Torn

by Ashley Stambaugh

  The woman looked between her and Dean with big, round eyes. "I… I'm so sorry," she said in a shaky voice before hurrying away from them.

  Melina's breaths were now loud and heavy, and her body remained tense. She yanked her arm from Dean's grasp and turned her hard gaze on him. "Don't touch me." She swept her long brown waves away from her face and then stormed off down the sidewalk. Without even looking for oncoming cars, she headed across the street, and just as she stepped onto the curb on the other side, she collapsed.

  Her head hit the pavement hard, and the last thing she heard was Dean's voice yelling her name before everything faded to black.

  ****

  When Melina finally came to, there was a dull pain on the left side of her head, and she could hear voices all around her. Tessa's was the most prominent one as it was loud and nonstop, but she could also pick out Lee's soft and low tone. Maybe it was because his voice was the one she wanted to hear most. Her eyes fluttered open, and she instantly found him sitting in a chair next to her bed, watching her.

  "Hi," she mouthed as her lips pulled up into a smile.

  A look of relief washed over him, and he returned her smile as he stood from the chair and hurried over to her bedside. He knelt on the floor and grabbed her hand in his. "How do you feel?"

  The room fell silent as she raised her left hand up and gingerly touched the side of her head. "A bit groggy, and my head hurts."

  "You incurred a slight concussion, but I took care of that for you."

  She turned her head in the direction of the familiar voice and was pleasantly surprised to find Henry, her guardian angel, standing on the other side of her bed. He wasn’t able to take a human form, so his massive wings, above-average height, and overly-muscled build made him look out of place crammed into her small bedroom, but she was glad he was there.

  "Henry," she said with a smile. "Thank you for healing me."

  He gave her a small nod and then she glanced around the rest of the room. Walter, Tessa, and Dean were there, too. She gave them all a faint smile and then turned back to Henry.

  "I'm assuming you know what's going on with me?" she asked.

  He nodded. "Walter explained everything."

  "Do you remember what happened?" Walter asked as he took a step closer to the bed.

  "Well, I was out with Dean," she said as she gestured in his direction, "and we were walking down a sidewalk when…" Her gaze shifted down to the floor, and her brow creased as she tried to remember. A few seconds later, she inhaled sharply and her eyes widened as she looked up at Dean. "I had a vision after running into that woman."

  Dean nodded in confirmation.

  "But it didn't last long," she said as she returned her focus to the floor, trying to recall the details. "My entire body felt like it was on fire again, and it forced me out of the vision. Then the next thing I knew, I was filled with all this anger and wanted to hurt the woman."

  Her eyes flicked up to meet Dean's again. "I would've hurt her if you hadn't stopped me. And," she paused to swallow then continued in a shaky voice, "then I lashed out at you and took off across the street. I had just made it over to the other side when those terrible feelings finally left me, but how they left was different this time. Before, they had seemed to fade away. But this time it felt as if something had pushed them out, and it was very forceful. It left me feeling so weak that I just collapsed. And then I woke up here. How did I get here?" She looked at Dean first and then around at all the others.

  "Dean called to me for help," said Walter. "I showed up as soon as I could, and since carrying you back to your Jeep would've only caused suspicion, I teleported us all back here."

  "What about—"

  "Your Jeep?" Walter asked, picking up on her thoughts. "Lee and Tessa went to retrieve it for you earlier. It's parked out back."

  She gave a small nod and then ran her fingers over the left side of her head again. Henry said he had healed her, but it was still tender.

  As if he were reading her mind, Henry suddenly spoke up. "I was able to completely heal the gash on your head, but your skull was bruised pretty badly. Healing bones isn't as easy as a flesh wound. The pain should fade away within a day or two."

  Melina nodded but her brow remained creased. "I didn't think you could heal all of the time."

  "Guardian angels can heal their charges when the wound is either life threatening or if it has a supernatural cause that would raise unwanted questions with a doctor. I'd say that your head injury would fall under the latter category, wouldn't you?"

  "Yeah, you're right," she said to Henry. "I'm not a good liar, so I'm not sure how I would've explained how I fell with such force to a doctor."

  She then turned to look at Walter. "What do you make of all this? Do you have any ideas why the anger seemed to last longer, or why I had the urge to be violent to that woman? And why did the feeling leave me so forcefully and cause me to collapse?"

  "I'm not sure about that last question," Walter said, "but as for the others… I think it may have been some type of reaction from the vision you had. The feelings and emotions you experienced in the vision… Were any of them painful or violent?"

  "No," Melina said as she shook her head. "The woman was sad and scared."

  "Hmm," said Walter. "Well there goes that theory."

  Melina lowered her head and sighed. Lee, who still had a hold of her hand, gave it a quick, comforting squeeze.

  "Hold on," said Dean. "You said the woman was sad and scared? I only felt that she was sad."

  Melina released Lee's hand and sat up on the bed. "You had the vision, too?"

  Dean nodded. "Yeah, but apparently not the full version that you had. It seems like you experience visions faster than me."

