My Tattered Bonds

by Courtney Cole

  “My name’s Em,” I explained softly. “I met your uncle here at the hospital a while ago. He was a really nice person.”

  “Yes, he was.” Brennan relaxed. I could see it as his shoulders un-tightened. It never ceased to amaze me. My presence was soothing to mortals, it drew them in. In reality, it should alarm them, put them on edge, cause them to run far, far away from me. But they never did.

  The doctor nodded and took his leave, as the one lingering nurse straightened Daniel’s blankets. With one last sympathetic gaze, she left Brennan and I alone.

  I watched this boy curiously as he approached his dead uncle. It had been so long since I had allowed my heart to warm to something. I didn’t like it that way, but it was simply the way things had to be. It was interesting to me now to watch the sadness flit across this boy’s handsome features. I felt a small twinge, somewhere deep within me, but I ignored it.

  “I didn’t know him very well,” Brennan said softly as he picked up Daniel’s limp arm and replaced it next to his still body. “After his daughter died, he kind of withdrew from the world. He thought no one understood. He stopped talking to my dad, and everyone else for that matter, and life went on without him.”

  “I don’t think that he really wanted to go on,” I offered limply. What else could I say? I’m sorry, but I just shortened your uncle’s already terminal life because I needed his soul? Yeah, that would be an icebreaker, for sure.

  “I know. He’s been like that ever since Kayla’s accident.”

  Brennan gazed down at his uncle and I paused at the expression on his face. He was still loving, still reverent, even though Daniel had shut them all out in his grief. It was fascinating. Mortals were so different from those in my world. But then, I had a father who was trying to kill me. That might slant my views somewhat.

  “Are you, er, sick, too?” Brennan asked me hesitantly as his hazel eyes skimmed over my body. I knew he was searching for the tell-tale sickly, sallow look of a cancer patient. I shook my head.

  “No. I volunteer here. I read to children, sit with sick adults, stuff like that.”

  Appreciation flickered on his face and I unconsciously took a step back. No. Do not like me, I silently commanded him. Not that it would work. Men were always drawn to me. They couldn’t help it. It was one of my gifts. Or a curse, depending on how you looked at it.

  “That’s a very nice thing for you to do,” he acknowledged softly. I saw the attraction in his eyes and I took a sharp breath. For some reason, his warm, vulnerable gaze appealed to me and I wanted to tell him that I was dangerous, to stay away. But of course I couldn’t.

  “It’s not a big deal,” I said instead. “I like it.”

  That wasn’t the truth. I didn’t like being here, because I only came here when it was getting close to time to feed. The hospital was the perfect place to find people on death’s door. It was the only thing I could do to assuage my guilt, to placate my conscience. If I took the life of someone who was going to die anyway, it wasn’t really killing them, was it? That’s what I told myself anyway.

  I looked through the empty doorway, half expecting more of his family members to show up. “Is your father coming?”

  Brennan shook his head. “No. And he doesn’t know that I’m here. The hospital called this morning to tell us that Daniel’s situation was serious. But my dad wouldn’t come. They had some bad blood at the end.”

  “That’s really sad,” I murmured. “Your uncle was a good person.”

  “I thought you didn’t know him very well?” he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

  “I didn’t. I’m just good at gauging people. It’s a gift.” I shrugged my shoulders. It was easy to gauge someone when you drank their soul. But I didn’t mention that part.

  “My dad’s a good person, too,” Brennan said. “But they’re both stubborn. They both said harsh things and neither of them would take them back. And sometimes, when that happens with family, it’s worse than anything else, because you trusted them more to begin with. You know?”

  He had no idea how well I knew. My own father had traded my soul for his freedom from the Underworld, transferring his hateful curse onto me. I definitely understood familial betrayal. I lived with it every day.

  I nodded. “I know.”

  Brennan gave me a sheepish look. “I’m sorry for telling you these things. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think just seeing my uncle like this… it was a shock…”

  I almost took a step forward and put my hand on his shoulder and that inclination startled me. I knew better. For anyone else, that would be a simple, harmless gesture. But not for me. I stayed where I was.

  “I’m really sorry for your loss,” I offered instead. “I know it’s hard.”

  Brennan nodded wordlessly. He gazed at his uncle one more time before turning back to me. “Hey. Do you want to go down to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee? I don’t feel like going home just yet.“

  He was hesitant, but hopeful. Something about his voice reminded me of warm maple syrup. Warm and thick, yet somehow sexy at the same time. I felt the stirrings deep in my belly, the ones that urged me to step closer and inhale this man. I took another subconscious step back. Quickly.

  “I can’t,” I answered. “I’m sorry.”

  He studied me for a moment, his head cocked. I had definitely been wrong. He wasn’t a boy. He had the serious gaze of a man.

  “Please?” he added. “I’d like to be with someone who spent time with Daniel at the end. I can’t explain it. I just want to make sure that he was okay. I won’t take much of your time, I promise. Just one cup of coffee.”

