To Love in Peace: 10th Anniversary Edition

by Kathleen Bird

  Sighing, she stopped pacing and looked out at the trees that made up the beginnings of the forest. The little creek she and Ralyn used to play in as girls was hidden somewhere out there. So wasn’t the little forest path they used to take walks on. It all reminded her of a simpler time, before the war started.

  Pausing, she looked at the road that led away from the castle. It snaked around the forest and towards the little village that was about ten miles down the way. Eventually it would break off into different sections leading to all the various parts of Adven and Suffrom. Just now there was no one on it. Or was there? Dust seemed to be flying all around just beyond the bend. The top of a carriage appeared. Then the horses leading it. Then the knights guarding it. It wasn’t a big party, but it was obviously someone important because the carriage windows were covered and there was a contingent of knights that followed on all sides. The wind again caught the banner flying from one of the standards, and the flag of Suffrom was unfurled. Instantly, Katherine knew who it was and rushed down the stairs and out the gate to meet her.

  Ralyn, Queen of Suffrom and sister of Katherine descended the steps of the carriage cautiously. She had a tiny bundle in her arms, her newborn baby who was currently fast asleep. Her smile of greeting turned to a look of astonishment when she saw what was going on around her. Katherine continued running to her, undaunted. She threw her arms around her sister and let the tears fall into her hair and onto her dress.

  After a moment, Ralyn pulled back. She always had been more withdrawn and introspective, less interested in public displays of emotion. “What happened?” Her horror grew in intensity as she looked around and took in first the bloody battlefield, then the men moving solemnly about their work, and finally Katherine’s tearstained face.

  “The war. It came right to our doorstep.”

  “And?”

  “It’s over now. The knights are looking for the instigator to avoid further trouble. He couldn’t have gotten far.” Katherine was surprised by how detached she felt. This man had personally tried to kill her! How could she feel so empty?

  “Where’s your husband? I’m dying to meet him. I can’t believe you got married without telling me first! And not even sending a messenger until months afterward, you should be thankful I’m so forgiving…” Ralyn looked around for someone who looked like a king. The men closest to her had overheard what she said and paused, waiting for Katherine’s reply. Everyone was worried for their young king.

  “Eli is with him. He was badly hurt in the battle…” Her voice cracked and she stumbled over her words.

  Ralyn put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Was it bad?”

  Tears interfered with her ability to stay calm. “I thought he was dead. He was lying so still. His eyes were open, but they didn’t see me…” She felt like collapsing as she buried her face in her hands. Part of the horror would never wear off. That image would remain in her heart and mind forever, whether or not he lived.

  The moment had come. Ralyn plunged forward, fearing the worst. “And Evan?”

  Katherine couldn’t stop crying. How could she tell Ralyn? As horrible as Michael lying in a room somewhere in the castle, in pain and alone; it wasn’t as bad as knowing there was no hope at all that she would see him alive again.

  “Katherine? Tell me what happened to my husband.” Ralyn’s voice shook on the last word. She anticipated what her sister would say.

  “He…Evan…I…” But she couldn’t go on. Katherine felt her world was collapsing around her. Yes, the kingdom was saved. However, the person she loved most in the world was dying, and she had to tell her only living relative that her husband was…

  “Dead?” Ralyn whispered.

  A tearful nod from Katherine affirmed her greatest fears.

  Ralyn stood still, unmoving for a moment. The tears started flowing down her cheeks little by little. “I told him it would happen. I warned him of the danger, but he said everything would be okay.” A sniff. “He promised everything would be okay. He said God would take care of him! I was to meet him here today, and he would come out of the gate to meet me…” Her hand reached toward the open gate. Her heart was breaking knowing that her husband would never walk out those doors. “He promised it would be okay.”

  Katherine’s body racked with her sobbing. Even Ralyn’s similar sorrow could not appease the pain in her heart. Michael was going to die. All their hopes and dreams and plans for the future would die with him.

