Taunted Souls: A Friends to Lovers Romance

by Janice Ross

  Shay drifted as I’d told her to, straight toward my bumper.

  BOOM!

  The noise wasn’t too loud. Any damage to either of our cars would be handled. She knew I’d have her back. Always have. Always will.

  I hit the ground running toward the first guy and knocked him flat on his ass before the other three surrounded me. Without a second to think, I threw my all into laying them out one by one. I flipped and stomped and punched until I stood in the middle of their beat-down bodies.

  Instead of moving right along, sirens of police cars filled the parking lot and the day got ugly again. I threw up my hands, glanced into Shay’s ride to catch her eyes before looking up into the sky. This was the type of shit that only happened in movies, but this was my life. And like those overreaching scenes from the screens, I hoped to God I’d end up with the girl because unlucky guys like me never got happy endings in real life.

  FINALLY

  ——————————

  —————

  SHAYNA

  LUCAS AKINS WAS supposed to marry someone else. I’d prepared myself for that fact. But suddenly, BAM!

  “Yeah, we broke it off two weeks ago,” he said, but then paused to grab my hand. “Did you hear me, Shayna?”

  Did I hear him?

  Seriously?

  I didn’t say a word. I’d been avoiding him for the past two weeks, ever since that beach fiasco. Now here I stood; couldn’t stand still, so I walked away. Kind of wish there was more furniture in the room than two chairs, and neither were anywhere close to me. I couldn’t hide, even with the darkness. The above-ground basement felt cold. His words echoed in my mind.

  “That night at the beach—”

  “So what? Doesn’t have anything to do with me!” I had to convince myself that it shouldn’t matter one way or the other. Tried to turn and run, but my legs stopped taking orders. I stood there, weak and confused.

  “Erika was a mistake. Not like you and me. Our friendship, what we have, is everything. Has always been.”

  “Seriously, our five-year friendship is just a drop in the sea of a million memories.” I was always a friend, first, but fell back when he’d “found someone.”

  I didn’t want to care.

  It shouldn’t matter.

  Right?

  And suddenly, we were inches apart. His darkness called out to mine, and I hung on like a lovesick puppy.

  Who the hell was this girl? Not me!

  I didn’t fight him. Not this time. For the first time ever, I found myself easing up onto the tip of my toes and extending my arms along ripples of muscles packed underneath his tee shirt, then up and around his broad neck. My entire body shivered with a hidden craving I never wanted to own up to, especially to myself. But he was forcing me to.

  “Life means nothing without you,” he confessed. Kind of felt like he was reciting lyrics from a love song.

  “I’ve never fell for any of this shit,” I threw back at him. “Never . . .” At least, not before today.

  Let me make this clear. We’ve never come this close to being one. Our past has been filled with never: never kissed, never screwed, and definitely never crossed that line.

  Yet how could we have gotten here?

  One minute we were simply friends . . .

  And BAM!

  Who the hell was I kidding? Simply friends?

  Friends don’t cross that line! Neither of us made any attempts to pull back. Between the rushed breaths and groping, we’d flown past a line friends should never cross.

  “No, I can’t do this.” I ripped myself away from his arms but didn’t go too far.

  “Come here, Shayna.” In the darkness, his eyes sparkled.

  I mouthed but. Only air followed.

  I exhaled as he reached for and claimed me. Though gentle, there was no doubt about his feelings. All I was capable of feeling, knowing, seeing or tasting was now Lucas. I became lost in a fog, buried deep in a world that wanted to rub me out. Yet with him, I could no longer exist on my own. All of a sudden, he became my lifeline. I had to be able to dive into everything that was Lucas Akins.

  “What changed? Why now? Why today?” I asked.

  Why did I decide to give in after all these years? And why did Lucas decide to not be patient? He was fresh out of a relationship. I looked to him for an answer, an explanation.

  His lips remained shut.

  “Dammit, Lucas, answer me!” I wanted to scream at him. Wanted to punch and kick him. Hell, I wanted to go blow for blow with him because this entire situation had to be the worst type of shit ever. But instead, he only tried to hold me closer.

