  “Ah, trouble in paradise.”

  “There never was a paradise to become troubled. You know me, the guys and my guitar are all I need.”

  “Oh. Hell, I thought as much as you and Miss Morgan talked to each other that something was up.”

  “Something was up alright. My goddamn emotions. She played my ass for Ryker.”

  “Ryker?” He sounded shocked. “Well, don’t go shooting your loaded gun at every chick that passes by just ‘cause you got your feelins’ hurt. You end up some whore’s baby daddy then you got some problems. I speak from experience here.” He twisted his dark complexioned face as he tried to dissuade me. “Safest measure is keeping your cock in the chicken coop. Especially when you’ve had too much to drink. That’s how bad decisions are made. Fuck, who am I kiddin’? You and Reed live off bad decisions,” he blew out in exasperation.

  I might have had a major buzz going on, but I was still aware enough to know that what Big Mac said was true. Country played me, and I felt like a fucking fool because of it, but I needed to man up and get the hell over it.

  I ordered another shot just as Kandy returned. “I’m ready, Trevelin,” she whispered provocatively, leaning into my ear. As much as I wanted to dip my dick into something to take my mind off Country, it wasn’t going to make me feel any better in the long run.

  “Sorry, sweets. You took too long.” I swallowed back my shot of liquor, welcoming the slow burn that set fire to my insides no sooner than it landed in my stomach.

  “What? I was gone for like five minutes,” she scoffed, crossing her arms.

  “Five minutes…five fucking years. It’s all the same to me. I move on quickly.”

  “Screw you!” She jerked her body away from me and disappeared into the growing crowd by the bar. There wasn’t even the least bit of immoral wrong doing felt on my behalf for leading her on then slicing her loose.

  She just wanted to fuck me because of who I was anyways. Not that it mattered. Actually, it fucking did matter, and it pissed me off to no end. I lit another cig and gestured for another round of drinks. I wanted to smoke and drown out this looming grief that was clogging my insides.

  ♪♫♪♫♪♫

  After about the...well, fuck, I lost count of how many I'd had. Let’s just say I accomplished my goal and was now plastered. Countless women after Kandy had noticed me and had been trying to get my attention. Wanting me to sign autographs on anything and everything but a damn piece of paper. I'd thought about taking up the offers and signing their junk with more than a pen in hopes to demolish the flourishing ache pounding in my chest. But thanks to Big Mac and his cock-blocking words, he'd done well keeping them at bay.

  Everything was now numb. Everything except what needed to be numbed—my feelings for Country.

  They were eating my ass alive. I wanted to destroy every single cell that held any emotion or feeling towards her whatsoever. It was too much to handle. I couldn't control it and it was driving me fucking insane.

  What was I thinking having her come on tour with us then introducing her to Randy? Why was I thinking I could actually be somebody to her?

  I had half a mind to say fuck it all and send her back to her perfect world in Oklahoma, right where she belonged.

  If it were only that damn simple.

  Country Bliss now had a record deal, and I believed her leaving would throw me over the rail completely. I would miss her; it would kill me even more to not have her around at all. What kind of shit was that?

  I waved at the bartender for another shot. No sooner than the small glass was placed in front of me, I downed it.

  I needed to forget.

  I wanted to forget.

  I wanted to forget how she made me crave her. I wanted to forget the way she smelled like a fruity flower, the way that dimple formed by her chin when she smiled.

  I wanted to forget Every. Fucking. Thing about her.

  I hated that I let myself get to this point, to resort to drowning myself in an ocean of alcohol to find a semblance of relief from these tormenting feelings.

  Just as the bartender set my line of drinks in front of me and I
took one in my hand I heard that voice, the voice that was behind me needing all these bitchin’ shots in the first place.

  "Trevelin Braizer Knight, how many of those have you already had?"

  God help me. I can't get away from her.

  She’s now appearing in my stupor, scolding me. My shot glass was suddenly snatched from my hand right when I was about to throw it back. The sultry voice then sternly told the bartender, "He's had enough!"

  Fuck! She’s actually here?

  I thought I was imagining it. I was hoping I had imagined it anyway.

