One Percent of You

by Michelle Gross

  “Elijah’s home now!” Lucy piped in, and I turned my head to see his headlights.

  “I see that,” I told her. “Don’t even think about yelling at him.”

  “I told him I wanted more chips.”

  I sighed. “You can’t go around asking strangers for things, Lucy. You know better.”

  “He’s not a stranger anymore.”

  That child.

  “He sees me!” she yelled next. “He’s got a bag in his hand. My chips!”

  “Lucy!” I called after her but she was already opening her door and rushing out. Bottle and baby in hand, I hurried out after her. “Lucy!”

  I paused, eyes going round. He really had a bag in his hand and was coming our way. He saw me and pulled the bag closer to his side as he stalked toward us. His irises were like black orbs underneath the streetlight and even more intimidating. Suddenly he was next to Lucy, offering her the grocery bag. “I’ve had them in the truck all week. Just haven’t seen you until now.”

  She glanced up at me quickly. “Can I have them? Please?”

  I sighed and finally nodded. “What do you say?”

  “Thank you.” She beamed up at him. Kids were so simple.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I told him. I caught a peek of a lot more than one bag of chips in the bag he gave her.

  He shrugged, gaze skimming over me quickly that time. “Are you a nurse?” he asked.

  “CNA,” I replied, quickly adding, “But I graduate nursing school next month.” I didn’t have to tell him that. Why did I feel the need to do so?

  He nodded, placing his hands in his front pockets. I tossed Eli’s empty bottle in the open door and laid him over my shoulder as I patted his back. Stepping closer, Elijah peered down at me and Eli. “What?” I said nervously, bouncing my left foot.

  “You have something on your shirt.” His brows furrowed in the middle as he gazed down at… I followed his gaze to my chest.

  “Your boobies are leaking!” Lucy screamed for the world to hear.

  “God bless America!” I muttered. The milk had leaked through my pads and bra onto my scrubs.

  I glanced up to find his eyes widening. “Oh, that’s…” He covered his mouth and waved his hand around. “Is that normal? Do they do that?” He sounded and looked amazed. You’d think I told him I went to outer space.

  “It happens every time Bubby cries.” Why did my child feel the need to tell someone that? She paid too much attention!

  “It’s normal when the baby cries or if they’re full. It should stop soon though,” I quickly added to Lucy’s words, spine stiffening, heat spreading across my cheeks. “Is it normal for grown men to ask such a strange question? Are you one of those that gets offended to see a woman breastfeed in public?”

  “What?” His gaze traveled away from my chest, to Eli’s head, and up to my face. Elijah stepped away. He must have seen my embarrassment. “No. Fuck. Wow. I’m always making myself look like an— Shit!” He gawked at my chest again before he averted his gaze. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay!” I said and closed my eyes, trying to control the level of embarrassment we were both experiencing. I sighed and turned my gaze to Elijah’s. “I know it’s strange for people that don’t have kids, especially guys…” He looked up slowly. Now it was me turning my gaze from his. “We’re good, you know? The chip incident is forgotten. You don’t have to bring her anymore.” I gestured toward the bag and resumed rubbing Eli’s back.

  “Are we good?” His eyes darted to Lucy for confirmation.

  “I’ll take Funyuns every week,” she declared.

  I sucked my cheeks in to keep from smiling. I was seconds from correcting her, when he replied with his own smirk. “You drive a hard bargain, kid. How many weeks do I have to do this before I earn your forgiveness?”

  “Five!” She held out all five fingers and thrust them up toward him. “And it’s not kid. It’s Lucy. Say it with me. Lou-see. Lucy!”

  “I’ll stop calling you kid when you stop calling me demon worshipper.”

  Lucy rolled her eyes. “I already know you’re Elijah.”

  “All right, then it’s settled,” he said. “Lucy.”

  She giggled, and he glanced at me. I quickly lost my smile. “We need to hurry,” I said to Lucy so Elijah would know. “I’m going to be late for work.”

  He took another step backward, pinning me with a stare I couldn’t quite decipher. I thought I had him pegged as a jerk, but now he was a puzzle all over again. He couldn’t possibly be into me. That much was obvious. The only thing it could be was a guilty conscience.

