One Percent of You

by Michelle Gross

  Scott: Yeah. How about I take us to the movies?

  Hadley: You and Lucy? Yes, she’d love that. She misses you.

  Scott: She wouldn’t miss me if you’d just let me come home. Our son is about to be born soon.

  Hadley: I’m not keeping them from you. You can come and see Lucy whenever you want. It will be the same way when Eli is born.

  Scott: Well, whatever.

  I dropped my phone on my lap and rubbed my forehead. Scott was good at trying to make me feel guilty for kicking him out. I’d do anything for Lucy but taking her father back was something I couldn’t do. Not even if it meant she’d see him more. I could forgive his laziness along with his knack of not wanting to work. I took him as he was, but I could never take being cheated on. I still couldn’t understand what he didn’t get from me. What did I do so wrong to make him lay with another woman when all I expected from him was to be faithful to me?

  I let my head fall back and closed my eyes only to wake up sometime later by Lucy climbing on my lap. “Come eat!”

  “Careful around her belly, Luce,” Dad told her as she climbed off of me. I pushed myself up and walked into the kitchen where Mom was setting the table. She handed me a plate and made Lucy’s so I didn’t have to get up once I sat down.

  “Does Bubby like peaches that much?” Lucy asked me as she eyed the peach cobbler Mom placed on top of the oven.

  I nodded. “Yeah. Can’t get enough.” That was why Mom kept the ingredients on hand. I smiled as I dug into the spaghetti.

  “Have you heard from Olivia?” Dad asked me.

  My sister moved out of state a few years ago. She was a high school teacher and my best friend despite being so many miles away. It was unexplainable. I didn’t need to see her as long as I got to hear from her every day. “Yeah, this morning,” I told him.

  The night I found out about Scott, Olivia had been the first one I called. What did she do? Drove all the way home, used some of her days at work, and saved me from me. She stayed with Lucy and I that week while she built me back up with chocolate and hugs. It was impossible for her to heal me, but she gave me what was needed to push myself through the long month after kicking Scott out. Olivia gave me the strength required to keep him from weaseling his way inside my head again. His family was mean, but they only got worse toward me. I hoped whatever they said about me when they were around Lucy went in one ear and out the other. I didn’t talk to people about Scott when Lucy was around, though, I could. Even Dad knew to keep his mouth shut about Scott.

  “When is she coming home to visit?” Dad inquired.

  “Instead of asking Hadley, why not call her up yourself?” Mom asked. She got a grunt in reply.

  “She’ll be in this summer,” I told him.

  And that was that. The rest of the dinner we talked about random things until it was time for Lucy and me to go home. Of course, Dad bent down to Lucy while Mom was putting on her shoes so that I didn’t have to. “Want to stay with Papaw tonight?” he asked her.

  She shook her head and rushed to me just so she could wrap her little arms around my waist. I rubbed her head affectionately. “No, I’m going home with Mommy.”

  “Are you sure?” Mom glimpsed down at her with a smile. “Mamaw will cook gravy and biscuits in the morning.”

  Lucy shook her head again. “No, come on, Mommy.” She hurried to the door and opened it for us.

  “I’m fine,” I told them as I hugged them goodbye and left. They were trying to keep Lucy tonight just so I could get some rest on my day off. They were so easy to read.

  Chapter Three

  Elijah

  “Says right here that three and a half inches are all a girl needs to reach an orgasm,” Waldo said randomly at the shop the next day. Waldo was his nickname. His real name was Walter, but everyone called him Waldo because he was a scrawny little shit and looked like the guy from the books. Just graduated high school a year ago, I believed.

  I smirked and shook my head as I turned away from him and returned to the tattoo I was doing. Waldo reminded me of myself ten years ago. Gangly with long hair and god-awful tiny tattoos scattered all across his arm from practicing on himself. I had long since covered up all my shitty failures. He hadn’t reached that stage yet, or maybe he wouldn’t. He might stay a bony man all his life as well. I hadn’t but working out had been my choice.