  She then proceeded to rant off to Big Mac about him letting me drink so much. If I could only see straight, I bet that confrontation would be a sight to behold. Country's tiny little body standing big and mighty to Big Mac's 364lb frame, chewing him out for letting me consume one too many alcoholic beverages. That had to be high on the sexy things she does list. A mental list I now despised making.

  Everything else suddenly became unimportant as I kept hearing my full name being said, over and over. I hadn't heard it in such a long time the memory was practically nonexistent. Hell, I almost forgot I even had a middle name.

  "What the fuck do you want and how do you know my whole name?" I asked drunkenly, pleading with my body to straighten up so I could look at her without falling to the floor.

  I removed my black hat in order to see her better. I had half a mind to tell her she had no business speaking my name at all and to fuckin' leave so I could continue to drown my anguish and everything else Country. Mainly the one where her lips were suck-faced to shit-hole Ryker, but it was kinda hard to forget when she was standing right the hell beside me. A vision of complete perfection.

  Through my slightly blurred vision I witnessed her beautiful face turn red. "I'm here because I was worried and...I Googled you," she admitted shyly with a small shrug.

  So the country angel has done her homework? I pondered if that should sickeningly turn me on or scare the living shit out of me. Either way, I couldn't help the neurotic feeling of knowing she thought about me and thought about me enough to research me.

  I wonder how often she Googles Ryker?

  "I'm flattered, Country. Find out anything that makes you want to fuck my brains out some more?" I shouldn't have said it. It was a dick thing to say. But I was in pain and only speaking how I felt with the alcohol fueling my anger.

  "I’m going to pretend that you didn't just say that. You’re drunk and you don't know what you're saying."

  I half laughed, noting Big Mac getting out of his seat and walking to the end of the bar, shaking his head. Obviously he didn’t want to hear our exchanges.

  "I'm not that drunk,” I sneered, crooking my lips into what felt like an evil smile. “I know exactly what I'm saying. Just like right now...I'm saying I want you to take me back to that condo and fuck me until I can't think straight. Oh, wait... You can't do that. You know why?” I didn’t give her time to say shit. “Because I already can't think straight. Haven't been able to since I fuckin' met you!” I shouted, drawing the attention of a few people near us. I didn’t give a shit, though she seemed to, glancing from side to side looking helplessly embarrassed. Her red cheeks were cute and that only further pissed me off more.

  “Weird thing is…I don't know why. You’ve probably got your fill of dick for today anyway. Maybe you should just go on back to Oklahoma where you belong. God knows if you don't I'm going to lose my goddamn shit." I grabbed at my hair like a crazy person and that wasn’t far from the truth. I felt insane. "You’re. Fucking. Making. Me. Crazy!" I regretted the words no sooner than they left my mouth.

  Goddamnit. Why did I drink so much? Because she crushed me by being with ass-bag Ryker, that’s why.

  Her expression changed from the cute, shy, embarrassed face, to a fallen one that made me want to kick my own ass for being such a piece of shit bastard to her. She wasn’t mine, so I had no right feeling this intense rage for her wanting some other dude. But knowing she wasn’t mine and never would be had me losing it on a whole new massive scale.

  Staying with her while the Knight Slayer was being repaired was the worst thing we could have ever done. Look where it landed me. Hopeless for someone that would never want me back. I guess telling her she should go back home wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.

  Only because it's my drunkenness speaking.

  The thing was I didn't honestly mean it, and I prayed she knew that. As bad as I hated the agony that I was staked with at knowing I’d never be good enough for her and that I’d never have her the way I dreamed of, rather than relief, it would only serve to rip my soul further to have her be completely gone. Having a small part of her was better than not having her at all. At the same time, I didn't know if I could handle seeing another man’s hands on her. I wanted to ensure I broke Ryker’s face when I’d seen them, but instead I gave him one good lick and took my vengeance out on the seat of the SUV.

  My lips had touched hers. My hands have been the ones that worked and pleasured her body. My dick had been inside her, the only dick that had ever been granted access. Although that was more than likely untrue now. Still, I was the guy she thought was worthy enough to be her first. Above all, I'm fucking confused.

