Battered Not Broken

by Rose, Ranae

  She’d grown tighter than ever during their medically and circumstantially induced period of abstinence. The way his hardness stretched her channel as she sank lower and lower made her want to wail. But his entrance had left her breathless, so she gasped instead.

  He fucked her from below, his strokes deep but gentle. “Not hurting you, am I?”

  She shook her head. The motions didn’t hurt her arm at all. They might have a few days ago, when she’d first been released from the hospital, but she’d healed enough since then for this.

  “Good.” He rocked her with steady motions, his rhythm searing her from the inside and warming her outside, too.

  She’d felt close to him over the last few days, an attachment that had been forged by pain, violence and a love she’d finally admitted out loud. But this was different. It was physical but peaceful, forceful but not aggressive. It was a give and take that perfectly matched the tempo of her heartbeat, that pushed her to the edge of pleasure without aggravating the wounds that harsher events had left her with a week ago. And it melted something inside her, softening all the strange and bitter feelings that had crystallized in her heart and mind over the past seven days.

  So when she came, it wasn’t just a physical release, but a mental one, too. Her entire body trembled as her inner muscles pulled tight around the hard shaft of Ryan’s cock, sending her rocketing to a peak with a shuddering gasp.

  Maybe her quick climax had taken him by surprise. He groaned and slid his good hand between her thighs, rubbing the pad of his thumb over her clit in a circular motion.

  The extra stimulation went straight to her core, amping up her orgasm as she sank lower, letting all of her weight rest on his thrusting hips.

  He didn’t seem to mind the burden. He kept fucking her with unrelenting intensity, his fingers working magic against the hard bud of her clit.

  She tightened all her internal muscles, purposely gripping him as tightly as she could. The resulting sensations were so intense they almost bowled her over. In her mind’s eye, she could see herself falling forward, sprawling across his chest as he plunged into her from below, making her entire body move in response to his. She held out for the sake of her arm, willing strength into her thigh muscles. Riding him never really felt like work until he made her come so hard that her bones seemed to turn to jelly.

  The next few moments passed in a haze of spasming muscles, hard thrusts and rushing breath. When they were over, Ally opened her eyes, which she couldn’t remember closing in the first place.

  Ryan was staring up at her, his eyes half-hooded but bright blue beneath the fringe of his lashes. His lips were parted, their curves full beneath the fading scars of his last fight. He wasn’t breathing as hard as she was, but he hadn’t come yet, either.

  Bearing down with her hips and giving him a deliberate internal squeeze, she pushed him over the edge.

  He groaned and swore, squeezing his eyes shut as he thrust hard, tunneling deep inside her and withdrawing a moment later to do it again and again, touching the same hidden place each time.

  Coming twice had left her so tender inside that it almost felt as if she were climaxing again, her pleasure plateauing at an incredible level, punctuated every couple moments by the friction of his cock against her drawn-in walls.

  When it was over, it was a welcome relief to slide off of him and recline on the mattress at his side, simply allowing her breathing to slow, growing a little steadier with each passing moment. The tension that had been plaguing her for the past five days had been reduced, leaving her feeling miraculously light.

  After a while, he finally helped her dress. She’d mostly given up on bras after coming home from the hospital – they were impossible to hook with one hand, and sharing the task with Ryan was more trouble than it was worth when they weren’t going to be leaving the apartment anyway. So when he helped her into a black t-shirt, her nipples stood out small and hard beneath the soft fabric.

  His gaze lingered on them when she turned to face him.

  “My parents called when you were in the shower this morning.” His tone was remarkably calm for someone who’d thrown his phone so hard it had broken less than two weeks ago when his parents had reestablished contact. “They mailed plane tickets. Sent them via overnight express. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

  Ally swallowed a slight knot that had formed in her throat. “When is our flight?”

  “Four days from now. I told them we’d need a little time to tie up loose ends.”

