Torn

by Ashley Stambaugh

  "Yeah, I did. Remember?" She held her left wrist up into the air. "His grip left a nice burn mark on my wrist."

  Walter nodded. "That's what I thought. Now, we're not quite sure on what the significance of the second question is, but we have an idea. Did the contact with the Noxin demon happen the day after you absorbed the powers from me, or was it later than that?"

  Melina's gaze shifted to the side as she tried to recall the incident with the demon. It was an event that she wanted to forget, so thinking about it wasn't easy, but she knew it was important.

  "Yes," she said suddenly and then looked back up at Walter. "It was the day after. It was that following morning. I had gone out to get a cappuccino, and as I was leaving the coffee shop, two of the Noxin demons ambushed me in an alley."

  "So the answer to both questions is yes," said Phinneas.

  Melina nodded.

  Once again, Walter and Phinneas exchanged solemn expressions.

  "Wait," said Melina, the color quickly fading from her face. "You don't think that…"

  Phinneas took in a deep breath and then looked Melina straight in the eyes. "Yes. We think it means that you've also absorbed demon powers."

  Chapter Nineteen

  Everyone remained still, shocked into silence, except for Tessa.

  "You can't be serious!?" she asked, leaning forward, her eyes wide and her brow creased.

  "I'm afraid we are," said Phinneas. "Why else would the demon want to know if Melina had ever made contact with a Noxin demon while he was in his human form? She was able to absorb guiding angel powers because we can take a human form, so it would make sense that it would also work that way with demons."

  Melina was speechless as she stared down at the floor. It all made sense. How had she not figured it out sooner? Feeling sick, she slowly sat back down in her chair.

  "Melina?" Lee said in a low voice.

  "It all makes sense," she said, her eyes still fixed on the floor. "The burning sensation and the evil feelings only happen when I try to use my angel powers, which are slowly fading away as the evil in me grows stronger." She raised her hand to her forehead. "The burning and evil feelings are from the demon powers. It would also explain why the past few times it's felt like the anger and violence were forced out of me. The angel powers are trying to fight back. And it's the perfect answer for why Dean doesn't have any pain after using his powers, but I do. And then…"

  She slowly lowered her hand and looked back up at Walter and Phinneas with wide eyes. "The teleportation power. It's a universal power, one that the Noxin demons have, too. That's why it's not causing any negative effects when I use it. It all makes sense." She glanced over at Dean and then back to Phinneas. "Could this happen to him, too?"

  Dean's face paled, and his eyes were almost as big as Melina's.

  Phinneas gave a slight shrug and raised his eyebrows. "Maybe, but let's not go there now. We need more details before we can even confirm that that's what's happened to you."

  Melina returned her gaze to the floor and shook her head. "Maura was right. My body is in a battle, torn between good and evil." Tears started to form in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. "What does this mean for me?" she asked in a low voice. "If I really do have both angel and demon powers inside of me then what's going to happen to me? Am I in danger of dying again?" She raised her head to look at Walter and Phinneas.

  "We don't know anything for sure yet," said Phinneas. "Even though all of the pieces seem to fit together, we need to find out if you really do have demon powers before we start to worry like that."

  "Look at me," said Melina as she placed a hand on her chest. "I look like I either haven't slept for days or I'm terminally ill. How can I not think that I might be in danger of dying when my appearance says otherwise?"

  Phinneas gestured around the room. "I think we can all agree that this whole ordeal has taken a pretty big toll on you, which is why we all want you to rest, but let's not think the worst just yet. Not until Walter and I have spoken to the demon again. Hopefully he'll be able to either confirm or deny our theory."

  "Or I can just ask Maura," Melina said.

  Phinneas shook his head. "You need to stay away from her."

  "Look," said Melina as she sprang up from her chair. "I want definitive answers, now. And she's the one who can give them to me, not some banned Noxin demon who's just going off of rumors he once heard." She stared defiantly between Walter and Phinneas.

  "Melina," Walter said softly. "Try to stay in control. Suppress the anger."

  She balled her hands into fists at her sides and clenched her jaw.

  "We're only looking out for your safety," he continued, "but I do agree that Maura would know more. Now, if you want to discuss this further, then you need to calm down. Just relax. You can do it."

  She took in a deep breath and let out a long exhale. A few seconds later, her hands slowly uncurled, but her body remained tensed. "I know Maura's dangerous," she said as she looked up at Walter and Phinneas. "But these malicious feelings are getting harder to fight. They're starting to overcome me more frequently, and it's not even after I've used one of my angel powers anymore. I know I can be stubborn at times, but this angry, violent person isn't me. I need to know for sure if I've absorbed Noxin demon powers or not. And if I have, then I need to figure out what I can do to get rid of them."

  Phinneas nodded. "Okay. Then this is what I suggest we do. Walter and I will go and talk to the demon again. I think it would be beneficial to be able to compare what he says with what Maura says."

  "Do you think she would lie to me?" asked Melina.

  "Well, she is a demon."

  "Right," Melina said as she nodded in understanding.

