by Dale Mayer
But he’d never considered taking on a ready-made family until now.
He was being an idiot because there was no way in hell she was interested in him. Neither did he want to go down that road with her again.
There was a knock at the door. He bowed his head, knowing who it was. He briefly considered not opening and then realized that was just being foolish too.
He pulled it open and said, “Now what?”
Shit. He was being an ass.
She bit her bottom lip in a move that was causing a distraction. He reached out, cupped her chin and said, “Stop that.”
She glared at him. “And what if I don’t?”
A half laugh escaped. “If you don’t then I’d have to do this.”
He tugged her chin toward him then bent down and covered her lips with his own. When he pulled away, the absolute look of disbelief on her face made him smile.
“What’s the matter?” he teased. “Have you forgotten how to do that?”
She shot him an odd look, then added, “I haven’t forgotten anything.”
As the heat flashed between them she turned and walked back to her room, and it was her turn to slam the door.
He stood in the doorway in a state of shock of his own. What had she meant by that?
Chapter 12
“That’s a dangerous game you’re playing,” Ceci whispered to herself as she sat down in the chair. Tremors rippled through her body. What had happened to that nice complacent life she’d lived? After Jimmy died she’d been determined to stay single and just focus on raising her children. She had a clear purpose then. But since this mess? It was like she didn’t know who she was anymore.
And inside she was afraid all she’d been doing before was hiding.
Now it was like everything had been blown wide open.
What she was… She shouldn’t have this confusion over Brett, there shouldn’t be this heat… Not anymore. She’d walked away.
Passion had never been the issue between them. So what had been the problem? Still dressed in the bathrobe, her feet up on the coffee table, she mulled on the past. Just because he’d kissed her didn’t mean he wanted a relationship, and she couldn’t do anything less. Not with the children.
Besides, she wasn’t ready for that either. She might never be again. She had changed. Older, a widow, a mother. She viewed relationships differently.
As much as she’d enjoyed a lot of things about being married, what she hadn’t was her relationship with Jimmy. He’d said he wanted to be a father but he hadn’t. When he found out she was pregnant with Jennifer things became very difficult. She often wondered if he’d asked to be sent overseas. Anything to leave. That was just one of those little horrible fears inside that wouldn’t go away.
She closed her eyes and murmured, “Jimmy, what the hell happened to us?”
What she did know was if Jimmy hadn’t died they would probably be separated by now. A sad acknowledgment of her relationship. And part of the reason she feared she’d been hiding out instead of living. Was she happy to use any excuse to avoid getting involved again? Avoid making the wrong decision again. Avoid getting hurt again. Yet, was it really feasible to consider being alone for the rest of her life?
She’s a young, healthy female and didn’t the children need a father? She’d seen lots of single-parent families out in the world and some of them did really well. Others not so much. She didn’t want hers to fall in the “not so much” category.
She got up and wandered over to the closet looking to see if that magical selection of clothing would offer anything for her to sleep in for the night. There was a pair of pajama pants she paired with a T-shirt. When she was finally ready for bed she turned out the lights and snuggled in close to her children. Unbidden, tears came to her eyes. She’d do anything to keep them safe. She wrapped her arms around both, kissed each on the cheek and let herself slowly relax into sleep.
Just as she was about to drop off she thought she heard a ruckus outside. She bolted up from her bed, checked on the kids, saw they slept and raced to the window. It took her a moment to realize it was the dogs barking in the back corner.
She opened the patio doors and stepped out. The evening was balmy and warm, but as she watched men slide through the back fantasy garden, guns in hand, she realized the fantasy part was a mirage. That same hellish world existed beyond those secure gates.
And someone was trying to breach them.
So just how secure were they?
“It’s okay, Ceci. Go back to bed.”
She didn’t turn to face Brett, knowing he was on the identical patio just a few feet away. “Is it? Something’s bothering the dogs.”
“The men will handle it.”
Right. She didn’t want to know what that meant. With her arms tight around her chest, she turned to glance at him. Then gasped and spun back to stare out into the cool evening as heat flashed up and down her spine, awakening nerve endings from their dormant state. She’d forgotten what kind of physical shape he was in. Even before he’d become one of the elite, he’d been heavy into sports. He had bulkier muscles now, his body lean and so damn sexy. Dear God, where was her willpower? And why was this hitting her now? Stupid. She was more than a set of idiotic hormones.
She shook her head. “How the hell was it that you came to rescue me on the yacht?”
“Is there any reason it wouldn’t be me?”
She raised her gaze to the moonlight shining high above. “In all the years since we broke up it never crossed my mind I’d be in a situation needing your help.”
“My help was always there, but it wasn’t something you would accept.”
She pondered that. “Maybe. But it always seemed like your version of help was giving the solutions when I needed to find my own way.”
“Good enough. Did you find it?”
