Dragon Envy

by Kelly Armenta

  “I imagine,” she told me with a serious look, “given time and some training you could travel the ninnach when or wherever you wanted. You just seem to bring your own pot of gold along with you. At the moment though, there are so many unanswered questions and with you getting closer to fecundity…well it’s probably best if you tried not to urgently wish yourself someplace else. No telling if it will have adverse effects once you start ovulating.”

  And we were back to that. I though sourly. Realizing I might have the ability to traverse the universe but didn’t dare because I might begin preparing to make babies soon. It just put a damper on the whole amazing revelation.

  “Ah, there it is the impatience of youth.” Immy told me, tongue in cheek. She then wagged her finger at me and told me pertly, “Why do you think we put mystical restraints on you as a toddler? The first time you ripped open a gate the entire Keeper Council nearly rioted. I can assure you it wasn’t the ‘men in white coats’ you needed to worry about back then. If not for Academia, you might have found yourself being raised by my sister council members. In retrospect I believe they made the right decision.”

  I swallowed and nodded back at her. Mmm maybe I should consider cutting Mom some slack.

  “Probably not a bad idea.” Immy told me then chuckled. “At least you only had one. Imagine having thousands?” Then she laughed at my horrified expression.

  I chewed my lip and thought about everything she’d told me. At the moment I only had one question, “Immy,” I asked and she tilted her head in anticipation. “What did you tell Cursed when he visited you?”

  “Stop cutting your hair.” She replied, “Advice the Oracle recommended when I consulted her.”

  Unbelievable I thought, threw up my hands and flopped back on the couch cushions. A pose which lasted less than a second since I immediately knifed back up again with a muffled ‘oof’ when my circlet stabbed me in the temple.

  “So as I was about to say before you distracted me.” Immy laughing chastised me, “Out there are millions of worlds with billions of alien life forms. And every so often one of those worlds or planets begins to die. Sometimes a planet becomes a wasteland due to natural catastrophe.” She took a breath and glanced at me. “But more importantly, sometimes a miracle happens and a planet that couldn’t sustain life for hundreds or thousands of years begins to heal itself. Much like Earth did after the meteor killed off all the dinosaurs.”

  “So you’re telling me definitely, that it wasn’t a flood that killed the dinosaurs?” I couldn’t help asking.

  Immy flashed a grin then nodded. “No polar cap meltdown, disease, or forty days and nights of rain. It was a rather simple chunk of meteor that struck the Earth at high speed. The impact caused a dust storm that blocked out the sun and killed everything.”

  “Good to know.” I added thinking how cool it was to actually have the fact confirmed. Not that it was going to do me any good. But hey, sometimes it’s just nice to know. You never could tell when an interesting piece of trivia might come in handy. “Okay so there’s a world or planet out there somewhere that’s coming alive again? How exactly does that translate into something I can help you with?” I asked, not exactly following the bouncing ball here.

  “Yes, now stop interrupting or I’m never going to get through this and we have a deadline.”

  Uh oh I thought and reached for a bunch of grapes to stuff in my mouth.

  Immy watched me closely, probably expecting another wise crack which wasn’t forthcoming. She finally nodded then continued, “I’ve found some volunteers willing to relocate, but I need your assistance getting some of the various species through a gate from their world to the new one.”

  “You want me to do what?” I asked, lowering the handful of grapes again. What kind of species were we talking about here? And how exactly am I supposed to help get them through a gate, didn’t she just tell me I should avoid that? Assuming she meant rip a hole in the Everlasting type of gate. Because I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be the standard kind. You know, three rails, metal, swings on pins, and closes after the farm animals have gone through it kind.

  “Well, I’ve been working on this for some time.” She told me, leaning forward and looking earnest. “The planet has plenty of floras but no fauna, not native anyway.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I’ve been...doing a little experimenting with some test subjects to, you know…make sure they could withstand the atmosphere and whatnot. All strictly humane, of course.” She continued when I lifted an eyebrow and cocked my head at her. “For sure I was very careful in my selections.”