  “Where does it say that?” Wendy spoke without glancing up from the guy’s arm she was working on. She came from my other shop. I’d known her for years, and she’d been the only one that liked the idea of moving. Wendy knew it had been a risk, but her girlfriend had been excited about it as well. Six months in, and it hadn’t been a failure. Jim and Lance were my other two artists, but they were out grabbing lunch before Jim’s appointment arrived. Waldo wasn’t a tattooist yet, more like one in training. He sat around and watched everyone else. He was too inexperienced to ink someone, but eventually, we would let him. One day. The kid had potential, we all saw that six months ago when he stumbled in on the day we opened.

  “On Facebook,” he answered.

  Everyone laughed including me. “You should be in good shape then, kid,” I said as I swiveled around in my chair to get some more black ink.

  “Fuck you, Elijah,” he spat, and even the customers laughed.

  “How’s the new place?” Wendy asked me.

  “A mess,” I told her. “Want to come set it up for me?”

  “Fuck that. If Cheryl hadn’t been the one to fix our apartment, our stuff would still be in boxes.”

  “So, you’re here for good?” the girl in my chair asked. I didn’t take my attention away from her thigh but she sounded excited.

  “I’m originally from here,” I said, tattooing the outline of her flowers. Every girl wanted flowers, feathers, an infinity sign… You know, girly stuff. I thought of the little thief wondering how much of a demon worshipper she’d think I was if I had flowers on my arm instead of black and white images of monsters, crosses, and all-around creepy shit. Maybe I am a little morbid. I was a horror movie junkie and thought my drawings came from the crazy flicks I watched, but I knew that wasn’t true. All my creations came from my twisted mind.

  Shit. Now the kid had me thinking that I might actually be some demon in human form… It explained so much.

  “Do you have a girlfriend?” I didn’t bother to look up at the customer’s face. If I did, I might give her the illusion of being interested in whatever she was thinking.

  “He’s single,” Wendy told her. “For a reason though. The guy’s an asshole.”

  “I like assholes,” flower girl piped in. Did she really say that? Now I had to be even more adamant about not making eye contact. Luckily, she had a nice thigh and as cliché as flower tattoos were on a girl, it didn’t change the fact that they were beautiful. Even more when it was my design that stamped their skin.

  Throughout the three-hour session with her, the girl was determined to have a go at me. Wendy had mentioned I was single on purpose. I finally glanced back up at her. Pretty. Dark eyes and hair, but most noticeably young, and I was a month shy of turning thirty—too old to deal with clingy. Besides, some men—even in this century—preferred to actually like the girl, have some sort of deep attraction to her to want to fuck her. I had one random hookup in my life and it was less than memorable. I had been horny—that happened sometimes—and she’d been available. Even my first time had been better than that, and Talia and me, at sixteen, hadn’t known what the fuck we were doing. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I only wanted sex when there was someone I could semi-like enough to put up with. I enjoyed fucking, but I liked my work more. Some days it was all about which one worked my nerves more—women or my job. Women were a headache, enough said. Besides, I wasn’t attracted to young chicks, so this one was shit out of luck.

  “Waldo will get you up front,” I said, shutting her down as I slipped off the gloves and put on new ones to sterilize the entire area. I discarded everything—stan
dard procedure—but our used needles and gloves couldn’t go in with our normal trash. I’d done this so many times that my body went through the motions without me even having to think about it. I never acknowledged the girl’s frown as she finally shuffled away from my chair. It took a good ten minutes before I finished cleaning up my workbench. I had just enough time to grab a bite to eat before my next appointment.

  Another day in the life of Elijah Parker.

  I got home around ten minutes after eight that night. The parlor closed at eight through the week, and nine o’clock on Fridays and Saturdays. Normally, I’d lift some weights when I got home, but I still had all my stuff to unpack.

