Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series

by Claire D. Bennett

  “Jase,” I called softly and placed the tray on my desk. “It’s time to wake up,” I said when he groaned and turned. Approaching my black-out drapery, I pushed the curtains apart to let the light of day stream into my room. It was raining cats and dogs outside, so I was glad I’d suggested meeting Will at the café Farm Girl, because a walk in the park was out of the question.

  “Oh my God. It smells amazing,” Jason remarked when he turned onto his back and proceeded to sit. After settling with his back against the white headboard of my bed, his gaze landed on the breakfast I’d made him. “Cara, you’re an angel. I’m starved.”

  “No wonder. You drank yourself sick last night.”

  He winced. “I’ve got a terrible headache.”

  “I’ll fetch you some aspirin,” I said and handed the tray over to him.

  “I love you,” he cooed.

  “I love you too.”

  After locating the aspirin, which I kept in my top drawer in the bathroom, I took the chance to check my phone. I tensed when I saw that William had now seen my message but hadn’t responded. His active status had reduced from seventeen hours to seven minutes. He must be contemplating whether to decline or not.

  With a sigh, I returned to my bedroom and found Jason slowly devouring my cooking. It was obvious from the way his hand trembled that his blood sugar levels had been running terribly low.

  “Thank you,” he said when I placed a pill on the tray.

  Climbing into bed, I sat next to him and rested my back against the headboard. Comfortable silence passed between us for a couple of minutes until Jason broke it.

  “I hardly remember anything from last night.”

  “I’m not surprised. You were completely off your face. I can’t remember the last time I saw you that drunk.”

  He frowned. “I remember bits and pieces, though.”

  Apprehension clasped my heart. Had he heard William and me?

  “Anything in particular?” I asked.

  His frown persisted. “Yeah. Will brought me home, didn’t he?”

  “He did.”

  “Is it just me, or was he acting a bit odd?”

  “Odd how?”

  He was quiet for a beat, thinking. “I don’t remember exactly. I’ve just got this vague memory of him being grumpier than usual.”

  “Perhaps he was tired. He did tell you he’s sick of being your voice of reason only to get ignored.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Honestly, he was in such a mood all of yesterday. Hardly said a word the entire night. It’s not like him.”

  Since I didn’t know what to say, I remained quiet.

  “I think it’s this Sandra bitch he keeps going on about.”

  I almost gasped, but thankfully stifled the urge.

  “Sandra?” I echoed, feigning obliviousness.

  He nodded on a mouthful. After swallowing, he furrowed his brows. “It’s this girl he met a while ago. They slept together, and he was gutted that she didn’t want to see him again. Then, sometime last week, he told me he’d met her again, and that they’ve started messaging each other a bit, but that she still doesn’t seem interested in anything more. To make it worse, he said he’d seen her on a date with another lad – kissing each other and things like that.” He shook his head in blatant disapproval of ‘Sandra’. “I think she’s doing his head in.”

  I hadn’t been aware that William had been talking to Jason about me using my alias, and the news upset me rather a lot. It was nearly impossible to keep a straight face.

  “Poor Will,” I said. “I’m sure Sandra has got her reasons, but I totally get why Will would be upset about that.”

  “Yeah, I get it, but don’t lead the poor man on. I mean, come on. How cruel can you be?”

  Was that the impression William had given him? That I was stringing him along? That was hardly fair, I thought with annoyance. In the end, I hadn’t ever initiated a single conversation.

  Since I didn’t say anything, Jason continued, “I just feel so bad for him because he’s not one to fall for women the way he seems to have fallen for Sandra. I mean, he hardly ever spoke about his ex, Kate. Frankly, I’m not even sure he ever actually loved her since we never got to meet her.”

  I stopped breathing for a moment. Jason had never met Kate? “When you say ‘we’…?”

  “The family.”

  “Well, how long were they together?”

  “About two years.”

  I blinked. That was a substantial piece of information to process. “Shit.”