  "Now," said Phinneas, "I'm not sure how long the demon will stay in the area where we found him earlier, so we'll go see him first, and then we can arrange for you to meet up with Maura after we return. I know Henry's always watching over you, but I would like for Walter and myself to be there as well."

  "I don't think she wants to harm me," said Melina.

  "I'm not taking any chances," Phinneas said. "I've never encountered a named demon before, so I'd like for you to have as much protection as possible."

  "All right," she said with a nod, her body finally relaxing. "When will you leave to go talk to the demon again?"

  "We've tested our luck with him enough for one night," said Phinneas, "so we'll wait until tomorrow evening to go back to New York."

  "Okay," she said. "Am I still on lockdown, though? I think I might go crazy if I have to be stuck in my apartment for another day." Her gaze shifted back and forth between the two elders.

  “I don't see any harm in it now,” said Walter. “If she steers clear of crowded places then she shouldn't be at risk of someone saying or doing something to trigger her anger."

  Phinneas rubbed his chin. "I agree. Places that aren't too crowded should be fine, and please only go out during the day, preferably with someone. That will hopefully lessen the chance of another encounter with Maura. At least not until we're ready to have another encounter with her."

  Melina nodded. "I can do that."

  "Right now, though," Walter said as he stepped forward and placed his hand on her arm, "I think rest is what you need. We should all call it a night."

  "Melina?" Gwen suddenly piped up. "Would you like someone to stay with you tonight?"

  "I can stay with her," both Tessa and Lee said at the same time.

  "No," Melina said as she turned toward them. "Thank you, but I just… I think I need some time alone to let all of this settle in."

  Tessa nodded, but Lee remained silent.

  "I might need some company tomorrow, but tonight I just want to be by myself." She gazed around the room at everyone. "Thanks for all of your support and for being so understanding about everything. It means a lot that you all care so much about me."

  "Of course," said Tessa as she stood up from her chair. "It's not like you're doing any of
this on purpose."

  "Thanks," she said again as she gave everyone an appreciative smile.

  At that, Walter and Phinneas said their good-byes and teleported away, and everyone else started to head toward the door.

  Melina stopped Dean before he stepped over the threshold. "You okay? You were pretty quiet during that whole conversation."

  He shrugged. "It was all a little daunting to hear since, you know, it could possibly happen to me, but you don't need to worry about me."

  She eyed him carefully, wondering if he was telling the truth. "Okay," she finally said. "Do you need a ride back to your hotel?"

  "No," he said, shaking his head. "I'll catch a cab."

  "Don't be silly," Tessa piped up from behind him. "There's no need for a cab. I'll drive you."

  "All right," Dean said. "Thank you."

  They both headed out the door, and Gwen said she would lock up the store as she walked out behind them. Melina said goodnight to them all, and after shutting the door behind them, she turned around to look at Lee.

  He grabbed his coat off of the couch and made his way over to her. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay tonight? It might help to ease your mind and allow you to sleep knowing that I'm right out here on the couch."

  He seemed to be upset earlier when she had told him no, so she wasn't sure what to say now. She gave him a small smile and took one of his hands in hers. "You know I would love for you to stay with me tonight. And it would give me peace of mind to know that someone else was here with me, but…" She hesitated, trying to choose her words carefully. "What I want and what I need are two different things. And right now I just need some time to myself."

  He held her gaze for a few seconds and then slowly nodded his head.

  At that moment, Melina would've done almost anything to be able to hear his thoughts. He still seemed to be upset, but she didn't know why. It wasn't the first time that she'd turned down his offer to stay with her, and he hadn't been upset then. So what was the difference?

  She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Please don't be mad."

  "I'm not mad," he said. "I'm just… I'm worried that…" He let out a heavy sigh as he pulled his hand from hers and ran it through his hair.

  Melina's brow furrowed. "You're worried about what?"

  He briefly shook his head. "It's nothing. It's not important. But are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself?"

  She eyed him for a few more seconds and then decided not to press him. Her face relaxed as she nodded her head. "Yeah. I'll be all right."

  "Okay," he said and then leaned forward and gently kissed her on her lips. After a few seconds, he pulled back slightly and touched his forehead to hers. "I will always be here for you, no matter what happens."

  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring his words. She hoped he meant them because who knew what was going to happen next.

  Chapter Twenty

  After Lee had finally left, Melina shut all the lights off in the kitchen and living room and went straight into the master bathroom. As she flipped the light on, her eyes immediately found the mirror. Her mouth dropped open at the sight of herself. The dark circles around her eyes, which were faint this morning, were now larger and much more prominent, and her skin looked even paler.

  She raised her hands to her face and gently rubbed her fingertips against the skin under her eyes, as if she were trying to wipe the darkness away, and then ran her fingers through her hair. Awful was an understatement to describe her appearance. Maybe a nice, hot shower would help.

  After taking her dress and boots off and throwing all of her clothes into a pile on the floor, she turned the hot water on and stepped into the shower. To anyone else, the water would've been plenty hot, but not to Melina. She turned the handle over farther, raising the temperature even more. The possibility that she now had demon powers as well as angel powers made her body feel tainted, and she was hoping that the steaming water would somehow wash away that corruption and make her feel pure again. She sat down on the floor of the tub and let the water rain over her.

