by Ali Parker
The crowd went wild. Emily moved down out of the stands and waved toward the door, connecting with Jacob no doubt. How badly I wanted a passionate relationship like she and Jacob were sure to have, but I didn't even know where to begin. I'd long given up on having a deep relationship with anyone. Women were shallow in my opinion, or maybe that was the lie I told myself to keep from caring too much.
"Give it up for the Providence Dance Crew!"
I moved back and pressed my back to the far wall of the gym as Aubrey's team started their routine. It was the perfect time to relax and find Tasha. I was surprised to lock gazes with her as I leaned forward and smiled.
She shook her head like I was a joker and a half and turned to talk to a pretty black girl beside her.
"That Deja?" I turned back to Clayton.
"Oh yeah. Man, if that girl doesn't marry me, I might as well hang my hat up. I'm totally lost to her. She transferred in over the summer, like that new cat in your fraternity house."
I'd never heard any of the guys talk about wanting to hook up with a girl for life. Especially none of the basketball guys.
"You guys dating?" I pressed my back to the wall again and scanned the crowds, enjoying the energy in the room as the dancers finished up and the cheerleaders moved into place.
"Nope. I wish I had the balls to ask her. She's mean as shit." He chuckled. "I'll figure it out eventually."
"You're a senior, Clay. Get your ass in gear." I glanced up at him and popped him in the stomach.
"Yeah, I know." He shrugged. "My momma brought my granny in here tonight. Look at her up there dancing like it's the nineteen-fifties."
I followed the direction of his finger and laughed loudly when my eyes landed on a little blue-haired African-American woman who was dancing her heart out.
"Oh man, that's awesome. I sure as hell hope I'm loving life when I'm that old."
"Right? She's always been a baller. I need some of her courage to go ask Deja out." He sighed and leaned back against the wall next to me. "You dating that spunky point guard yet?"
"Who? Tasha?" I tried not to show the shock that pumped through my veins. Had I made it obvious to everyone but her that I was into her?
"Yep." He glanced down at me. "We all know, dude. You forced us to go to the girls games all last year. Don't think we didn't know why. Team building. Please."
"You guys didn't put up much of a fight, did you?" I straightened my shoulders as the music stopped and the announcer informed the crowd that he would be announcing the women’s basketball team first and then the men’s. We'd do a jog around the outer circle before doing a warm up routine with some drills to show off a little. The end of our show was me dunking the ball, which no one could believe I was capable of because of being just under six foot, but I could hit it every time.
"Nope. You ready to show these people that white boys can jump too?" He snorted and popped me in the side.
"Yep. Should be fun." I scanned the crowd, looking for my parents, but not putting too much hope into any of it. They hadn't been at one game since I started playing at seven years old. They sure as fuck weren't showing up now. "How far did your folks drive?"
"Couple of hours. Why? Yours finally show up for something?"
"Nope." I rolled my shoulders. "It's all good. They're busy making their millions. I'm sure if I had a nanny when I was growing up, then she would be here, but they were too expensive. You know how it goes."
"That's fucked up, man." He patted my back. "You can share my momma and granny with me."
"Deal. Don't tell anyone that we're not brothers though." I winked at him and turned to watch the girls prance across the floor. Natasha was in the lead, dribbling the ball like a pro. She spun around and dribbled between her legs, behind her back and showed off in high style. I loved every minute of it. I had a different routine, but I knew without a doubt that I was going to have to mimic hers, just to grab her attention and tease her a little.
Why I wanted to goad her into playing a game with me was beyond me, and probably one of the stupidest things I could have desired, but it gave me a hard-on just thinking about it. Of course the fantasy always ended with me on my back on the court and her working me with vigor, but it was possible. Anything was possible with enough courage to make it happen.
"You ready?" Clay popped my back once more.
"Yep. You scared?"
"Like a mother fucker. You?"
"Yep. I'm thinking I might shit myself." I moved out into the front of the group as they called my name over the loud speakers.
"First up tonight, and leading his team for Midnight Madness is Junior, Micah Sanders. Give a big Providence cheer for our Friars Men’s Basketball Captain. Undefeated for the last two years and Micah tells me that he's going to bring it home again this year."
The crowd went wild as I lifted my hands and caught the basketball that was launched at me. I chuckled as I locked eyes with Natasha as she stood on the far end of the court with the other girls. They were lined up, hands on their hips as if throwing attitude toward us.
The music cranked up and I moved through Tasha's routine with efficiency, using my left hand instead of my right just for fun. I'd pulled off the bandages just to keep from having to answer any questions, but I would be using my right hand for the finale. There was no way to dunk and not put pressure on my wrist, but it was testing time. I prayed like hell that I could complete the shot and not have to be worried about the season starting up and me sitting my ass on the bench.
"No, you didn't," she called out to me as I got a little closer.
"Of course I did." I winked at her and let my eyes drag across her sexy little body. "Come show me up."
I wasn't myself on the court... or maybe the cocky bastard I became every time I put on my jersey was the real me and the good boy act was just that. Naw... I was both guys and always would be.