  “What the fuck?” I muttered as I pulled into my driveway. It was pitch black outside, middle of March and still cold as hell outside yet there were a few idle brats hanging out in my yard. They had to be from the apartments. They appeared to be young teens. One of them held a cigarette in his hand.

  I slammed my door shut as I got out of the truck. “Mind telling me what the hell you guys are doing on my property?”

  Smoking Kid asked, “You bought this place?”

  “Yeah,” I told him. “Now get the fuck out of my yard before I make you.”

  “I ain’t afraid of you,” one of them muttered, yet they were all scurrying off toward the apartments.

  “You should be,” I hissed as I locked my truck.

  One of them whistled and catcalled. I glanced back to see what they were going on about. The street lights illuminated the mom and the little girl as she held her hand, walking to her car.

  “They’re doing it again,” the little girl said to her mom.

  “Ignore them. They’re just kids,” her mom said with a sigh. “Let’s take you to Mamaw and Papaw’s. I’ll pick you up in the morning when I get off work.”

  “Can you get me some gravy and biscuits on the way home?”

  The mom frowned. “Mamaw will make you some.”

  “Yay!” the little girl cheered as her mom buckled her up in the back and shut the door. I studied the mom from head to toe while she did that. Was she wearing white scrub pants? She was a lot tinier than I first realized. She was all belly. The mom took a minute to breathe and grab her back, then for some reason, her gaze fell on me. She flinched before finally saying, “What?”

  I was staring. I’d been watching them this entire time. “What?” I echoed back. She shook her head and waddled over to the driver’s side, got in, and drove away.

  Huh? So the mom worked after all. And night shift? Did that mean the dad wasn’t around? I thought of her expression after she had left… She was awfully young to be a mother of two. She looked younger than the girl I tattooed today.

  Oh well. I didn’t care, I told myself as I walked inside.

  Chapter Four

  Hadley

  “He’s doing it again,” Lucy muttered while staring out the window.

  I knew who she was talking about, but I still placed my textbooks on the coffee table, taking a study break, and sat down beside her so I could spy too.

  It had been a few days since the rude man had moved into the house, and a routine had started between him and the neighborhood kids. I frowned as I watched him yell at them messing around in his yard. “He’s only making it worse.”

  Seeing him deal with the punks that aggravated me all the time made me glad I didn’t get a chance to buy the house. I wanted far, far away from this building the second I could get us out of there.

  I winced as a Braxton Hicks contraction hit me. I laid my head against the cushion and closed my eyes until the cramp passed.

  “Are you okay, Mommy?” Lucy asked.

  I smiled and took a deep breath. “Yeah, it’s just getting close for Bubby to be here and he’s letting me know it.”

  She placed her head on my belly. “Tell him to kick me!”

  “He’s stubborn like you. You ask him yourself,” I told her. So cute watching her talk to my belly.

  “Kick me, Eli!” When he didn’t move at all, Lucy looked up with a pouty face. “He’s stupid.”

  “Lucy,” I warned. “That’s not nice.”

  “Mom.” I could tell by the sound of her tiny voice that there was a question coming.

  “What is it?”

  “Can we go play on the swing set while we wait on Daddy?” she asked while batting her eyes. She was too smart for her age. It terrified me. She was far too observant for a child that was only about to turn four. I couldn’t remember my younger cousin’s toddler being like Lucy at her age. It made me proud but also wary. I couldn’t keep those little ears of hers from listening and trying to figure things out she shouldn’t worry over.

  I peeked out the window again. The older kids were still there, and I hated going outside with them around. I normally didn’t take her down on the weekends. I knew they’d be there. Her play time was early morning—around two—after I’d picked her up from my parents or right before I tried to get some sleep. I rested while she watched TV. I had no other way of getting rest unless I let her stay with my parents and that would only mean that I’d see her less. A couple of hours here and there always got me through. I simply kept reminding myself, only four more months. I had a deadbolt on the door so Lucy couldn’t sneak out on me. She had tried once before while I dozed off.