  Pinning my eyes on her with a scowl that was likely to become a permanent expression, I added, "You make my sonuvabitchin' head hurt."

  She must be in shock to my emotional tantrum because she hadn’t said a word, only stared at me blankly with watery eyes. Not a reaction I thought I’d receive considering her candid personality. I figured I would get a slap in the face for the comment, but all I got was a dropped jaw. I was prepared for a fight. Ready for the argument. Starving for the burn and sting from her palm to connect with my face. But all I got in return was...nothing.

  Finally, after long seconds passed, she said sadly, "Glad I now know how you really feel. Sorry I cared enough to come make sure you were okay, asshole!" She blinked, brushing at her emotion filled eyes. With that said she turned quickly in her boot covered feet and retreated from the bar.

  I was left alone. Hurting to the point where I may as well crawl into a ball and die. Pain was something that I had no problem coping with. But this pain...it was different—it was unbearable.

  I was a sorry fuck for hurting her feelings. I just wanted her to feel some kind of emotional pain that I felt. The kind of pain I had fought like hell from ever feeling. There was nothing I could have said though to cause her to experience the hurt I was slowly dying from, yet I couldn’t help but try.

  I hated myself for bringing tears to her pure eyes. I hated myself more, because I wanted to run out that door after her and tell her how I much I cared about her. How happy I was when I was with her. How alive she managed to make me feel. And all while I kissed her tears away.

  But I didn’t.

  Instead I grabbed my last cigarette and lit it up. She’d only been gone for five fucking seconds and the loneliness had already started to devour me whole.

  Cell by cell.

  Vein after vein.

  Nothing my bitch ass wasn’t already acquainted with.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Izzy

  The car ride back to the condo was silent. Double-D never said a word. It was probably for the best since I didn't know if I was capable of retaining a normal conversation with him or not. I was liable to burst into tears. I wished I’d never gone to find Trevelin in the first place, and if I'd known he was going to act like a heartless bastard then I would have left his drunken ass alone.

  I just hated the look on his face when he saw Ryker kissing me before he bloodied his face. The look had been afflicted. I didn’t understand why he looked so torn, but my heart started doing so many funny things that I thought the fast rhythm was going to kill me. I literally thought it was going to escape from my chest cavity and chase him across the parking lot and latch onto his leg.

  I’d never seen him look at me like that before, and I wanted to make sure he
was okay, so after insuring Ryker was alright and that he wasn’t going to bleed to death through his nose, I’d run to the other boulder whose job it was to chauffer and protect the Knight Raiders, and had him contact Big Mac to find out where they were so he could take me to him.

  Double-D parked the vehicle outside the tall condominium and I just continued to sit in the back, not wanting to be around anyone.

  “You okay, girl?” he asked, turning to look at me.

  “Yeah.” I nodded, not sure if I sounded believable or not. “I’m fine. Just need to clear my head. I’ll be in shortly,” I reassured him.

  Unaware of how long I sat there after he departed from the SUV, I rehashed everything that Trevelin had said, deciphering what hurt the most – him thinking I had slept with Ryker or him saying I should go back home. They both hurt like hell. What seemed to ache the most was that what he said only solidified that I meant nothing to him.

  I noticed the blacked out SUV Big Mac used to drive Trevelin to the bar pull into the parking space beside me. Trevelin threw his door open and exited quickly with a drunken stumble, not even paying a glance in my direction. Not that he knew I was in the vehicle. I guess I just wanted to see his face.

  I was left in the dark as to what I had done to make him so distraught toward me other than the Ryker ordeal. Did seeing Ryker kiss me upset him that much? Whether it did or not I didn’t want him to think I had any part in that kiss, or that Ryker meant something to me like all the rumors suggest.

  Trevelin had become a significantly important person in my life and the new shut off demeanor I just experienced was bothersome. The overwhelming feelings that were residing in every teeny nook of my body was begging for me to tell him how I actually felt, and I had planned on doing just that, but now...now I wasn’t so sure.

  I'd already tried once and it went through deaf ears. If I were to say it again it might ruin the strange relationship we’d seemed to develop, if it wasn’t already.