That was another one of those very important questions. Had she? No. She’d found part of it. But as she hadn’t shared so much back then it seemed pointless now to bring it up. Yet, her secret felt like a stumbling block to moving forward.
She shook her head. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. Deciding it was time to leave before the conversation got even more dangerous, she turned and headed toward the glass doors, calling out, “Have a good night.”
“I’d have a better night if I was with you,” he muttered softly in the evening air.
She froze in the middle of the doorway and turned to look at him. “Do you mean that?”
He glanced back at her. “What?” he asked brusquely. “You’ve always known how I feel about you. It should be no surprise now.”
He turned to gaze at the corner of the yard where the soldiers had converged.
“No,” she said forcibly. “I knew how you felt. I have no clue how you feel now. Why would you still care? I walked away years ago.”
He nodded. “Yes you did.”
The thought that he might still care for her was just a little too heartwarming to leave open like this. Scary too. But she’d made a lot of mistakes in her life. He was one. She didn’t want to repeat it. In a soft voice, she said, “Are you saying you still care?”
Silence.
Maybe that was a little too far. She waited, studying his impassive face – the cool night air brushing against her sensitized skin.
Finally, he shot her a shuttered look and said, “I just said that, didn’t I?”
Of course, the real question was how much did he care? But she wasn’t comfortable asking that. And apparently he wasn’t willing to add more either.
With something potentially starting between them, both unsure, each a little hesitant, she gave him a quick smile and said, “That might be nice.”
She went inside, closing the door firmly behind her.
*
“Nice?”
He shook his head at her as she disappeared from sight. What the hell did “nice” mean? He turned his attention back to the group in the far corner of the property. What was going on
? Deciding that action was better than inaction, he turned to his room, quickly dressed, and raced down to find out. If this had anything to do with Ceci he needed to know.
“Brett?”
Hearing Swede call from the left he quickly changed course. Swede was in the shadows keeping an eye on the situation.
“What’s happening?”
“Two armed men. Dogs brought them down.” Swede grinned darkly. “Bullard trained his dogs to sit and wait and when the enemy climbs over the fence they get them.”
“Isn’t the fence electrified?”
Swede’s grin widened. “Bullard shut it off so the men could enter.”
“Smart.” It also let him know if they were serious threats and not just scoping the place out. “It helps that Bullard also keeps fully armed men here.”
Swede studied his face. “You do know Bullard runs special assignments from this location, don’t you?”
“I knew he did something along those lines, but I wasn’t sure exactly what.”
Swede snorted. “Nobody knows exactly what.”
“Still, it’s nice to know there are options for later.” He didn’t specify what. Swede knew. It wasn’t something the men talked about, but with Levi and his unit forced to consider their future options it was on everyone’s mind. Ten years went by quick and that was about the max for SEALs. It was nice to know there were other things he could do to help the world out. There was always going to be a war somewhere.
“As long as one of those options isn’t going into the regular Navy then I’m good.” Swede slapped him on the shoulder and slipped around behind the trees. “Might be fun to go private. Less rules and regulations that way.”
Brett followed Swede through the path down to where the guard had two men pinned on the ground. Bullard’s crew pulled a balaclava off one of the men. Lights were shone in his face.
“Jesus,” Brett whispered.
Swede turned to look at him. “You know him?”
Brett shook his head. “Not know him. He and a woman passed me on the way up the stairs. They’d just shot three of the embassy people and the two men they’d left behind were trying to rape Amanda, who’s now in Bullard’s clinic.” The group glanced at each other and then back down at the man on the ground.
One of the men reached out and pulled the balaclava off the second. On cue everybody turned to look at Brett.
He nodded. “He was one of the two assholes attacking the woman.” With a change in his voice he added, “I guess I didn’t hit him hard enough.”
“Guys like this, just shoot them dead.”
Bullard’s team split into two groups with four men picking up the intruders and carrying them up to the house. The others set up positions around the yard watching.
Always watching.
Of course, Bullard had exceptionally trained people on his staff. When one had been the best, only the best would do again.
Swede nudged him. “Let’s go see what these guys are after.”
Brett fell into line beside him. “I don’t need to ask. I already know what they’re after.” With a sharp look he added, “They want Ceci and the kids.”
And they weren’t going to get them. Not while he was alive.
Chapter 13
She couldn’t sleep. Who could knowing something was happening outside? Frustrated and getting pissed off the longer she lay there waiting for sleep to come, she wondered what the chances were of being able to find out anything. Then again, she glanced over at the children, knowing she couldn’t leave them. There was nobody here to babysit, and she was not going to leave them alone in a strange place. If they woke up to find her gone they’d be devastated.
Not happening. She lay back down on the bed once again.
Heavy footsteps came down the hallway. She bolted for the door, opening it before she allowed herself to think. Sure enough it was Brett. Fully dressed once again. “What happened?”
“Why aren’t you asleep?”
She shot him a look. “Who can sleep with all that’s going on?” She tapped the floor impatiently. “And you aren’t answering me?”
