The Silver Cord: The Lily Lockwood Series: Book Two

by Alison Caiola

  When Lily was younger, she was often a frequent flyer to the “Land Of What Ifs.” Her mother could always recognize the early signs that Lily was sinking into that negative place. Daisy would get in Lily’s face and refuse to leave until her daughter latched onto the emotional life preserver she was throwing to her. Lily used to imagine that sunlight and optimism coursed through Daisy’s veins and any wisp of negativity that dared to tread anywhere near Daisy would shrivel and die.

  Lily never told her mother, but often there were times when she derived great comfort being in ‘The Land of What Ifs.’ Daisy would never understand that it gave Lily comfort to feel prepared just in case disaster happened. Her friends never understood and when she would have her obsession du jour, they would tell her to lighten up or stop being so negative.

  After Daisy died and throughout her pregnancy, Lily would often visit ‘The Land of What Ifs,’ obsessing over terrible things that might possibly occur:

  What if there were a serious medical problem?

  What if the baby was not normal?

  What if she or her baby died in childbirth?

  What if she was a terrible mother?

  What if she didn’t love her baby?

  What if her baby didn’t bond with her?

  What if she couldn’t breast feed?

  It could go on and on like that for days. And when it did, Auntie D., Tommy, and Fernando would do everything they could to pull her out of the murk.

  When Hanna and David told her about Robbie’s situation, she was immediately thrown into the whirlwind of activity surrounding his rescue. It was quite interesting that, at that time, Lily did not experience any of her usual anxiety. They were in crisis mode—things were happening at warp speed— and she was surrounded by frightening events. She’d had no time to imagine or obsess over things that could possibly happen. But tonight, on the eve of what conceivably could be one of the happiest days of her life, she lay in bed and virtually booked her passage and voyaged to the worst-case scenario.

  Tonight’s journey to ‘The Land of What Ifs’:

  What if Robbie never loved her?

  What if he’d felt relieved when he left her?

  What if Chloe, not Lily, was the love of Robbie’s life?

  What if Robbie was disappointed that it was she and not Chloe visiting?

  What if as soon as he was well he went back to Chloe?

  What if he never got well?

  Two hours later, she drifted off to sleep.

  The alarm clock rang at exactly 7:15 a.m. Lily pushed the “off” button and continued to apply her mascara. She had awakened an hour before the alarm was scheduled to go off and had already showered and gotten dressed. The thought of seeing Robbie launched a flutter of butterflies in her stomach—a welcome relief from the shackles of fear and anxiety that had held her captive fewer than ten hours earlier. She shook off the memory of the past evening and concentrated on Robbie. He had survived an ordeal that could certainly have killed him—that’s all she planned to focus on.

  She’d received a text from David at 5:00 a.m. telling her that he had spent the night at Robbie’s bedside in the I.C. U. and that Robbie was doing so well that they planned to move him to the surgical floor in the morning. David had just gotten back to the hotel and wanted to get some sleep, but would meet her later at the hospital.

  Lily took one last look in the mirror and was relieved to see that the dark circles from the day before had now disappeared. She took a deep breath and held it before exhaling. After two long years, she would finally get to see the love of her life.

  The nurse at the desk pointed to the last room on the right—435. As Lily walked down the hallway, she recalled the first time she had met Robbie. It was coincidentally also in a hospital. After Daisy’s accident, she had left her mother’s hospital room to visit David, who had also been admitted to the hospital. At that time, Lily had no clue who David was and what his relationship was with Daisy. She certainly did not know that he was the son Daisy had given up for adoption. She was visiting him because he had been in the car with her mother when they’d had the accident that killed Daisy. Lily did not yet know if he was Daisy’s friend or even a younger man with whom Daisy had been having a secret relationship. Lily wanted to find out the events that led up to the crash.

  When she walked into David’s room, she saw someone seated next to the bed, his back to the door. Both of them were laughing.

