“That’s why you’ve hated me all this time?” I shook my head. “Because I got the pearls?”
“Maybe.” She sniffed and wiped her fingers under her eyes. “But also, because you’re ridiculous. Who spends all school day in the music room and skips parties to stay at home? You’re lucky you’re not a total social outcast.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. That was about as close as a compliment as I could ever expect to get from Savannah.
“I wish you would’ve told me this years ago,” I said, frowning. “It could’ve saved us a lot of pain.”
If Savannah had told me then, I couldn’t be sure what I would’ve done. But at least I would’ve known. And maybe we could’ve come to an agreement. An arrangement that hadn’t torn apart our friendship.
“Maybe.” She shifted her feet and looked away. “But Grandma Ivy didn’t call me her iron-willed girl for nothing. She knew long ago what I was.”
“I remember that,” I said with a smile. “And she used to call me her head-in-the-clouds darling. I guess she had us both pegged.”
“I guess.” Savannah smiled weakly. “I miss her.”
“I do, too.”
It was funny how much I could miss someone who wasn’t around anymore. Sometimes, I would walk by an herb garden and catch a strong whiff of rosemary, reminding me of my Grandma Ivy and the herbs she would grow in the window sill of her kitchen. Other times, I would hear a song on the radio that the three of us used to dance to in the kitchen while we baked. Those were the times I missed her the most.
And times like these, when I was reminded about the boy who’d broken my heart.
Savannah straightened her uniform and brushed back her sleek ponytail. Lifting her nose in the air, she pinned me with an emotionless gaze. “All right, newbie. I’m letting you off the hook just this once. But I expect you to be fully prepared for the centennial performance. Do I make myself clear?”
I smiled softly and nodded. It seemed that, if only for the moment, Savannah and I had come to an understanding. How long that would last, I couldn’t know. But I’d take it.
She marched back the way she’d come, no doubt to lead the squad in a few end of game routines to cheer up the crowd. She was good at her job. No one could deny that.
I grabbed my mascot head and walked toward the exit, fully ready to peel this costume off of me. The only thing I wanted tonight was a warm bath and a few minutes to run through the centennial song. When she’d heard Collin had officially dropped out of school, Mrs. Banks had begrudgingly allowed me to continue as a solo. I’d been practicing nonstop, but I could tell my heart wasn’t in it.
And as I trudged through the school parking lot toward the locker rooms, I suddenly got the feeling that someone was watching me. Looking up, I spotted a familiar black motorcycle pulled up alongside the curb. Sitting on top of it was someone I’d never expected to see again.
Collin was staring at me, the semi-darkness of the evening hiding his expression. I froze, unsure how to respond. Part of me wanted to run to him and kick over his motorcycle while he sat on top of it. Another part of me wanted to break down and cry.
And as my stomach filled with an icy numbness, Collin revved his motorcycle, turned, and sped out of the parking lot. I watched him go as Trina and Mandy came up behind me, each of them placing a hand on my shoulder.
Mandy cleared her throat. “Was that...?”
I nodded and she squeezed my arm. No explanation necessary. I’d finally spilled all of my secrets about Collin and me to them this weekend. Despite my apprehension, they hadn’t been shocked to find out we’d kissed.
“I’m sure he regrets what he did,” Trina added quietly. “He misses you.”
Maybe she was right, but at that moment it didn’t matter. Collin had said that we were never going to change. That he would never learn how to love and I would never stop putting other people’s happiness above my own. If I was going to prove him wrong, I was going to have to start taking a step in a different direction.
“Would you guys mind helping me with something for the centennial performance?” I asked, turning to look at each of them. “I have an idea, but I’m going to need your expertise.”
They both eagerly agreed and then wrapped their arms around me, easing some of the pain I still carried around with me.
No matter how much he’d hurt me, no matter how much I wanted to hate his guts, it was hard to forget that beneath that tough exterior, Collin was just like any other teenager.
We were all just trying to find our way.
And it was time I found my own.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I’d never been any good at keeping secrets. In fact, I was pretty horrible at it. So when I begged Mom to take me to the coffee shop down the street Saturday morning, without a good reason why, she interrogated me the entire walk as if I were suspected of robbing a bank.
“What’s so important to drag me out of bed at 9 a.m. on a Saturday?” she prodded, giving me a suspicious smile. “Why does Lexi get to sleep in?”
“Because I needed to do this by myself,” I said, opening the door to The Bean and letting her walk in first. “And...I wanted to talk to you and Dad alone.”
Mom froze, her gaze pinpointing on Dad sitting in the back of the shop with his hands around a cup of coffee. His eyes widened when he saw us, his spine straightening. This had been a surprise for him as well. I’d texted him early this morning, asking to meet. It was time we all sat down together.
“Is this some kind of intervention?” Mom asked, her expression guarded.
“Sort of. More for me than for you. Is that okay?”
She glanced over at me, her face softening. “Of course, honey. We’re still your parents and we love you.”
