Walking in the Shadows

by Giovanni, Cassandra

  “What?” Brian spat in shock. “You dump me?”

  I rolled my eyes, and he turned to walk away.

  “Brian, wait up,” Casey yelled as she rushed after him, bumping me hard as she did. I watched as she got in his car and sped off. In a matter of seconds a police car was stopped where his car had just been parked.

  “Abigail Martin?” The policeman asked. I nodded my head unable to speak. “Come with me, please?”

  “You okay?” Tad’s voice shot me back into the present as he tightened his arm around my waist. I shook my head and leaned forward to puke away from him.

  “You know I believe you, right?” he reassured me, rubbing my back.

  “I know, but to hear someone say that I could have—” I trailed off; wiping my mouth with the napkin he had given me.

  “It doesn’t matter what they say,” he said, lifting his hand to touch my face.

  “Thanks for the help with Beauwolf Mr. Knightley,” I said as a group of girls walked by from our school.

  He ran his hand threw his hair instead, and the girls giggled, staring him up and down. “Of course, Vera. I’ll see you in class in a little bit?”

  “Yeah,” I replied, but I didn’t make it to school that day, or the next. I had sat on my bed for the past three days, staring out the window with my parents’ photo clutched in my hands. Its sharp edges dug into my hands and left marks, but I still gripped it as if it would leap out of my hands. I had tried to grasp at the straws of reality, but the pain was just too deep. It was so deep that I felt numbed out even when my phone rang and interrupted the silence. I could have let him save me, but for some reason I thought I deserved the torture of my loneliness. I knew he wanted to make sure I was okay, but how could I tell him that?

  People thought I was a murderer.

  The thought made me sick and on the fourth day of my absence from life it physically brought me down.

  I knew my phone was ringing, but made no effort to move, it took too much effort, everything was taking too much effort. The fever was consuming me, and I was going from hot to cold without any sort of pattern. Each time the chill came I was dry heaving, unable to puke because there was nothing left in my body.

  I had lost track of time, and I had no idea how many days I had been out of school. The phone stopped ringing, and I found myself drifting off into a sweaty sleep that was more of a hallucination than anything. When the door bell rang I didn’t immediately answer, thinking I was dreaming, but then the pounding on the door pursued, and I was wide awake.

  “Vera! Vera!” Tad was yelling. “Let me in!”

  I stood with my legs shaking and made my way to the door. I opened it to find Tad standing there in full teacher dress.

  “Tad, why are you here?”

  “I was scared. I went to see Kirsten and she said you were really sick and you have no one to take care of you,” Tad replied as his eyes took me in.

  The background around him was starting to fade to black as I fell forward into his arms. When I opened my eyes he had a wet cloth on my forehead and was carrying me towards his car.

  “Tad?” I mumbled. “What are you doing?”

  He opened his car door and placed me in the passenger seat, reaching across and buckling me in.

  “Bringing you to the walk-in,” he replied.

  “What if you get in trouble?”

  “It doesn’t matter—you don’t realize how sick you are,” he commented as he wiped my sweating brow. “I should have come sooner—you should have called.”

  “I don’t want you in trouble,” I said, closing my eyes, but I was too weak to fight him.

  He shut the door in response and rushed into the driver’s seat, slamming the car into gear.

  “I don’t want you dead,” he snapped.

  I tried to laugh, but it came out a choking sound. “I wouldn’t have died.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  “Move! Damn it! It’s a stop sign not a god damned train!” Tad yelled at the car in front of us.

  My head was pounding, and my heart was pounding, and the world was swirling.

  “Calm down ,Tad,” I whispered.

  “I miss you calling me Tad. Mr. Knightley is so cold,” he replied, his voice cracking and tears falling down his cheeks.

  “That’s because it is.”

  “If something bad happens to you…”

  “I might have lost some brain cells from the fever, so I might trip over more invisible objects,” I teased as I tried to lighten the situation.

  “Always the comedian.” Tad shook his head.

  “More like ditz,” I replied, and he smirked as I drifted off.

  Chapter 26

  As I walked to my first class I heard my name called to my guidance counselor’s office. Tad was just entering his classroom and his head popped up hearing my name. His face was brooding as if he already knew what was coming. Jaz stood next to me staring at him.

  “God almighty, Mr. Knightley has my heart!” she swooned.

  I struggled to make my laugh not sound like I was gagging. “Mine too.”

  “So, where have you been?” Jaz asked.

  “I got the flu pretty badly,” I replied, and she threw her hands up making an X with her fingers. “I’m not contagious anymore, silly.”

  “Alright…Well, the new development is that Knightley isn’t gay…I hear he’s madly in love with his girlfriend.”

  “His girlfriend? Where did you hear that?” I repeated, trying to keep the ‘it’s me’ look off my face.

  “I overheard Jennings hitting on him in the teacher lounge. She gave him her number even though he said he was only on a temporary break with his girlfriend, and he threw it in the trash the second he walked out the door,” she explained as she pulled me to the water fountain.

  “I guess that’s really sweet?”