  She felt Ralyn’s hand on her shoulder again. The baby started to cry. She could hear Ralyn trying to quiet the little one with soft sounds and whispers. “Shh, Helen. Mother’s here. Shh. It will be alright.”

  It will be alright. The phrase echoed through her head and spat in her ears. It will be alright? How can it be alright? Her heart felt like it was breaking. The pain was too great.

  Suddenly, real pain shot through her body. She screamed and bent over, clutching her stomach with both hands.

  “Katherine! What’s wrong? Katherine, answer me!”

  She was too focused on breathing to answer. One breath in, one breath out. Everything will be alright. The echo seemed to laugh at her pain.

  “Katherine!” Ralyn reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Katherine, answer me! What’s wrong?”

  A gasp accompanied her last conscious thought. “The baby…It’s early.”

  Ralyn caught her sister with one hand as Helen screamed in her other arm. Katherine was breathing heavily and unconscious, passed out from the pain. Panic streaked through the young queen’s body. She was about to lose her sister! She was going to die right here in her arms! Then she would be truly alone in the world. God! Help her! Don’t let her die!

  Suddenly, her brain understood Katherine’s last muffled cry. “The baby! Katherine’s baby?” Gently she put her hand on her sister’s doubled up stomach. A soft kick met her hand halfway. “Katherine! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Her next thought was that she not only had to keep Katherine alive, but this baby as well. “Someone help! Please help!”

  The men were already ahead of her. They had heard Katherine’s scream and sent someone to get Eli. When Ralyn finally put all the pieces together, he was running out of the gate. Adam and Edwin followed closely behind.

  They gathered around Ralyn. Eli put his hand on Katherine’s forehead. “She’s burning up.” A hand on her wrist. “Her pulse is racing.” Before he could move another inch, Ralyn interrupted.

  “It’s the baby, Eli. She said it’s early. How early is it?”

  “I don’t know. I only found out yesterday.”

  “Yesterday! How did you not know until yesterday?”

  Eli shook his head. “She didn’t tell anyone.”

  “Surely her husband…”

  “Not even Michael knew. I think he suspected, but he never pushed it. I also suspected, but I didn’t think she was this far along. She hid it well.”

  The unconscious Katherine felt the pain rocket through her body once again and moved, arching her back and lettting out a cry.

  Eli grabbed one of her arms. “We can’t let her deliver this baby in a bloody battlefield! Adam, help me!” The two men picked Katherine up and started to carry her to the castle. Edwin took the baby from Ralyn’s arms and allowed her to run alongside Katherine’s limp body, whispering comfort to her pain-filled heart and body.

  How long had it been? This pain felt like it would never leave. Every so often she felt it get especially bad and somewhere in the blackness, she heard herself scream. Darkness enveloped her. “The baby?”

  Ralyn’s voice whispered to her. “It will be okay, Katherine. The baby’s fine. You’re fine. Eli and I are going to help you deliver this baby, and it’s going to be okay. Everything will be alright.”

  “Everything will be…alright.” The darkness pulled her back again.

  “Is she going to make it, Eli? Is she going to live?”

  Eli was just as worried as Ralyn but promised himself that he woul
dn’t let himself show it. “With God’s help. With God’s help, she will live.”

  The two watched and waited anxiously. Katherine remained unconscious.

  Darkness was shifting. It felt as though a veil was being pulled from her eyes. Gradually, she could see the bedroom around her. The windows were open, and the sun was shining brightly. Katherine turned her head to view the rest of her surroundings. To her right, Ralyn sat upright in a wooden chair. She was sleeping with her head leaned to one side.

  “Ralyn?” Her voice sounded thin and wavering.

  Her sister stirred and slowly half opened her eyes. When she saw that Katherine was awake, she popped up and shook off the last remnants of sleep. “Katherine! I was so worried you would never wake up! You were so exhausted.”

  Katherine smiled. “The baby? Is the baby alright?”