  Ally nodded, her mind whirling. Four days. How would she spend them? What would she do, and what wouldn’t she, before leaving the city she’d spent her entire life in?

  “On one of those days, I’d like you to come with me to Quantico.”

  “Quantico?”

  He nodded. “I’m going to take my Marine Corps friend up on his offer before we leave. It might be my last chance to see him for a while.”

  “Are you sure you want me to come?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” He shot her a faint grin, his first smile in at least a week. “At least if you come along, it’ll look like I’ve accomplished something during the past year.”

  Her lips trembled then curled into an involuntary smile. “Some trophy girlfriend I’ll make with my arm in this sling.”

  He shrugged, raising his own injured arm. “We match.”

  “Yeah, we match like a pair of cracked salt and pepper shakers match.”

  “I’ll take that. It makes me look a little less pathetic.”

  She leaned in and wrapped her free arm around him, letting her belly press against his and her breasts be compressed against his chest. “Are you sure you want to return to New York?” She had to ask. He’d been so dead-set against it so recently.

  “Absolutely sure. The shooting, Manny and everything really put things into perspective. Keeping you safe is a lot more important than my pride. Besides, I’m going to pay my parents back for the moving expenses. And I’ll accept a job, but I’ll work for my paychecks, too. It’s not like I’ll be living off their charity.”

  Ally squeezed him tighter, breathing in the scent of laundry detergent that saturated his shirt and savoring the fainter notes of his unique, masculine smell. “I spoke to mamá this morning. She wants to stay in Frederick County with my uncle.” Maria had a brother who lived there, about an hour from Baltimore, and she’d gone to stay with him after Ally had been discharged from the hospital.

  “Is she sure? Because if she wants to come to New York, I’ll make it happen. She won’t be alone and she won’t have to struggle.”

  “She doesn’t want to move that far away. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to visit my father.”

  Ally would miss her mother and worry about her to no end, but she understood. The thought of spending the remainder of her father’s last year in prison two states away hurt just to think about. She’d do her best to make it back for infrequent visits, but still… It wouldn’t be the same as before, and before had never been enough.

  “Well, it’s her choice. Maybe when your father finishes his sentence, they’ll consider moving to New York together. Seems like they both could use a fresh start.”

  “Maybe.” Ally took a deep, fortifying breath, savoring his scent. Four days and she’d be on a plane to New York, where she’d live indefinitely. With Ryan. Sometimes, she was afraid she’d wake up and realize that the past month had all been a dream – alternately sweet and nightmarish, searingly hot at times. But the healing bullet wounds in her arm reminded her that the past few weeks had been anything but a product of her imagination, and Ryan’s touch grounded her. “So you’re sure about all of this. Really sure?”

  Ryan held her gaze. “I used to have nightmares every night about Afghanistan. Dreams where I was still out in the desert, stuck in a mission that wouldn’t end until the Humvee I was riding in drove into the range of some shitty but bizarrely effective homemade bomb. And I’d know it was coming, but I wouldn’t be able to stop i
t.

  “Other times I’d dream that I was going back to be a part of the Marine Corps again, to put my uniform back on and return to the desert to do it all over again. Part of me would be terrified and another part of me would be so fucking glad I couldn’t stand it, because maybe if I could go back I could redeem myself, be a part of something again and stop my life from coming to a standstill where all I did was hurt and wait for it all to be over. But you know what I’ve been dreaming about for the past week?”

  “What?”

  “You being shot. Me losing you. It all ending just after you came into my life and lit up all the dark corners, making me feel like maybe I didn’t fuck up so bad after all. Or at least, if I did, I could get over it, and there was more to life than being angry and empty and bored with the whole damn world.”

  Her pulse picked up pace, each beat marking a moment that let his words sink in a little deeper.

  “I dream about losing you because that’s become my worst fear, because even when I’m asleep my brain doesn’t stop trying to work out a way to keep it from happening. So yeah, I’m sure I want you to come to New York with me. I’m sure I want to live with you. I want to be with you more than I want anything, and I’m not afraid to admit it.”

