Playing the Field: A Diamonds and Dugouts Novel
Page 14
Chapter Fifteen
* * *
THE MOON WAS bright and full when they settled on the front porch with their wine. Sonny tucked her bare feet underneath her on the padded chair and took a sip. Nerves danced along her skin as she contemplated how best to broach the topic. JP had settled next to her, his long muscular legs outstretched before him, wineglass in his hand.
Crickets sang in the grass nearby and a slight breeze stirred the warm evening air. In the distance the howl of a coyote could just be made out, the sound very faint. Under the light of the full moon her front yard looked magical, the old mature trees sentries to a mystical land beyond the veil.
The neighbor kid that pitched in with the farm once in a while when she was in a pinch had milked the goats and put them away for the night before dark. Every so often she heard noise coming from the barn as they settled down with their kids for some sleep.
It contented her, the sounds of the country. And it gave her courage to speak. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about a few things, JP.”
The shortstop cradled the glass in a large hand. “Is that so?”
He was so calm and nonthreatening that she was able to continue. “I like you. A lot.”
He wiped his brow with his free hand. “Phew. That’s good to know. I was sweating that big time.”
Sonny batted a hand at him, smiling. “Oh shut up.” She took another sip of wine. “Seriously, JP.”
“I was being serious.”
He so wasn’t. “You’re not making this easy.”
JP leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Sorry. What’s on your mind, sunshine?”
When he called her that her insides went all mushy, but there was something she had to get off her chest. Something she just had to say.
“I hate that you’re a celebrity.”
The words came out on a quiet rush. As soon as they were out a weight seemed to lift from her, and she peeked at him through her lashes to gauge his reaction.
For a moment he didn’t speak. Instead he settled comfortably in his seat and took a sip of white wine. After what felt like a small eternity he lowered the glass to his knee. “I suspected so. It’s not something I can change, Sonny.”
She knew that, but as irrational as it was she still wished he could. “I’m not sure I’m up for it in the long run, JP. I need my privacy. I’m not okay with people poking around my or my son’s personal business. I’m worried about what it could do to him in the long run.” Maybe if she had a different past she wouldn’t feel that way. “I’m not sure how to resolve it. I just know that it’s there and it isn’t budging.”
“Give it time to see how it settles out, Sonny. Can you do that for me?”
Could she?
His amber eyes were filled with warmth and patience and her heart squeezed tight. Yeah, she could give it time. She smiled briefly. “Sure, JP. I can do that. But there’re also some things about me that I need to tell you. Things you need to know so that you can choose what to do once you have the information.”
He placed a reassuring hand on top of hers and squeezed. “Spill it, woman. Tell me what’s so important.”
Okay. Humph. Where did she start? “I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m terrible at relationships.”
“I recall something of that sort, yeah.”
“You grew up with both parents who loved you and guided you into adulthood, providing you with a healthy foundation to spring from, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”
This was the hard part. “I didn’t have that. At all. My dad split when I was super young and then my mom did right after. She dumped me here, on this very porch in the middle of the day. Literally, she shoved me onto it, rang the doorbell, and left me with a letter for my grandmother to read.”
JP squeezed her hand. “That sucks, Sonny. I’m sorry.”
She waved him off. She needed to get it all out. “My grandmother didn’t want me and I spent my childhood lost and troubled. I met Charlie’s dad when I was nineteen and saw him as a way to escape. Only it turned out bad, real fast. With him, I thought I could compensate for all the love I’d needed growing up but never got.” She gave him a look. “You can imagine how well that worked out.”
JP’s gaze was full of sympathy. “I can, yeah.”
“The one time he hit me was the day I left.” She had never said that out loud to anyone before besides her old therapist.
“Fucker.”
Yeah.
Sonny inhaled and then blurt out the awful truth. “I’ve only been in a relationship with one other guy since him and that was a total wreck. Once I let a guy get close this thing happens to me, and I become super insecure and distrustful, and then I run away.” Well, that wasn’t the whole truth. “Or, I get so wrapped up in myself that I push the person away, before they can leave me.”
“Why are you telling me this, Sonny?”
Didn’t he get it? “Because I’m crazy!” she blurted out. “I’m falling for you and I want to be with you and I’m terrified that I’m going to do the same things to you that I’ve done in the past and I’m just going to wreck every goddamn thing.” She ended with a slump of her shoulders, feeling dejected.
JP sat his glass on the concrete and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Listen to me, Sonny. You got dealt a shitty hand and it gave you baggage. I accept that. Nobody is perfect.”
She stared at him through wide, watery eyes. “But what if I ruin everything?”
His gaze was dark with swirling emotion. “Then I’m not who I think I am.”
What was that supposed to mean? “Wouldn’t you rather have a relationship that’s simple and uncomplicated without all the messed up backstory? Somebody who doesn’t care that you’re famous and that everybody wants up in your grill?” She ended with a slight smile, trying to be funny.
He grinned back and shrugged his broad shoulders. “Simple is for wussies.”
“But—” she started to protest and he cut her off by putting his hand over her mouth.