  She smiled at David. “Hi, I’m Lily. I promised I would stop by, but if you have company…”

  The visitor stood up and turned around. Lily felt as if the air had been knocked out of her. It was more than just the stranger’s wavy dark hair, blue eyes, and dimples. He had a special aura about him. She felt an electric shock go through her as she looked into his crystal-blue eyes. When he introduced himself and shook her hand, she felt a palpable electricity. A few weeks later, as they lay in bed during an afternoon of lovemaking, Robbie confessed it had felt exactly the same to him.

  Dear God please make him be happy to see me. Please let him love me.

  She took a deep breath and walked in. There were four beds in the room, with privacy curtains drawn around each one, so she could not see which bed was Robbie’s. The room was unusually still, with only the beep, beep, beeping of the heart monitors fracturing the silence. She walked outside and quickly scanned the list of names on the side of the door. There it was: R. Rosen, Window Right.

  She reentered and walked to the far-right corner of the room, to the bed next to the window. She cautiously moved the curtain a few inches—just enough to see inside.

  Tears filled her eyes. Robbie’s face was extremely pale and skeletal—his skin appeared to be stretched to the breaking point over his protruding cheekbones. He did not move. He did not blink. He stared at the ceiling.

  Lily opened the curtain wider and the rustling of the fabric captured Robbie’s attention. He looked up and stared at her, but his expression remained stoic. Oh my God, he doesn’t know who I am.

  Robbie blinked his eyes a few times and then they widened. His chin began to quiver and his eyes filled with tears. The two stared at each other and Lily was unable to move. Slowly, Robbie lifted his right hand to her— his eyes never left hers.

  She moved closer to him, took his hand in hers, and sat beside his bed. Tears streamed down both their faces. She lifted his hand and kissed it.

  Robbie was so weak that when he spoke it was barely a whisper. Lily had to lean in to hear him say, “Lil, I have dreamed about you and imagined you so many times, that when I saw you standing there, I didn’t think you were real.”

  Lily put his hand on her heart and at that moment she was certain that, while New York City was 4,000 miles away, she had finally come home.

  Chapter 31

  The next couple of days and nights, Lily a and David took turns seated by Robbie’s bedside while he drifted in and out of sleep. The parade of nurses and doctors seemed unending. Robbie would awaken for short intervals, say a few incoherent words, and float back into a drug-induced slumber.

  One afternoon, after Robbie had fallen asleep, Lily was seated on the chair by his bedside, thumbing through fashion magazines. Robbie began to moan and slowly rock side to side. He started breathing rapidly and put his hands up, palms toward his forehead, in a defensive gesture, then started screaming while tears streamed down his face.

  Lily rushed over to him. “Robbie, you’re safe. It’s Lily, wake up.” When he opened his eyes, he was covered in sweat and seemed wrought with fear. Lily wiped his face with a damp cloth until his breathing returned to normal.

  He stared at Lily and the terror in his eyes rapidly devolved into shame and embarrassment. Robbie swiped the towel out of Lily’s hand and rolled on his side. “Go away.”

  “It’s going to be okay, Robbie, I promise.” Lily said soothingly

  He grabbed the rail on the side of his bed and pulled himself up. He put his other hand on his chest and winced in pain. “
I said get out.”

  Tears stung her eyes and Lily hastily left the room. She walked over to the nurse’s station to find Esther so that she could inform her of what had happened.

  The nurses at the hospital were adept at their jobs and, from what Lily had gathered in the few days she had been there, calm in the face of emergency. The one nurse Lily connected with almost immediately was Esther Cohen. She was an attractive woman with salt-and-pepper, shoulder-length wavy hair and smiling eyes that looked perpetually amused, as if she was always on the verge of sharing a funny anecdote. Lily found her down to earth, compassionate, and quick-witted. There was something about her that reminded Lily of Daisy—not in looks but in the way she lived her life. Esther seemed to take things in stride and had Daisy’s flair for immediately sizing up a situation and giving the perfect advice.