  I nodded skeptically but managed to hold my tongue. But then I wasn’t sure what to say, it’s not every day you get to discuss world repopulation with a Keeper of History. Of all the recent revelations in my life, I can honestly say this one I was not expecting. The whole Gods are real, non-Queens, soul discussion and now world re-population of other planets, just sort of boggled the mind.

  Immy chewed at her lower lip for a second, and then continued on, “So I’ve managed to move some smaller species in. You know various types of birds and fish. They all seem to be acclimated. So now it is time for some larger mammals to be brought in. I’ve identified multiple species of omnivores, no carnivores at this time. And we won’t be migrating anything dangerous. Well nothing that would eat us anyway.” She corrected with a slightly lopsided grin. “You aren’t ovulating yet and you won’t be creating any gates yourself so you won’t need to worry about that. I was just thinking that with all that’s been going on out there,” and she waived her hand toward the dreaded back wall, chalk full of little empty boxes, sitting there all judgy and staring back at me expectantly, “that you might like to take a short break and have a little girls only time?”

  Girls only time? Well that sounded….intriguing actually. Granted it was a bit surreal, given the whole other worldly thing. But it was definitely interesting. I tried to think when, if ever, I’d had a girls outing. Aside that is, from being drug around in the shadow of Mom with Mi for most of my life. Not exactly a fun time had by all. Oh, and my one and only trip to a dance club, which sort of got me here to start with.

  “Green hair?” Immy offered, and then watched as the memory came back to me.

  Yeah okay, total blast from the past. I hadn’t thought about that memory in forever, my one and only Spa Day. Which technically, I guess you could consider a girls outing….I should have just stuck with the cut and never let the beautician talk me into dying my hair blonde. Who knew shimmer and paraphenylenediamine didn’t go well together? Or maybe it was just magic and chemicals? Whichever, it was a disaster especially for someone that was just trying to blend in, having green hair was not helpful. As I recall, Mi tattled to my Mother, who was so not amused. Of course my fellow Hunters-in-training thought my cesspool colored hair an improvement over my normal muddy brown mane. Truthfully it was hard to disagree with them. Dying it again, wasn’t an option. And I couldn’t just shimmer it back all at once without outing myself. Not sure what else to do, I’d simply chopped it all off. Then I’d spent the next few months getting teased by my fellow students who thought I looked like a pixy. In retrospect, it hadn’t been a bad tradeoff. My new do was only three inches long, and was so much easier to deal with. I never had to worry about it getting in my eyes and disturbing my sight alignment nor blinding me at the worst possible second. It also made it extremely difficult to grab onto during sparring. That memory made me wonder how my fellow classmates had made out. Were any of them still out there fighting the good fight? Still keeping the borders safe from gangs and petty criminal?

  “Some.” Immy told me solemnly.

  Hmmm probably best not to dwell on that. Being a Hunter didn’t usually come with a retirement package even if you weren’t entirely mortal.

  “No it does not.” She agreed.

  Hmm, so about this girl’s only opportunity….sounded like, dare I say it…fun. Provided I didn’t come back wi
th green hair or anything. But I couldn’t help thinking about that I’d already been here longer than I intended. At some point I was going to have to sit on the throne, whatever that entailed. And there was that little problem of my men hanging out in the hall believing they were looking at the not-me golem, still all covered in stinky ladybugs. And oh yeah, that other problem with me not being able to go very long without having sex multiple times… So yeah, there was that.

  “Oh, no worries.” Immy assured me. “We’ve got plenty of time and can make more if needed, trust me. Of course we should find you something different to wear. We can’t have you chasing Duelshokers and Capriucorjs around wearing those heels, can we? Also, I’m sure you’re going to want to wear your dress again when we return. In case you want to keep this little adventure a secret. Besides it’s quite lovely. And the color…it’s like a sunset on Bichyzab.”

  “Is that a good thing?” I asked giving Immy a curious look.

  “Well sunset is spectacular there, what with them having three suns and a heavier atmosphere. More atmosphere means more scattering. And more scattering means more vibrant colors.” She told me crisply. “I should think the Bichy race is quite happy with it. After all, their primary trade is tourism.”