  I walked around the opened doors of my car and buckled Eli into his car seat. He let out a deep sigh. “Come on, Lucy.” I also caught sight of Elijah still standing there watching us as I grabbed her hand and led her around the car.

  “Remember my Funyuns,” she told him.

  “I’ll remember.” His voice was almost thoughtful when he spoke. After strapping her in, I shut the door and walked around again. “I’ll see ya around then.” He tossed his hand up.

  I fidgeted with my hands before finally throwing mine up. “Okay. Bye.”

  “See ya.”

  See ya.

  He really needed to stop saying that.

  Chapter Eleven

  Elijah

  They looked unnatural on her. I rubbed my chin absentmindedly, staring at the framed artwork I’d recently put up in the shop. It was a painting without color except for the red dripping from the horned demon’s mouth and chin as he feasted upon the naked woman whose nipples leaked fluids. I drew him crouched, the lady in his hold. There was nothing else in the photo, the surrounding scenery faded out with different hues of grays and blacks.

  “Elijah.”

  She… Baby… Boobs. She breastfed….

  “Elijah!”

  Still not acknowledging Wendy, I murmured in my daze. “So… A mom’s body differs from a normal woman’s body.”

  “Huh?” Lance muttered.

  I finally turned away from the artwork—or most notably the bare tits I drew which were a tad too large for her body frame. I wouldn’t think too much about why I made them so big. Wendy's eyebrows were close to reaching her hairline as she gaped at me. “What’s with you? You’re normally only like this when sketching or painting, but you’re not doing either. You’re just staring all weird-like.”

  Still ignoring her, I said, “Did you know a woman’s tits leaked when a baby cried?”

  “Elijah.” She rubbed her forehead and then closed her eyes. “I’m not even sure I should say anything, but yeah, if a mother is breastfeeding, all sorts of natural things like that happen.” She looked at me and scoffed. “You sound like you’re just figuring out a woman’s breasts were actually there for a reason other than male perversion.”

  Her words hit the mark. It was a shitty way to think, but I didn’t even realize women still did that now. I meant, of course, I knew. I just knew no one who did it. Fuck. I couldn’t explain it. Leaking tits were foreign, bizarre, and equally intriguing to me.

  “Considering how big Cheryl’s tits are, I’d say you like a nice rack better than we do,” Lance piped in. He was the only one doing a tattoo. It was one of our slow days without appointments and only a few walk-ins.

  “I won’t deny it,” Wendy agreed with a sly grin before glancing at me. “Is this about that mom? Do you like her or something?”

  A month ago I saw those two wet circles on Hadley’s shirt, and I still thought about them. Whenever I saw Hadley and Lucy, my mind went back to that moment.

  On two different evenings I caught up with them using the excuse that I had chips for Lucy. Two weeks ago I placed them on her car, hoping that the apartment kids didn’t steal them. Hadley never spoke to me directly. It was always, What do you say, Lucy followed by a quick bye.

  My hanging around didn’t matter much. Only thing Hadley wanted was to get as far away as possible.

  Fuck if I knew what my deal
was with Hadley and Lucy. I was pushing the boundaries between us. Why? I had no idea, but I couldn’t stop myself.

  I kept wondering about Hadley. Things like just how young she was, and what was her last name. Was the kids’ father still in the picture? If so, where the hell was he?

  Anyone could see just how worn out Hadley was. The woman didn’t take time for herself. Every time I saw Hadley she had her blonde hair twisted on top of her head. She didn’t wear makeup to cover those dark circles that stuck out on her pale skin. Her most striking feature was her twinkling blue eyes.

  Her weariness hid Hadley’s beauty. I saw it in every move she made and the way she spoke. Lately, I wondered what she’d look like well-rested, well-fed, and relaxed. Why the hell hadn’t someone come to her rescue and let her get some much-needed sleep?