"You asked for it." She jogged past me and stole the ball as the crowd went nuts.
I turned and lifted my hands, catching another ball as the girls moved to the other side of the court and started to run drills. My team moved through our passes as the announcer read various accolades from our previous season and went through the schedule of who we would be playing against to kick off the fall season.
My eyes moved up to the stands again, scanning in hopes of maybe just missing my folks. I wasn't sure why I kept hoping that they would show up for something - just once - but I couldn't help myself. I turned to face my teammates and chucked the ball to Clayton as he moved to the middle of the circle and did a sick-ass routine with the ball and a bit of break dancing. He finished it by shooting a three-pointer as the crowd began to chant his name.
It was the perfect way to start the season. Everyone involved in the basketball organization was there as well as the support groups. Everyone was honored and pumped up for what was sure to be the best season we would ever have... or so they led us to believe.
I moved back and positioned myself for the pass Clayton would make behind his back. My dunk was coming up, and where I expected to be nervous, I wasn't. My friends were in the stands, bouncing around and laughing together, living life in a way that made me jealous. Lucas had his arms around Aubrey and Jacob had his around Em. I wanted a relationship like that.
I glanced back to find Natasha standing with her back almost pressed to mine.
"Hey, baby. What's yo name?"
"You'd like to know." She bumped my butt with hers and caught the ball thrown to her with ease. "You wanted to show me up... my turn for paybacks."
"No fucking way." I caught my ball and took off toward the goal, turning and passing to Clayton before stepping off of one of the other guys’ locked hands. I caught the ball in the air as Clayton passed it back and spun, gripping the rim and sinking the ball into the net.
I laughed so hard tears blurred my vision as Natasha hung from the other rim, swinging and laughing. I'd never seen her so relaxed, so full of warmth. It radiated all the way throu
gh me and I realized I didn't need courage. A rejection from her would just be a point to rebound off of and try again. She was the girl for me. Now all I needed to do was convince her of it.
I dropped to the floor as the crowd stood to their feet and the music started up again. People piled from the stands and danced around in the center of the floor as the administration tried to get everyone to hush for a few minutes.
"I know everyone wants to parrrrrrrrrtay, but if we could stop where we are. Our President of Providence has a few things to say and then we'll crank up the music."
I moved toward Tasha not caring much about the party. I wanted to congratulate my counterpart for her sick dunk. She'd been practicing just to show me up. I loved it.
Chapter 8
Natasha
The look on Micah's face when I lifted up with Deja's help and dunked the ball was so far beyond priceless. I couldn't remember too many other times in my life that felt as good as having him lock eyes with me and laugh until he cried. I dropped down to the floor and gave various team members high-fives as the announcer tried to gain control of the crowd and failed miserably.
Why in the world they didn't have Dr. Barrington start out the festivities with his speech was beyond me. It would have been quiet and everyone would have been chill, but now, the place was a madhouse.
"Hey. Good job, you tricky thing." Micah turned me and smiled down at me as he held onto my forearm.
"How's the hand?" I glanced down to see that his wrap was gone. "All better?"
"Not yet, but I'm almost there. A little more rehab and I should be good to go." His eyes moved across my face, leaving me struggling to catch my breath. He was insanely beautiful, his big green eyes filled with excitement and his dark hair was curled at the edges and wet with sweat.
"And yet you still dunked it like a champ." I pulled my hand from his slowly and crossed my arms over my chest as Dr. Barrington's voice filled up the arena.
"You going to the after party?" He moved up beside me and pressed his shoulder against mine as we turned our attention toward the podium they rolled in.
"I'm not sure yet." I glanced up at him as butterflies danced around my stomach and lodged themselves in my chest.
"I hope you do." He pushed at my shoulder with his and smiled before nodding toward Dr. Barrington. "Pay attention. Set the example."
I snorted. "This coming from the guy that just mimicked the girl’s routine. Great example."
"Made you smile, didn't it?"
"Yeah." I nodded and couldn't help but cheese it up a little more. "It sure did."
"Student, faculty, players, family and friends. It's with great honor that I get to say an opening prayer over these kiddos and over this opening season. We're excited here at Providence University, and I know for a fact that this is going to be our best playing season ever. Everyone in the administration is proud of you guys and knows that you'll not only go on to do great things within your chosen athletic paths, but in your career paths as well."
My heart was racing, and I wasn't sure if I'd overdone it with my routine or if having Micah so close made it hard to get ahold of myself, but either way... I was struggling to calm down.
"Before we begin, let's make sure to keep Dr. Delilah McCraven in our prayers and our thoughts. She's been out for a little less than a month undergoing some personal things and I know her dance team misses her. We taped the performance tonight and will make sure she gets a copy of it."
My stomach turned sour as I shifted to my left and caught a glimpse of Aubrey. The sadness on her face left me questioning what the hell was going on with my mother. Where we didn't get along in the slightest, I would never have wished ill on her.
"What's going on with your mom?" Micah leaned down to line up our vision.
"I don't know. We don't talk." I moved past him. "Excuse me."