  Even as my nipples pressed to his chest and I felt the full strength of his desire for me beneath his pants, I considered how long I'd fought this inevitable fate.

  I tried. God knows I tried.

  I promise you, I tried not to inhale the rich cologne that had come to represent this ridiculous need. But it was beyond that. Every single sense perked up whenever he was near. Hell, forget about our proximity now, since there was no longer a distance.

  “Say something. Anything. Don’t just stand there,” I begged.

  “I need you,” he confessed in a deep and seductive tone. “I need you,” he repeated, clearly, concisely, commanding. Lucas’s tongue slid across his lips. I hung on to every unexpected move, every glorious sound, every sweet taste; nothing got away from me. He had me looped all the way in.

  I imagined the swiping of his tongue and could just about taste his tongue in my mouth. In my mind, the thrusts were strong. I could feel the force between my upper lips, lashing against the nipples of my 34-B cup breasts, and even inching up between my thighs.

  My murmured words echoed through my ears, “I want to do the right thing.”

  “This is the right thing,” he replied.

  “Of course, you’d say that.” I twisted my lips and let my eyelids fall shut.

  “People spend too much time fighting with the wrong things.” He caressed my lips with his thumb.

  I let him, unsure of right or wrong.

  He continued, “This isn’t wrong. I promise you, it’s not.”

  I nodded up and down, but then shook left to right. I know, I looked like a spazz, but Lucas did things like that to me. I opened my eyes. Looking into the darkness, I searched for an answer.

  It was like the portion of an old cartoon I once saw where the devil sat at one side on the shoulder and an angel the other. Except, this was real life!

  “Shayna, please . . .” Lucas begged in a way that cuddled me with every sound.

  I wanted to comfort him, so I reached up. His silky, chestnut cropped hair flowed through my fingers. I yanked. Not pulled or gently tugged. I wanted him more than a little.

  “This . . . This . . .” He reacted by burrowing his head against my neck.

  “Ahhh!” I cried and allowed my lids to drift shut again as Lucas’s firm hands gripped my ass.

  “I need you, every ounce of you.” He drew me up and into him. “Every drop of you.”

  Our mouths collided, and about two seconds later, our tongues locked. This wasn’t just passion, not with the way our tongues demanded absolutely everything of the other. There was a greedy type of exchange taking place. The hunger flowing between us was a killer. It could strip away our independence, making us completely dependent on each other.

  Here we were, two friends, clinging in a desperate embrace, while fondling and grappling for dear life. Only he and I existed. We’d fought long to avoid this inevitable fate, yet here we were.

  “But you’re just getting over . . . things.” That was the only way to describe his recent past.

  While it hurt to know I could crash in on someone else’s world this way, I didn’t know how to let him go now that the world was starting to make sense.

  “Getting over something that should’ve never happened.” His voice cracked. “I’m sorry. So sorry.” He leaned in again and kissed me.

 
; My eyes stung like hell. The tears wanted to pour out from me, but I couldn’t let them. I squeezed as long as possible, until tiny drops began trickling down my cheeks. All this as I continued to take in the wild thrusts of Lucas’s tongue inside of my mouth.

  “We shouldn’t . . .” I somehow managed to mumble against his mouth, but our hunger overpowered all objections. The tears continued to burn at my eyes; I badly wanted to cry for every instance where I’d refused to accept the truth. My insides ached with a yearning to get away from and give in to him all at once.

  “I need you,” Lucas kinda whispered.

  “Need me?” These weren’t our words; this topic was not one for platonic friends with nothing more than respect and dedication.

  “Shit, no! To hell with need. Love!” He was beyond angry. I held the anger, making it penetrate my mind. I couldn’t allow his confession to control me.

  But love?

  I gasped, but still didn’t let go. Tried willing my body to step away, turn and run. I had to forget that I’d ever craved a man named Lucas Akins. But sadly, the commands became mute, weak attempts. Touching Lucas, digging my fingernails into his defined biceps didn’t help. Inhaling his essence—the scent that marked his strength—only reminded me that our energies had first connected years ago.