Her words gave me courage. After ordering our drinks at the coffee bar, we took the remaining seats around the table Dad had saved and sat in awkward silence for a full minute. Despite the fact that I’d rehearsed this conversation over and over again last night, I wasn’t sure how to continue. In fact, I was pretty sure this was what cold feet felt like, but this was step one on the Audrey 2.0 express plan, and it had to be done.
“I asked you both here because we needed to talk,” I began, staring down at the table. A crack ran through the wood, splintering off into a fork at one edge. I ran my fingertips over it, feeling the slight grooves. “For a long time, I wanted the two of you to work things out and get back together.”
“You know that can’t happen, sweetie,” Mom said, covering my hand with hers.
I nodded, swallowing down the lump that had formed in my throat. “I know. And I don’t want that anymore.”
Lifting my chin, I steadied myself. Collin had said that I was too scared to tell my dad exactly why I was so angry with him. He didn’t think I could change. But I was determined to be better than that. I would prove him wrong.
“Dad, I’ve been angry at you for a long time,” I started, glancing up into his brown eyes. He blinked at my confession, a frown pulling at his lips. “You tore our family apart. Practically married a stranger. It felt like you were starting over with a new family. A redo. It made me wonder if I wasn’t good enough for you and I think I was afraid of finding out if that was true. So I pushed you away.”
Dad’s eyes reflected my own hurt and concern. The muscles in his jaw tensed and released as I spoke, his hands fidgeting with the coffee cup in his hand. “I’m sorry, mija. I made a lot of mistakes and I won’t try to make excuses for myself. But it was never my intention to start over. Marie knows that. You and Lexi are still my little girls and I’ll love you forever.”
I tried to smile at him. “I’m glad. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” He reached over and squeezed my hand.
The release of tension off my shoulders was like taking off a backpack filled with AP History textbooks. It felt good to be free of that baggage. The relief spurred me on.
“Mom, I asked you to come because I
’ve been hiding things from you, too.” Mom eyed me over her cappuccino, her gaze unsure. “I know you’ve been sad since the divorce. And I guess I felt responsible for your happiness. The only reason I joined the cheerleading team was because you said you loved it as a kid and I thought maybe it would give you something to be proud of.”
She tilted her head and frowned. “But I am proud of you, honey. So proud. You don’t have to go around worrying about me. Yes, I’ve been dealing with some issues, but that’s not your burden to bear. And I’m sorry for not making that clear in the first place.”
It felt good to hear her say that. It was nice to return to the simple role of a kid, without the worry that my mom wasn’t going to recover. I’d underestimated her. Looking at her now, I could see that she was much stronger than I’d given her credit for. All this time, I’d assumed I’d gotten my stubbornness and strength from my dad, but it was clear that I’d gotten some of it from her, too.
“I’m sorry, too.” I forced out a laugh and shook my head. “And I’m sorry, but I hate cheerleading. Savannah is a total dictator. The only reason she was able to force me into that mascot costume was because I wanted to make you happy.”
Mom laughed and covered her mouth with her fingers. “Honey, the only reason I supported you was because I thought this was something you wanted to do for yourself. I never would’ve asked you to wear that thing. It stinks like wet dog.”
“That’s what I’ve been told.” I shook my head and smiled up at the ceiling. “I have to admit, the thing’s grown on me.”
Dad gave me a wary expression. “Like a fungus? Because I wouldn’t be surprised with how old it is.”
I laughed. “No, not a fungus. But I think I’ll miss the old raccoon after football season ends.”
“Does that mean you’re quitting?” Mom arched an eyebrow. “Because if you want to, you totally have my permission. I know you and Savannah don’t exactly get along.”
I rolled my eyes. “Understatement of the century, Mom. But no, I’m not quitting. At least not yet. And I’ve got plans for Savannah, too. Don’t you worry. This is a whole new me. A whole new Audrey. I’m not afraid anymore.”
“Do I even want to ask?” Dad chuckled. “Or is this on a need-to-know basis?”
Downing the rest of my coffee, I grinned across the table at him. He wasn’t getting a thing out of me. “I think it’s safer to wait for the big reveal. Just don’t be late to the centennial pregame performance.”
“Okay...”
He and Mom exchanged concerned glances, humor twinkling in their eyes. For a moment, it felt like we’d reversed time and it was a year ago, when everything was still whole.
But looking back, even then, things weren’t fine. Mom and Dad constantly fought. They could hardly be in the same room together and when they were, everything was so tense. Things might have changed. Our family might have been torn in two, but at least now we could move forward.
“Speaking of the centennial performance.” Mom took a hesitant breath. “Have you heard from Collin lately?”
The sound of his name made me wince. It had been a week since we’d last spoken, but the wound was still raw.
“No, he’s working with his dad at a garage an hour away,” I said, playing with my empty cup. “We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”
That was putting it mildly. Still, he was the one who’d stopped by the parking lot last night. Maybe it was to see how his team was doing without him. Or maybe, it was to see me. Either way, I wished he would’ve said something.
“He’ll come around, sweetie,” Mom said. “I promise.”
Dad grunted and shook his head. “It better be soon, that’s all I can say. Our boys will never make it to the state playoffs without him. Rock Valley High needs Collin Preston.”