  But if she was a single mom, she probably had no choice. Ma worked herself to the bone until Hank stepped into the restaurant where she worked and swept her off her feet. My actual father—not that I’d ever call him that—was out of the picture before I was born. Up and left Ma before she found out she was pregnant. By the time she told him, he’d already gotten another woman pregnant. Two at the same time. He took one and rejected the other. As a child, he tried reaching out to me. I was ten years old and gullible. I fell for his lies about all the cool stuff we would do together and the places he’d take me. Every single time he bailed. Eventually, I stopped answering his calls, and he stopped coming around. At first his absence upset me. Then I realized I didn’t mean much to him, and I stopped caring. I had a good life with Hank, the only father I needed.

  “Oh, my God, you do!” Wendy screeched, giving her own meaning to my silence.

  “I don’t see her as anything other than a young mom,” I grumbled, then let my shoulders slump. “I kind of feel sorry for her.”

  “Why?” Lance asked. I turned around and saw him frowning with a questioning expression. “She has a baby too, right? The kids probably have different fathers. I got a cousin with four baby daddies. She falls in love within a week and thinks she needs to have a baby with every new guy. She doesn’t need you feeling sorry for her. I’m sure she’s living just fine off of child support.”

  I went ramrod straight in my seat. Hadley didn’t seem like the sort. She seemed too innocent and busy with her life.

  What the fuck, Elijah?

  Something was obviously wrong with me, especially when it came to the m-o-m. I went from judging her just like Lance was to wanting to defend her. Why? It wasn’t like she wanted me around or anything. Maybe it was her naivete—a promise of goodness—that captivated me.

  “Wow,” Wendy muttered. “Not every single mom is like that.” She shook her head as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket. “Working here with you guys every day reminds me why I’m a lesbian.”

  “She works and goes to some nursing school. I don’t even think she sleeps.” I wiped my mouth in irritation. “I don’t know her, but she’s definitely not whatever the fuck you just said.” I scowled at Lance.

  He tossed his hands up in defeat before going back to the tattoo. “Are you sure you aren’t into her?” he asked.

  “I’m not,” I replied quickly.

  “Then why are you fascinated with her tits?” he said.

  “Who said I was?”

  “Awfully strange for you to be talking about breastfeeding boobs after the mom came into your life,” Wendy piped in.

  Um…hello…leaking tits…

  “Not to mention the new painting he brought in?” Lance piped in unnecessarily.

  “Do that man’s tattoo and shut the fuck up!” I pointed at Lance, then Wendy, “And you… Just stop talking too.”

  _______

  Crossing over into the fifth week, I’d already bought Lucy her chips. This would be the last time—my debts paid and forgiveness earned.

  Something told me the kid was conning me out of the chips but I didn’t care. Lucy didn’t seem grumpy anymore with me. Hell, she seemed nothing but excited each time she saw me. I’d hear her say something like, “Is it time for my chips?” In which Hadley would rush her daughter into the car without meeting my eyes. She was back to not looking at me, and pretending I wasn’t even there.

  It pissed me off a little. I was trying to make up for the shitty way I acted toward Lucy and Hadley. I shouldn’t care that she wanted to avoid me. I preferred not to talk to them either…or so I thought. Why was I always fighting the itch to walk over every time I saw them loading up in her car?

  I didn’t know whether or not it was frustration or anger that Wednesday night. When I saw those white scrubs practically glowing in the streetlight, I rushed from my truck and crossed the yard with chips in hand.

  “Elijah!” Lucy screamed, and I almost smiled, almost, at the way she butchered the last part of my name. She didn’t know how to roll it off her tongue properly and ended up dragging out the last part. Eli-juhhh.

  “Lucy. Please don’t run. What if a car pulled in the parking lot?” Hadley sighed as she held the car seat in one hand and a diaper bag in the other. Lucy peeked over her shoulder but kept going, meeting me halfway.

  “Here.” I gave the bag to her. “Listen to your mom. You’ll scare her to death one of these days.”

  Lucy beamed up at me. You’d think I’d just complimented her. “I made her pee a little one time!”

  “LUCY!” I didn’t hide my smirk as I glimpsed over at her red-faced mother. “Tell him thanks. This is the fifth week. He’s not bringing you any more chips. You’ve been rude enough. Let’s go.”