  “Lu-cas,” I fumbled out as the syllables ricocheted back at me. Damn! Simply saying his name had me ready to explode. “No . . .” I cried out and let the tears flow. I shook my head, while trying to arch away. My body didn't give a damn about following orders. I wiggled my waist; I felt horrible and confused, but didn’t give two shits. I only wanted . . . needed him to feel me.

  I was beyond a mess. I choked at the thought of me. Yes, me, Shayna Davies, shoving my shitty life on some guy. So I let up and pulled back as much as I could. His arms wouldn’t allow it. He groped, squeezing like I was no longer a want, but instead air for survival.

  “This isn’t right. You just ended things and, besides, you guys still live together.”

  “I’m not that guy, Shayna. The wedding is off. The relationship is over. One door has closed . . .”

  “Another has opened?” Why should I walk through it, except for the fact that I was fucking falling apart over this man!

  “Don’t you see? I did the right thing.” Lucas was a bit too confident, but I can’t admit to hating him for it. And as I tossed this idea around in my mind, he snatched me. “Shay, it’s always been you. I went to her because of you. You broke my heart! You rejected me! You made me believe I wasn’t good enough for you.”

  My throat was constricted. The tears piled up, ready to escape down my face.

  “When can I have you?” he shouted, every single word wrapped around my body and made goose bumps slide over my skin.

  I bit my lip in response. For five years, I didn’t think I was worthy. But if I admit it out loud, then he’d see past the fake facade.

  “I’m not doing a friendship with you, Shay. I’m over that.” This time, there was no harsh command in his voice as he said, “Just let me have you, beautiful. Let me love you. Let me make you mine for the rest of your life and I swear, I’ll protect you from anything that might ever try to steal your happiness.”

  My entire body could’ve collapsed right then, right there.

  Did I fight?

  Sadly, no. I was too weak. I needed to be pried away, to convince myself once more that my future was in danger. “Lucas,” I began in a whisper. Sparks of energy swept over me as I tried like hell to be strong. “I’m scared to believe in anything.”

  “Believe in me. In us.” He was inches away from me. Either one of us could’ve—

  No, Shay! Enough!

  In the midst of this moral fight, I wiggled beneath him. Lucas had no choice but to break the hold and lower me to the ground. For a brief second I felt bare, like I’d been stripped down to nothing. And that quickly, without an explanation, I hopped back up. I went from chilly, to warm, and finally hot within two seconds.

  My head spun, so much so that as I plopped on the ground again. I needed to lean back into him. My head pressed against his chest. His heartbeat penetrated the side of my face. I hung onto the fast pace, desperate to feel beyond his cotton tee. His arms drew me in, forcing me to only rely on this human shelter. It wasn’t that he was a large, overly muscular guy or anything. Lucas’s arms were cut, but it was enough to be desirable, less overbearing.

  He exhaled, jolting me back to this reality. No, we weren’t in a utopian society. No, I wasn’t his. No, he . . . he couldn’t be mine.

  “What are we . . .” I paused on purpose. My throat became swollen over a failed attempt to fight back anymore tears.

  When I’d first met Lucas, I’d fallen fast. But life had taught me to play it safe—forget about relationships while I got my shit together. Sadly, I haven’t gotten my shit together yet. Seems like an eternal process when you’re constantly in defense mode. That’s me, my life.

  Then I have constant reminders. In the words of my man-hating mother: “The young ones are full of fun and the old ones are full of shit, so get your life in order before you take on any shitty fun.” Growing up, I never gave much thought to Mom’s so-called words of wisdom, but upon entering undergrad after my move up north, I’d decided to make the most of my education. I never imagined I would've become good friends with, much less fallen in love with someone so amazing.

  Seriously though, who ends up in the smallest state in the continental US to meet the man of their dreams?

