His Lady Ashlynn

by Starla Kaye

  “But I want her!” he ground out. He did, desperately.

  Both of her brothers blinked in disbelief at him. It was Braden who spoke first. “After all she put you through?”

  He slumped, nodding. “Yes.”

  “Then you will go to her?” Daniel asked, wary.

  His heart might want her, but his pride was still wounded. Even though she’d finally blurted out that she would marry him before her father had burst into the room, she had done so because he’d been spanking her. He knew a woman would agree to anything when their bottom was hurting enough. He’d basically forced the words from her. He’d told her prior to the spanking that he was willing to give her more time, that he would court her and entice her to be his wife. She had said nothing in response to that, although he hadn’t given her much of a chance before he’d begun the spanking.

  Making a decision he hoped he could live with, he shook his head. “I wish nothing more than for Ashlynn to be happy. Yet I realize that I cannot keep forcing myself upon her. So, no, I will not go to her.”

  He moved away, heart heavy. “What has happened over these last couple of months will blow away. Another scandal will soon have the interest of the ton. Edmond will be able to seek a good husband for your sister. He is wrong about no men wanting her after this.”

  The thought of some other man wedding her, taking her to his bed, tore at him. But he loved the contrary woman enough to step aside. He wouldn’t be around to watch her go about with someone else, though. He would stay at one of his estates…possibly travel. Take time to forget the woman he couldn’t have.

  He walked out without another word.

  ***

  Payton House with its beautiful gardens and excellent stable really was a wonderful place to be if one was in exile, which she was. Ashlynn reined in the magnificent white Arabian she’d taken to riding every afternoon. They stopped at the crest of the hill overlooking the vast grounds. The view was breathtaking from the expanse of green, well-kept lawns to the woodlands along the river to the massive house that had been in the Remington family since the 15th century. It was hard to believe that she was a part of all this familial history, all the complications that went along with being the Duke of Claymore’s daughter. His outcast daughter.

  She swallowed hard, blinked away tears filling her eyes. Her heart ached as it seemed to do so much of every day. She’d felt cast off and lost ever since her father had sent her here two long weeks ago. It had been horrible enough when he’d torn her away from her life in Virginia, forced her to give up everything she knew and the world she understood. But being forced away to yet another unfamiliar place…and then forgotten by those she loved…this was worse. She hadn’t seen or heard one word from any of her siblings or from her father. No doubt their lives were much better without her there to do anymore damage to the family’s reputation. But their abandonment hurt, deeply.

  The gelding fidgeted beneath her and she reached down to pat his strong neck. Her soothing gentled him. He’d become her only friend, although the servants here were not unkind to her. Still, what she wouldn’t give to have someone touch her in comfort, to hold her in their embrace…to hug her.

  As it had too many times since she’d been dragged away from his house, Blaine’s handsome face came to her mind’s eye. She’d acted like a spoiled brat almost from their first meeting, like a child who still belonged in the schoolroom. She couldn’t imagine what he had possibly seen in that awful young woman. A woman she now felt terribly ashamed of being. He had wanted to give her a good life as his wife. He had wanted to love her. But she’d been so resistant to his charms and to being forced into an arranged marriage. She truly hadn’t given him a chance.

  Squeezing her eyes closed as regret tortured her, she recalled how her foolish heart had longed only for Gerald. Sweet, timid, milk toast Gerald. He had really never been more than a friend. She knew that now. He had shied away from her hinting at something more, and now she was grateful he had. They wouldn’t have suited. She would have run their household because he wasn’t strong enough to stand up to her. And she would have ended up disliking him and their marriage. Only Blaine had the confidence to face her down, to take a firm stand. Yet he also had a gentle side.

  Tears streamed down her face as she glanced bleakly at the river ahead, trembling in her misery. He was out of her life forever. He had argued with her father when he’d been determined to take her back to Braden’s home. Yet he hadn’t come after her. He no doubt was more relieved than anything else now that she was banned from London. He would endure a short period of embarrassment at the wedding being called off, but he would get past it. His life would go on quite well without her complicating it. After all, he had his duties in the House of the Lords, his businesses to oversee, his friends to help him get over the problems she’d made for him. And women fall all over themselves to draw his attention, to win his heart.

  But he’d said he loved her! A lie, obviously, the proof of that being in how he hadn’t come after her that day or since then.

  “I’m better off without him,” she told the horse, dashing at her tears. “He’s better off without me.” She just needed to accept it.

  The sound of an approaching rider captured her attention, had her swiping again at the tears. She didn’t know who would be trying to find her and she didn’t care. She wanted to be alone. So she refused to face whoever it was.

  “He’s as miserable as you are, my foolish sister,” Catherine said bluntly as she rode up beside her.

  Ashlynn glanced in surprise at seeing her younger half-sister. “When did you get here?”

  “A short while ago.” She looked in resignation at Ashlynn. “Father sent me here since there was no need for me to stay in London. With the wedding called off…” She winced. “Sorry.”

  She sucked in a painful breath before saying, “No, I’m the one who is sorry. You had looked forward to spending time there and I ruined it for you.”