  “Totally! I wish he could read to me in bed,” she teased as she winked at me, and when I gave her a strange look she sighed. “Not like that! I meant it in a romantic way, although…”

  “I get it,” I cut her off just as my name was called over the PA again. I rolled my eyes. “I wonder what I did now.”

  She grabbed my shoulder. “Seriously—I was joking. It’s okay to laugh you know.”

  “Sorry. I just have trouble letting people in I guess,” I replied, biting my lip. It was true, but despite myself I was having a hard time not letting her in.

  “I don’t take offense. Some people don’t like to laugh,” she reassured me with a nudge.

  “I do laugh, just only with certain people.”

  “Have fun getting in trouble,” she said over her shoulder as she walked away.

  Chapter 27

  “Some of your teachers are concerned. Being the new person in town can be tough, but they think you’re exhibiting some rather anti-social behavior. You participate in class, but not with your class mates, more or less only with the teacher. They’re worried that you’re missing out on the high school experience by being so by yourself. It doesn’t seem you have made any friends and it has been a few months and you don’t seem to have any interest in any of the senior activities. The freshmen at this school are already looking forward to their senior activities,” my guidance counselor explained, her hands crossed in front of her. “I spoke to your previous guidance counselor about the situation and it’s normal to grieve, but it’s been two years.”

  I took a deep breath hoping what came out of my mouth sounded civil and not rude and chastising her for the stupidity of such a statement.

  “This isn’t a part of the grieving process. I find it hard to relate to people my age because, well, they haven’t experienced half of what I have. I’m not talking about my parents either. I’m an adult, and I have obligations outside of school. I have a job and bills to pay that other people my age won’t have for another four years. I’m not being anti-social because that behavior shows a psychological dislike for other h
uman beings that includes their feelings and acting out by breaking rules and laws. I haven’t done any of that, nor will I. I have friends like Jasmine, and I do plan on going to some senior activities.”

  “Like?” she pressed.

  “Winter formal,” I spilled, without thinking and wished I could retract it.

  “I see your point Vera, and it’s valid. If this should be a part of the grieving process, please feel free to come to me and talk about it. I’ll be chaperoning that dance and will look forward to seeing you there. Do you have any questions?” she asked, and she didn’t fake that she was very contented with herself.

  I needed to give myself a severe kick in the ass for that one. What the heck would I do at a school dance? Stand at a wall like a pretty little statue?

  “Did all of my teachers have this complaint?” I asked, trying to bite my tongue. I wanted to smash all their heads together.

  “No, one in particular felt it was a big mistake. He stated you were at higher level of maturity and learning than many of your counterparts and that was the reason for the disparity,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders; it obviously didn’t matter to her.

  “Mr. Knightley?”

  “That’s the one. He said a lot of your insights puzzle your classmates and are ideas that he himself had just come to terms with in his last year of college. You should be proud of your accomplishments Vera. But you should still experience high school as well. You can’t turn back the clock and you don’t want to be wishing you did some day,” she finished her tirade.

  I tried not to laugh. It was a ridiculous thought—I hated high school, especially now, when the lines of difference between me and the others were becoming so clear. It made me stick out like a sore thumb and that was not the point of me moving somewhere else. I was supposed to blend in and not have people notice me and connect the dots. How was I supposed to be a normal teenager when nothing about me seemed normal anymore?

  Chapter 28

  “So, I hear that Miss Jennings still has the hots for you,” I commented as I took my seat in Tad’s empty classroom.

  “Gossiping about your teachers are you?” Tad teased as he took the chair in front of me and sat in it backwards. I tried to ignore how sexy he looked with his sleeves rolled up and his hair tussled just right.

  “Eh, just the hot one...she's pretty though,” I answered, biting my lip with nerves.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me—her?” he replied. “She tried to convince me that the Crimson Reign saga was something that should be in the English curriculum.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told her that I had never read them, nor was I ever going to.”

  “Is that because of me?” I asked.

  “Do I look like that soppy romantic type?” he teased.

  “A lot of people still love that vampire stuff,” I retorted, and I found that I was a bit nauseous at the thought of being forced to read the book that had ruined my life.

  He stood and walked to the front of the room.

  “She has a 'runs with vampires' tattoo on her wrist. That's why she wears that hideous bracelet all the time. That's good teacher gossip for your trouble maker friend Jaz,” Tad commented, turning and pointing at me with his eyes narrowed.

  “You would die if you knew what else she's said about you.” I teased, and I was glad to change the subject to something lighter.

  His head whipped around. “Does it embarrass you or make you think...about things?” Tad winked at me.

  “You suck.”

  “I see the way you stare at my handsomeness when you walk in here,” he commented.

  I was glad that I had worn a tight, v-neck t-shirt. I leaned forward and his eyes went just where I knew they would. “Two can play that game.”

  “You’re... bad,” he stuttered.

  “Nope, I’m just reminding you of the towel incident,” I taunted him.

  The bell rang and he adjusted his tie.

  “You look flustered Mr. Knightley,” Jaz observed coming into the room. “Is Vera causing trouble again?”

  “Mhmm...always,” I responded as Tad pulled on his tie symbolically.

