Why I'm Not Afraid of Ghosts

by R. L. Stine

  Robbie squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t stand it!

  Crash!!!

  Dora let out a bone-shattering howl.

  Then—silence.

  Oh, no, Robbie thought. I don’t even want to know what happened.

  But he had to find out. Slowly, so slowly, he forced his eyes open.

  And immediately wished he hadn’t.

  Dora hovered beside him, her hands covering her mouth. She was trembling.

  Robbie glanced at the floor.

  Oh, no!

  The table must have crushed Shawn! Flattened him! Robbie couldn’t even see Shawn’s feet poking out. He must have been smashed right into the floor!

  This was terrible. Terrible!

  They never meant to kill anyone!

  Especially someone they weren’t even trying to haunt!

  “What have you done?” Robbie yelled at Dora. “Why didn’t you stop?”

  “Why didn’t you help me?” Dora wailed.

  “Help you!” Robbie cried. “You never want me to help you! You always think you can do everything!”

  “I know,” Dora whimpered. “I thought—but I couldn’t—it was just too much all of a sudden—

  “All of a sudden,” Robbie moaned. “Why did you drop the boys and then the table? Why didn’t you drop the table first?”

  “Don’t you think I wish I thought of that?” Dora cried, her hands shaking. “Oh, Robbie. This is so horrible!”

  Robbie hovered over Oliver. Oliver lay crumpled on the floor, his eyes closed. Robbie floated down beside Oliver and knelt next to him.

  Was he dead too?

  What were they going to do now?

  Neither Robbie nor Dora had enough energy left to lift a feather.

  What if Oliver were still alive but needed a doctor?

  They couldn’t even call an ambulance!

  And Shawn—no! Robbie didn’t even want to think about that.

  Robbie sat back on his heels and shook his hands.

  He was so panicked, he didn’t know what to do!

  Oliver groaned.

  He was alive!

  Robbie heaved a huge sigh of relief.

  At least one of them was alive!

  * * *

  “Oh, my head!” Oliver groaned, and sat up. His brain felt scrambled. He peered around.

  Rain streaked down the windowpanes. The house was dark except for a couple of living room lights.

  Why was the coffee table upside down on the floor?

  Oliver rubbed the back of his head. He felt a bump swelling up like an egg just in back of his right ear.

  “Ouch,” he muttered.

  Checkers littered the rug near him. A big pottery mug lay on its side, with a long splash of hot chocolate leading from its mouth across the carpet toward the fireplace.

  And the stupid coffee table was upside down!

  What happened here? His brain felt slow and sticky.

  “Shawn?” Oliver called. Where was Shawn?

  He stared at the coffee table.

  His stomach clenched.

  A foggy wisp of white showed above the bottom of the upside-down table.

  Oliver swallowed.

  The wisp drifted higher. It solidified into the top of someone’s head.

  White-blond hair.

  The head rose slowly out of the wood of the table.

  Pale blue eyes behind red-framed glasses stared right at Oliver.

  Oliver clutched his stomach with both hands.

  Oh, no. This was bad.

  The head rose even higher, followed by shoulders . . . and arms . . . and a torso . . . and the rest of a body.

  Oliver bit his lip. He couldn’t look away.

  This was really bad!

  Shawn sat there on the upside-down table, his legs crossed, his hands gripping his knees. He gazed at Oliver.

  Oliver stared back. Speechless.

  Whoa. No question about it.

  Shawn was a ghost.

  18

  “You—you’re a ghost,” Oliver whispered, staring at Shawn.

  Robbie grabbed Dora’s shoulders and shook her. “See what you did?” he screamed. “See what you did?”

  She looked dazed. Stunned. No smart comebacks this time!

  She killed a kid!

  Ghosts weren’t supposed to kill anybody. They were just supposed to scare people!

  What would happen to them now?

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for days,” Shawn told Oliver.

  Shawn became more and more solid as he sat there.

  “What?” Oliver asked in a faint voice.

  “I’m a ghost!”

  “What?” Oliver repeated in a louder voice.

