When he put it that way, he made my actions sound so much worse. A grimace covered my face while I shook my head. “N-no. I haven’t forgotten.”
“Then what the hell are you thinking?” he hissed impatiently as he scrutinised me. “I won’t let this happen,” he told me, and his tone remained calm and resolute. “I won’t let you do this to us.”
Us. His phrasing tore the fibres of my heart in a way I hadn’t expected. Biting into my lower lip, I folded my arms even tighter.
When I failed to respond, he continued fiercely, “If you sleep with him tonight, or on any other night from now on, that will be the nail in the coffin, Cara. I won’t be able to overlook that. I won’t forgive you.”
The ultimatum made me suck in a deep breath while my heart hammered in my chest. He’d just made it crystal clear that if I went through with this, it would seal our fate, once and for all. He’d move on, and I would permanently lose the option to explore our chemistry. Up until now, I had thought I could recover from that, but now that he had actually placed the gun in my hand, I was hesitant to pull the trigger. Suddenly, what was at stake became much more real to me.
Sensing how conflicted I was, he reached forward to entwine my fingers with his, and the intimacy of his gesture set my feelings ablaze. I didn’t quite know how he did it, but he always managed to pull me back every time I was about to stray. Now, when I stared into the sea of his eyes, denying my lust for him seemed completely absurd. It was thick and dense as it coursed through my veins. Had he proceeded to kiss me right then, I knew I would have returned it.
It crossed my mind that he must have realised as much from the expression on my face, because he soon lowered his head to trail the tip of his nose across mine. Meanwhile, he raised his free hand to brush the back of his fingers across my cheek.
His mouth rested dangerously close to my own, and the warm breeze of his breath teased my lips, beckoning.
“Don’t fuck this up, darling,” he urged, fingers moving into my hair to clasp the back of my neck. Using his thumb, he pushed my jaw to tilt my head back so that I would meet his eyes.
Flustered, I – perhaps too loudly – answered, “What am I supposed to do, Will? Kick him out?”
“Yes.”
He was just about to kiss me when someone I had not anticipated interrupted us. “Am I missing something here?”
I ripped my hand out of William’s hold and turned my head to acknowledge Aaron’s presence. Immediately, guilt flooded my system. Leaning against the wall at the end of the corridor, he stood watching us with his arms folded.
Without stepping away from me, William turned his head to regard him as well. The silence that ensued was deafening. Lost for words, and at a loss about what to do, I covered my face and shook my head to myself.
Since neither of us answered him, Aaron continued, “I was under the impression he was your boss, Cara. Nothing more.”
After a loud sigh, I lowered my trembling hands and met his eyes. What I found in them struck my chest like a bullet.
“Please don’t tell me you’ve slept together,” he murmured, and his voice was achingly quiet. Pushing himself away from the wall, he tucked his hands into his pockets, and I saw them form fists there.
“Aaron, I… It’s complicated,” I said, flustered, and stepped away from William. When I looked into Aaron’s eyes, they were etched with disappointment. I had never seen him like this, and it gnawed at my chest like vicious poison. He looked not only disappointed, but also hurt.
“Aaron,” I prompted when he didn’t respond. Instead, he steered his gaze to William’s hostile expression with a grimace on his face.
“More than once?” he queried, but it was directed at William.
After a glance in my direction, William replied, “Last night wasn’t exactly innocent.”
I studied Aaron with wide eyes, desperate to soothe him, desperate to make amends, but I knew that if I reached for him, he’d only shudder away. He always did when he was upset about something, and this time, he was upset about something I had done.
“That’s strikingly unprofessional. Aren’t you supposed to be her boss?” Aaron retorted.
William raised a brow at him. “It’s not as simple as that.”
“Humour me,” Aaron demanded with a snort.
Revealing his uncertainty, William furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re sure you want to know this?”
Aaron gritted his teeth. “Yes.”
“Your call, I suppose,” William responded with a shrug. “We slept together before her vacation scheme started. As for last night, I suppose we realised that three months was too long a wait.” After a beat, he continued, “You should leave her alone, Aaron. I don’t intend to stop pursuing her, and you won’t win.”
Cringing, I moaned, “William, please stop talking.”
His head whipped around to regard me, and I was struck by how his eyes frosted. “No, I will not. I’ve had quite enough of your disrespectful behaviour, Cara. You’re clearly incapable of handling the situation,” he said venomously. “I will not stand for being treated like this. I’m going to settle this once and for all.” His eyes narrowed accusingly before he continued, “After what happened between us last night, did you really think I was just going to sit idly by while you fuck another bloke? Honestly, what do you take me for?”
“Last I checked, Cara’s single,” Aaron defended me. “Stop speaking as if you’re in a relationship, you entitled prick.”
William turned to glower at him. “That’s rich, coming from you. You’ve just interrogated both of us.”
“She may fuck whomever she wants.”
Seemingly amused, William gave him a lopsided smile. “Then why do you look so upset?”
“William, that’s enough!” I intervened and walked to stand between them.
“Do you know,” William continued, regardless, “when she first mentioned you to me, she compared you to air and said she hardly ever pays you a thought? I just thought you deserved to know of the insignificant light she views you in.”