  The second the bell rang Jaz’s arm was linked in mine, dragging me out the door.

  “So, it looked like you were flirting with the hottie and it looked like he liked it!” Jaz commented, nudging me in the ribs.

  I stopped and turned.

  “Don’t say that—teachers can get fired just because someone makes something like that up,” I responded in a hushed but accusing voice.

  “I wasn't planning on telling anyone! I was just teasing you. You need to learn to take a joke!” she said, throwing her hands up.

  “Sorry Jaz...he's a good teacher, and I wouldn't want a rumor to get started that would get him in trouble,” I replied, taking a deep breath.

  “No one would believe them anyways; remember he's madly in love with his college girlfriend?”

  “Oh, yeah I forgot,” I muttered. Not.

  “So while you were sitting at home throwing your peas up, did you watch the news at all?”Jaz asked as we continued to my next class.

  The peas were threatening an encore appearance at the thought. “Umm…no why?”

  “Everyone is totally on the vamp talk again. First the Channel 3 News got their ass handed to them on a platter by the chief of police for accusing the daughter of the first couple that was killed of having some hand in the murders. I guess it turns out her safety was at risk, so she moved away under witness protection,” she explained, pausing for effect, and my stomach calmed somewhat. “Well, now everyone is all riled up because a—Mac Bronson’s beautiful face is going to be plastered everywhere again soon; and b—there’s talk the murders will start again with the release of the new movie.”

  “That part b doesn’t scare you?” I asked as we took our seats in Miss Jennings’ classroom. It certainly scared me.

  “All the murders took place like one hundred miles away from here way on the other side of Mass. We’re safe here; don’t you worry.” Jaz reassured me, squeezing my hand.

  “Did you ever think that it was more than one person, so it could happen here?” I suggested as sweat began to build on my brow.

  “You do have an interest in vampires—you are a normal teenager!” Jaz exclaimed.

  “No, I don’t; I just heard the stuff about the different murders and none of them are really the same, except for the vampire part. Maybe it’s a cult?”

  Jaz shrugged. “As long as Colby Gray comes for me, I don’t care.”

  “Is there any time you don’t think about guys?” I teased, the panic releasing with Jaz’s nonchalant attitude.

  She turned and pointed her finger at me. “Men, Vera, those are real men. Not little boys.”

  “Knightley beats Bronson hands down, Jaz. There’s no competition there,” I joined in with a smile.

  “You’re right about that one, and I don’t think they would need to spray paint muscles on him from the looks of those tight button ups,” Jaz commented, her pupils widening at the thought.

  I smirked to myself. Nope, no spray paint needed there.

  Chapter 29

  “I so needed this ten minute break, a block of Knightley is great, but then a block of Jennings—I feel like going to sleep,” Jaz yawned as we stood outside her locker across from Miss Jennings’ room.

  “Shh…here she comes,” I whispered, lowering my eyes to stare at my flip flops.

  “I heard you girls talking about the murders,” Miss Jennings began. “Do you think killers have a conscience?”

  “Well, Miss Jennings, they killed innocent people,” Jaz replied, and her body movements indicated she was as uncomfortable as I was with the conversation.

  “Have you read the Crimson Reign books?” Miss Jennings asked, tilting her head.

  “Yeah, of course, but Vera over here hasn’t touched one,” Jaz answered, nodding towards me with a nervous twitch.

  “Well,
then you know Faye was after Naria for revenge? Colby killed her mate, and caused the coven war, so it was only fair, right?” Miss Jennings probed as she flipped her long blonde locks.

  I wished I could walk away because I wanted to yell at the women that she was insane. She was talking about my parents like they deserved to be killed.

  “Colby only killed him because he was going to kill Naria, and she had done nothing to deserve it but run away from being a slave to them. So it wasn’t right,” Jaz retorted as she backed further into the lockers.

  I knew I should speak up as I looked at Jaz’s anxious eyes darting from me to Jennings.

  “An eye for an eye isn’t fair because what you think is equal punishment may not be. The people killed weren’t the only ones who suffered. Their families did too, and how many people live in fear now because of it? No one should have the ability to decide to end someone else’s life,” I said as I tried to keep my voice level and unmoving.

  “Yeah, exactly what Vera said,” Jaz agreed and then whispered, “Way to show me up!”

  Miss Jennings raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. I could feel she didn’t agree.

  “I was thinking we should do a section on the murders in my class,” Miss Jennings suggested, her eyes narrowing on me. I felt like a cock roach hit with poison. I wanted to scurry away, but I couldn’t feel anything except for the slowing of my heartbeat.

  “What?” Jaz burst out, and I was too shocked to speak. “It’s not even history, it’s happening now, and I don’t see anyone teaching about Ted Bundy or Zodiac!”

  Miss Jennings pursed her lips and began to walk away. She turned back around and spoke, “It will be history ladies.”

  “Is she freaking nuts?” Jaz gasped, her stance relaxing.

  “I think so,” I choked.

  “No parents would let—Vera, are you okay? You look super pale.”

  “I have to go,” I mumbled. Jennings’ words that it would be history echoed in my head, dulling my senses and numbing the tips of my limbs.