  Before Ralyn could answer, the door swung open with a slight creak. Eli came in just then, carrying a baby in his arms. Katherine let out a little squeak of joy and reached out her arms to hold the little one. With a smile that covered his whole face, Eli handed her the tiny bundle and whispered, “It’s a girl.”

  Katherine looked down at the baby in her arms. Her tiny hands reached out to grab her mother’s fingers. She was sleeping peacefully, with a half smile across her face. She had brown hair like her father.

  “Does Michael know?”

  Eli and Ralyn looked at one another before he slowly answered. “Michael has not regained consciousness.”

  Katherine clutched the baby closer to her chest. “Is he going to make it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Silence. “May I see him?”

  Ralyn started to protest. “You’re not well enough to move yet, Katherine. Michael wouldn’t want you to risk your health. Please rest at least another day.”

  “Michael may not have another day,” she protested softly.

  Eli thought for a few moments before answering. “You may see him, but not for very long. Take the little one with you. She will remind you to keep hopeful.”

  Before he could say another word, Katherine was out of bed. She handed the baby to Ralyn while she dressed and was soon out the door.

  The room was dark. The windows were closed, and the heavy winter curtains covered them. The bed was only big enough for one man. Eli had tried to find the most out of the way guest room for Michael. He didn’t want prying eyes constantly harassing and prolonging the healing process. It was a good room for prayer. The darkness was so heavy that the baby started to sniffle and cry.

  “You can feel it too, little one?” Katherine softly hummed until she went back to sleep. The presence of death was very near.

  Michael looked so pale as he lay on the bed. His chest hardly moved as he breathed. His eyes fluttered under the lids, seeing things beyond the physical realm his body resided in. “Are you having nightmares, Michael?”

  Of course, there was no response. She put her hand on his still cold one. “I know you can’t hear me, but I just want you to know that I love you.” She sniffed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I mean, I know you know that I love you, but…” Her voice trailed off as she lost the words to say. She rocked the baby in her arms for a few moments. Every motion reminded her of Michael. He should be here with her, holding his little girl and cooing to her. Telling her everything would be alright. Promising the world would look a little brighter tomorrow.

  “I wish you could see her. She looks just like you. She’s got your eyes and your unceasing smile. Do you know what I named her, Michael?” A pause. She watched his unresponsive face. “I named her Sophia.” A sniff. “It means peace. That’s what you wanted for her. To live in peace in Adven. To grow up not having to be afraid. I hope all that happens. I just hope you’ll be there to see it.”

  Katherine paused her little speech. She looked around the room, trying to hold back the tears. She could feel little Sophia starting to tense up. The overwhelming heaviness in the room was almost too much for her to bear.

  “It’s so dark in here, Michael. I wish I could open the window.” She thought for a moment. “Why can’t I open the window?” With that thought uppermost in her mind, she flung back the curtains and opened the window. A slight breeze filled the room and the sunlight danced on the furniture, Sophia’s sleeping face, and Michael’s still form. The tenseness in the room instantly lifted. Darkness retreated to the corners, and she felt hope stir in her heart again. “It’s amazing what a little light can do!”

  Sophia yawned and opened her eyes. She was such a calm baby. Her bright brown eyes squinted in the light; and she rubbed her tiny fists in them. Katherine smiled. “You really do bring hope to a person, don’t you? You make me want to live forever, Sophia.” She kissed the tiny forehead.

  Michael still hadn’t moved, except for the small rising and falling of his chest as he breathed. Katherine moved to the chair beside the bed. Eli must have been sitting there watching his patient, hoping he’d awaken. Now it was her turn for a little while.

