Dead Paper Birds

by Megan McKinney

  At the bottom I laid there with the world spinning around me. I turned over and Rick was right there. He grabbed a hand and pulled me to my feet. “C’mon. We have to get out.”

  As soon as I was on my feet he pushed me to go first. I took the stairs two at a time, leaping over them as fast as I dared. Rick was on my heels the entire time. His harsh breathing sounded like he was breathing into my ear. Behind us, no longer caring about secrecy, shouts were mingling with footsteps. They were coming.

  Finally, on the first floor, the door that would lead us out of here was wide open. I jumped over the last few steps already running as my feet hit the ground. As soon as I passed through the doorway I spun around raising the gun. I gave Rick a fraction of a second to dive out of the way. It only clicked. I tried squeezing the trigger but nothing. I ducked behind the wall, bullets flying following me to the edge.

  Rick was standing on my other side; fumbling with something in his bag. “Listen,” He whispered hoarsely. “You need to get out. Just go.”

  I shook my head, breathlessly I whispered back, “The gun. It won’t fire.”

  “Did you pump it?”

  “What? No. No, I didn’t.”

  I reached out to do so but Rick grabbed my hand. It was only then that I noticed it was silent. Rick stepped around me and I slid down the wall, taking his place. His backpack was strapped tightly to his shoulders. In his right hand he was holding something small and black. He pulled something off of it, waited for just a moment then tossed it around the corner. I had enough time to register that it was quiet enough to hear it hit the ground and cause echoes before Rick was pushing me down.

  A brilliant white light and a sudden small explosion came from around the corner. The sudden noise made me clutch my ears and whimper in pain. I dropped the rest of the way to the ground. My head, the pain was building. Like a rod of lightening had been shoved through my forehead and out through the back. Before I could even try to recover, to look at my surroundings, Rick was pulling me to my feet. Dragging me when I couldn’t get my feet up. Around the next corner he pulled me firmly to my feet and holding me by the wrist he dragged me through a maze of halls.

  As soon as he let go of me I stopped and fell against the nearest wall. I stood there leaning against it. Trying my hardest to fight through the pain. It was building, magnifying instead.

  “Blue Bird do you copy? This is A.W. I’m requesting immediate extraction. Mercy Hospital. South Building.”

  I opened my eyes that were blurry, unfocused from the pain. Rick was facing me, watching me. He was holding a radio in his hand, listening to it before responding with an “Affirmative.” He tucked the radio away. “Alright you’ve had a breather. That’s all we have the time for.”

  This time he gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me along at a slower pace this time. We passed through a set of double doors. The sign on them read: Emergency Department. What we saw when we opened the doors, it didn’t even remotely look like a room in the hospital but more like a war zone. Skeletons were scattered across the room, bullets had ripped apart walls, furniture and people alike.

  We moved move slowly through here. At a crossroads, where four hallways intersected, Rick let go of my hand and gestured for me to stay. He cautiously approached the corner. He edged out to cross, still gesturing for me to stay. As Rick crossed there was an explosion of gun fire. He dropped to the ground, never making a sound. As he fell time seemed to slow. As he fell, Rick twisted to land on his back. His head smacked the tiled flooring. He didn’t move.

  “Rick!” The scream rips itself from my throat before I even registered the full impact of the situation. I pulled the gun up and charged around the corner. A petite figure was standing just in the hallway. I pulled the trigger aiming for it. They dived back into the room. The doorframe splintered right where they’d been. I pulled on the slide while stalking forward.

  At this point everything, all logic, everything had been pushed aside. Killing them was the only thing that mattered. It was as if someone had put red colored glasses over my eyes, all I saw was red. I entered the room the person ducked into. Sweeping left and right, I crossed the room to the second door. I slipped through the chaos of the room, stepping over broken tables and chairs. The other door opened up to an empty hallway. I looked both ways, even going so far as to take a few hesitant steps to my left.

  This stupid. You’re going to get yourself killed. Go back to Rick. He’ll be dead for sure if you don’t. I grit my teeth, looking around one more time before back tracking. I ran back through the room and back into the original hallway. I stopped. Panic was now running rampant through me.

  Rick was gone.

  A shoe scraped the ground. I whipped around coming face to face with a gun barrel. I gasped involuntarily as something cold was pressed against the back of my head. The gun in my face was lowered. A petite woman stood in front of me with a large smirk on her face. Bright blue eyes glittered out of a gaunt face. She reached forward and pulled the shotgun out of my hands. She handed it off to someone else who disappeared behind me. I swallowed thickly. Her grin only widened.

  “This is for trying to shoot me, bitch.” She punched me in the face, knocking me back onto my butt. “Stand her up.” She ordered.