"Tasha," he called after me softly, but I ignored him.
My mother hadn't been at Providence for a month? What the fuck was going on? Why hadn't she just been straight forward with me and told me that something was wrong? I didn't wanna deal with her during the summer when she wanted to talk and now I was being punished. This was the way it worked with her. It always had.
Fear turned into anger by the time I reached Aubrey.
"Can we talk?" I stopped in front of her as she gave me a sad smile and nodded toward the locker room.
"You bet. Let's go in there?"
"Yeah, sure." I moved through the crowd as the president of the university prayed over the teams and their success. Seemed like a stupid waste of time to pray for a basketball team to bring home the championship, but maybe I was a little jaded. "What's going on? You know I don't talk with my mom very often."
"I wish I knew." She sat down on the bench beside her and pulled at her tights. "She hasn't been in class for a month, and the associate professor we have sucks ass. I've been going behind her and redoing most of the routines. I wanted to ask you what was going on, but you don't seem to like the subject very much, and I didn't want to-"
"You don't know shit about what my mother put me through."
"I can only imagine." Aubrey stood and lifted her hands. "My mother is my worst enemy, so to say I understand would be an understatement."
"Whatever." I turned on my heel and walked toward the exit.
"Tasha. I'm not sure why you're upset with me, but I'm not the bad guy here."
"Who is?" I turned around as tears filled my eyes. "Me for not wanting to dance my fucking life away? Her for hating my father? You for being her favorite?"
"Natasha. That's not-"
"Save it." I turned and walked down the long hall that would lead to the exit. Aubrey didn't deserve my shit, but I had very little control over my anger at that point. Everything seemed to be closing in around me and where most people had a friend to reach out to and lean on. I had no one.
"And whose fucking fault is that?" I walked down the short path to the parking lot and got into my car, started it and pulled out without looking back. I didn't want anyone to come after me, least of all, perfect Aubrey Moore.
*
The large iron gate in front of my mother’s large house opened slowly as I typed in the code she'd let me pick when I was ten and we moved into the nice neighborhood. She'd finally gotten the job at Providence and our lives were changed for the better, or so it seemed.
Anxiety reared its ugly head deep inside of me, and by the time I parked the car in the circle drive, I was hyperventilating.
"Stop it," I cried out and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against the seat and trying to pull myself together. Why was this such a big deal? She was my mom. So we had our differences. So she didn't appreciate my choice in college to follow after my father's footsteps and play college ball. So she didn't understand me in the slightest.
She was still my mother and something was wrong. I'd never known her to ever miss work. She lived for her stupid job, or calling, as she would refer to it.
I got out of the car and took in slow, deep breaths through my nose as I gripped the side of the door. There was nothing she could tell me that I couldn't handle. If she was sick, I would help out. If something happened to my grandmother, I would help her figure it out. I hated her on so many levels for some of the shit she'd pulled when I needed her most back in high school, but I could move past that. I was reserved and withdrawn, but I wasn't a cold-hearted bitch. My feelings for Micah reminded me of that if nothing else.
"You got this. Stop being a baby and see what the hell is going on." I closed the door to the car and walked toward the front door on shaky legs. Glancing down, I let out a growl. I should have changed clothes. Coming to her house still dressed in my basketball outfit was as good as spitting in her face. She hated my father and anything that reminded her of him... namely me.
I knocked a few times and started to pace around the small space in front of the door. After realizing that she wasn't going to come to the door, I tried the handle to fin
d it locked.
"Why is nothing easy? Fuck." I grumbled a few more curse words and walked around to the back door, popping the lock on the fence that protected the backyard from God knows what. I moved to the back patio and stopped by the back door as the flood light illuminated around me and filled up the backyard.
I could barely make out her form as she sat in her favorite chair, the TV light the only light in the room with her. She was slumped over and wrapped up in a blanket that was far too big for the time of year.
"How are you cold?" I tried the handle and found it locked. "Of course."
After lifting to my toes and getting the key, I carefully unlocked the door, put the key back in the exact spot it was supposed to be in and crept into the house. The smell of cherry and pine filled my senses and took me back to a childhood I didn't want to remember.
All we had was each other and yet it was never enough.
I let out a soft sigh and walked into the living room. The chair across from her was empty, but as I made my way to it, I realized something was all over the floor around her? Hair?
"What the fuck?" I whispered and bent down, wondering if she got a dog after I left and just didn't say anything. I gathered up large clumps of hair and realized quickly whose it was. Hers. "Mom?"
She jerked up and pulled her blanket close as I stood and let the hair fall from my fingers.
"Mom. What the hell is going on?" I moved around to face her and took a step back.
"Go away. I'm fine. I'll get through this like I get through everything else." Her voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper. Fuck me if my eyes didn't fill with tears.
"What's going on? I'm not going anywhere until you tell me where you've been." I glanced down at the floor around her. "Did you shave your head? Are you sick?"
"Can you just get me a glass of water?" She coughed softly, and I realized how pale she was. My mother had never been anything but a pillar of strength, an elitist with a scowl on her face and condemnation on her tongue.