  “What?” Robbie cried.

  “What!” Dora screamed.

  “I’m a ghost,” Shawn said very calmly. “I’ve been a ghost for a couple of years.”

  A couple of years!

  Robbie and Dora stared at each other.

  So Dora didn’t kill Shawn after all! He was a ghost already. Long before Robbie and Dora haunted Oliver.

  The table didn’t kill Shawn, Robbie realized. You can’t kill someone who is already dead!

  What a relief!

  Wait a second. Robbie’s eyes widened. If Shawn was a ghost, then he could see them. All the time. Even when they were invisible to humans.

  Robbie remembered Shawn snapping the comic book shut just when Robbie wanted to take a look at it.

  What a jerk!

  All this time Shawn had known exactly when they were around! And where they were!

  “Psssst!” Dora hissed. She beckoned to Robbie.

  He followed her into the wall. He edged up inside the wall until he was right behind a portrait of an old man. He peered out the picture’s eyes.

  Dora eased away. Probably to find her own peephole. Now they could listen without that ghost-intruder seeing them.

  “How can you be a ghost?” Oliver demanded. “I can see you. I can touch you. And you aren’t even a tiny bit scary.”

  Robbie held back a laugh.

  At least he and Dora weren’t the only ghosts having trouble with Oliver!

  “Watch this!” Shawn instructed Oliver. He winked out, then reappeared. He held up his hands, raised his eyebrows. “Should I do it again?”

  Oliver just sat there with a confused look on his face.

  Is he buying it? Robbie wondered. Is he starting to believe at last?

  “Or—how about this one?” Shawn rose and walked around behind the TV set. He bent over and disappeared.

  Suddenly his face was on the screen!

  He opened his mouth.

  Wide.

  Wider!

  So wide, it took up the whole screen, and Oliver was staring right down his throat!

  Shawn laughed!

  His spooky, echoing voice was so big, it filled up the whole living room.

  Inside the wall, Robbie shivered. He had never even tried laughing like that. It was pretty scary! Boy, those new ghosts knew how to do stuff old ghosts like Robbie never dreamed of.

  Then Shawn stuck his head right out of the TV and made a horrible face.

  His nose melted.

  His eyes dripped out of their sockets and oozed down his cheeks.

  Oozing eyeballs! Robbie bet he could figure that one out. It looked great!

  Shawn cackled, but now his voice was as dry as dust.

  Then he pulled his head back into the TV and vanished.

  A second later he jumped up, back to looking normal. Normal for Shawn, at least. “Get the picture?” he asked Oliver.

  “Uh . . .” Oliver still looked confused.

  “Admit it. Say it. Now do you believe in ghosts?” Shawn demanded.

  Oliver groaned. “I hit my head pretty hard.”

  “That explains why I can do this?” Shawn sank into the floor up to his waist.

  Oliver stared.

  “Huh? Does it?” Shawn asked.

  He
sank into the floor up to his neck, then stayed there, a head staring up from the rug at Oliver. “Does it?”

  “No.”

  “Go on. Say it. Say you believe in ghosts.”

  “Okay. Fine. I do believe in ghosts,” Oliver said. He looked stunned.

  Finally! thought Robbie.

  Finally Oliver caved!

  “Good,” Shawn said, popping up into the room again.

  Oliver bit his lip. “But—how did you—I mean, uh, how did you . . . die?”

  “It’s a long, horrible story. I don’t have time to talk about it right now,” Shawn replied. He sat down across from Oliver. “I have something more important to tell you. There are evil ghosts in this house, Oliver. I’ve seen them.”

  “Whaaat?” Dora cried from somewhere in the wall.

  He thinks we’re evil? Robbie wondered. Us?

  “You’re my friend. I wanted to warn you,” Shawn went on. “They’re trying to get you, Oliver. That’s why they made you fly around the room just now.”

  “What? What are you talking about?” Oliver asked.

  “What do you mean, what am I talking about?” Shawn looked exasperated. He waved his hands around his head. “Flying! You, me, the table, the checkers. Flying around the room! These ghosts are lunatics!”