  She breathed a sigh, his name on the tip of her tongue. It definitely seemed that the shooting and subsequent events had emboldened him. And if he could be brave enough to say what he was really feeling, she could be brave enough to accept it. “Then I’m not afraid to go with you.” She had been, at first, but no more.

  * * * * *

  Maria. Melissa and Trisha. Cameron, Sanchez and a handful of other Knockout gym members. Ryan’s Marine Corps friend in Quantico. Many of Ally’s local extended family members. And Manny, or rather, his grave. Those were the people Ally and Ryan had spent the last of their time in Baltimore with.

  The visits had gone by quickly, and their last four days in the city even more so. Ally replayed their time with each individual and group during her and Ryan’s flight. It was either that or try to imagine what it would be like in New York.

  She’d never been there, so her imaginings were limited to the skyline and inner-city screen shots she’d seen during hundreds of movies and TV shows. The city would be bigger and busier than Baltimore – that was for sure. Other than that, it was hard to know what to expect, mostly because the quality of their time there would hinge less on the local scenery and life and more on Ryan’s relationship with his family.

  He’d arranged everything about the move over the phone, discussing the details with his parents and laying plans so that when he and Ally arrived, they’d have a place to stay. Already, an apartment was waiting for them. Ryan’s mustang would be transported from Maryland to New York and once they arrived, he’d be meeting with his father to discuss possible positions for him at Greene & Jacobs Industries, the multinational construction firm his father served as CEO of.

  To say that it was all a bit surreal would’ve been the understatement of the century. Ryan seemed to accept their new role with a steadfast sort of tolerance, tinged with a hint of resignation. When Ally thought of their new life, it was with wonder. She worried too, of course, about what the transition would be like for Ryan. Still, being whisked away to New York for a fresh start felt weirdly like someone had waved a magic wand over her life, plunging her into a new reality that wouldn’t have been possible by ordinary means.

  Then again, as far as she was concerned, money was extraordinary means. The ease with which Ryan’s parents spent it, arranging flights and readying an apartment within a few days’ time, was alien, almost incomprehensible. It made the only hint of wealth she’d ever associated with Ryan before – his car – seem modest. But even if he didn’t like it, he was used to it, or had been at one point, anyway. So she did her best to not seem amazed at every turn.

  When she looked back on things, there had been little signs of Ryan’s above-average upbringing. His car, which his parents had bought for him during his college years, for one. And even the wine savviness he’d displayed on their first date. At the time, she’d viewed those things as pleasant anomalies, not realizing the early life of privilege they’d reflected.

  “How are you doing?” Ryan placed a hand over hers, squeezing lightly. They’d purposely sat so that their uninjured arms were side by side, almost rubbing at the shoulders. That way, they could touch and hold hands when they wanted.

  “Fine.” A hint of heat crept into her cheeks. That morning, she’d confessed to Ryan that she’d never flown before. He’d seemed extra-attuned to her ever since, watching her out of the corner of his eye and asking her how she was doing every so often.

  “Good. We’re almost there.” He picked up the little plastic cup from the tray he’d folded down over his lap. There were a few drops of ginger ale left in the bottom. He drained the rest of the drink and let an ice cube slip into his mouth.

  They’d departed from Dulles in DC and the flight to New York City was only about an hour and ten minutes long. So far, about an hour had ticked by. It seemed like an absurdly short trip, in light of what she was leaving behind. A little over an hour and she’d land on tarmac in a state she’d never stepped foot in before, officially beginning a new life that she never could have imagined for herself, even in her strangest dreams.

  A voice sounded over the intercom, announcing that they’d begun their descent.

  “Things might get a little shaky,” Ryan warned, giving her hand a light squeeze.

  But the landing went smoothly. In what seemed like mere moments, the plane had landed and Ally was filing down the narrow aisle with Ryan behind her, guiding her with a hand against the small of her back.