  I had more time than he could ever imagine. I was immortal. That was a fact I reminded myself of as I stared at this appealing man. Yes, he was handsome and sexy, but I could handle him. I could handle anything. My mother was the goddess of witchcraft, for Pete’s sake- the most powerful witch in the world. Some of that had to have rubbed off on me.

  I finally nodded. “Alright. Just one cup.”

  He smiled and I could swear the room brightened. I appraised his face quickly. Why was I drawn to him? I wasn’t hungry. Physically, he was handsome. Rugged features, healthy, vibrant coloring. My pulse buzzed in my wrist, quick and feather-light. I swallowed hard. I didn’t normally do this. There was no point. But for once, I listened to my heart, not my head. It would be nice to not be lonely for a few minutes.

  Brennan held the door for me and I slipped past him, careful not to touch him. As I passed, though, I inhaled. He smelled delicious, like sunshine and man.

  He punched at the elevator button and we waited, him patiently, me not-so-much. I had grown to hate the smell of hospitals, that sterile, medicinal smell, and I wanted to leave here. Now. My purpose here was done and I wouldn’t have to come back for a few weeks.

  With a melodic ‘ding’, the metal doors opened and Brennan gestured me forward.

  “Your chariot,” he smiled.

  I couldn’t help but smile back. He had such an easy, laid back way about him. His spirit seemed… almost gentle. And that seemed strange because he was so huge. I hadn’t realized how enormous he was until we stepped into the elevator and I saw our reflections. The top of my head was only chest-high to him.

  As we glided downward to the main floor, I discreetly looked at him in the mirror. He really was handsome. Broad, muscular shoulders, sandy blonde hair that just started to flip upward at his neckline. It made him look a little mischievous. Warm hazel eyes that seemed almost like butterscotch and… were looking directly at me. He raised an eyebrow and I looked away quickly. He had totally just caught me giving him the once-over. Drat. That was the last thing I needed right now.

  The doors slid open and he held out his arm.

  “After you,” he said quietly.

  His voice was husky and I found myself wishing I could take a bath in it. It was gentle and sexy at the same time. As soon as I had the thought, I wanted to slap myself. What in the name of the gods
was wrong with me? I had never been so affected by a mortal. Not ever.

  As I stepped past him, he moved slightly and I bumped into him. Our forearms collided, the length of my arm from wrist to elbow pressed against him. White hot electricity jolted through me and I exhaled sharply, the breath seemingly forced from my lungs as my fingertips tingled. Brennan inhaled at the same time, his eyes slightly unfocused from the contact.

  Shit.

  His aura appeared to me, a vivid array of colors and my breath froze in my throat, my lips automatically opening just a bit. His energy was delicious, sweet and pure, and I was hard-pressed to pull away. I felt an almost uncontrollable need to draw nearer to him, just a little.

  I can handle it. My own thoughts betrayed me.

  Before I could help myself, I stepped closer…like a moth to a flame. My lips hovered just a couple of inches from his and we lingered there, like we were the only two people in the world, drawn together by an invisible ribbon of energy. My heart took off like helicopter blades and I felt it thrumming in my chest, louder with each beat.

  His hazel eyes stared into mine, the flecks of gold shining in the dim light of the elevator. I tried to focus, to concentrate on his eyes rather than the incredible pull that I felt toward him as I fought to gather the strength to move. I just needed to move away. It shouldn’t be so hard.

  But as I tried to will my feet to move, Brennan reached out his fingers and touched mine.

  Sensations I’d never felt before, as soft as velvet but as strong as steel, flooded through my body, filling every vein, lifting me like I was floating on swelling waves. It was exquisite, unique and petrifying.

  “What the hell…” Brennan murmured, his eyes still frozen to mine. His voice was quiet and raspy and filled with wonder, but it was enough to break my fixation on him and I yanked away from him and lunged out of the elevator.

  “Wait!” he called to me. But I was already running down the hall. I had to get away from him. Far, far away before I hurt him. Curious nurses moved out of my way as I ran and I didn’t look back even though Brennan was still calling my name.

  I took the nearest exit, throwing the door open so hard that it slammed into the cinderblocks behind it. I dove beneath the stairs and collapsed into a heap in the corner, sucking in air. What the hell was that? I had never felt that way before in my life.

  Typically, when I fed, I started the process at my will. It was a conscious effort, something that I could easily control. My self-restraint was never tested. It was just like kissing. I simply brushed my lips against theirs and sucked their souls right out of their bodies. It was quick and painless.

  But with Brennan… I certainly had no intentions of stealing his soul, yet his aura had appeared with just my touch. He was young and vibrant and alive…and I wanted him. I wanted him like I had never wanted anything else in my life. My need for him had filled me up, distracted me, overwhelmed me. I had never felt a connection like that before.

  It was startling.

  Amazing.

  Terrifying.

  Because it was incredible. Emotion had flooded my body, pulsing through my heart… waking it from an ever-long slumber. And because of that, I could never see him again. My curse made me dangerous.

  I killed everyone that loved me.