  “That’s what I’m saying. I’ve never seen him like this. It’s got to be because of her. Nothing else can explain his foul mood as of late – and he insists work’s going fine.”

  “Seems a bit weird, though,” I murmured after a while. “They can’t have interacted all that much if she’s told him she’s not interested in anything more. Have they slept together more than once?”

  “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “Then perhaps it’s not because of her. I hardly think his feelings would become so profound so quickly, especially if he hardly knows her.”

  He reached for his glass of orange juice, and after necking the contents, he put it back with some emphasis. “I don’t know all the details, but I seriously think he’s infatuated.” He shrugged. “I should probably ring him today and ask to come over – try and fish some information out of him. I’m growing worried.”

  My emotions were in chaos upon hearing Jason’s suspicions. I’d realised William wanted to explore more with me, but I hadn’t considered that his feelings could be this profound already. I had thought it was chiefly his ego that I had bruised. If Jason were right, what I intended to do would only hurt all the more, because William was a wonderful man, and most women would be lucky to have caught his interest. He had simply picked the wrong target. I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything at all with him, let alone a relationship. I was committed to myself and my ambitions, and I planned to keep it that way for at least another couple of years until I’d established a career.

  “I’m sure he’d appreciate that,” I eventually said. “Anyway, I need the loo.” Climbing out of bed, I went to the bathroom to recheck my phone, and as luck would have it, William had answered me with a thumbs-up emoji.

  Relieved, I steered my gaze to the mirror, but the fire in my eyes had dimmed. The woman that stared back was less confident than I wanted her to be.

  15

  IF YOU DON’T PLAY, YOU’LL NEVER WIN

  At ten to one, I arrived at the café. While I despised withholding information from Jason, I’d told him I was meeting Aaron to revise when he had asked me where I was headed. I’d even brought my backpack with me to make my lie more convincing, but there were no books inside. Instead, all it contained was a paper bag in which I had placed William’s T-shirt and boxers to return to him. Although I’d washed them, they’d been collecting dust in my wardrobe ever since the morning in his flat.

  Since he wasn’t here yet, I grabbed a vacant spot by the windows so that I could scout for him after I’d placed my order. I left my jacket on the chair to reserve the spot before I approached the queue. While standing there, I took my phone out of my pocket and messaged him to let him know I had arrived.

  ‘I’ll order for you. Black coffee, nothing added, right?’

  He saw it immediately but didn’t reply, and I perceived that as consent. Perhaps he didn’t reply because I’d surprised him by remembering his usual order. After all, he’d only told me once, which was during the morning in his flat.

  I ordered an avocado sandwich for us both as well, and he still hadn’t arrived by the time the order was ready. Carrying it over to the spot I’d chosen, I settled into my seat and scouted the street while I sipped my flat white.

  Some minutes had passed when I caught his figure striding down th
e street on the opposite side. With one hand in his grey trousers’ pocket, the other held a black umbrella to shield him from the rain. For a moment, all I did was admire his elegance. He walked so confidently, so wilfully. His movements conveyed his strong, self-assured spirit. I caught myself smiling, though faintly, when I compared his graceful deportment to John’s. They radiated the same assertive aura that demanded one’s unquestioning respect. Truly, he was the spitting image of his father. I wondered if he knew.

  While it was evident that he knew where he was going, he didn’t search the windows for my presence, and I wondered if it was deliberate. Perhaps he felt too intimidated by the idea of meeting my eyes so soon. He must have sensed that I was looking at him, or perhaps he was too hungover to notice much at all.

  My heart raced when he proceeded to cross the street. Just before he reached the entrance, he put down his umbrella, shook it, and grabbed the door. The bell chimed as he stepped in. Halting in the doorway, he scanned the surroundings to locate me, and once he did, he averted his eyes to close the door after him.

  His approach was swift. “Hi,” he greeted and pulled out the chair at the other end of the table.