  Under any other circumstance, how would we have met? At twenty-nine, Lucas was five years older than me. He wasn’t originally from Delaware. I believe he grew up in the Midwest or somewhere. But one night when he’d literally caught me from falling into the Chesapeake Bay, I can see how we might’ve fallen. Moreover, as I looked back over the years, I see how we might’ve created this little world, one where we made choices based on our friendship. A friendship that seemed to shatter when he got involved with her.

  Thinking back to my mother’s words and the first encounter with Lucas, I felt the sting of tears once more. I shook my head—as if that would help dissolve the emotions.

  “You’re in my system, Shay.” He cleared his throat right after.

  The words punched at my heart. He had to know the feelings were mutual. Lucas was one of the good guys, and this had to be tearing him apart, but how in the world were we supposed to ignore what we’d started here today? And how would we forget what had almost happened with her?

  “Damn, Shayna!”

  “What the hell, Lucas, you think I’m not screwed up too?” Being this close reinforced the pain. Like the whole see-but-don’t-touch thing. Obviously we weren't too obedient as friends.

  —

  The outdoor lights began to shine in the distance. I saw a little better. It was getting late. I’d have to go soon.

  I spun around to take two gigantic steps away from my weakness. When I refocused, my eyes landed on his chest. I couldn’t bring myself to glance up at those perfect pink lips. Even in the dusty lighting, the gentleness of his lips would put me back under his spell.

  We were standing inside of the door. The outdoor temperature had reached a comfortable 70 degrees for mid-April, though the inside temperature had shot past 100. The walls were painted a dull eggshell shade, with subtle swirls of pastels from ceiling to floor. I wrapped my fingers over my bare upper arms as a chill coursed down my body. This as moisture sprang from my armpits.

  “What are we gonna do?” Lucas became a bit too calm. He shifted his legs apart, looking down at me and extending his chest. It was the type of stance that cried out come to me. I wanted to run, leap, and plunge into his arms.

  “I . . .” Deep breath, long pause. I placed my right palm to the top of my chest before nudging forward for effect. “Ummm . . . Lucas, you asked me to drop you home since your car was supposedly still in the shop. Now that you’re home, my mission is complete.”

  I would’ve spun
outside quicker than the speed of light but didn’t. I couldn’t trust myself to take a few steps past my weakness, toward certain freedom.

  “I love you, Shay.” Lucas moved forward, forcing me back and away from him. With each step he made, I equaled or doubled my own. I was only about five inches shorter than him, but we paced in sync. We floated across the open basement in something like a rehearsed waltz.

  The rhythm of my heart sped up so much that I had to clench my fists to steady the shaking. I even began nibbling on my lips, which was a habit I’d been trying to break since forever. Lucas’s hands reached out for me, as his fingers aimed for my mouth.

  My breath hitched and I bobbed back until I found myself cornered.

  When my shoulders finally touched a chilly wall, and I felt a flattening of my dark brown hair with layered blonde streaks, he didn’t stop. I stuck out my hands. He came at me until my palms rested against his gray tee shirt. My elbows bent while Lucas took our space down to nothing. His breath tussled strands of hair that were lying on my forehead. Each drift stripped away the barriers I’d used to protect my heart.

  Unlike in the passageway, there wasn’t any lighting. I squeezed my lashes shut to say a prayer for what might happen. In a moment of guilt, my lashes fluttered up as the words poured out. “Love me? Really, Lucas? How the hell can you love me when you just broke things off with someone else?”

  “You don’t think I can be in love with you?” His question turned low. He used an uncommonly even tone for the situation.

  “Wait a minute . . .” I pushed with all that was within me. There was some fraction of movement, though very little. In fact, it was Lucas that eventually let up. “Over the past five years, you didn’t once think to tell me that you loved me?”

  “Don’t turn this around on me, Shay. You always had something negative to say about men or relationships or anything to do with emotions.”

  “You couldn’t ask if I was interested? What about telling me you loved me before now? Before you asked some other woman to marry you?” Saying the words gave me the feel of a knife plunging into my heart. Just last month, he was supposed to marry someone else, even though he now claimed to love me. Ugh . . . Even though I loved him.