  “I don’t know why God allowed this to happen. A few months ago, I saw my father dead on a battlefield. A few days ago, I saw my brother-in-law die the same way. I don’t want to watch you die, Michael.” She took a breath and with their daughter in one arm, placed her free hand on the bedside. “But I will. I promised to love you, and I won’t ever break that promise. Love as strong as death. I just never thought the death part would come so soon.” The tears were coming again. It was so easy to cry these days! “But I won’t give up. God gave me peace for the battle yesterday. I pray He’ll give me peace for what lies ahead. And, I promise, I’ll keep going. No matter what happens to you. I’ll love you forever, Michael; but I’ll love Sophia and rule Adven just the same. I may not understand why God does what He does, but I’ll trust Him.” She patted Michael’s hand and stood to her feet. She gathered Sophia in her arms and pulled her close. Before she left, Katherine turned back to look at her husband. He was lying so still. His face was as white as a sheet. Nothing but his chest moved, up and down, up and down.

  “Good-bye, Michael. ‘Place me as a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.’ I’ll love you forever, I promise.”

  The door was almost closed. Her tears were starting to fall down her cheeks. Sophia was beginning to fuss. Everything was falling apart. But then, that strange peace. She’d felt it right before the battle. She felt it every time God spoke directly to her. Everything was going to be okay. Somehow, everything was going to be okay.

  “Katherine?”

  It was in her head. It had to be. That couldn’t be…

  “Michael?”

  She flung the door back open and heard it crack against the wall. On the bed lay Michael, pale as ever. But something had changed. His hand was lifted off the bed ever so slightly. He was reaching for her.

  “Michael!” Katherine rushed to the bedside and grabbed his hand. There was hardly a response to her touch, but she could feel warmth where before it was cold and lifeless. Sophia started to cry, clearly dissatisfied with the sudden change in movement and emotion.

  His eyes fluttered open. “Is that her?”

  Startled, Katherine looked oddly at her husband. “How did you know?”

  A smile filled his face. “I’ve known for awhile. You’re my wife. Don’t you think I ought to know?”

  “But I didn’t tell you! I was worried what you would think.”

  “I’ve felt her kicking during the night for some time now. I figured you were waiting for a good time to tell me.”

  Katherine blushed. “I was. But then you started talking about having a family after the war. I knew that it was coming sooner than you hoped; and I just didn’t know what to do.”

  Another smile. Michael opened his eyes and squeezed her hand. “All is forgiven. Let me see her.”

  She drew closer and held the still squirming bundle so he
could see. “Her name is Sophia.”

  Michael smiled at the little girl in his wife’s arms. She was getting ready for another cry and wrinkled her nose at her father. Her tiny fists swung around until they found a home halfway in their owner’s mouth. Sophia sucked hard on her hand and settled back to sleep.

  “She’s beautiful.”

  Drawing back Katherine looked down and replied, “She looks just like you.” A smile. “It’s so good to have you back.” Quickly, she planted a kiss on Michael’s forehead and headed out the door. “I’d best go tell Eli the good news.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Let me see her.”

  Katherine handed the fast-growing Sophia to Michael’s open arms. “It’s hard to believe she’s already a month old.”

  He flashed a smile before turning his attention to the little girl. “It’s hard to believe we’ve managed to live in peace for a month after two years of nothing but war.”

  The couple was walking in the garden. The sun was shining, and the grass was growing. Little flower buds were starting to pop open and present their beautiful colors to the world. Bluebirds and cardinals flew from tree to tree, collecting straw and twigs for their nests. Bright orange and yellow butterflies fluttered from flower to flower, drinking in the sweet nectar hidden within the colorful petals.

  “How is Ralyn? I haven’t seen much of her.”

  Katherine sighed. “She’s grieving. Spends a lot of time with Helen.”

  “Is she avoiding me?” Michael’s face was etched with concern.

  “In some ways no.” A shrug. “In other ways yes. You look just like Evan. Everything you do reminds her of him. Just being here in Adven reminds her of him but going back to Suffrom would be too much for her.” She stopped walking and touched Michael’s shoulder. “I’ve been meaning to ask if she could stay here. It’s going to be too hard trying to run Suffrom, raise Helen, and grieve all at the same time. I think Ralyn wants to forfeit her claim to Evan’s throne.”