It's Always the Duke: Historical Regency Romance

by Lisa Campell

  “You finally come. I was hoping you would.”

  Edward understood her meaning. He wondered how much she knew. How much Caroline had told her.

  “I should have, a long time ago… I was…”

  Lady Trudy shook her head. “You owe me no explanation, nor any apology. It is someone else who needs to hear them. She wouldn’t say a word to her Father or I of what happened. However, we reckoned that something must have gone wrong.”

  Lady Trudy paused to take a good look at him. “You look worse for the wear, yourself. Good. I am happy to know that she isn’t the only one who has been miserable.”

  Edward had known she would be, but hearing the confirmation sent a knife through his heart and he despised himself anew, if only a little.

  “I wish I could take back everything I did,” he said, his voice a broken whisper.

  Lady Trudy was quick to wave him off with her hand. “Regret is but a useless thought. What is past is past. What is to come is undecided. What we have is now. Whatever you make of it is what will shape the morrow! Best to make amends whilst you can and move on to a beautiful future, leaving the past where it should always be, behind.”

  She paused as she palmed his face. “I watched you grow, so in a way, you’re like a son to me. I know you care for her as much as she cares for you. Beyond that, you are in love with each other! It is useless to waste a life too short by being apart from the very one you should be holding close.”

  All of her words sank deep into Edward’s heart, and he knew he would heed the wisdom in them.

  “Where is she?” he asked.

  “Out in the village, at the orphanage where she volunteers.”

  Edward’s brow furrowed and his eyes widened slightly in surprise. “An orphanage?”

  Lady Trudy nodded. “She cares for the children as though they were her own. She was so sad when she first arrived, but since she started going to the orphanage, she has been so much happier. Those children, they do something good for her soul.”

  Edward’s fears rose again, threatening to make him take to his heels, running in the way he had come.

  Children. She loves children. I’ll never be able to give her what she wants.

  Thankfully, he was quick to chide himself. He was never going to run again, never going to push her away. He would lay himself bare before her and she would make the choice.

  Whatever it was, he would respect it. Nonetheless, he hoped she would choose him, choose them. It was too much to ask, considering what he had put her through, he was aware. He hoped, regardless.

  “Thank you, Lady Trudy. Let the viscount know I shall say a proper hello when I return.”

  Lady Trudy’s response was a small laugh. “My brother is away on a short trip to Southwell. He will be back on the morrow. Worry not.”

  Edward was relieved to hear this.

  Saying nothing more, he turned to leave, walking as fast as his legs could carry him until he got to the stables. Quickly, he had a horse saddled for him.

  He mounted in one try and began his ride for the orphanage.

  About half an hour later, he arrived. As he brought the horse to a slow trot, he began to look around, searching for her. There were children all about, and quite a number of adults watching over them.

  I’m sure she’s here somewhere.

  He only had to look more closely, and if he didn’t find her, he would find someone who knew her whereabouts.

  This was the thought on his mind as he did another sweep. He would have missed her the second time but for her bonnet, which had been blown off by the wind, revealing long golden locks just as his gaze almost passed her.

  He froze in place, unable to tear his gaze away from her—not wanting to. Standing there, about fifty feet away from him, she looked so utterly beautiful he was rendered breathless.

  Edward didn’t notice the man that had been by her side until he returned with her bonnet in hand. He watched, his body growing taut when Caroline smiled up at him.

  She murmured something as she accepted the bonnet. Edward surmised it was a thank you.

  Flawlessly, she wore the bonnet once again, tucking her mane into it.

  The other man said something and she laughed. The kind of laughter she hadn’t given him in a while. A really long while.

  Edward’s stomach churned. His chest grew tight and there was a gnawing pain in his heart. He knew it was envy. However, there was something else, too… anger.

  Why should I be angry? I asked her to live as a free woman, after all. So what if she has found another man to care for?

  It hurt too much to think. Yet, if it was the truth, he was aware it only served him right. He would have chased her into the arms of another man.

  No. My Caroline isn’t like that. She wouldn’t…

  He remained where he was atop his horse, watching them for a while longer. They remained totally oblivious of his presence and he wondered if it was because they were so taken with each other.

  They seemed close. However, they didn’t seem like they were anything more than friends. The man maintained a good distance from her and they both kept their hands to themselves.

  Still, they wouldn’t stop laughing. What if he was simply in denial?

  Aware that he couldn’t take any more, he decided to return to the estate. Eventually, she would return home. They would speak then.

  I never should have ridden here.

  Still, he could hardly fault himself. He had simply been eager to see her again.

