Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained

by Roseanne Dowell

  “I’m sure they will. Callie said they have an airtight case against them. I’m sure your testimony helped.”

  “Their lawyer didn’t even ask me a question. How could he? When you tell the truth, you don’t have to think about what you’re saying because the story’s always the same. It felt good getting it off my chest, even reliving the nightmare of being tied up and fearing death. Between testifying and reliving the whole thing, my insides hurt. I kept gulping down breaths to stay calm. I thought for sure my heart would explode. Now that it’s over, they don’t scare me anymore.”

  Callie told them later, it only took the jury two hours to find them guilty, and the judge put them away for a long time.

  ***

  Thus, began another rein of Beatrice Lulu Eberhardt, out to save the world. So much for her promise to mind her own business. Ed should have known better. Bea was, after all, Bea, and she just couldn’t help herself, or as she was so fond of saying, ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained.’

  Her first adventure, only a week after she testified, involved her former next door neighbor. Obviously, Bea thought if she nosed around in the next town Ed wouldn’t hear about it. And he might not have, if it hadn’t been for Lottie. Lottie’s not known for keeping secrets. Ed ran into her at the hardware store.

  “You’d have been proud of my sister, Ed. Ethel was ready to give up, but not Beatrice Lulu.”

  “Really, why don’t you tell me about it?”

  Lottie bit her lip and grimaced. “Oh my, I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Oh dear, they’re both going to kill me.”

  “Now, Lottie, no one’s going to kill you. Tell me what happened.”

  “Oh, dear.” Lottie scrubbed her hands across her cheeks.

  “The cat’s out of the bag now, you may as well spill the beans.” It wasn’t usually this difficult getting Lottie to talk. She was generally more forthcoming.

  “Well, Mabel Crankshaw, you remember her, Bea’s old neighbor?”

  “Mabel? What’s she got to do with this? They moved several years ago, to Farmville.”

  “Yes, that’s her. Well she and Beatrice Lulu still talk. Anyway, Mabel told Beatrice Lulu that she suspected her son-in-law was having an affair, but she couldn’t prove it.”

  “Don’t tell me. Bea offered to help.”

  “No. Actually, Mabel asked her to help and you know Beatrice Lulu, she can’t say no to anyone. So, she came up with a plan to follow him for a week or two and see what he was up to.”

  “She’s got to quit following people. I swear, that woman. What did she find out?”

  “Well, Mabel was right. Beatrice Lulu and Ethel followed him for two weeks. Just when they were about ready to give up and report no unusual activity, Frank met a young lady at a local motel.”

  “So why would this make me proud?”

  “Well, they staked him out. Ethel said Beatrice Lulu brought coffee and sandwiches, just like a real private investigator. She even captured them kissing on her camera. Not just a picture, either. Oh no, Beatrice Lulu recorded it. Nothing better than a recording to prove it wasn’t just a quick kiss and embrace.” Needless to say, Mabel was extremely grateful.”

  “I see, and what did Mabel’s daughter, Daisy, think of all this?”

  Lottie shrugged. “Ethel didn’t say anything about Daisy, but I reckon she wasn’t too happy. She’s in the family way.”

  “No, I guess she wouldn’t be.”

  “Please don’t tell Beatrice Lulu I told you. She’ll never forgive me.”

  “I won’t say a word.” Nope, he wouldn’t say anything. He’d let Bea hang herself. She wasn’t a liar, and eventually the truth would come out. He’d never asked her about those nights she didn’t come home until late. She said she was going with Ethel and he never questioned her. Maybe he’d have a little fun of his own.

  Ed came home to find Bea hustling about the kitchen, baking a pie. One thing his wife did well was cook and bake. The rich cinnamony aroma, mixed with the crisp smell of apples, filled the kitchen. Nothing better than the smell of apple pie, and Bea made the best he ever had. Ed decided to wait to question her. No sense getting Bea angry before he had his pie. Nope, better to have his pie and eat it, too.

  No sooner did Bea take the pies out of the oven and the phone rang. Probably Ethel. Those two talked several times a day. What they talked about so much Ed couldn’t imagine. This time, Bea looked too serious. Whoever was on the other end didn’t have good news. He didn’t like the look on Bea’s face or the tone of her voice. Not that she was saying much, mostly she listened, which was rare for his wife.