He was right. Rock Valley High needed him. But more than anything, Collin needed Rock Valley High. And if he wasn’t going to stay long enough to talk to me, I was going to have to go to him.
I’d hunted him down once before into a boy’s locker room.
I could do it again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I’d never skipped school before today, but I’d never had such a good reason. Looking down at the phone in my trembling hand, I reread the text from Ally for the hundredth time. He would be here. This was where we’d find Collin.
“Are you sure this is the right place?” Trina peered through the windshield at the building wrapped with corrugated steel siding in front of us. It backed up to a junk yard filled with rusted vehicles.
I stared at the three wide open garage doors in front of us. “Yep, this is the address Ally sent me. This is where he works.”
My heart was doing an Irish jig on my lungs at the moment. When I’d told my best friends that I wanted to skip lunch Monday and drive an hour away to talk to Collin, they’d been all in. It was nice to have them along. If I’d come by myself, I might’ve taken one look at this place and turned around.
“It’s...uh...homey,” Mandy said from the backseat. Her lips twisted into a grimace and she patted me on the arm. “Go get him, A.”
Opening the door, I slid out of the car and shielded my eyes from the surprisingly bright November sun. The place was quiet, although several vehicles were parked in the front lot. Two cars waited inside the garage and another had been lifted high into the air. The air smelled of engine grease and burnt rubber.
I steadied myself for what was about to come. This was no time to get tongue-tied. I had something I needed to say to Collin. Something to get off my chest. And one very important question.
Striding forward with as much confidence as I could muster, I walked toward the open bays. A big man with oil-stained hands was working under the hood of a mini-van. He looked up when I approached, barely glancing at me.
“If you’re doing a drop-off, you’ll need to take the keys inside,” he said in a deep voice.
“No...um. I’m looking for Collin Preston.”
He glanced at me again with disinterest. “He’s working on the Chevy Cavalier.”
I nodded my thanks and walked toward the white car on the other side of the garage. A pair of legs clad in blue overalls stuck out from underneath. My heart stuttered, knowing that those legs belonged to Collin. I willed myself to be calm as I walked up to him and cleared my throat.
“I’ll be done in a minute, George,” Collin said in a muffled voice.
“Collin? Do you have a minute to talk?”
His entire body froze and I wondered for a moment if he was going to play dead until I gave up and left. But then he pushed himself out from under the car, his eyes looking up at me in shock. There was a grease stain on his cheek, but other than that, he looked very much like the Collin who’d left Rock Valley High only a week ago. I tried not to stare as he pushed himself off the ground and wiped his hands on a nearby rag.
“Audrey, what are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.” I looked around at the garage. The big man was still working nearby on the van. “Is there someplace we can talk?”
Hesitation entered his eyes, but he exhaled loudly and nodded his head.
“Allen, I’m going for my break,” he yelled.
I followed him out of the garage and around the building. He walked about fifty yards into the rows of junk cars and then stopped in front of an old Toyota pickup. The windshield was cracked, but the cab looked to be in pretty good order. Opening the driver’s side door, he nodded his head for me to get in. I went to climb through, accidentally brushing up against his shoulder. The thrill that went through my body nearly destroyed me.
As quickly as I could, I slid to the other side to make room for him. He sat, leaving at least two feet of empty space between us. Shutting the door, he cut off the chill of the wintery breeze that had me shivering in my oversized sweater.
“Audrey, I don’t think—”
“Wait, I have to do this before I chicken out,” I said, gritting my teeth. “Please, l
et me say what I’ve come here to say and then you can order me to leave and never come back. You at least owe me that.”
He frowned and then nodded his head, his gaze glued to my face. I hated seeing the sadness in his eyes. I would’ve given anything in that moment to see that stupid lopsided grin of his once again. Anything at all.
“As you know, the last time we talked, it didn’t go so well,” I began, looking down at my hands. “I was so hurt that I tried to back out of the song. Told Mrs. Banks I wanted to quit, but she wouldn’t let me. So I went to your house and Ally told me you’d left to go live with your dad. You didn’t even say goodbye.”
Collin shifted in his seat. I glanced over at him to see his eyes closed, pain wracking his face.
“And at first, I hated you for it. For everything you said to me that night. You accused me of being scared. You told me that I was only concerned with everyone else’s happiness. I thought you were totally just being a jerk, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized you were right.”
“I had no right to say those things to you,” he said in a low voice. He opened his eyes to look at me. “No right.”
“Maybe.” I tilted my head to the side. “But you also said that neither of us could ever change. And I’m here to tell you that you were wrong about that.”
His eyes narrowed in confusion. I slid closer to him, my voice steadying.
“Since you left, I’ve sat down with my parents and told them everything. I told my dad why I was so angry with him. I told my mom that I’d only joined the cheerleading team to make her happy. I laid it all out and I finally realized, I’m not scared anymore.”
He blinked at the gear shift between us, his jaw working. I couldn’t help but wish at that moment that I could touch his face, run my fingers through his messy hair. He’d hurt me so bad, but my body still responded to him. It still craved him.
Dare You to Kiss the Quarterback (Rock Valley High Book 1) Page 16