  She laid back against the headboard again and stared up at the ceiling. "It all just keeps pointing to the same thing—these powers developed too strong in me. I can hear people's thoughts from farther away than Dean can, and now I guess I can see visions faster than he does." She lowered her head. "What else could it be?"

  For a few moments, everyone was silent. Then suddenly, Dean spoke up. "Maybe your emotions are stronger than mine."

  Melina's brow furrowed as she looked up at Dean.

  "You know, the whole thing about how our human emotions can amplify the powers from time to time. Maybe your emotions were amplifying them more than mine were."

  "No," she said as she shook her head. "I know what it feels like to have the powers be amplified by emotions."

  She thought back to that moment in the park when she had been desperately trying to pull up her protective light shield to stop the demon from taking her soul and killing her. Fear and panic had overwhelmed her as she thought she was going to die, but then her will to live became so powerful that the feeling seemed to explode within her. And then her light shield had exploded out around her. She had not felt anything like that since then.

  She briefly shook her head again. "No. It has to be that my powers are just too strong. It's that or…" Her voice trailed off as she stared down at the floor, her body motionless.

  "Melina?" Tessa's voice piped up. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

  Melina had almost forgotten that her best friend was there since she had been uncharacteristically quiet through the whole conversation. But instead of answering Tessa, a blank stare remained on her face as an awful thought crept into her mind. Dean had said that his guiding angel had helped him to become a kinder and more caring person. No one had ever come to help her become a better person. Maybe that was the answer to her problems. Maybe that's why Dean had no complications or pain from his powers. And if that was true, then maybe the reason behind all of this was because she wasn't a good enough person. She didn't deserve the powers.

  Chapter Ten

  "I don't deserve the powers," she muttered out loud and then glanced around the room. Everyone was giving her a curious look. Walter and Dean had heard her thoughts, so they were probably trying to make sense of her rea
soning. Tessa, Lee, and Henry all needed a full explanation. She sat up in the bed again and cleared her throat.

  "It's something Dean told me earlier, about how he had absorbed his powers." She looked at Dean and thought, Do you mind if I tell them?

  He shook his head.

  Thank you. She turned back to Tessa and Lee. "He said that the guiding angel he absorbed the powers from was actually there to help him, and she helped him to become a better person." She paused for a moment and then looked over at Walter. "You weren't there to help me when I ran into you. No guiding angel has ever come to help me."

  "Isn't that a good thing?" asked Tessa. "It means you don't have any troubles or need guidance for anything."

  "Not necessarily," said Melina. "I think it just means that my troubles and insecurities aren't quite bad enough for a guiding angel to come help me." Her eyes moved over to meet Walter's. "Am I right?"

  "Yes, that can be the case sometimes," he answered.

  Melina nodded. "Maybe that's the difference between Dean and me. You know, why he doesn't experience pain anymore, but I still do. I think that maybe, deep down, I'm not a good enough person, so I don't deserve the powers."

  "Melina, I think you're being a little irrational," said Walter. "I highly doubt that you're not worthy enough to possess the powers."

  "How can you be so sure?" she asked. "Maybe these malicious feelings I'm having that seem to come out of nowhere are actually coming from deep inside me. It would make sense. I don't deserve the powers, so when I try to use them, those bad feelings that make me unworthy are gradually being brought to the surface little by little. Maybe that's also why I've suddenly felt like I'm losing control of my powers. When Dean and I were in the library, I started having trouble blocking out all the thoughts. And when we left, the thoughts didn't just gradually fade away like usual. I stopped hearing them all at once. It all makes sense."

  "That's a bit complex, though" said Lee. "Don't you think you might be overanalyzing it?"

  Melina shrugged. "At this point, I would take any explanation, as long as it was true. I just want an answer."

  "I'm sorry," she heard Walter whisper.

  When she turned her head in his direction he stared at her with eyes full of sorrow. A faint smile crossed her lips. She knew he and the other elders were trying their best, but she had a sinking feeling that it was going to be just like the time before. There wasn't going to be much they could do. It would all be up to her.

  ****

  Walter, Henry, Dean, and Tessa had all left, and now Melina and Lee were alone, sitting on her living room couch. "I'm so sorry I ruined our dinner date," she said.

  "All that matters is that you're all right." He leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "But who says it was ruined? I can make you something to eat right now, if you'd like."

  "I guess I do need to eat something," she said with a smile.

  "You sit tight right here then, and I'll go whip something up." He stood up from the couch and started toward the kitchen. "Anything particular that you'd like?" he asked over his shoulder.

  "Surprise me," said Melina as she leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes to rest.

  She must've dozed off because the next thing she knew, Lee was calling out her name and gently shaking her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and saw that he was crouched down in front of her.

  "I've got some soup ready," said Lee as he stood back up.

  "Soup?" She stood up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen and over to the stove. A pot of potato soup was simmering away. "I had all of the ingredients to make this?" she asked as she turned to face him.

  Lee smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty easy to throw together."

  Melina blushed. "Well, I guess you can see now why you always cook."

  He let out a short laugh. "Why don't you go and sit down, and I'll bring you a bowl."

  "Thanks." She walked over to the kitchen table and took a seat.

