Deepest 1 2nd Ed ebook EPUB

by Thomas, C. M

  “Has he contacted you since, other than the text you just showed me?” Zane asked, breaking the silence. He still held me close to his chest, giving me the comfort I so desperately needed. He gave me the safety I needed.

  “Yes. Letters were coming to my home, that’s why I left. Then he started sending emails and texts to me.” I looked up at him. “I’m scared. What if he finds me?” That was my deepest fear. That he found me, and this time I wouldn’t get away from him before he raped me. What would happen then? I would never be Anna again. That I knew. I would be looking over my shoulder all the time. More than since the attack.

  I just wanted him to forget about me. What made me so special that he wanted me? I was no one, only Anna. But I didn’t think “D” cared who I was; he had his eyes set on me. And I couldn’t change that.

  “Shhh, baby. I’m sorry this happened to you. But know that I will keep you safe, okay? I will tell Dax and Kylie this, and then Dax will do his work and protect you.” Zane turned me around in his lap, so I was now straddling him. Then he kissed me. Deep and soft, his tongue played with mine. I needed this, needed to feel him. Feel safe.

  “Thank you,” I whispered into his kiss.

  “No, thank you for trusting me, Anna. That means a lot.” He smiled and rested his forehead on mine. I smiled back at him.

  “I’m tired.” My body felt like it had been in overdrive for months and now finally I could relax. Zane lifted me off his lap and moved around on the bed, so he was now spooning me.

  “Sleep. I will be here if you need me,” he said, and kissed me just behind my ear. Moments later, I fell asleep. Safe, for now.

  Chapter 16:

  Zane

  She was almost raped. Raped. I kept going through what Anna had told me tonight. She was sleeping peacefully in my arms right now. I just held her. I couldn’t sleep, knowing that some psycho was out there looking for her. I had this feeling of anger and concern all mixed together. On the one hand, I was angry that this happened to her. That some people thought that it was okay to do that to another human being. On the other hand, I was concerned for Anna. I didn’t know how to help her and if she would ever move past this.

  I knew that it was not something you just moved on from, and we knew he was still looking for her. So right now, she couldn’t move past it. She was living in some nightmare, and I wanted to help her work through this. I didn’t want to run away scared because she was going through this. Some people might run from it, and think that she was not worth it. And hell, I would have thought so if I didn’t know her. I would have thought that this was unnecessary drama and something for the police to handle. It was, but I wanted to be by her side in this process. If she wanted the police involved, so be it. I would still be here, helping her any way I could.

  And right now, the best way to help her was to make sure she was safe. I needed to tell Dax about this. I needed to know that she was safe with us, and he was the one who could reassure me that she was.

  I grabbed my phone, trying not to wake her. I moved out of the bed, kissing her on the cheek before I walked into the living room, closing the door to the bedroom. I sent a text to Dax.

  Me: You need to come to my room, bring Kylie and Marco. Anna told me.

  I waited. I knew Dax would understand what I just wrote to him. About five minutes later, the door to my room opened, and Dax walked in with Kylie and Marco right behind him.

  “Where is she?” Kylie looked around for Anna. Her eyes were all sleepy.

  “She’s sleeping, so keep your voices down.” Kylie nodded and moved over to the couch with Marco. Dax looked at me, worried. And he had every right to be. He sat down on one of the chairs, and I took the other. For a moment, I just sat there. I tried to get a hold of all the emotions there were revolving around in my body. My hands were all sweaty. I thought about what Anna must have felt as she told me. If I felt all these emotions when I was about to tell these three people in front of me, how did she, who experienced the events herself, felt? I, of course, knew she was shaking, and her voice cracked up from time to time. But the emotions that must have gone through her body while she told me were probably what made her sleep so fast afterward.

  “Speak, Zane,” Dax ordered with a hard voice, breaking my thoughts. I looked over at him, knowing that I couldn’t look at Kylie while I was telling this.