  Well I thought, it would be rather tragic to chase Duelshokers around in high heels. Given I could barely make it down the hall in them without the very real threat of twisting an ankle. I was pretty sure that wouldn’t be a good plan. And obviously Duelshokers and Capriucorjs didn’t go in for formal attire. Who knew? Wait..oh oh oh…happy thought! Maybe I’d get some pants and boots like Immy’s after all, sans the tail hole? Wouldn’t that be fantastic? Yeah I thought, rubbing my metaphysical hands together. Bring on the Duelshokers! “Okay I just have to ask, what in the heck is a Duelshoker?”

  Immy chuckled and grinned. “Think of a long legged, split hoofed, Oryx Antelop built like a Cheetah. Duelshokers are adorable. You are going to love them.” She assured me. “They have delicate slender floppy ears and big soulful eyes. The males have three to four foot long ridged horns which are straight. Their bodies are white with dark brown stripes on their back and legs. The females are dark brown across their back and legs, with cream colored fur on their chest and belly. They have long narrow faces and whip like tales with a round puff of creamy white hair just at the end. They stand about five feet tall at the shoulder; eat grass and run very fast when spooked.”

  “And a Capriucorjs?” I asked, because you know inquiring minds and all that.

  Immy considered my question then responded with, “A little more unique. Imagine if you started with a beautiful white Shire draft horse and gave it the horns of a Scottish Red Deer. Then add a third horn in the middle of its forehead. Now instead of white, toss in a pink flowing mane, tail and heavy fetlocks and give it a long articulating tale and some protective iridescent scales shaped like those of a Quora, but only over just its back and rump. And viola’, you’ve got a Capriucorjs. Also a grass eater, though they don’t run nearly as fast as the Duelshokers.”

  “So basically a pink and white Fairy Unicorn with scales and antlers, which runs slow?” I muttered which caused Immy to chuckle again. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

  “Well, the herd we’ll be relocating isn’t technically from any of the known Fairy worlds. But their origins are a bit mysterious. So there is a possibility they started out on one of the many Fairy planes.” She agreed. “I should probably warn you, it’s not even the most fantastic of creatures you’ll be seeing.” She shrugged a shoulder and grinned, “When the Keeper Council agreed to my request they didn’t dictate how I must go about it. It’s a world being repopulated, from all the creatures in existence. No one told me I couldn’t select those I found most interesting. And perhaps this world isn’t the only thing getting a second chance.” She added, giving me a look that seemed to hold some hidden meaning which I had no idea how to decipher.

  Thinking about it for a moment I finally asked, “So this is a rescue mission? Save the planet, save some endangered species sort of affair?” That seemed a worthy cause. Plus it seemed I owed Immy for not making me Knight’s boy toy. It was something to take my mind off my current situation and hey, actually help the universe by saving some lifeforms. What’s not to love about this idea?

  “Precisely!” She agreed nodding and nearly bouncing on the couch in her eagerness. “Now let’s get you changed into something that isn’t going to be ruined by getting Wooly Mammoth hair all over it.” She dead panned, and then laughed at the incredulous look on my face. “I just need to give my workers some instructions and grab a few things. Feel free to use this room to change in. You should be able to reach your Gnome from here. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, it probably would be best if you didn’t touch anything.” And delivering that coup de grace she arose from the couch and headed out the door, her beautiful wings floating along behind her.

  Got it, no touchy touchy. I glanced around the room while I ate the rest of the grapes, and then selected more cheese and crackers to snack on. After all, it sounded like I might be engaging in some physical activity shortly and Goddess knows I did not need to be passing out from hunger while chasing Zumaaumas across the galaxy! Yeah I totally made that up…or did I?

  Smiling to myself I called for Areth. She arrived in a swirl of black mist and materialized about 3 feet off the floor in a seated position wearing her customary black one-piece, sans shoes. Her black eyes widened and her entire body floated in a three hundred and sixty degree turn as she checked out the room.

  “My Lady how might I assist you?” She asked in a startled voice. Guess maybe she wasn’t expecting to find me here of all places. Yep that pretty much made two of us.