  “Uh,” Oliver began to say, feeling the bump on his head. “I don’t remember anything about flying.”

  “What?” Robbie yelled before he could stop himself.

  “What?” Shawn squeaked.

  Oliver frowned. “I remember coming home from school. You coming to the door. Us setting up checkers. Then I woke up with a bump on my head, and you tell me you’re a ghost.” Oliver shook his head, then moaned, grabbing the bump. “Ouch! I still don’t know why the coffee table’s upside down.”

  Robbie clutched his head with both heads. All that work, all that trouble—for nothing!

  Robbie slid through the wall until he could grab Dora’s arm. “Come on,” he whispered. “Let’s go up to the attic.”

  She nodded.

  They floated upstairs.

  “I can’t believe it!” Robbie cried as soon as he was sure Shawn hadn’t followed them. “You majorly messed up! Again!”

  “Just shut up!” Dora snapped.

  “No! No! I never get to say this! You failed! You went to all that trouble, flew stuff around the room, almost killed Oliver, and he can’t even remember any of it! Oh, man!” Robbie paced back and forth, clenching and unclenching his fists.

  “This is the worst day of my entire afterlife,” Dora wailed.

  “That Oliver is the worst kid I’ve ever seen!” Robbie declared. He pounded his fist on the desk. Fury raced through him like fire.

  He paced to the window and then whirled.

  Dora stared at him.

  Well, maybe she should. Robbie couldn’t remember ever feeling so mad!

  “We’ve wasted one great scare after another on that kid!” he yelled. “Okay. That’s it. Now he knows about us. He’s been warned. No more games! Tonight we are going to work together. And we are going to scare Oliver Bowen to DEATH!”

  19

  Robbie perched on his old desk. He was still boiling inside. Dora slouched on the armchair, brooding.

  Full night darkened the sky.

  It took the ghosts a while to work their energy up to any strength at all.

  “This will be an all-out scare,” Robbie declared. “Everything we’re good at, all at the same time! My best howls, yowls, and chains.”

  “My best shrieks and groans!” Dora agreed. “And I’ll use these sheets.” She wandered over to a pile of old bedding. “We could start out wearing the sheets, looking like stupid ghosts in the comics, and then wrap him up in them!”

  “Yeah!” Robbie exclaimed. “Let’s wrap him up so only his head sticks out! Then, when he can’t move, you could do your skeleton dance!”

  “I will. I’ll do the skeleton dance. And what’s more, I’ll make that big Doberman fly!” Dora cried.

  “The Doberman. That’s right!” Robbie felt so excited, he banged into the ceiling. “Let’s use the pets. We’ll make the animals attack him! What could be scarier than having your own pets turn on you?”

  “I’ll handle the dog and the cat,” Dora decided. “You do the spider.”

  “I hate spiders,” Robbie objected.

  “You don’t have to touch it,” Dora said, sneering. “You just have to make it fly.”

  “That’s the same as touching it.”

  “Too bad! I called dibs on the dog and the cat first!”

  They stuck their tongues out—way out—at each other. Dora looked like a frog about to snap up a juicy fly.

  Dora rubbed her hands together. “Let’s do it up here,” she suggested. “He keeps bringing more stuff up here. And this is our best place. I’ll go get the pets.”

  “Do you think we’ll be ready to do it tonight?” Robbie worried.

  “I feel pretty strong,” said Dora. “Don’t you?”

  Robbie closed his eyes.

  Yes. He could feel strength flowing into him.

  This time it would work.

  * * *

  Robbie jumped up the moment he heard the footsteps on the attic stairs.

  Finally!

  It felt as if he and Dora had been waiting all night for Oliver to show up.

  Spooky was pretty restless. Thunder had curled up to sleep on the dresser, but the dog kept getting up and lunging toward the stairs.

  Robbie always managed to scare him back into the room, but it was tiring.

  Besides, what if the dog were hungry or thirsty? Robbie didn’t like to be mean to animals.

  But now, at last, Oliver was coming up the stairs.

  Spooky woofed a greeting.