  Hands grabbed my arms, pulling me to my feet. They held me in place while she hit me again. This time square on the nose. Blood started gushing. It poured down across my mouth, down my chin and down into my jacket. She stepped back this time pulling a pistol out. She pointed it at me and fired. Blinding, agonizing pain erupted in my thigh. I screamed, this time they let me drop to the ground. I clutched at my leg trying to stop the bleeding. Hot, thick blood oozed from in-between my fingers staining myself and the ground around me crimson. I sobbed. Using everything I had to stop from screaming again.

  A hood was dragged over my head. Rough hands ripped my backpack from me, they ripped everything off but my pants and my shirt. They even took my socks. They dragged me through the building. After only a few turns my sense of direction was gone. The blood on my face had soaked through the hood, making it stick to my face. I gasped heavily for air through it.

  Outside the cold wind blew right thru my clothes. Rain lashed heavily at me, chilling me to the bone. My feet already cold were numb after only a few steps outside. The ground felt like ice. I was forced to step through puddles that splashed up my legs. With no warning I was forced into what felt like a trunk of a car. Someone slammed the door shut trapping me inside.

  Chapter twenty-two… I’m in trouble and I’m not afraid to admit it

  I felt myself blink. I blinked again. No change. I held my hand up in front of my face, slowly bringing it closer till I touched myself. Nothing, not an ounce of light not even reflecting from my skin. Through my ruined nose there was a strong smell of mildew and oil. Under me and all around me the enclosed space was vibrating with more than occasional bump. I ran my hands around me, as far as they could reach. Rough carpet was underneath me and all around me. One wall felt slightly warmer than all the rest. I pressed myself sideways against it. My feet and hands were numb, I shoved my hands into my armpits. Although I couldn't do much to help my feet. My left leg was refusing to work. Every time I tried, the leg radiated with pain that made my stomach heave. The swelling as a side effect caused my thigh to fill my pant leg; the material was so tight around it that it was causing even more pain. By bending my knee slightly, I was able to alleviate some of the pressure. Other than that, what was I going to do, take my pants off and show off my underwear? No. But on the other hand I can try to cut the fabric off; I thought miserably while I ran my hands lightly around my thigh feeling the swelling, if only I had something sharp to do it with. To top it off it felt like someone had tightly wrapped bandages around it. Which explained the lack of blood I was finding.

  Stiffly I fell back huddled against the wall. Exhaustion was beginning to wrap its hands around me. Even in the dark I kept my eyes awake. I shouldn’t fall asleep. I should
stay awake. Soon it was genuinely taking all of my concentration to stay awake. I took to gently pinching my arm every time I started to nod off. It would be blissful to disappear...

  I pinched gently, just hard enough to hurt. It would be blissful indeed, just to give in. I want to fight it, I need to...

  I had to pinch harder this time. I need to fight this, to just fight it as long as possible. I just… have to keep… myself… occupied…

  The sun was shining and warm on my face. It was a red glare from behind my closed eyes. But that’s wrong… why is it shining? Why is it warm? I opened my eyes before sitting up, I had to sit there for a moment. Just to stare around me, to try to take it all in. I climbed to my feet, brushing my hair back behind my ears. I was standing in a field of wildflowers. Pinks, blues, purples, yellows and, reds bobbed on the breeze. They swayed softly, their leaves reaching for the sky even as they danced. As I walked through them, I ran my fingers softly across their petals. The dirt was soft and warm under my bare feet. Above me the clear sky was blue, with the sun directly overhead. Around me stretching for miles and miles was just flowers. Small insects buzzed around me, bees climbing in and out of flowers covered in pollen. Butterflies floated in circles occasionally landing softly here and there. I’m so insignificant here. I’m just a part of the scenery. I couldn’t contain my smile. This just felt too good to be true.

  “If this is a dream, then I don’t think I want to wake up.” I whispered.

  The fabric that I fluttered around me wasn’t familiar. I looked down my body to see that I was wearing a white sundress with pink flowers scattered across it. The dress reached my knees, and instead of feeling vulnerable, I felt comfortable. This was the perfect place for a dress like this. I inhaled slowly through my nose, smelling the flowers, dirt and… BBQ? I turned around slowly, more confused than ever.

  A small yellow house was sitting on a slight rise, only truly noticeable because the house was surrounded by a white picket fence. A tall oak tree was standing tall and proud in the front yard and it even had a swing hanging from one of its branches. I cut through the sea of flowers, taking in all of the details. The house had a covered porch which held a BBQ and a table with a matching set of chairs. In front of the grill, Dad was cooking.

  That can’t be… Am I dead?

  Hesitantly I opened the gate. Squealing hinges announced my arrival. Dad looked up from the grill before hurriedly hanging up his tongs and rushing down the stairs. I rushed into the yard to meet him. He wrapped me in a hug, his arms wrapping themselves across my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he picked me up and swung me around. Laughing he put me down. His smile was happy but his eyes looked so sad. He looked almost exactly how I remembered him.