  “I promised Anna to tell you guys. She doesn’t want to tell the story again. So please respect that.” I looked over at Kylie. She looked angry at first, but then she looked concerned. She knew Anna and knew that it had to be horrible for Anna not to want to talk about it.

  I took a deep breath before I recounted Anna’s story.

  “About one month before Anna joined us on tour, she was almost raped.” Kylie gasped, but I had to continue. “She was walking home from a club, and some guy gripped her and dragged her into an alley. He was holding her, touching and biting her. I won’t tell what else, there is no reason to. She got away from him before he could rape her. But I have a feeling that he knows her, and maybe she knows him.” I looked over at Dax. I couldn’t look at Kylie, but I could hear her crying.

  “What makes you say that?” Dax asked.

  “Because he said, ‘you’re mine now, finally’ to her. And since that night he has been sending letters to her. That was why she left Colorado Springs. But now he sends her emails and texts… The reason she told me tonight is that she got a new text from him after she got here tonight. I found her in my bed crying when I came back from the venue.”

  My body was shaking. I felt sick, and just in time, I ran to the bathroom. I emptied my stomach contents in the toilet before walking out to them again. Anna was still sleeping on my bed when I walked out of the bedroom.

  “You okay?” Marco asked when I came back out to them.

  “Yeah, this is just too much.” I looked over at Kylie; she was still crying against Marco’s chest. She looked up at me.

  “Is she okay? I know she’s not okay, but still, is she okay with this? Us knowing?” She sniffed. Her eyes were red, and she looked so concerned. And with good reason—this was her sister. To know that she had gone through this alone must be horrible. I didn’t know what I would do if it were Gia or Amy. Or I did—I would do the same that I did to Anna. Be there for them, help them in any way possible, and just let them know that I was only a phone call away.

  “Yes, she asked me to tell you. So yes, she’s okay under the circumstances.” I gave her a small smile.

  “I need Anna’s phone and her computer. To see what we’re dealing with. And then Anna can’t be alone. She can stay with you or with Kylie and Marco. But she can’t stay alone. Not until we know who this guy is,” Dax said. I walked back into the bedroom to get Anna’s phone.

  “Her computer is in her room.” I handed over her phone to Dax. “And she’s staying with me. Unless she doesn’t want to. But for now, she stays here with me.” I looked over at Kylie. She smiled at me.

  “I will pack her things. Do you have a keycard to her room?” She looked at me.

  “No, but Dax does.” Dax got up and walked over to the door.

  “I will go get the keycard. Meet you outside her room in a minute.” He left the room. Kylie got up from the couch and walked over to me. She hugged me.

  “Please help her through this, Zane. I don’t understand why she hasn’t told anyone before. But I’m glad she has you. And please tell her that I’m here for her. No matter what time,” she said, and let go of me.

  “I will. I think she was scared that no one would believe her. But she will come to you at some point, just give her time. I need one of you to tell Caleb, Cole, and Liam about this.” I looked at Marco, knowing he probably would.

  “Sure, I will tell them in the morning,” Marco said. They walked out of the room, and I sat back down on the chair. The events of this evening and night would never leave me. I f
elt sad, angry, and powerless. I didn’t know what to do to help Anna, but I would help her. Dax would keep her safe, and I would do everything to help her forget about this sick bastard. I sat on the chair thinking and silently crying for Anna until I heard a small knock on the door.

  When I opened it, Dax stood outside with Anna’s suitcase.

  “You okay?” He walked inside and put Anna’s suitcase by the door before putting his hand on my shoulder.

  “Yes, I just don’t know what to do for her. All I want is for her to be safe.” I felt helpless, another feeling I was not used to. This whole situation was fucked up. I was so happy she was here and that I’d met her. Hopefully I would be a part of her life for a long time. But the reason why she was here, I didn’t know what to do with that.