“Two men from the embassy. One who passed me on the stairs and one I knocked out but not hard enough. Both are here.”
She gasped. “Oh my God. Are they after me?” she asked incredulously. “Why? Besides, how would they know where we are?”
At that he winced. “There might’ve been a GPS tracker on the truck.”
“What?” He was serious. “We led them right here to us?” This was too impossible.
He shrugged. “Can’t say searching for a tracker to disable was at the top of my mind. I was trying to get the three of you out of there safely.”
“Good Lord.” Of course, it wasn’t his fault. And he had rescued them from a horrible situation. But apparently that brought the assholes right here, and put everyone in danger. “I must apologize to Bullard.”
Brett laughed. “He’s probably opening a bottle of champagne. If things get too dull he gets bored.”
She grinned in relief. “Nice to know this is the right place for this kind of stuff because almost every other person I know would be completely freaked out.”
“He would never do that.”
“Your mom would,” she teased. The humor lightened the guilt slightly.
“Let’s not bring her into this. She gives me enough trouble these days.”
“She’s adorable,” Ceci said. “But I can imagine she’s a little demanding in her wishes.”
“You think?” But he smiled at her. “There had been just the two of us for so long that she figures it’s her right to meddle as I won’t have anybody else around to do it.” His grin widened. “She’s terrified I’m never going to get married.”
“Marriage isn’t all it’s made out to be,” she muttered.
“I imagine marriage is more about what you put into it. But I’ve never been there so who knows.” He shrugged as he walked past her to his bedroom. “Are the children still sleeping?”
“Yes.” She retreated into her room, hating this awkward dance of a new relationship. The uncertainty, the questions. It was one of the reasons she’d been happy to marry Jimmy. She’d wanted to find the “one” and settle down before she was too old and life passed her by.
That realization was a bitter pill to swallow.
“What’s wrong?” He stepped toward her and reached out to grasp her by the shoulders.
She shook him off. “Nothing, just a difficult realization.”
“Tell me.”
He didn’t ask, he demanded. But then maybe he had the right given the circumstances. That didn’t mean she wanted to share. “It’s really nothing. Just something I understand better about my actions now than back then.”
He waited, indomitable. “If it has something to do with me then I would really like to hear, please?”
She winced. She’d pretty well destroyed his life back then. Without giving him an explanation. “After you, I went through several short-term relationships looking for what would be a permanent one, and when I found Jimmy he seemed ready to settle down,” she said. “I jumped at it, not so much because I loved him but I was in love with the package. I wanted to be married, to start a family. But what I just realized is back then I figured, if I didn’t do something fast, I was going to miss that stage of life.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor. What the hell did she just do? That was such a stupid thing to tell him.
When he didn’t say anything for a few minutes she looked up and felt the impact of the shock even now.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “We never talked about marriage back then. I thought you weren’t ready.” He turned to face his door as if ready to leave. “You married Jimmy within six months of us breaking up because life was passing you by? How long did you even go out with him before you knew you were magically in love with this man?”
He knew when they got married? Of course his mother would’ve told him. Ceci
wasn’t very impressed with herself, but he was going to be even less so if he knew everything.
She took a deep breath. “I hadn’t realized how uprooted and insecure I felt. Something happened that made me want to run and hide for a while, then when I came out of my cocoon, I returned to living with a vengeance. Feeling like I was out of time, panicked that if I didn’t get married soon I’d miss that too. I’d just had a hard lesson on the fragility of life, the preciousness of good relationships and I really needed to take that step. Only I couldn’t explain why – not then at least.”
She walked into the hallway and started pacing. “The men I dated were all losers. When I met Jimmy, he seemed like the answer. He wanted to get married too. But toward the end…” her tone trailed off.
“You weren’t happy?”
She shook her head. “Not once Jimmy Junior came along. Jimmy was happy to be married, but he wasn’t about fatherhood. We started having major trouble when he found out I was pregnant with Jennifer. That really finished him. I’m pretty sure he asked to be sent overseas. As if death was better than his life.”
“I’m sorry. I hear what you’re saying but that was five or six years ago. I’m sure as you look back you can see there was no need to feel that note of desperation.”
She paced a little further and spun to see him. “I understand that now,” she admitted. “That was a realization I couldn’t figure out then, but I do know something else I haven’t told you.”
Dare she tell him? If she started a relationship with him again she wanted it based on honesty. She hadn’t been with him years ago, and she should have. It would have changed everything.
She took a deep breath and said, “If we’re being honest with each other, and I need to be if we’re looking at starting something,” she said. “Then I need to tell you the truth about back then. You aren’t going to want anything to do with me afterwards.”
“I sincerely doubt that.” He shook his head. “But if there is an explanation about why you broke up with me, I’d like to hear it.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor then slowly raised it to stare him in the face. “It’s going to be hard for you to understand. Hell, I didn’t for years.”