I gasped. That lawyer in him was bloody ruthless. He was deliberately angling this all wrong just to provoke Aaron. I didn’t care whether he was drunk and acting on emotion. He was crossing the line by miles, and Aaron was an innocent target of his malice. I was the only one deserving of it here.
“That’s bogus!” I rebuked. “You know that’s not how I meant it!” Scared of how Aaron would interpret it, I turned to him. “Aaron, he’s completely twisting my words. When I said that, I was referring to how comfortable you are to be around.”
“Right.” Aaron gnashed his teeth and glowered at William. “I’m not falling for your bullshit. You’re deliberately trying to stir an argument between Cara and me, just to get what you want, and I’m not having it.”
William’s eyes darkened while his jaw clenched and unclenched. Meanwhile, hope filled my chest. Aaron was clearly too clever to fall for William’s manipulative ways.
He scoffed before he continued, “Do you honestly believe that you know her better than I do? We’ve been sleeping together for three years, and there’s a reason for that. We’re best friends. It’s going to take a lot more than a mere fuck-up to ruin that. Besides, we’re not exclusive, so if you think this is going to chase me away, you’re sorely mistaken. And I can tell you one thing for certain – being a dick to her isn’t going to make her warm up to you.”
William reeled in a deep breath before his gaze slid in my direction. His light blue eyes resembled glaciers as they studied me. He looked intensely scary. Without a doubt, Aaron’s immunity to his ways was adding fuel to the fire.
Looking back at Aaron, he said, “I’m not a dick to her. I’ve said nothing but the truth. It’s not my fault she can’t take responsibility for her actions. Frankly, she’s the one being a dick in all this.” He directed his gaze to mine.
“Please, just tell him to leave, Cara. I’m begging you,” he implored, seemingly changing his methods. Instead of trying to stir Aaron’s temper, he was now trying to stir my sympathy and guilty conscience, and it was working. I felt despicable.
What I’d done with him last night had obviously triggered his hope, and by having brought Aaron home with me, I was now brutally murdering it. He must have felt led on, and I loathed myself for it. He didn’t deserve it.
Neither of them deserved this.
However, I hadn’t thought my actions would result in this dreadful scenario – this pissing contest between them. Rationally, I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, as I was perfectly entitled to sleep with whomever I saw fit. I was not William’s girlfriend, and I had told him time and again that I was not inclined to pursue any sort of relationship with him. He had obviously decided to ignore that fact after last night’s events, as if I’d had a change of heart – as if I’d told him I’d had a change of heart. But I hadn’t said that. He had simply read it that way. All I’d told him was that I would consider it, and that was not the same as concurring with his desires.
To top it all off, exclusivity was not part of the arrangement I had with Aaron. So, at the end of the day, I truly hadn’t done anything wrong, but William felt wronged. He had set expectations of me that weren’t justified, rational or realistic – expectations I hadn’t concurred with. Ultimately, emotions I hadn’t predicted were getting involved now. Due to my limited experience with relationships, I hadn’t fully considered the irrational aspect of this. Just because his feelings weren’t justified did not mean they did not exist, and now I was paying the price for my obliviousness, regardless of how unwarranted I might find it to be.
Either way, I found myself both confused and frustrated. I didn’t belong to either of them, but they clearly harboured the strange notion that I did. I was my own, first and foremost, but that didn’t mean that I was not responsible for managing their expectations.
What an utter mess. I dreaded the cleaning job already. This simply could not continue. If I intended to maintain my arrangement with Aaron, I would have to leave William alone altogether, physically speaking. It didn’t matter if he was a grown man and should be considered capable of making the best decisions for himself. If I acted on my lust for him again, he would dive in headfirst, only to guilt-trip me afterwards, just like he was doing now, and I refused to allow that to repeat itself. I was obviously hurting him, and that was not a matter I took lightly. He did not deserve to have his feelings toyed with, even if it hadn’t been my intention.
It was glaringly apparent that I would have to reconsider how I went about things, though I would postpone those contemplations for tomorrow – when I was sober.
“Ever considered that she might be a dick to you because she simply doesn’t like you?” Aaron countered and tilted his head.
That pushed William to the end of his tether. “If that were true, how do you explain the scene you just walked in on?” Aaron’s face contorted upon the hurtful reminder, but William didn’t seem to be finished just yet. “Unlike you, I’m not willing to surrender my integrity to get between her legs. Like you don’t mind her sleeping with others.” His tone was laced with heavy sarcasm. “It’s clear as day that you’re in love with her. The only reason you’re not asking for exclusivity is that you know you won’t get the answer you want. You know that will be the end of you two.”
My jaw nearly unhooked as I processed his preposterous allegation. “William, think before you speak, yeah? You’re well out of order. You’ve got no idea how crazy you sound,” I admonished.
“Hey!” Jason suddenly called. “Everything alright out there?” he continued, and I heard the music quiet down. “Get a move on, Will. We’re growing old waiting for you!” I could hear he was anxious. Aaron’s presence must have unsettled him, too.