  “Shhh,” Dora whispered to Robbie. They both melted into the walls.

  Oliver arrived at the top of the stairs carrying the terrarium with the tarantula in it.

  Perfect!

  Shawn followed him into the attic.

  Not so good!

  Shawn, that traitor ghost who sided with a dumb lifer.

  Robbie wasn’t sure what powers Shawn might have. So far he hadn’t done anything serious—except pretend to be human.

  What if he interfered with the Big Haunt?

  Oh, well. Why worry? It was too late to turn back now!

  Robbie joined his energy with Dora’s.

  He concentrated really hard. Up, he ordered silently.

  Their force was barely visible at first. Spooky’s ears poked up. Thunder’s tail twitched, then rose straight up.

  “Come on. Come on,” Robbie murmured. He didn’t dare glance at Dora—he couldn’t risk breaking their combined force.

  With a surge of energy, the cat and dog rose into the air.

  We did it! Robbie thought.

  The animals looked startled. The cat squirmed and screeched. The dog flailed its front paws, moaning in terror.

  The lid popped off the terrarium. The tarantula floated up into the air, all eight legs twitching.

  “Okay, now!” Robbie commanded. It tired him, but the struggling animals began to circle in the air.

  “Are you nuts?” Shawn yelled over the racket the dog and cat were making. “You crazy ghosts! Oliver, let’s get out of here!”

  The animals were kind of hard to control in the air. They kept squirming around.

  Oliver glanced at the flying animals. He didn’t seem bothered at all! He strolled over to the big mirror in the corner.

  What is he up to now? Robbie wondered. How can he possibly ignore pets in the air? Does this kid ever act normal?

  “Huh,” Oliver grunted. He stared at the mirror. He didn’t even pay attention to the animals circling over his head.

  What could Oliver be staring at? Robbie gazed into the mirror, forgetting to direct the animals. He could feel Dora’s concentration slipping too.

  The animals slowed and stopped high in the air.

  Robbi
e gasped as he hovered behind Oliver.

  Of course he didn’t see himself in the mirror—he was in invisible mode. That was normal.

  But there was no sign of Oliver either. And Oliver was standing right in front of the mirror.

  Oliver had no reflection!

  20

  Robbie stared at the blank mirror in total shock. He stared so hard, he forgot to concentrate on lifting.

  The animals dropped to the floor with a thud.

  Thunder and Spooky streaked down the attic stairs as though their tails were on fire!

  The tarantula scuttled over to hide under the desk.

  “I know you’ve been worried about those ghosts, and whether they can harm me, Shawn,” Oliver said over his shoulder. “But I assure you, that was never a problem.”

  He grinned, showing all his teeth.

  Including long, glistening fangs!

  Oliver spun around and stared directly at Dora and Robbie.

  “I see you ghosts,” he declared. “I’ve known about you all along. We vampires have the Sight.”

  Oh, no! Robbie couldn’t believe his eyes.

  How could this happen?

  Oliver took two steps toward Dora and Robbie.

  He was the scariest thing Robbie had ever seen!

  Oliver smiled. “I’ve been teasing you, pretending I didn’t notice you. I was forcing you to weaken yourselves. But now I’ve had enough fun and games!”

  Oliver licked his lips. His fangs glittered.

  “I’m going to drink now. I’m going to drink up the rest of your energy!”

  He gave a menacing laugh.

  Then he lunged for the ghosts.

  “Nooooooo!!” Dora and Robbie screamed, clutching each other.

  “Get me out of here!” Robbie shrieked.

  With a huge whoosh, he and Dora fled through the wall. Robbie vowed to never ever look back.

  * * *

  Still smiling, fangs gleaming, Oliver turned to Shawn.

  Shawn stared at him wide-eyed, without a single blink.

  Oliver took a step toward him.

  Shawn shrank back.

  “Wh-what are you going to do with me?” Shawn asked in a quavering voice.

  21

  Good question, Oliver thought. What should I do about Shawn?

  Before he could figure it out though, someone knocked on the door at the base of the attic stairs.