  About a minute later, Lee brought two bowls of soup over to the table and then sat down next to her. "Was everything going okay with Dean before the vision happened?"

  Melina took a small bite of her soup and then looked up to answer him. "Actually, there were a couple of other things that happened while I was out with him. The vision incident was just the worst."

  "Do you want to talk about them?" Lee asked.

  She ate another spoonful of soup and then told him what happened with Nina and then about the mysterious woman she saw in the library. "I can't believe I forgot to tell Walter about that woman. I wanted to hear what he thought of her."

  "He said he was coming back here tomorrow, didn't he? You can talk to him about it then."

  "Yeah, he'll be here in the morning sometime," she said. "He's bringing Phinneas so I can explain everything else that’s happened recently to see if he might have any other ideas."

  Lee nodded and then took a bite of his soup.

  Melina watched him for a moment, waiting to hear his thoughts, but she heard nothing.

  "I'm sorry," she said suddenly.

  "For what?" Lee asked as he looked up at her.

  "It seems like all we ever talk about is me and my powers."

  "Well they're a pretty important part of your life," he said. "Especially now."

  "Yes, but you're an important part of my life, too." She laid her hand on top of his. "Let's talk about you for a change."

  "Melina, as long as you're in danger, I can't talk about myself. Your safety is pretty much all that’s on my mind." His cheeks blushed slightly as he gave her a small grin.

  "Lee," she said as she clutched his hand. "Now that I have these powers, I'm probably always going to be in some sort of danger."

  "Then I guess you'll be all that I continue to think about." His light brown eyes stared into her bright green ones, and after a few seconds he said, "Melina, I…" He paused, as if he wasn't sure how to continue and then quickly averted his gaze down to his bowl of soup. "I care a lot about you. More than I think you know." He slowly raised his eyes back up to look at her.

  Melina remained silent at first. She wanted to see if she could hear what he was thinking, but again she heard nothing. He was getting better at holding back his thoughts.

  She held his gaze for a moment longer and then said in a soft voice, "I could say the same to you."

  Lee smiled and then used the hand that she had laid on top of his to pull her toward him. Their faces grew close, and then she closed her eyes as he gently pressed his lips against hers.

  As she kissed him back, her stomach began to flutter, and her pulse quickened. With her free hand she reached up and cupped the back of his head, slowly weaving her fingers through his hair. She wasn't falling in love with him. She was already in love with him, and right now she desperately wanted to tell him. But she couldn't.

  What if he wasn't ready to hear that term of commitment just yet? Not even a minute ago she had thought that he was about to tell her himself, but something had stopped him. And if that something was fear then she didn't want to add to it by blurting out her own feelings. Besides, he was scared enough by all of the supernatural aspects in her life. He didn't need to be scared away by anything else.

  She felt Lee start to pull away, and as she opened her eyes, he gently caressed the side of her face. "I mean it, Melina. I don't want anything to happen to you."

  "I know," was all she could manage to say. She could feel tears starting to well up in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away.

  He tucked a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear and then sat back in his chair. "You need some rest now. I'll clean all of this up real quick, and then I'll let you be so you can go to bed."

  Melina nodded. "Okay."

  Lee gathered up the soup bowls and made his way into the kitchen. Several minutes later he had the dishes loaded into the dishwasher and the remaining soup put away in the refrigerator. He turned the kitchen lights off and then walked over
to meet Melina.

  She was waiting for him by her apartment door, and once he approached, she escorted him down the stairs to the back exit of her store. "Thanks for dinner," she said with a smile.

  Lee shrugged. "It may not have been exactly what we had planned, but it was still nice to spend some time together." He pulled one of her hands up to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. "Sleep tight. Hopefully I'll see you sometime tomorrow."

  Melina nodded and then slowly closed the door behind him. Her hand lingered on the knob for a few seconds, and then she finally reached up and turned the lock. A heavy sigh escaped her as she walked back up the stairs to her apartment. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, it would be the right time to tell him how she felt about him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Melina woke the next morning a lot later than usual. Before Tessa had left last night, she had told her to not come down to the bookstore and to stay up in her apartment to rest. Melina hadn't wanted to agree at first, but Tessa had been very insistent, so to help her keep her word, she hadn't even bothered to set her alarm. It had been a long time since she had slept past eight o'clock.

  A little after nine, Melina had showered, gotten herself dressed and ready for the day. She figured a pair of comfy jeans and a brown, long-sleeved cotton tee was good enough if she didn't plan on doing a whole lot that day. After eating a quick bowl of cereal and taking some pain medicine to ease the dull throb in the left side of her head, she plopped down on her couch to find something to watch on TV while she waited for Walter and Phinneas to arrive. They hadn't agreed on an exact time, so she figured that the two of them would just show up as soon as they could.

  After a few minutes of sitting on the couch, she heard her phone beep with a text message. She leaned over and picked it up from the end table and saw that it was from Lee.

  "Hope I get to see you sometime later today," he said.

  She smiled and then sent back, "Me too. I'll call you this afternoon." A few seconds passed with no other response, so she placed her phone back on the end table and settled back into the couch to continue watching the movie she'd found. About an hour later, she heard a light knock on her door.