  “I know. I will get her a new number. Hopefully, he won’t get his fingers on that. Then all we can do is wait for him to make his next move. But don’t worry, my guys will be ready. Just tell her that she can’t go anywhere alone. If you’re not with her, one of my guys has to be.”

  “I know. I will try to get some sleep. Marco said he would tell the guys in the morning.”

  “By the way, we might need to add a couple more guys to the security team. Talk to the band about it, okay?”

  “If they won’t pay for that, I will. Either way, just get the guys you need. I don’t care about the cost.” Knowing my brothers, they would say the same thing. But if Tristan started talking shit about us needing more security, then he could just go to hell. It was us who paid them anyway, so he and his stupid budget didn’t get a say in this matter.

  Dax nodded before leaving. I closed the door. Feeling tired, I walked into the bedroom and over to the bed. After taking off my jeans and shirt, I slipped under the covers towards Anna, pulling her close to me. She shivered just a little before she turned in my arms and rested her head on my bare chest.

  Chapter 17:

  Anna

  I heard something buzzing. What the hell was that? I opened my eyes in order to remember where I was. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Zane sleeping. He was holding me close to his chest. The buzzing started again. It must be his phone. I turned around in his arms, trying not to wake him. But the moment I moved, he stirred and opened his eyes.

  “Hi, beautiful.” He smiled and kissed me on the lips.

  “Good morning. I think someone is trying to get in contact with you.” At that moment, his phone started buzzing again. He turned over on his back and gripped his phone from the nightstand.

  “What?” he snapped. I curled into his chest, and he held his arm around my waist. “We will be eating in the room this morning. I know Liam will understand, okay?” Shit, it’s Liam’s birthday. I tried to say something, but Zane just shook his head. “I will talk to you later.” With that, he put the phone back on the nightstand.

  “You can’t skip your brother’s birthday; we have to go down and eat breakfast with them.” I tried to get up, but he pulled me back on top of him.

  “He will understand, baby. Marco is telling them about you over breakfast. Caleb will also understand when he hears why we are eating up here this morning.”

  “But—” He stopped me with a kiss before I had a chance to finish that sentence. He broke the kiss and turned us around, so we were on our sides looking at each other.

  “You okay this morning?” I could see he was worried. His eyes were full of empathy and love. Wait, love? No, that couldn’t be. I must still be tired.

  “Yes, I feel relieved.” I kissed him. “I know I should have told you before. But I couldn’t. I just hoped he would forget about me.”

  “I know, baby. I’m just happy that you trusted me enough to tell me.”

  “I really do. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I do trust you. More than you know.” He smiled and pulled me closer. I could feel him harden against me. But I couldn’t do that, not right now. I just tried to ignore it, even though it was not easy to ignore. “Is Kylie mad at me?” I was scared that she would be mad that I didn’t confide in her.

  “No, baby. She’s worried about you. And told me to take care of you and that you could talk to her anytime.” I felt relieved. “So that you know, all your things are in my room now. You can’t stay alone. If you feel more comfortable staying with Kylie and Marco, then we move you to their room.”

  “I want to stay with you unless you don’t want me to. I know we are not boyfriend and girlfriend.” I would like to be, though.

  “I want you here. And if you want me, I want to be your boyfriend.” Wait, what? I looked at him. He was smiling. Smiling as I’d never seen him before.

  “I would really like that.” With that, he kissed me. Slowly, soft and with so much passion, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like my skin was burning, and I just wanted more of him. Just wanted to stay here in bed with him all day.

  He moved his hand down over my stomach, and down to the hem of the shirt I was wearing. His shirt. His hand moved under the shirt, and up to my breast. I felt my nipples stiffen. I moaned and pulled my head back. This felt amazing. His touch was soft. He started kissing me down my neck, and down to the top of my breast. He looked up at me like he was asking permission to go farther. I gave him a small nod, and before I knew it, he pulled the shirt over my head.