“Enough worrying. At some point you have to just let go and let yourself experience. You have to let life happen. It’s not all bad.”
He was right. Absolutely, one hundred percent right. But there was still this one tiny thing.
She broke eye contact. “I don’t want to get hurt.” Her heart still echoed with the pains of the past. When she kept herself closeted away and out of arm’s reach it didn’t hurt so bad. And nobody knew, because she didn’t say anything.
Everybody thought that she had it together. The truth was that she kept it together because she didn’t have a choice. And they all respected her resolve to keep single and put Charlie at the front of everything. She said it was for him—that she was protecting him.
The truth was she was trying to protect herself.
JP caressed her cheek. “Look at me.” She looked. “I can’t promise you that I’ll never hurt you, Sonny. I’m a jackass sometimes. But I can promise you that I wouldn’t have stepped into your life if I didn’t intend to be here for a long time. I would never do that to you and Charlie.”
It wasn’t fair of her to ask for more than that. She knew there was no solid gold guarantee. And with him sitting there looking at her with eyes so honest and true she felt the need for one drop away. In her heart she knew that they were in good hands with JP. However things turned out.
Sonny also knew that if things turned sour it would be her doing, not his. And no, she didn’t trust herself.
But she found that she trusted JP.
For now that was enough. “I think we should go inside.”
Confusion clouded his eyes. “Am I leaving?”
Sonny stood and walked barefoot to the door. Pulling the screen open, she turned the knob on the heavy oak door and tossed him a smile full of suggestion over her shoulder. “Not any time soon.”
“Then . . .” He shot out of his seat as the implication hit him. “Coming.”
Sonny laughed. “That’s the idea.”
JP’s mouth dropped open briefly and he said, his voice filled with appreciation, “Look at you, Sonny Miller, talking dirty.”
She arched a brow at him, feeling saucy all of a sudden. “Want me to stop?”
He shook his head vehemently. “Hell no.”
“Okay then.” With that she left him standing on the porch in the moonlight.
She’d taken one step in the door when a strong arm wrapped tight around her waist and pulled her backward. Off balance, she fell against his hard sculpted chest.
“I have a better idea.” JP whispered against her ear.
Better than what? Beds were for sleeping and for sex, weren’t they? That’s where she was headed.
But it wasn’t where he was going. JP backed her off the porch into the grass where the moonlight spilled silver over them both.
SONNY HAD NEVER looked more beautiful to him than she did at that moment. Her skin was luminous in the pale light of the moon, her eyes deep pools swimming with emotion. Her body was rigid as she tried to keep it all under control.
Telling him about her past must have been hard. JP knew that he was lucky to have grown up in a stable, loving family. It seemed to become more and more of a rarity in the modern age. But he had, and because of it he had a good head on his shoulders, a solid sense of self-worth, and a profound love for family. To him, commitment wasn’t a thing to fear. All he needed was to find the right woman.
And she was standing in front of him with big round eyes that were wells of mystery in the moonlight, biting her bottom lip.
As he raised his hand to place it on her neck just below her ear to pull her in for a kiss, he heard a loud rustling sound in the old maple tree next to them. Startled, Sonny whipped her head around as her body tensed.
JP looked into the branches and reached out, pulling her back snug against him. He pointed to a branch close to them and said, “It’s an owl. Do you see it right there on the third branch up on this side?” The bird was big too.
She tipped her head back against his shoulder and looked up. The large night creature observed them silently. After a few minutes of watchfulness the owl spread its wings wide and took to the sky. All that could be heard was the soft whoosh whoosh of wings flapping, disturbing the quiet air.
After it was gone and the night was calm once again, Sonny rested her head against his shoulder and said, “Some Native American cultures believe that the owl represents wisdom and the mystical.”
JP hugged her close. “Does that mean that what we’re doing right now is wise and magical?”
A sexy little hum sounded in her throat. “Could be.”
Running his hands over her hips, he kissed her temple and murmured against her hair, “I’ll take that.”
Since the moment he’d seen her at the charity event he’d thought about what it would be like to be right here with Sonny, to have her willing and open and ready for that next step. And now here they were, standing together on a balmy summer night under the stars about to make love. He knew it was a gamble with her feelings about him. But it was one that he was willing to make.
JP wanted to remember this always. To remember how she’d felt in his arms, her body warm and pliant for him.
Anticipation hummed along his veins, stirred his blood. While they stood there he grew almost painfully aware of her the shape of her body, the curves that pressed against him. The way her ass rounded and pushed back against him had him growing hard with need.
It was time.
JP let his hands roam her body, slowly exploring the sinuous shape of her. Her breathing became less steady, more erratic, punctuating the silence of night. The sound urged him on and he became bolder, his hands more demanding.
Stroking up her rib cage until he felt the plump weight of her breasts, he turned his hands over until they covered her, eliciting from her a soft gasp. Her nipples puckered tight against his palms. Rolling them gently, he reveled when she arched into him.
Her hands had moved to his thighs and were stroking him lightly, her ass pushing back against him. When he rocked his hard-on into her she moaned and turned her head into his neck, her breath hot on his skin. Her tongue slipped out, tasting him so tentatively, and his cock jerked, going rigid.