  I spent a moment explaining what I thought I might need, and in her typical efficient manner she provided me with an outfit fit for an incognito Queen of Dragons cum weird species wrangler. She wished me luck then disappeared. Oh, and I might have mentioned we should keep this little adventure to ourselves. Mostly I felt guilty about leaving the guys in limbo out in the hallway, but also because of Immy’s earlier comment. Unfortunately for my men, my lets-save-a-planet side fiercely overran my guilty side. They would just have to deal with stinky ladybug-covered-not-me a wee bit longer.

  If this adventure turned out half as much fun as Immy’s excitement seemed to indicate, maybe I’d consider getting a look alike Golem of my own. Nah, probably not. Although future visits to the Sidhe could be worth the whole bachelor Elf tsunami episode I’d waded through, just for more girls only time. Assuming my guys didn’t find out and strangle me for abandoning them while I played get along little doggie on other planets. I had a bad thought, and realized I should probably be careful I didn’t annoy Immy. I’d hate to have her strand me out there somewhere. Given I hadn’t yet had that ‘practice or training’ she’d mentioned.

  Wow, I’d be visiting other planets! How awesome was that? Oh yeah, I’d really have to think about telling my men about this. It seemed the more men I gathered, the less freedom I had. And I was going to have to figure a way around that soon. This past year I’d had a taste of not living under someone else’s thumb. I wasn’t about to give that up, no matter what they thought. I wasn’t a three year old anymore, ripping time continuum holes in the universe. Sheesh.

  While I waited, I admired Areth’s skill via my new get up. The over the knee, thick leather, flat heeled boots fit perfectly. I couldn’t help sighing with pleasure when I walked around the couch a few times to get the feel of them. What a relief to get out of those heels! While the original boots had been conjured in my signature color, I’d asked to have them changed to a sable brown instead. The leather hugged my legs like a second skin and the multiple buckles said bad ass, with a just a touch of cute. My pants were black, fitted and thick enough to deter insect or bramble punctures, while still being comfortable tucked down in my boots. My shirt was a pale gold pullover V-neck with long full sleeves. The material was soft as butter aga
inst my skin. An important requirement, because it was covered by a full on laced up corset that matched the boots in color and texture. Just in case one of those omnivores decided to go over to the dark side and to take a piece out of me. No need for a bra with this thing, it provided coverage and amazingly comfortable support across both my front and back. Once I got the laces all cinched in and buckled, I had to wonder if I’d just have to cut my way back out. It was for sure I’d never get it off in a hurry. Where was a zipper when you needed it? Apparently Areth had gone old school.

  Matching leather bracers encircled both of my forearms, down over my wrists, and the backs of my hands. I thought my bracelet might rearrange itself above the leather like it had with my gloves during the Mayor’s party. However it stayed tucked underneath. Hopefully that wouldn’t cause a problem should I actually need the bracer. The thought of pokey dragon charms embedded in my wrist wasn’t appealing.

  While I’d been tempted to ask for a cowboy hat, I’d opted to leave my hair down. I suspect Areth did not think the outfit befitted my station, because I also ended up with a fairly elaborate gold and jewel encrusted headpiece. And there was no chance of me losing it because try as I might, I couldn’t get the dratted thing off. It was firmly stuck on me. I just had to trust it would release me when it was good and ready. Despite the large trillion cut center stone which sat smack dab in the middle of my forehead just above where the circlet dipped to a V, the piece was surprisingly lightweight.

  Areth had informed me the stones were diamonds, chocolate diamonds to be precise. Who knew diamonds came in flavors? Apparently my Dragon-horde-sparkly-things education was indeed sadly lacking. In any case, it did manage to hold back my hair. So yeah, beauty and function all around, yay! And I learned something new. Also, I wouldn’t suggest trying to eat chocolate diamonds, because that would just be silly.

  At my hip I carried an extremely sharp version of the sword I’d recently been using to train with. I also had numerous knives which I strategically placed in various locations upon my person. Should the need arise; I had them to fall back on. Across my back was strapped a quiver full of arrows, and in my hand I held a short bow. The arrows and bow were both made from some sort of lightweight metal which was black in color. I could tell Areth had conjured it just for me. The bow had etchings in gold with my image in full flight on the upper section and a bunch of odd creatures standing in a field at the bottom. I was pretty sure one of beasts was a Capriucorjs.