  Nervous, I sucked in some air. “Hi.”

  As he shrugged out of his beige coat, I thought that the man had an excellent sense of style. He looked like he’d walked straight out of a fashion magazine, but then I’d always thought that. I knew he favoured formal attire, so it didn’t look like he’d dressed up for the occasion. Frankly, I wondered if he owned a pair of jeans at all.

  “Thanks for ordering,” he said once he’d settled into his seat. “You didn’t have to.”

  “I wanted to.”

  He gazed around, and I got the feeling he hadn’t been here before.

  “Have you been here before?”

  He shook his head.

  “Well, I think you’ll find their food most delectable. Their avocado sandwich is the best.”

  “I wasn’t expecting lunch.”

  “Have you eaten?”

  He shook his head again. “No, but I had expected this to be a brief thing.”

  I rested my elbows on the table and crossed my forearms. “It can be, if you want.”

  “I’m not sure what I want,” he replied, and his honesty took me aback, so I was silent for a beat.

  Unsure of how to proceed, I asked, “How’s the hangover?”

  While reaching for his brew, he arched a brow and kept his eyes on the black liquid. “Manageable.” After a sip, he placed his cup back while saying, “Speaking of, I’m sorry about my behaviour last night.” When he finally met my eyes, I was unable to detect any emotion at all in his. Getting a read on him was impossible. “I was out of order,” he continued. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. You caught me at a bad moment – I was neither prepared nor ready to speak to you.”

  Because I appreciated his apology, I gave him a faint smile. “It’s alright. I understand you must have felt cornered.”

  “Cornered,” he echoed with a chuckle, but he didn’t look at me. Instead, his eyes were fixed on the counter. “That’s one way of putting it. Suppose I did feel a bit ‘cornered’.”

  I had no idea where to start, so I racked my brain for something to say. “Have you spoken to Jason today?”

  He nodded. “He rang about a minute ago, just as I was about to answer your text.”

  I chewed on my lower lip before I stated, “He remains unaware.”

  “Alas, he does.” William leaned back and turned his profile to me to gaze out the window. “I’d hoped we would wake him, but then luck hasn’t been on my side for quite some time.”

  I frowned. “You were trying to wake him?”

  He scoffed. “No. But I wouldn’t have minded if it were a consequence.”

  His reply annoyed me. “Don’t you think that’s a bit imprudent?”

  Finally, his gaze struck mine. “That would depend on what the overall goal is.”

  Leaning back, I folded my arms over my breasts and glared at him. “The overall goal is to keep things civil.”

  “That’s your goal,” he corrected me. “Mine diverges.”

  Though I had an inkling, I asked anyway, “And what, precisely, is your goal, Will?”

  He looked uncomfortable, eyes fleeting. Finally, he said, “To be more than just a fun night to you.”

  An instantaneous crack spread and pained the fibres of my heart. What a horrible thing. He couldn’t be further from the truth.

  Shaken, I replied, “Is that how you think I see you? As a ‘fun night’?”

  He was silent, gaze maintaining an absence from mine.

  Swallowing, I frowned and said, “I don’t, Will – not at all.”

  He moaned and tossed his head back. Despairing, he studied the ceiling. “Then you’re being your own worst enemy.”

  “How am I being that?” I queried, despairing, too. “I’m actually looking out for myself here, and you.”

  He groaned, and his relaxed behaviour mystified me. “No one’s going to care about us. It’s all in your head,” he insisted.

  While I appreciated that he was speaking straight from the heart, I disagreed. “You’re basing that on the premise that we’ll last a lifetime,” I retorted. “You have no guarantee we would. And if things ended badly between us, where do you think that would place Jason? He’s my best friend, Will. I don’t want to put him in a situation where he might have to choose between us, because I know he’ll pick you. I can’t afford to lose him. I won’t take that risk.”

  “You are ever pessimistic.” He studied me as though I were an enigma. “I sometimes don’t understand you at all.”