  Lucy pouted, looking up at me. My eyes widened as I took in her tiny appearance then glanced over at her mom. Hadley was beyond uncomfortable every time her daughter put her through that with me. For some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t leave them alone.

  Was I stalking them? I was starting to weird myself out. What was my deal?

  “Eli-juh,” Lucy blinked up at me, still pouting.

  “Yeah, Lucy?” I gazed down at her.

  “Let’s be friends.”

  Did she want to be my friend? Really? I glanced at Hadley who stood a couple of feet from her daughter. That much closer to me. The similarities between the two of them were amazing. Lucy was Hadley’s mini-me. Cute kid. Pretty mom.

  I could be friends with a kid. I think. At least I think I could with this one. I stared down at Lucy. “Sure.”

  Clapping her hands, she jumped. “Okay. Will you still bring me chips?” She blinked once, twice. That wasn’t blinking. The kid was batting her eyes, knowing the art of getting her way. “I also like Skittles.”

  At that point, Hadley groaned and palmed her forehead. “Lucy…” she whispered, but I caught her smile before she masked it. “We need to stop bugging Elijah like this.” Unlike her daughter, Hadley said my name perfectly, the three syllables rolling off her tongue sweetly.

  Her words were kind although I was the one annoying them. I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “All right, I’ll keep that in mind. I like chocolate milk.” I didn’t know why I threw that out there, I just wasn’t ready for them to rush away even though I knew she had to go to work.

  “Me too!” Lucy was extremely hyper I noticed. She looked behind her. “You three, Mom, you like chocolate milk too!”

  Eli grunted in his car seat. “What is it?” Hadley lifted the car seat higher and cooed down at him. I was frozen. It was one of those surreal moments—seeing her first actual smile, even if it wasn’t for me. Damn it. My throat tickled a little, and my heart rate increased.

  Lucy’s mom was an exquisite woman—a very young, beautiful woman. Her teeth were straight and white. Her blue eyes were remarkable. Even with the dark circles and messy bun… I was enjoying the bun since it gave me a glimpse at her slender neck. It was hard to get much else when she wore nothing besides scrubs. I couldn’t make out her curves in them. Kind of bummed about it if I were being honest.

  “How old are you?” I asked before I realized how rude that s
ounded.

  Her lips thinned, slight happiness fading as she stiffened. “Twenty-one… Why?”

  “I thought you might be nineteen at the oldest,” I admitted with a grunt.

  Her nostrils flared. “Are you insulting me? I can’t tell.”

  “What? No.” I sighed. “I knew you couldn’t have been too young with you being in a nursing program but still, you do look kind of like a teen despite those scrubs.” And those giant tits…those giant leaking tits. That’s the only vivid detail not hidden beneath that loose material.

  “Well, I’m sorry for looking like a kid!” She huffed. “Come on, Lucy.” She grabbed Lucy’s hand, pausing momentarily. “Wait, how old are you?”

  I scratched my chin out of habit. “I turn thirty next month.”

  “Me too!” Lucy added, which made me smile. I think she meant her birthday was next month too, not her turning thirty.

  “Hmm…” Hadley sniffed cheekily. “I thought you were older—by a lot.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Just how old do I appear?”

  Jesus Christ. I worked out every day. I didn’t eat healthy if I were honest, but I ate my vegetables and fruits and ran every day. How did I look old?

  She sucked her cheeks in to keep from laughing, and I squinted at her, then it hit me. “Oh, I see what you’re doing.”

  She gave me a full-blown smile this time, and it knocked me off my axis. It was like she shot me with a laser beam or something. “See? It doesn’t feel good, does it?” She switched the car seat to her other hand. Her arms must be hurting.

  “How is looking younger than you are a bad thing? You’ll like that when you’re fifty,” I told her.

  Hadley shrugged. “It always sounds offensive when you’re a young parent.”

  “Let’s go,” Lucy took her mother’s hand and tugged her away from me. “Will Mamaw make my gravy and biscuits when we get there?”

  “I don’t know. She might. You’ll have to ask her.” Hadley turned away from me, but not before meeting my gaze purposely that time. “Bye, Elijah.”