  The pretty redhead shook her head. “Truthfully, I’m glad to be back here. Daniel and Braden grouch around…whenever they’re not out carousing with their rakehell friends. Abigail stays in her room far too much, working on her needlework. She’s such a deadly dull person.” Again she flinched. “Sorry, I know she’s your twin.”

  Ashlynn gave her a weak smile. “Yes, but I, too, see her as more than a bit boring to be around.” She thought for a second before adding, “But I think it is something of an act. Though I don’t know why I believe so.”

  ‘Hmmm, you might be right. I’ve noticed some puzzling things about her now and then. I just haven’t given it much thought.” She stroked the neck of the slightly smaller horse she sat on. “Back to my first statement... your duke is as miserable as you appear.”

  Her heart pinched and she whispered painfully, “Blaine Wellingsworth is not my duke.” She glanced away. “I’m certain that you have just seen his anger with me.”

  “In truth, I haven’t seen him at all,” Catherine countered. “But I’ve overheard Braden and Daniel talking about him. They ran into him at White’s recently and he told them he was going to his estate in Oxfordshire. He said he didn’t plan to return to London anytime soon, if ever.”

  Ashlynn frowned at that. “But he has duties there, friends.”

  Catherine gently played with her horse’s mane. “Evidently he has lost interest in everything and everyone there. He mourns for you.”

  “Mourns for me?” she asked in confusion. “I would think him happy to be rid of me.” Still, the idea that maybe he actually missed her warmed her.

  “Braden said it. He tried to tell Father that His Grace admitted that he still wanted you for his wife. But Father refused to believe him, He said it was only the duke’s wounded pride talking.”

  Catherine scowled and looked down the hill at the sprawling stone house. “I believe it is Father’s pride that has been bruised most by all of this. That and he frets because he now believes he should have left you in America,
like you so badly wanted. He fears you will never be able to forgive him for what he tried to force upon you.”

  Ashlynn stared down at her father’s ancestral home. She’d spent a great deal of time in his library, the one room of the more than fifty rooms that seemed to comfort her. She sat in his chair behind the elegantly carved mahogany desk and almost felt as if he were there with her. So few times in her life had he actually been nearby. So few times had he embraced her, even seriously talked with her. He had never seemed to understand her. Her disdain for needlework or other pursuits he considered womanly perplexed him. As did her love for spending endless hours outside helping her mother in the gardens, riding, or even just sitting beneath a tree and simply observing nature around her. She didn’t fit what he expected. But she’d loved him anyway. And then he’d sent her away to this place far from her family.

  “It is hard to see that he feels as you say.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “I have not seen him or heard a word from him in all this time.”

  Catherine reached over to gently pat her arm, drawing her to look at her sister. “He regrets what he did in sending you here. But he still thinks it the best choice for you, considering the rumors still racing around London. He feels he is protecting you.”

  Ashlynn drew in a steadying breath, knowing she would have to think over all that her sister had told her. For now she wished to forget all the pain, all the regrets. She forced a smile and a look of challenge. “Race you to the river.” With that she flicked the reins and let her horse run as he had been longing to do.

  Chapter Eight

  Why had he come here to Hampshire? Blaine had planned to go to Oxfordshire, but changed his mind at the last minute. Too many of his peers and friends would have expected him to go there, as he’d told Braden he would. He’d wanted to be alone, away from them all. In spite of what Braden had told him, he had believed it best to let Ashlynn go. He suffered both a bruised ego and a wounded heart. He’d hoped coming here would give him time to heal.

  But he hadn’t.

  He stared out the window of his second floor bedroom overlooking the sprawling, elegantly manicured back acreage. There had been a time when he truly enjoyed staying here for brief visits, even considered making it his main residence. Today it held little appeal. But then nowhere and nothing appealed to him of late. He hated feeling so depressed, so unable to deal with anything in his life. Even his servants here avoided him as much as possible and he didn’t blame them.

  “You have callers, Your Grace,” Sterling, his butler stated from behind him.

  He started in surprise, but didn’t even bother to turn around. “Send them away.”

  “You do not even wish to know who they are?” Sterling pressed, sounding displeased. “They have travelled far to speak with you.”

  Blaine sighed. The much older man went well beyond what other servants would dare, but he’d been a part of the Wellingsworth households for more years than he had even lived. And the man was right. He hadn’t been raised to be so rude to visitors.

  “Very well, I will meet them in the drawing room. See that they are served some type of refreshment while they are waiting.” He faced Sterling, noticed a strange look in the man’s eyes before he nodded and turned to leave.

  He opened his mouth to call after him and ask who the visitors were, and then changed his mind. He would find out soon enough. But he couldn’t imagine who would travel far to see him these days. Surely word had spread throughout London that he wasn’t fit company, which he couldn’t deny. He wasn’t even fit company for himself. Still, he was more than a bit curious about his visitors.

  ***

  She wasn’t staying here another day. Ashlynn had returned from her afternoon ride five days ago to discover that Catherine had left Payton House. Her youngest sister had convinced their father’s steward—a formidable man in charge of the domestic staff and the coachmen—to take her and her lady’s maid back to London. At least that’s what her own maid had told her, although she was a little uncertain about some of the details. She wasn’t quite sure how Catherine had managed it, but the minx could be persuasive. Well, she was weary of being exiled here, too. A month was more than enough to be shunned by one and all.