  Why is this happening to me again? Why? I was supposed to be out of danger. Out of danger from my powers, and out of danger from the demons. Everything was just starting to fall into place. I had accepted the angel powers and was starting to enjoy them, and Lee and I were growing so much closer to one another.

  She rubbed her hands over her face. "I'm already losing my angel powers," she said aloud to herself. "I don't want to lose him, too."

  As she glanced down at her hands, she noticed her skin was starting to wrinkle. She sighed. As good as the water felt, she didn't need to stay in the shower for much longer. Reluctantly she stood and grabbed the bottle of shampoo.

  About twenty minutes later, she came out of the bathroom with freshly blow-dried hair and her bathrobe wrapped around her. Showers usually revived her and made her feel more awake, but all she wanted to do was go to bed. After throwing on some flannel pajamas, she crawled under the covers of her bed and drifted off to sleep.

  ****

  When Melina woke the next morning, she squinted her eyes open and then immediately shut them again. The sunlight was pouring into her bedroom through the windows, and it made her head hurt. Why is it already so bright outside? She stole a peek at the clock on her nightstand and saw that it was almost eleven o'clock. Well, that would explain it.

  She pulled the covers up over her head and contemplated sleeping through the rest of the day. The sunlight was really bothering her for some reason, so the idea of hiding out in her bed was tempting. But now that she had her freedom back, there was someplace she needed to go.

  With her eyes barely opened, she climbed out of bed and made her way over to the windows. If she didn't know any better, she'd say she was starting to have a migraine. But, she did know better, and she would almost bet that her sudden sensitivity to light was just one more development to prove that she did in fact have demon powers. While demons were certainly out and about during the daytime, they thrived at nighttime, so it fit with everything else that was happening to her. She yanked both of the curtains closed and then sauntered back to the bathroom to get ready.

  After doing her hair and make-up, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a gray sweater and then went into the kitchen to eat something for breakfast. As she began to search through her cupboards and fridge, she realized she wasn't actually that hungry. What did sound good, though, was coffee.

  She glanced over at her coffee maker. It was a good machine, and did its job well, but it couldn't compare to a specialty coffee brewed by a barista. A trip to the nearby coffee shop would have to be made before she went to her intended destination.

  She closed the fridge and then made her way back to her bedroom to gather her things. When she was closing the curtains earlier, she'd noticed that it had snowed a little last night, so she pulled on her tall, black snow boots. After she'd finished lacing them up, she slipped her coat on and then grabbed her purse and sunglasses. She slid the glasses on as she walked down the stairs and then pulled her hood up before leaving out the back door. Hopefully that would be enough to keep the sun from tormenting her too much.

  As she stepped outside, she lowered her head and rushed over to her Jeep. Once inside she let out a sigh of relief. The hood and glasses helped, but everything was still so bright. She started the Jeep and took off toward the coffee shop.

  Several minutes later, she was walking out of the shop with a hot coffee in hand. Luckily, the quick stop hadn't resulted in any incident. She hoped the rest of the day would continue in that manner.

  After climbing back into her Jeep, she set her coffee down into a cup holder and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. Lee had only wanted to help her last night, and if she was so scared of losing him, she needed to stop pushing him away. She dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

  "Melina," Lee said, a hint of surprise in his voice.

  "You sound like you weren't expecting to hear fro
m me," she said.

  He cleared his throat. "Well, you did say you wanted to be alone, and I wasn't sure how long that would be."

  "I'm sorry about pushing you away last night."

  "No," he said, "I'm sorry. If I were in your shoes, I think I would've wanted to be left alone a lot sooner than now. You've been handling all of this a lot better than I would have."

  "Thanks," she said softly. "I was actually calling to see if you wanted to go somewhere with me."

  "Okay, where do you want to go?"

  "The cemetery," she said. "I want to pay a visit to my parents' gravesite."

  "Well, I've got a couple of things to finish up here at the store, but I can meet you there."

  "Okay," she said. "I'm pretty sure I'll be there for a while, so there's no need for you to rush. I'll see you soon."

  "See you soon."

  She ended the call and then took off toward the cemetery. Hopefully she would receive the comfort she was seeking by going there.

  ****

  Melina parked her Jeep on the side of one of the access roads and then stepped outside. Even though most of the cemetery was pretty well shaded, she kept her hood up and sunglasses on as she slowly made her way over to her parents' tombstones. She took in a deep breath and then let out a heavy exhale as she knelt down in front of them.

  "Where to begin," she said as she clasped her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry I don't come here more often. I'm going to try to change that, but it was always just too painful for me before." She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I guess it's still painful, but I can handle it better now. At least I think I can. But I don't know. There's a lot I'm trying to handle right now, and who knows if I'm really handling it all well."

  She paused and lowered her gaze down to her hands. "I… I hope I'm not disappointing you. I know you both would've been proud to use your powers to help others and add more good to this world, and I wanted so much to do the same, but…" She took in another deep breath and raised her head back up. "I've only been able to help one person so far, and now… well, I guess I'm just not a good enough person."