  Bea sank down in the chair as if her legs wouldn’t hold her up. Ed stayed nearby, fearing the worst. Something about Jess, Bea’s mother, and hospital. Definitely not good.

  Bea hung up, looked at Ed, and burst into tears. “Mama fell. She’s unconscious. It doesn’t look good.”

  Ed pulled Bea to her feet and hugged her. “Which hospital?”

  “South Bay. We have to go.”

  “Of course, we do. You change. I’ll pull the car around.” He kissed her cheek and prayed for the best. Jessica was the matriarch. The glue that held the family together. Although Ed had a pretty good idea they’d stick together anyway. Those girls were too close not to.

  A few minutes later, they arrived at the hospital. One thing Ed liked about small towns, everything was nearby. Ethel and Jess’s new husband, Jim Landry, met them in the waiting room.

  “What happened?” Bea hugged her sister and gave a half-hearted smile to Jim.

  “She just keeled over,” Jim answered.

  “What do you mean, she just keeled over? People don’t just keel over for no reason.” Bea turned to face Jim.

  “She’s been sick for a couple, days. Flu, we thought. I told her she needed to go to the doctor, but you know your mother. She flat out refused. Then this morning, she just keeled over.”

  “Don’t they know why?” Bea wrung her hands.

  “Not yet, they’re doing tests.”

  Ed led Bea to a chair. “Do you want some coffee or anything?” He directed his question at Jim and Ethel as well as Bea. Nothing worse than a hospital waiting room. Talk about feeling helpless. Getting coffee would keep him busy for a few minutes at least.

  Ethel held up a Styrofoam cup, and Jim shook his head. Bea didn’t bother to answer as she sank down into the chair. If her face turned any whiter, Ed was afraid she’d pass out. She curled herself in to the seat as if it could swallow her, lips trembling, tears filling her eyes. Never had he seen his wife so worried. He got her a glass of water, leaned down, and gave it to her. She drank it down in one gulp. He refilled it, brought it to her, and she pushed it away.

  No one talked. Ethel skimmed through a magazine, pretending to read. Jim stared at the clock, as if that would help, and Bea hadn’t moved since he’d given her the water. Bea usually did well in serious situations. Of course, this was different. This involved Jess. It seemed like hours until the doctor came out.

  “Jess is still unconscious, but stable. She’s suffering from Diabetic Ketoacidosis.” The doctor directed his comments to Jim.

  “Diabetic what? I didn’t know she was diabetic.” Jim looked at Bea and Ethel. “Did you know?”

  “We had no idea,” they said together.

  “Can you explain that, please?” Lillian had arrived in time to hear the diagnosis and asked the logical question.

  “Sure. Diabetic Ketoacidosis – DKA for short – results in unconsciousness from a combination of severely increased blood sugar levels, dehydration, shock, and exhaustion if it progresses and worsens without treatment. Coma only occurs at advanced stage, usually after a couple of days of vomiting and hyperventilation.” The doctor looked from one to the other of us as he talked, making sure everyone understood.

  “What’s the prognosis? What are you doing for her?” Lillian’s face had gone as pale as Bea’s.

  “We’ll give her fluids intravenously to stabilize the
circulation, saline, potassium, other electrolytes to replace deficits, and insulin to reverse the ketoacidosis. We’ll monitor for complications.”

  “What kind of complications?” Bea glared at the doctor as if this was his fault.

  “Low blood sugar, plus the fluids can cause her potassium level to drop too low – that can impair the activities of the heart, muscles, and nerves. Adjusting her blood sugar level too quickly can produce swelling in her brain.” The doctor sighed, looked at everyone, and continued, “Don’t worry, we’ll be monitoring her very closely.”

  “Can we see her?” Jim swiped at his eyes.

  “Sure, but only two at a time. She should be coming around soon, but she’ll be groggy for a while.”

  By that time, Bea’s brother, Clyde had arrived and Ethel explained everything to him while Jim and Lillian went to see Jess. Bea just sat and stared. Poor thing looked catatonic.

  Ed sat down next to her and took her hand. “She’s going to be okay, you’ll see. Jess is tough.”