“You make me feel things, JP.” Her voice had gone husky with arousal.
Good.
Desire permeated him and made his heart start pounding. Herskin, was all he could think. He needed to feel her skin against him. JP found the hem of her tank top and skimmed his hands underneath. Her skin was erotic silk against his fingertips, and he moaned softly.
He came to the barrier of her bikini top, and shoved the triangles of fabric to the side, impatient to have her breasts bare in his hands. They sprang free and he filled his palms with them, arousal nipping at him, urging him to simply take.
Sonny gasped and drew him down for a wet, open-mouthed kiss. Inhibition no longer a barrier holding her back, she thrust her breasts into his palms and dove her fingers into his hair. Wanting more, JP streaked a hand down her stomach and didn’t stop until he was cupping her through her shorts. He found her hot and moist there and he thrust gently, teasingly against her until his cock was throbbing in time to the rhythm.
He kept up the sensual assault until she was so turned on her moans had taken on a desperate edge.
Needing to see her, all of her, naked in the moonlight, JP released her and slipped her tank top over her head. Then he removed the rest of her clothing and when she was wearing nothing but silver-tipped skin he turned her around to face him.
“You’re beautiful,” he breathed.
His lungs seized up tight as he took her in, his heart thundering in his chest. Sonny was perfection, and having her stand before him clothed in only moonlight made emotions slam into him hard. Unable to take it anymore, JP yanked his shirt over his head and pulled her in for a deep, drugging kiss.
The air around them changed and became charged with sexual intensity. Like a live wire it sparked white hot between them and he groaned, his hands cupping the firm roundness of her bare cheeks. Her breasts against his chest nearly drove him mad with wanting her.
Tearing his mouth from hers, JP growled, “I thought I wanted slow with you, but I can’t. I need to be inside you, Sonny.” He squeezed her ass cheeks and pulled her even closer. “I need you.”
“God.” Her hands were on his shorts, fighting the zipper to free him. Victorious, she shoved fabric away until her hand was wrapped around him. Hunger ripped through him with violent force.
In an instant he had Sonny on her back in the sweet, fragrant grass. Her hair spilled over her shoulders like a goddess and he took her nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue over the hard peak. Slender hands dove into his hair and held his head to her. “Yes,” she moaned.
Teasing her with lips, teeth, and tongue, JP explored her body with a hand. When he came to the curls at the junction of her thighs, he slipped a finger along her slick folds and found her clit.
She cried out, “JP!”
But his finger wasn’t enough. He wanted to taste her.
Moving down her quivering body, JP kissed a moist path to her center. The heavy scent of her arousal went straight to his head and he stroked his tongue boldly over her. Sonny cried out and arched against him, her thighs shaking with need.
Again and again he lapped at her, emotion and desire a heady concoction inside him. Her breathing grew labored and she went taught as a bowstring, her body straining for him. Knowing that she wanted release, JP slipped a finger inside her and curled it until he found her G-spot.
Her back arched and she threw her head back, her fingernails digging sharply into his shoulders. “Oh God.”
JP kept up the erotic assault until she was panting and her body was trembling on the brink. He felt primal and raw, every instinct homed in on the woman writhing against his mouth. With every gasp and thrust of her hips, his need to make her come grew even
stronger, and he didn’t let up until she cried out in release.
Her body was still shaking with aftershocks when he grabbed a condom from his wallet and covered himself. Then he moved over her and in one thrust filled her completely. “Fuck,” he groaned. Sonny was so damn hot and wet he almost came. But then she drew her legs up and wrapped them around him, taking him deeper.
Words, so many words were on the tip of his tongue for her. So much he wanted to say. But then she was kissing him and he stopped thinking. Every thrust drove him closer and closer to the brink until he felt her tighten around him and she cried out in ecstasy. He couldn’t hold back any more, and he went over, his orgasm crashing through him like a tidal wave.
Nothing had ever felt better.
Chapter Sixteen
* * *
SONNY WOKE THE next morning alone in her bed. Sunlight streamed through the open windows in her room, signaling the beginning of a new day. Yawning, she rolled over and stretched luxuriously and immediately winced. Her body was tender in places that hadn’t been used in a very long time and her inner thighs were sore.
A huge grin split her face. God, it felt good.
Giving in to the urge, Sonny grabbed a pillow and squealed into it, damn near giddy with delight. Last night had been beyond amazing.
And she, Sonny Miller, was an extremely satisfied woman.
JP had made love to her two more times last night, bringing her to mind-blowing orgasms each and every time. No wonder she was feeling tender this morning.
But she wouldn’t trade it. Not for all the money in the world. He had made her feel things that she’d never felt before.
It had been hard to send him home, but it was the right thing to do. It was way too early for a sleepover where she’d have to explain to Charlie what he was doing there first thing in the morning.
A bubble of happiness wrapped around her heart. But maybe sometime soon. Who knew? The whole world seemed so full of possibility all of a sudden. Just a few short months ago there had been no one in her life. Now there was JP and she felt so much hope for the future.