  “Wow, baby. You look amazing.” I closed my eyes. I’d never liked being naked in front of the men I dated. “Don’t go shy on me now. You have a beautiful body.” He pulled me close and caught my lips with his. I forgot everything else. He rolled me over on my back, with him on top of me, still not breaking the kiss. With one hand, he held himself up over me so I didn’t have to carry his weight. His other hand was back on my breast. He was playing with my nipples between his fingers. The feeling of lust and desire ran through my body. I could feel I was getting soaked. No doubt that if he took off my thong, it would be dripping with my arousal.

  I let my hand wander down over his chest. Feeling his body like this was fantastic. He was pure muscle; I didn’t think there was one gram of fat anywhere on him. He broke our kiss and started kissing me down my neck, down to my chest. It felt incredible until he put his mouth on my breast.

  The moment his mouth connected with my breast, especially my nipple, my body tensed. I could feel my breathing becoming uneven, and not in a right way. Then I felt the tears coming down my cheeks. Zane looked up at me and stopped immediately.

  “Are you okay?” He slid down beside me and held me tight to him.

  “I’m sorry, I thought I could do this. But it’s too much.” I started crying.

  “Shhh, baby, it’s okay. We don’t have to do this now. I just got carried away in the moment.” He pulled me over to him, and I rested my head on his chest.

  “I understand if you don’t want to do this with me. I know I’m broken and not like the girls you are used to being with.” I just wanted to hide. From everything. When would this nightmare be over?

  “Hey, look at me.” He put his hand under my chin so I looked at him. “I don’t care about that, baby. I want you, and you’re not broken. You went through something no woman should go through. And you did it alone.” He kissed my nose. He sat up on the bed, then pulled me up in his lap and cradled me against his chest.

  “But I’m not sure when I can have sex with you. And I know that means a lot to you.” All my uncertainty about us came to the surface now. Would he be able to be faithful? Would he want me even though I was broken? Did he like me as much as I liked him?

  “You’re right, it means a lot. But baby, not if it’s not with you. I would rather wait six months to have sex with you than have sex with some stranger and then lose you because of it.” I looked at him, not really sure I believed him. But the look in his eyes was so clear. It was full of passion and love. There was that word again, love.

  “I don’t want to lose you, Zane. This, us, I’ve never felt lik
e this before.”

  “Me neither. I’ve never been in a relationship, and that scares me. I don’t want to hurt you. But at the same time, I can’t stop wanting to be near you.” He took a deep breath before he continued, “I’m afraid to disappoint you. You’re not like any other woman I’ve ever met. Before you, I didn’t want a forever. I dream about that now. I know it’s soon, but I want to be with you, no matter what. So please don’t give up on me, because I will fuck up sometimes.” I reached up behind his neck and pulled him down to me to kiss him.

  “I will never give up on you, Zane. We will do this together. It’s not like I’m the big relationship expert. But we will figure it out together. Even though we might be away from each other when you guys are on tour.”

  “We have to talk about that, you know. Kylie might be going back to school after the summer break, so we’ll need a new PA.” He smiled at me, and before I could say anything, he put a finger to my lips. “Don’t say you can’t do it. We all know you can. Will you think about it? I can’t be away from you that long every time we go on tour. If you get a job back in the city.” This conversation just became very serious.

  “I will think about it. But enough about the future. Can we please just enjoy this time before summer break?”

  “Sure. You want some breakfast?”

  “I’d like that. I think I’d like a shower first, though.”

  “Then you go take a shower. I will order some breakfast for us.”

  I got up from his lap, suddenly fully aware that all I was wearing right now was a thong. As if he could feel my shyness, Zane grinned at me. “Please don’t hide your body. You are so beautiful. And even though I might have to take a very cold shower after this, I like the view. No, I love the view.” I smiled at him before getting into the bathroom. I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and emotions. The conversation we just had was very real and brought up so many feelings and dreams about the possibility that we could have a future together. Not just a short relationship.