  “I don’t know what we’d do without her. I mean, I know that time will come, but not yet. I’m not ready for that.”

  Before he had a chance to answer, Jim and Lillian came out. Ethel stood and looked at Bea. “Are you coming?”

  Bea stood, looked at Ed, and took his hand. He would have stayed back, but she gripped his hand so tight, he had no alternative but to go with her. It certainly wasn’t by choice. He had a thing about hospitals, let alone emergency rooms. He stayed as far away from them as possible. Unfortunately, Bea needed him and he couldn’t let her down. Horse flies played in his stomach – at least that’s what it felt like. Ever since his father and then his mother passed away, Ed couldn’t handle being in hospitals. Nothing good ever came of them. True, births came from hospitals also, but mostly it was a bunch of sick people, some who never came out. A tightness gripped his neck like someone was strangling him. He had to get out of here, but he couldn’t leave Bea. He swallowed back the nausea in his throat.

  He could barely bring himself to look at Jess. Tubes dangled from poles above her bed with needles jabbed into her arms. Oxygen tubes entered her nose. Gone was the beautiful peachy complexion and bright blue eyes. In its place, dark circles rimmed her eyes, and skin so pale it matched the white pillowcase. A screen above her monitored her heart, pulse, and blood pressure. The steady beeping drove him crazy. Any minute, it could screech out a warning. He’d seen it too many times.

  It didn’t look like Jess. Ed looked away. This wasn’t the person he wanted to remember. Bea and Ethel stood next to the bed. Tears streamed down their cheeks as they joined hands and said a prayer. He would have slipped out, but Bea grabbed his hand again.

  Ed didn’t know much about diabetic comas. Hell, he didn’t know much about any kind of coma. All he knew was Jess didn’t look good. Clyde was waiting to see Jess so he motioned to Bea and whispered he’d go see if Lottie arrived. She didn’t like it, but let him go. Jess’s eyes fluttered open, just as Ed turned to leave. She looked between her daughters and gave a weak smile. At least she was awake. That was a good sign.

  Ed went back in later and much to his relief, Jess appeared her normal self. “They’re moving her to a room soon,” Bea said.

  Once they moved her to a room, they could visit whenever they wanted. Not that the girls would leave their mother. They insisted on staying around the clock, and decided on taking turns, which was a feat in itself. They all wanted to take the first shift.

  When Ed and Bea arrived the next day, Ethel discussed Jess’s condition. She hung around, hoping the doctor would show up. Jess appeared to be doing well, but things couldn’t get any tenser. Jessica being unconscious had taken its toll on everyone, Ed included.

  Plus, the doctors were concerned about the bump on her head. They’d ordered a CT scan, and were waiting for results, this time from a neurologist. Bea was, of course, beside herself with worry. As they walked toward the elevators a man came out of a room down the hall. Ed wasn’t sure what came over him, maybe just stress. “Watch this,” he whispered to Ethel. “Bea, I think that’s the doctor.”

  Bea took off down the hall, yelling, “Doctor, Doctor.”

  Ed grabbed Ethel’s arm so she couldn’t follow. She looked puzzled.

  “It’s not the doctor.” He nodded toward Bea in time to see her grab the man’s arm. Whatever transpired between them looked a bit awkward. Ethel and Ed burst out laughing. Wrong of him, he knew. But he couldn’t help it. Ethel laughed so hard, she slid to the floor, put her hands around her knees, leaned her head down, and literally howled.

  Bea glared at Ed and took off outside. He was in big trouble. Still laughing, he leaned down, and asked Ethel if she was okay.

  She lifted her head and nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Welcome to the family, Ed. Beatrice Lulu deserved it. She’s pulled enough tricks on everyone else, although this might not have been the best timing.”

  Ed found Bea sitting outside. The look on her face told him he was in for it.

  “That had to be the meanest thing anyone’s ever done to me. And my own sister went along with it. My own sister! Sometimes I think you two are against me.”

  “I’m sorry, honey pot. I couldn’t help myself.”

  She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead. Obviously, he didn’t deserve an answer. Bea was pretty good about giving the silent treatment. Besides, he still had a hard time controlling his laughter.