  “Regina, we are leaving today.” She swiveled on the stool in front of the dressing table in her bedroom to face the startled maid.

  The young woman her own age heaved a sigh. “Might I ask where we are going?”

  She understood the poor woman’s hesitance; after all, she’d gone on the disastrous adventure with her to the docks. And essentially she’d been banished here as well with Ashlynn because she hadn’t been able to stop her mistress. But, for the most part, they had become friends, although Regina was far more reluctant to do anything inappropriate. She was fairly certain her maid wasn’t going to like this new adventure either.

  Putting on her most reassuring smile, she said, “We are headed for Oxfordshire, for Wellingsworth House.”

  If the stubborn duke wasn’t going to come see her, she was going to see him. Her reputation was already ruined, so a visit to see him couldn’t possibly make her situation worse. She intended to confront him and find out once and for all if there could ever be anything between them. That is, if he could get past what the ton approved of or disapproved of. She needed to do this, find out if she really had destroyed any possible chance for happiness with him. Because she truly thought she might love him.

  Regina paled and said uneasily, “Are you sure, Lady Ashlynn? Are you not in… in enough trouble with your father?” She worried her lower lip a second before adding, “Do you really want to make it worse?”

  “If you do not feel comfortable going with me, I shall go alone. But I am going!”

  She’d thought about how her father would react when he found out, which he would. She didn’t care. He’d all but written her out of his life anyway, having still not tried to contact her in any manner. So his eventual huffing and puffing—and possible discipline—didn’t worry her. Besides, he hadn’t even punished her as she’d expected after the incident at Blaine’s house in London. In the carriage that awful day, he’d threatened to wear out her bottom with the strop, but he hadn’t. In a way, though, she would have rather he’d done it and forgiven her, so they could put the matter behind them. Instead his abandonment of her hurt far worse, a hurt that she feared would never heal.

  Shoulders slumping for a second, Regina studied the floor, clearly thinking. Then she raised her chin and determination flashed in her eyes. “I will be going with you.”

  Ashlynn smiled as relief filled her. “Then you may see about packing our clothing and other necessities. I do not believe we should take everything, merely enough to last for at least a week or so.”

  “Will we,” Regina hesitated. “Will we be returning here? Or going to Braden’s home in London? Or…” She worried her hands in the sides of her long skirt. “Wherever you choose, My Lady, trust that I will go as well.”

  “You are far more than my maid, Regina. You are a good friend.” She blinked back tears of pride at her servant’s loyalty, considering how much trouble she’d gotten her into. “At this point, I honestly do not know where we will end up. I just know that I cannot stay here any longer.”

  Regina gave her an appreciative look. “I am proud to be your friend. It is a rare gift you have given me.” She added a weak smile. “You want to mend this rift between you and the Duke of Ashcroft. Mayhap you would like to—”

  “One tiny step at a time. First I wish to see if he will even speak with me. He might not.” Her stomach roiled with uncertainty. She had already caused him so much grief, so much embarrassment. What she was about to do might just be the biggest mistake she would ever make. Yet…

  She motioned her maid away. “Go now. See to our preparations.” She stood, drew in a steadying breath. “I must go and convince Father’s steward to allow us to leave in one of the carriages. Catherine, evidently, was able to sway the man into l
etting her leave Payton House. Surely I can be as persuasive as she, at least I hope so.”

  ***

  “She has left here? Without you knowing about it?” Edmond all but shouted at his sons, glowering. He had come down to join what remained of his family for breakfast after arriving back at Braden’s house last night. When he’d asked why Abigail was taking so long to come down this morning, one of the kitchen maids had informed him that she had left four days ago while his sons had been away at a mutual friend’s estate outside of town for nearly a week.

  Braden slumped into a chair at the long table, rubbing at his forehead, obviously suffering from a night of drinking too much. “Who exactly are you referring to, Father?” Then he looked up, eyes widened, and he stiffened. “Bloody Hell, are you talking about Abigail?”

  Before Edmond could answer, Daniel glanced up from where he sat at the table, nibbling on a roll covered with jam. “Abigail is missing?” he all but bellowed the question.

  Edmond nodded, giving each of his sons disapproving glances. “I left you two in charge of watching after my daughter—your sister—and you have gravely let me down.” He heaved a frustrated breath. “While you were out carousing with your friends, she left. Four days ago! Good God.”

  “Four days ago?” Braden questioned, sounding disbelieving.

  All Edmond could do was nod in confirmation. He was so upset with his sons.

  “Apparently the only sister I have who causes no trouble is Catherine. And that is only because she is off in Devonshire.”

  “In Devonshire because she was cast off with Ashlynn,” Daniel growled. He’d made his displeasure clear with how Edmond had sent his oldest twin sister away in shame. They had said little more than two words since he had personally put her in the carriage to leave here. And his younger son was threatening to go after her and take them both back to America.