  I folded my arms tighter. “Perhaps if you actually cared to listen, you would.”

  He chuckled. Leaning forward, he held my gaze, and I was rendered helpless against the powerful spell that danced in his light blue eyes. Ensnared by his beauty, I continued to stare while I sensed myself losing grip on the present.

  “I am listening,” he told me patiently, “and the more I do, the surer I am that you’re making a mistake.”

  “I’m not,” I bit out.

  He shrugged. “Honestly, it’s your loss.”

  I sighed. I didn’t think I’d ever meet someone as stubborn as myself, but here he sat, embodying everything I desired in a man.

  “I wish you’d stop being so difficult,” I said. “I’m trying to look after your best interests here. You need to move on. I’m not right for you.”

  “But you are,” he insisted, as though it were obvious.

  “No, William, I am not.” I leaned forward again to rest my head between my hands. “Listen, I agree our personalities are compatible, but you forget a crucial factor, which is that I am not at a point in my life where relationships are something I want to consider. I’m just not ready for it, and I’m begging you to respect that.”

  Dropping his gaze to his cup, he traced his thumb along the edge of it, seemingly lost in thought. Hoping he was on the cusp of obliging, I added, “You need to stay away from me, Will. I’m scared you’ll end up seriously hurt if you don’t. I can’t give you what you want – for the last time.”

  Eventually, he curved a brow and slowly raised his gaze to meet mine. Upon trapping my eyes, he searched through them and tilted his head. “Why are you so scared to be loved? I’m not saying I do. I just… What’s the issue?”

  It was apparent that he hadn’t grasped ‘the issue’ at all, considering what he had asked. “I’m not scared to be loved,” I replied with a questioning tone. “You misunderstand. I’m scared to find my attention divided. I’m scared to love.”

  Scepticism spilled from his features, so while drawing in a deep breath, I folded my arms and considered how to erase it. To make him understand, I would have to be more thorough in my reasoning than I had initially thou
ght necessary. After all, that I wasn’t interested in a relationship should have been enough to make him back off. However, it was clear that, to respect my wishes, he required an elaborate explanation, and I would oblige.

  “Will, do you remember what I said when we first met?”

  He snorted. “Hard to forget.”

  “Then what did I say?”

  He seemed to find my rhetorical approach somewhat offensive, because his eyes were steely when he peered at me. “That you haven’t got the capacity for a relationship right now. But you based that on the notion that you can’t give your partner enough time. I’m arguing I won’t need much of your time. All I need from you is exclusivity.”

  I nodded. “Right, well, allow me to elaborate.”

  His thumb stopped tracing the edge of his cup. After a brief pause, he leaned back and folded his arms as if to brace himself. “I’m all ears.”

  I sucked in another deep breath and looked out the window to gather my thoughts. “Well, to begin with, I’d like to stress my starting point: I am disinclined to date anyone at all. Like I’ve said, I’m determined to remain focused on my career, and that alone, for another few years.”

  There was a slight twitch of his brows, but other than that, he remained impassive. “Go on.”

  “In other words, the primary purpose of my reluctance to date anyone is that I want to pursue and establish strictly my career right now. Let me repeat that. The reason – the whole fucking purpose – I am avoiding dating is that I am determined to make my dreams of having a prospering career a reality.”

  “Duly noted. Now, explain how dating me would come in the way of that.”

  Facing him, my eyes narrowed as I analysed his expression, but it was impossible to gauge his thoughts.

  “I shall. First of all, this means I would already be difficult when asked to date anyone at all, since it would inevitably mean that I would have to prioritise something other than my ambitions. Entering a relationship – dating in general – requires time, attention and energy that I would much rather invest in establishing my career. This is where you come in, in the role of my fucking boss. If things go south between us, and I should find that I’m not interested in pursuing things further with you – that I don’t want to continue dating you – work will be an awful place for me to be. It will be awkward at best, and detrimental to my career at worst.