  Adjusting his hold on the reins, he kicked the sides of the horse softly and turned it around.

  It means nothing, he continued to tell himself. Alas, no matter how many times he repeated those words, his heart wouldn’t stop aching.

  At the very least, he was managing to breathe.

  Edward was lost in thought as he rode slowly back to the manor. So much so that he almost hit a little boy playing mindlessly with a kite. Thankful that he had seen the child just in time, he quickly pulled in the reins, bringing to horse to a stop.

  The child realized what had almost happened then and turned to face him, wide-eyed.

  For a long moment, neither of them moved or said anything.

  Then suddenly, Edward jumped down from the horse, marched to him and took him in his hands.

  “Are you alright? Do you feel hurt anywhere?” he inquired, frantic.

  The boy shook his head. “No, milord.”

  Edward heard him but he still took his time searching for signs of injury. He only let himself breathe when he was certain there was none.

  Overwhelmed, he fought the urge to embrace the child.

  “I am so sorry, little mister. You must forgive me. I almost didn’t see you in time.”

  The child lifted his shoulder in a small shrug. “It’s alright. I’m not hurt. See… your horse is all the waaayy there and I’m all the waaayy here.”

  A chuckle broke free from Edward’s lips. The child chuckled too, and his beautiful, soft laughter warmed Edward’s heart. Strangely, it seemed to numb some of the ache he had been feeling.

  Once again, he was awed by the innocence of children. It was little wonder Caroline had continued to come here. In a way, he could now understand.

  “What’s your name, lad?” Edward didn’t even know why he was asking.

  “James,” the boy answered happily.

  “James? James what?”

  The child shook his head. “Just James. It’s the only name that was sewn into my wool jacket when they found me.”

  “Found you?”

  “Yes. Mrs. Cleaver says I was dropped in a warm basket just outside of the orphanage. Just like baby Moses! If I hadn’t already been given a name, she would have called me that.”

  Edward’s heart broke. Many wished they could have children. Others who were blessed with them chose to abandon them. Still, he could not fault the child’s parents. They must have had their reasons.

  It would be wrong to judge so ha
stily.

  “How old are you, James?”

  He didn’t look like he could be a day over eight summers. He was a bright lad, though. A very happy one as well. He also looked properly fed and well taken care of.

  This pleased Edward. Whoever cared for the orphanage was doing great work.

  The boy raised his hands and counted seven fingers. “Seven summers! Soon, I’ll be ten!”

  Edward couldn’t help laughing as he ruffled the child’s blond hair. It reminded him of Caroline.

  “That you will be. Seven summers… my word. You’re already a young man, aren’t you? And here I was thinking you were naught but a boy.”

  James’s response was a happy giggle. “Lady Brandon begs to differ. She says I will become a young man when I am five-and-ten. Until them, I am only a child.”

  Lady Brandon. She has kept my name.

  It meant more to Edward than he wanted to admit.

  “She said so, eh? Who are you going to listen to then? A lady or a gentleman whose honor is his word?”

  James seemed to think about it for a moment. Suddenly, he chimed, “The lady!”

  Edward feigned surprise. “Truly? Whatever for? How could you choose a lady over your own?”

  James wouldn’t stop smiling. “Because Lady Brandon gives me biscuits often and she comes to play with us every day!”

  “Ah, I see. So, say if I did the same, you would believe me then?”

  James shook his head.

  “What? Why?” Edward asked again.

  There was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he answered, “Just because she’s Lady Brandon! I want to be a little boy for a while longer so she can keep playing with me.”

  Edward knew he was entirely smitten by the child. Even more so because he could see the clear adoration in the lad’s eyes for Caroline. He wondered if it was the same with all of the other children, or if James simply nursed a special fondness for her.

  “She’s got you wrapped around her fingers, hasn’t she? Never worry, pal, we are in the same boat. She’s done the same to me.”

  For the first time, James frowned. “You know Lady Brandon?”

  Edward nodded. “Yes, I’m her husband.”

  The boy couldn’t be any more excited if he had been giving a basket of biscuits. He would have run off, telling the whole world that he had met Lady Brandon’s husband, if Edward hadn’t drawn his attention to the kite again.

  They played with the kite for a short while before he finally took his leave.

  As he rode away, Edward couldn’t shake off the feeling that before nightfall, the entire orphanage would have found out about Lady Brandon’s husband.

  For some reason, he liked that. He liked that very much.

  Chapter Thirty

  Lady Brandon, I met your husband!