  Esther listened to Lily’s account of what had just taken place and her heart went out to the young woman. She did not know much about Robbie’s story or of his involvement with the actress, but had gathered bits and pieces from information that had been flying around the base since the first day Robbie was brought in. Months earlier, they had all heard of an Al Shabaab abduction involving an American doctor working with Doctors Without Borders in Mogadishu.

  Of course the appearance of the famous actress, Lily Lockwood, sent her colleagues into a marathon chinwag. One afternoon, while Esther was in the nurses’ lounge, the gab fest reached a new crescendo and she told them firmly to keep quiet—and to focus on giving the patient the best care possible and to cut out the gossip. Since Esther was their boss, the chatter stopped—or at least they refrained from talking about Robbie or Lily whenever Esther was within earshot.

  Esther looked at the beautiful but distraught young woman standing in front of her. Her heart went out to Lily, all the more so as Lily seemed to be about the same age as Esther’s niece Laurie. She could not imagine Laurie being alone, so far from home, having to deal with a situation as serious and as emotionally charged as this one. From the stories she had heard, not only was Lily a talented actress but also a certifiable hero.

  Esther smiled at the young woman. “I’ll look in on him. As a heads up to you, Dr. Rosen is on a lot of morphine, so don’t worry about what he says or doesn’t say. And the nightmares, well those are to be expected. He went through a traumatic experience that is bound to play out in his dreams. Add the morphine to that and…well, you saw what happened.”

  “Yes of course, you’re right. It just shook me up a bit, that’s all.”

  Esther’s heart gave a tug when relief sweep over Lily. “For now, why don’t you go outside, take a walk, and clear your head a bit. Captain Sherman will be back from his meeting by early evening. I know he wants to sit down with you and Robbie’s brother when he reaches the hospital.”

  Esther smiled. “Meanwhile my shift’s over in about twenty minutes. Why don’t you come with me for a bite to eat? The change of scenery will do you good.”

  An hour later Lily and Esther were seated in a small restaurant outside the Burg Nanstein—Landstuhl’s famous castle, 6 kilometers away from the medical center. Even though portions of the castle, built in 1162, were in ruins, the grandness of the fortress’s sweeping, grey stone walls, wood-covered terraces, and stone turrets remained intact. The view from the outdoor restaurant was breathtaking. Lily and Esther could look out over the quaint village below and see charming white homes with clay- colored roofs nestled among the lush dark green forest and small knolls.

  “That church is beautiful.” Lily pointed to a statuesque white steeple that stood tall among the smaller buildings. “Oh my God, is that a Mickey D’s?” Lily pointed to a tall sign that had the familiar “ M”—recognizable all over the world as the symbol for the fast food restaurant. It towered over the Autobahn exit.

  Esther laughed. She took off her thick black glasses and wiped the lenses with a cloth napkin. “Sure is. There are so many Americans here, because of Landstuhl Regional Medical Center and Ramstein Air Base, that the franchise decided what better place to bring burgers and fries than to the Village Melkerei?”

  Lily laughed and looked below. She leaned back in her seat, took a deep breath, and relaxed for the first time in days.

  The waitress, a tall blonde, walked over to them and handed them menus.

  “Lily Lockwood, I am such a big fan of yours. It’s an honor to serve you today. May I please have your autograph?” She handed Lily a piece of paper and pen.

  Lily smiled and graciously, “What is your name?”

  “Katja, K-a-t-j-a.”

  Lily signed her name and handed the paper back to Katja who quickly seized it as if she feared Lily might have second thoughts about allowing the waitress to keep it. By that time, a buzz floated through the café and the patrons at the other tables turned in their seats to look at Lily.

  When Katja walked away, proudly holding the autograph, Esther shook her head. “I imagine this happens all the time, huh?”

  Lily chuckled. “Yes, it’s all part of the business.”

  Esther looked over the menu at Lily, who seemed transformed from the distressed young woman that she had been a mere sixty minutes before.

  “Don’t think you are the only celebrity in this area. I will have you know that this small area of only nine thousand people was the birthplace of Rob Thomas, lead singer of Matchbox 20, and of LeVar Burton, as well as of a few well-known athletes whose names I’ve forgotten.