  My actions wouldn’t earn me any Mother of the Year awards, but I hoped when Lucy looked back on these days, she realized I worked so hard so we could have more. The idea of my daughter hating me one day because I was too tired to play with her scared me most of all. Between nursing school in the morning and my nights spent working, I knew my daughter missed me. I missed her.

  Thankfully, it was March. The chill of winter still hung in the air and that was reason enough for telling her no. “It’s too cold. It’ll be summer soon enough, and then I’ll take you to play.”

  “But they are.” She pointed toward the kids through the window.

  “Kids who will get sick.”

  She crossed her arms and sulked—bottom lip puckered. Even though she was the cutest thing ever, it wouldn’t work on me. I rubbed her head and pulled her in for a hug. “Look at it this way, when summer comes, not only will we get to play outside, Eli will be here and Mommy will have a new job.”

  The words weren’t a lie. When I set out to do something, I was entirely different from my ex—I worked for what I wanted. Nursing positions were always opening up at the hospital. If anything, the hospital in Redford was only a thirty-minute drive and their hospital was huge and always needing workers. I could work there. Heck, we could move there.

  “Will you still be working nights?” she asked, still pouting.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Would you rather I work a different shift?” She nodded, and my heart broke. I considered the possibility of me getting to pick a shift and sighed. “Hopefully I can then,” was all I told her.

  “Why do you want a new job for?” she asked.

  “Um… It’s something Mommy wants to do and…” I grabbed her tiny waist and grinned. “They’ll give me more money. More money means more food in the house!”

  “Really?” That perked her up.

  “Yep! So this summer, how about you, Eli, and me make a plan to buy all the food we want when I get my first paycheck at the new job?”

  “Yes!” She thrust her hands in the air.

  I laughed, wincing as another false contraction hit me. Maybe it wasn’t Braxton Hicks anymore. They were happening more often. I probably should stop in at the hospital in case they were real contractions. I was so used to feeling tired and hurt that I honestly couldn’t tell on my own. “Not right now though. I have to get the job first. We still have a few months, but when summer comes, so will Mommy’s new job.”

  “Okay!”

  ____

  Hadley: Please tell me you’re coming. I have to leave for work in an hour.

  Scott: I’ll get her tomorrow.

  Hadley: At least call and talk t
o her.

  Scott: Tell her I’ll get her in the morning.

  I stared down at my phone, almost wanting to text the words, She barely talks about you, anymore! But I didn’t want to fight with him, even through text messages so I placed my phone down and watched Lucy while she played with her toy ponies.

  “Lucy…” I waited until she turned her head. I watched her smile up at me from the floor, and I couldn’t tell her that her dad wasn’t coming after all. “Ready to go to Papaw and Mamaw’s?” I asked, and silently, my child grabbed her toys, and got up from the floor.

  “I’m going to bring my ponies tonight.” Lucy didn’t ask about her dad. I didn’t know if she already forgot that he was supposed to show, or worse, that she knew he wouldn’t. Six months ago she asked about him every night. When is Daddy coming home? Why isn’t he here? Every month that ticked by without Scott coming to see her, it was like Lucy was forgetting him. Or maybe my daughter realized that she no longer had him in her life. I wiped my eyes as I took her hand and walked toward the front door.

  “Do you need to pee before we get to the car?” I asked, and she shook her head. “Want to call and talk to Aunt Liv on the drive there?”

  She nodded vigorously. “Yes, call her now, please.” I handed her my phone after I found Olivia’s name and hit call.

  It was so cold outside, the air so bitter and unwelcoming. I pulled Lucy’s hoody over her head as we made our way down the steps, and I paused to look at the sky. “Please don’t snow,” I whispered.

  “Liv!” Lucy yelled so Olivia must have finally answered. My Lucy! I heard my sister’s loud mouth yell back. “I’m going to Mamaw and Papaw’s right now…” And so she talked her head off while we walked.

  No kids were out lurking now, and I was happy about that as I pulled Lucy along toward the car.