  Flying hadn’t scared her, but she enjoyed his comforting gestures anyway. Together, they made their way to the baggage claim. Ryan strode through La Guardia airport like he’d done it a hundred times before. Maybe he had.

  “Good thing we packed light,” he said when they’d each retrieved their single suitcase. “I don’t think we’d get very far with more than this.”

  With their good hands occupied by the luggage, they were no longer able to touch or hold hands. Instead, they walked side by side, close to one another.

  Ally let him lead the way and followed him through the airport. They took a cab to the address his parents had mailed him days ago, along with a key. She sat by the window and watched the city slip by, curiosity driving her to observe what she could about her new home.

  Their apartment was in Brooklyn – not that she could differentiate between that and any other part of the city yet. Ryan had requested a place there, to be relatively close to work. In his words it would be “nothing extravagant, but not shitty, either”. Ally’s palms sweated a little as she tried to envision what their new living space might look like.

  Forget square footage and amenities – just the thought of having her own home with Ryan was so ridiculously exciting she could hardly stand it. For a moment, she felt as if she’d been caught in the guard of a steel-thighed fighter. Her stomach contracted and she felt the tiniest bit nauseous. The feeling was due to nervousness, not fear. The sensation passed though, leaving her to contend with the butterflies in her stomach during the rest of the ride.

  When the cab finally rolled to a stop, it idled in front of a sand-colored high-rise. It was a narrow box of a building, its front lined with half a dozen trees trimmed in the shape of lollipops. Steel balconies extended from some of the units. From the outside, it sounded about like Ryan had described – not extravagant, exactly, but certainly not shitty, either.

  Ryan paid the driver and they took their suitcases.

  “Come on, baby.” Ryan motioned for her to follow and they approached the entrance. There was a doorman, a fitness center, and as they stepped into an elevator, Ryan said something about the roof being terraced.

  Basically, it was nothing like her old home in Baltimore. At all. But then, she hadn’t expected it to be.

  Thei
r unit was on the sixth floor. Ryan used the key his father had mailed him, turning it in the brass knob’s lock to gain entry. When the door swung inward, it didn’t make a sound, only opened silently into their new home.

  “Well, I’d carry you over the threshold,” Ryan said, “but something tells me it would be more clumsy than romantic with my arm in this cast.”

  She gave him a small smile as he stepped inside and she followed.

  Their suitcases rolled across honey-colored wooden floorboards as they entered the foyer, a small area that boasted a row of coat hooks and a simple wooden shelf above that.

  Ryan locked and bolted the door behind them. “Shall we give ourselves a tour?”

  “Sure.”

  They left their suitcases in the foyer and began exploring, starting with the door to the right of the entry way. It opened into a bathroom done in cream-colored tile and clean white fixtures. It was relatively spacious and full of tasteful contradictions, like the sleek modern showerhead above an old-fashioned looking claw-footed tub.

  Next was the kitchen, which was a little bigger than the one she’d had at home. It too was tiled and filled with appliances that looked brand new. Even small ones, like a blender and toaster. “There are pots and pans,” Ally said, eyeing the pristine set of cookware that hung from a gridded light fixture above the stove. “Did those come with the apartment?”

  Ryan walked slowly through the kitchen, running a hand over the countertop. “I don’t know.”

  There were other things in the apartment that seemed both at home and out of place at the same time. Like the bed in the single large bedroom, and the sheets, blankets and pillows that covered it. And the cherry wood dresser that stood in one corner.

  A sinking suspicion filled Ally when she saw it, and she pulled open the drawers one by one, half fearing that they’d be filled with clothing.

  They were empty.

  The living area was the largest and most impressive room in the house. It was open and took up about half the apartment’s square footage, boasting two panoramic windows that framed views of the city beyond. A dark beige leather couch and matching loveseat gave it a comfortable feel, and an empty oaken bookcase stood in one corner, ready to be filled.