  Those words rang in Caroline’s ears as she made her way back to the manor. Every time she caught herself riding harder than usual, she tried to slow down.

  She shouldn’t be so eager to see him, but she was. She needed to confirm for herself that he was truly in Yorkshire and had truly come to the orphanage to see her.

  Why hadn’t he come to me?

  If he had ridden all that way, the least he could have done was make his presence known before taking off. She had so many questions.

  What was he doing in Yorkshire? Had something happened? Or was he simply visiting his uncle and aunty? Could she hope that he had come for her?

  She could have sworn she had felt his presence in the orphanage. The hair on the back of her neck had stood as though someone was watching her.

  Then, a gust of wind had blown, causing her bonnet to fall. She had been distracted for a moment, even more so when Mr. Wright had returned with the hat.

  She had thought it was him, had wanted to look over her shoulders to confirm. That brief moment of wonder had made her feel very foolish, for it meant she was still a long way from weaning her heart off him. That she still hoped—contrary to what she tried to make herself believe—that he would find his way back to her.

  Eventually, she had chided herself, believing it impossible that he would ever come to Yorkshire. Not after sending her away so cruelly. So, she had kept her head in place, only paying attention to Mr. Wright.

  So then imagine her surprise when James had told her he had met with Edward, even spoke with him.

  Yes, it could have been anyone else, but why would they tell such a lie, pretending to be her husband? To what end?

  Beyond that, James, bless his bright mind, had given descriptions of the man he had met. They had fit Edward’s features correctly.

  Mrs. Cleavers had told her to go home right away once she heard word of it. Knowing that refusing would have raised brows and caused rumors, Caroline had graciously accepted.

  Why would he come now? After months of silence?

  He hadn’t even written to her. Well, she hadn’t written to him either, but she had been protecting her pride. What was his excuse? He hadn’t cared to know how she fared.

  Yet, suddenly, he was in Yorkshire?

  She was almost certain he hadn’t come for her.

  As she started to glimpse the manor from afar, her heart began to thud heavily in her chest. No, it wasn’t from the riding.

  By the time she finally arrived at the estate, her stomach had gone queasy. Her nerves wouldn’t stop wracking and she knew. She just knew he was indeed in that house. That he was waiting for her.

  “Ah! There you are!” Aunt Trudy chimed as she stepped inside. “I was surprised when you didn’t return with Brandon. Well, no matter. You are just in time for dinner today, thankfully. I suggest you go wash up and change into fresh clothing.”

  Caroline wanted to ask where he was, but she held herself back.

  What would knowing do? Would she go to him? Surely not. She had to continue to protect her pride. If he had truly returned to Yorkshire for her then he could do all the pursuing.

  She was done running after him or waiting for him to come to her. She would carry on as though she was unaware of his presence. For once, she would make him do all the work.

  With this in mind, she smiled at her aunt, dipping her head in a small bow.

  As she straightened, she headed straight for her chamber.

  She had just finished preparing for dinner when the clock struck six o’clock. Slowly, she found her way down to the dining hall. There, her aunt and Edward were already seated.

  Memories tickled her mind as she approached them, taking her back to London, to his townhouse and all the quiet meals they had shared.

  This will be one such and I shall be the one holding my words this time.

  Finally, she reached the table and he rose to his feet.

  “Caroline,” he greeted, holding his hand out for hers.

  Ignoring it, she sank in to a shallow curtsy. “Your grace,” she answered.

  Realizing what had happened, he withdrew his hand, folding it behind him.

  “Have you been well?” he asked after clearing his throat.

  Caroline smirked at the irony. “Are you asking for the past two months? If so, yes. I have been very well. Have you?”

  She wouldn’t hold his gaze. She wouldn’t even look his way. She feared if her eyes met those blue ones, her resolve would crumble and she would be at his mercy once again.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  Nodding, she began to take her seat. He was behind her in an instant, pulling out the chair for her.

  She didn’t realize when she drew in a sharp breath. It had been so long since she had been so near him. It made her want to fall in to his arms and let herself be held.

  She held onto her resolve, nonetheless.

  When she finally sat and he left her side, she released a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding.

  “I see Rachel outdid herself today,” she commented as she took in the array of meals spread out before them.

  Aunt Trudy smiled. “That she did. You know how s
he gets when we have guests.”

  Caroline nodded. “That I do. They all look delicious.”

  “Then we must feast before they get any colder.”

  Upon Aunt Trudy’s words, they began to eat.

  The silence rang loud, almost hurting Caroline’s ears. Anyone could tell that something was amiss. Even the ambience was thick with tension.