“I’ll be there in a moment!” William yelled back and turned his focus on me, clearly awaiting some sort of decision. Meanwhile, I heard the music start again, and it was louder now than before.
“It’s no bother,” Aaron said to William and removed his hands from his pockets. “You can keep playing. Cara and I will just retire to bed.” William shot him a deadly glare at once. Meeting it, Aaron retaliated, “If you’re lucky, you might get to hear her moans again.” My heart faltered at the awful memory he’d deliberately triggered. I didn’t think it could get any worse, but that was before he added, “Although, you won’t be the one causing them this time, either.”
Hearing him, I wished I could have fainted, but instead, I remained conscious to endure the excruciating aftermath. He couldn’t have said anything viler. The painful memory raged in my mind, and I dared not imagine what it was doing to William.
As I continued to process his statement, I found myself utterly appalled by his contemptible insinuation, so I stared disbelievingly at him. How dared he speak of me that way, as if I were an object made to be fucked whenever it suited him. The more I watched him, the angrier I got. “Aaron, how bloody dare you? That was beyond insulting.”
Suddenly, William whirled around and rushed towards the front door. Acting on impulse, I stormed to step in front of him, but he continued to push against me, eyes resolutely set on the exit.
The fear of losing him was made real to me then. He was leaving, and this time, I really thought it might be for good. I regretted everything then. If I had been able to rewind time, I’d have gone back to last night, and I would have told him I’d go on a date with him. I’d have cancelled my plans with Aaron, and I would have embraced the unknown.
Seeing him like this was absolutely devastating. The consequences of my actions were finally catching up with me, and I couldn’t bear them. While I had treasured what I had with Aaron, it had run its course. My future was with William. He was the only one I was meant to be with, and now that he was about to leave my side, it was made abundantly clear to me.
“William, please stay,” I pleaded, but he pushed me aside.
“I can’t,” he growled through his teeth. “I’m this close to striking him, Cara.” He spoke with a voice so cold that the hair rose on my arms. I hadn’t ever heard him speak like that. The threat of violence dripped from his tone.
“Please, don’t leave. I made a mistake. I realise that now. I’m an utter fuck-up, but I swear I’ll fix it. Please,” I begged. “Stay.”
Ignoring me completely, he put on his shoes and ripped the door open. Without another word or so much as a glance at me, he stepped out and slammed the door shut after himself. I jumped at the sound and stared broken-hearted after him, out of touch with reality.
What had I done?
My eyes brimmed with tears. Had I really lost him now? Struggling to collect the broken pieces of myself, it took me quite a while to return to the present, and when I did, I glared at Aaron over my shoulder. “Aaron, leave.”
“I’m sorry,” he hurried to say, as if it would undo what he had just done. “I didn’t mean to insult you. He pissed me off.”
“Get out!”
“Cara, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I was aiming at him, not you.”
“Well, you fucking missed!” I snarled and spun around to pick his shoes up from the floor. After tossing them over to him, I stalked towards my bedroom door and tore it open.
“This is unbelievable,” he said bitterly from the corridor. “I hope you’ll be very happy together,” I heard him continue. Without replying, I went straight to bed to hide under my duvet. A breath later, I heard the main door slam shut, and the sound made me tense under the soft fabric.
From the utter silence that ensued, I realised Jason had switched off the music entirely.
“Cara?” I heard him call for me. I couldn’t reply. My chest started to shake as I dissolved into quiet sobs. I was just so shocked – at everything.
“What the hell’s going on?” Jason
questioned from the doorway.
I allowed my sobs to stream out of my mouth then. William had left, and I doubted he’d ever come back. On top of that, Aaron and I had never had a fight even remotely close to this one in the three years we’d known each other, and it was all because of my obliviousness.
I hated myself intensely. This was all my fault.
If only they would have allowed me to handle it myself instead of acting on my behalf and speaking out of turn. Unlike them, I wouldn’t have gone for anyone’s throat. I’d have tried to explain things calmly and constructively. Instead, the two of them had created a bloody warzone.
“Where’s Will?” Jason asked.
“He left,” I cried.
“Aaron?”
“I kicked him out!”
He walked over to climb into my bed. “Oh, come here, love,” he cooed when he found my trembling figure under the duvet.
“They were so nasty to each other, Jason!” I complained through stifled sobs and attacked his neck with an embrace. His mollifying scent was precisely what I needed right now.
“Tell me what happened.”
“My stupid decisions!”
“Cara, you’ll need to be more specific.”
“I shouldn’t have brought Aaron home with me,” I tried to explain. “Why didn’t you warn me that poker night had been moved here? I could have avoided all this. Not that I’m blaming you, I just…”
He tucked my head under his chin and squeezed me tightly. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware you’d be home so soon, and I honestly thought you’d be spending the night at Aaron’s since the bash was being held there.”
“Well, you were wrong,” I croaked back.
“I know, and I’m so sorry. Had I known you’d be bringing him home with you, I obviously wouldn’t have agreed to host it here.”
“I thought you were meant to be at Stephen’s?”
“We were, but Giselle had to take an early shift at the café in the morning. A barista called in sick, so we thought we’d show some consideration and do it here instead.”
Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series Page 39