  Bea nudged him. “What’s so damn funny?”

  “You running after that guy. What did he say?”

  “Harrumph. Glad you think it’s funny. I’ve never been so embarrassed. That was a rotten thing to do.” A bit of a smile snuck out. “It would have been funnier if I hadn’t been on the receiving end.”

  “Someone had to break the tension. We were all about ready to scream.”

  She laughed. “You’re right, we were. If I didn’t love you so much, I’d never speak to you again. I do have to admit it was funny.”

  “So, what did you say to him?”

  “I asked if he was the neurologist, Dr. Shelling.”

  “And?”

  “And he said no, he was Dr. Bloomfield, a proctologist.” Bea giggled. “At least he was a doctor. You’re lucky Mama taught us to always see the humor in a situation. Come on, we’d better find Ethel.” Bea grabbed his hand. “Don’t think I won’t get back at you for this, Edgar Eberhardt.”

  They arrived back at the room to find Ethel talking to a man who looked like he just got out of high school.

  “Beatrice Lulu, this is Dr. Shelling. Doctor, my sister, Beatrice Lulu and her husband, Ed.”

  “What’s going on with my mother?” Bea was in the habit of dispensing with formalities even if she sounded rude. It was her nature. She was blunt. “What did the scan show?”

  “Your mother’s results came back fine. There’s no concussion. She’ll have a bump for a few days, but nothing serious. I’m releasing her tomorrow.”

  Bea slumped against Ed as the tension left her body. “Thank you.”

  Would wonders never cease, she did have some manners.

  “Poor Mama, I’m still worried about the bump.”

  “I’m sure she’ll be fine, you worry too much. I’m going to leave now. I need some sleep.” Ethel hugged each of them and left.

  Bea badgered Jess with a million questions. “Really, Mama, I think you should come to our house.”

  Of course, Jess refused. Not that it surprised Ed. Jess wanted to go home, and he didn’t blame her.

  “I’d feel much better if I could take care of you. If you won’t come to my house, how about I come to yours?”

  Jess shook her head. “I’ll be fine. Jim will take good care of me, won’t you honey?”

  “I’m at your beck and call.” Jim leaned down and kissed Jess’s cheek.

  Bea had no choice but to drop it.

  Later, Clyde, Ethel, Lottie, Bea, Lillian, and Ed went to lunch at a restaurant around the corner.
The mood much lighter now that Jess was better. A rose sat in a vase on the table. Of all people, Lillian looked around, took the rose, vase, and all, and stuffed it in her purse. “What?” she asked when we stared at her, “It’s for Mama.”

  When we returned to the room, Lillian set it on the night stand. “For you, Mama.”

  Jess looked at each of her kids one at a time. “Where’d you steal that?”

  She knew her family too well.

  It didn’t take long for Jess to get back on schedule when she returned home. To slow her down, Jim planned a fishing trip for just the two of them and borrowed the cabin for the weekend. Bea wanted to go along, but Ed put his foot down. He didn’t say no often, but when he did, Bea knew not to argue. After the constant vigil at the hospital, Jess and Jim needed some time alone, and the last thing they needed was Bea hovering over them.

  Bea meant well, but she could be a bit overbearing. Okay, more than a bit. Ed would never forget when Callie stayed with them for a few days. Poor girl didn’t have a moment’s peace. Between Bea trying to fix her up with every Tom, Dick, and Harry, and waiting on her hand and foot, well, let’s just say he was surprised Callie stayed as long as she did.

  Bea thought no one could take care of themselves. You’d have thought she have learned her lesson when she was laid up. But not Bea. Bea was Bea, after all.

  Chapter 3

  Ed finally got the chance to ask where she’d been all those nights.

  “What do you mean where was I? I told you I was with Ethel.”

  “Yeah, but you never told me what you were doing.”

  The guilty look on Bea’s face almost made him feel bad for asking, but he didn’t let up “You were with Ethel, weren’t you?”

  “Of course, I was with Ethel, who do you think I was with?”

  “Well, now honey pot, that’s what I’m wondering. If you were with Ethel, why so secretive about what you were doing?”

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Ed. Surely you don’t think I was out fooling around on you. You know I’m a one man’s woman.”