  Katja returned to take their orders.

  “I’ll have the mushroom Schnitzel plate and salad.” Lily said

  “I’ll have the Leberknoedel with extra kraut please. And a beer.” Esther pointed to Lily. “Make that two beers.”

  After Katja walked away, Lily looked at Esther and smiled. “I want to thank you for inviting me for a bite. It’s a welcome change of pace.”

  Esther smiled and made a toast with the beer stein in front of her. “To Robbie’s complete recovery.”

  Lily raised hers and said, “I’ll drink to that. So Esther, tell me, how did you end up in West Germany?”

  “Well, I lived on Staten Island and was a nurse for many years at Staten Island University Hospital. You may already know that many of the firefighters who lost their lives on 9/11 lived on Staten Island. Several friends and relatives of ours were among those killed.

  “My husband Phil was a firefighter with Ladder Company 3 and on 9/11 was one of the first responders. He and his company were responsible for saving hundreds of lives. Many of the people Phil guided to safety contacted me to make sure I knew what a hero my husband had been. Phil was last seen in the North Tower on the 40th floor.” Esther took off her glasses and touched her eyes with her napkin. “He had always been a hero to me. On 9/11, he became our country’s hero.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  Esther smiled and shook her head. “When I kissed him goodbye that morning, I could never have known that it would be our last kiss.” She took another sip of beer and feigned a smile, “So, I ended up enlisting. I felt like I had to do something to continue the legacy that my Phil and the rest of the firefighters had started. I’ve been here ever since.”

  “Do you have any children?”

  Esther shook her head. “No, we had just started trying to get pregnant the summer before. Guess it was not in the cards for us.”

  Katja brought the food over and placed the steaming dishes down in front of the two women.

  “Dig in,” Esther said with a bravado she did not at all feel. Even so many years later, every time she spoke of Phil and of his tragic death, her stomach would be in knots for hours.

  Lily took a bite of her Schnitzel and her eyes widened. “Oh my God, this is amazing.”

  “Delicious, right? I’m addicted to the Leberknoedel. I have to have my fix once or twice a week.

  “What is it?”

  “Liver dumplings in broth. Want a bite?” Esther lifted her spoon.

  “ Uh. . . no thanks.” They both laughed.
/>
  “How long were you and Phil married?” Lily asked

  “Only five years, but we’d known each other since Mrs. Spadafore’s fourth-grade class. You could say we were soul mates or, as our mothers used to say, our relationship was bashert—we were intended for each other.”

  Lily was amazed to hear that word, bashert, from Esther, because she’d just been thinking of the story Robbie had told her about his grandparents and about the silver cord that tied their hearts together.

  Lily told Esther the story of Chaya Ruchel and David and the silver cord that kept them connected and how, after so many years in the concentration camp, they had been reunited. Esther’s eyes misted up a number of times during the story. She shook her head when Lily told her about Chaya Ruchel’s years in Auschwitz.

  Esther said, “Ýou know, Lily, it’s ironic that here Robbie is recovering in Germany, after being held captive in Somalia. Many of the German staff in the hospital may have been descendants of the Nazi’s that held his grandmother captive in the concentration camp.

  Lily shook her head. “Wow, I hadn’t thought of that.”

  Esther replied, “It’s amazing. What’s also remarkable is that David knew, even as a young boy, that Chaya Ruchel was his bashert.”

  Lily paused, lifted her beer, and finished it off. “You know, I feel the same way with Robbie. I’ve always felt there was a bond—” Lily chuckled nervously “—very much like the silver cord. I had no idea Robbie had been abducted, but I felt an undeniable force pulling me toward him.” Lily paused, embarrassed. “Do you think I’m crazy?”

  Esther leaned in closer to her new friend. “It worked, didn’t it? You followed the silver cord 8,000 miles, all the way to Somalia. I wouldn’t call that crazy, I would call that bashert.