  “Am I dead?”

  He shook his head, “No, you're still very much alive. But I’m not.” He set a warm hand on the side of my head, pulling me in close. “A dream. That’s all. But dreams are supposed to be good. Right?”

  I don't know how long we stood there. All I know is that it felt timeless, both forever and nothing. He didn’t say anything else, neither did I. There wasn’t much to say. But there was, wasn’t there? Even as the thought crossed my mind a cold wind blew. Whipping my hair and dress around me.

  “Dad?”

  He stepped away, pulling himself out of my hands with his own dropping to his sides. “There's nothing I can do, not anymore. Be brave. For me.”

  “Dad? Seriously. All you can say is `be brave for you’? That's all you can say?” I yelled as I furiously followed him down the steps up to the gate.

  “Alice.” He turned around suddenly, “There's nothing I can do. I’m dead and gone.” He grabbed my shoulders, squeezing them tightly. “I. Am. Dead. But you`re not, neither is the rest of our family. They need you. Go home, back to them. I’ve always done what’s been best for you.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “I love you, and I love your mother and sister. Don’t ever doubt that.” Dark clouds were building up above us, heavy clouds that filled the sky.

  “I love you, Dad.” I whispered as he disappeared in front of me. The temperature plummeted as the last touch of him on my shoulders faded away. The flowers, grass, it all died. Slowly wilting at first, then turning brown before succumbing. Raindrops began to fall; the sprinkle quickly became a downpour. Each raindrop felt like a piece of ice, stabbing all over my body. All except my thigh. It was a fireball of pain. I crumpled to the ground, screaming. Reality seemed to flicker, right on the edge of my vision, as if I squinted at the right angle, I could see everything. Behind me the radio that was on the porch crackled to life. Static filled the air, then voices started pouring through. None of them clear enough to understand. But one voice stood out. I couldn't follow the words but I could follow the voice; it was the same greasy voice that had haunted me for years.

  Except he was supposed to be dead. I tried backing away. Somehow, I slipped. Even as I fell backwards, I had the time to consider that the mud was going to absolutely ruin this dress. But then I kept falling. I fell through the ground, through a circle which floated above me. A grey circle was all that was left of my dream. As it grew smaller and smaller, I looked around me. I was surrounded by nothing. I was free falling through nothing. There was no wind. No light. Above me the circle had disappeared, I just don't know how long ago. One minute it was there the next it was just gone. When I did land, it wasn’t how I expected; softly, like a feather. Strangely, I was warm and comfortable.

  To my left a chair groaned then footsteps shuffled towards me. My eyelids were too heavy to open; besides I was simply content to lie there. I don’t know what that dream was but I feel even more exhausted than when it started. The footsteps stopped right next to me. A warm hand gently touched the side of my face.

  “I’m going to give you something that’ll let you get some actual rest. I just needed you to wake up first.”

  I tried to speak but my mouth was dryer than sandpaper, nothing more than a croak escaped my throat. There was some fumbling to my left then something was pressed to my lips.

  “It’s a straw in some water. Drink.”

  I wrapped my dry, cracked lips around the straw. The water wasn’t cold but it wasn’t warm either but nothing had ever tasted better. After a few sips it was pulled away. Content I dropped my head back onto the bed. Warm hands turned my arm over before swabbing it was something cold. The prick of the needle in my elbow forced my eyes to pop open and my brain to wake up.

  “Hello.”

  Vince smiled sadly down at me. “You sure didn't do a good job. Now did you?”

  Chapter twenty-three… Someone really has some ‘splaining to do

  “I do have to say, that at least you are very clear about what you want.” Vince spoke softly. He had pulled a chair up next to the bed where he had perched himself on the edge of it, content to watch me. At first, I tried to ignore him but as the drug started to work its way through my system, I had to turn to him to keep me awake. I hung onto every word that he said, even if words weren’t making sense anymore, I would stay awake. The worst part, the worst part of all this was this drug was making me not care about ANYTHING. I felt passive, just simply content to be lying down instead of standing. I wiggled my fingers, I had to do something just so it wouldn’t feel like I was floating away from my body.

  Vince dropped a strong, calloused hand on top of my, pulling my attention back fully but only delaying the inevitable. “You wanted revenge, well I mean, you still probably do since I didn’t die like you wanted me to. But that's simple. That’s a simple problem connected to a bit more complicated problem. Connected in a big way and in more than one, you just don't see it yet.” He paused to cough, grunting in pain and grabbing his wound. He caught his breathe before resuming, “I mean for one, you didn't know that I was looking for revenge on your dad, which was in of itself was creating another cycle of violence through you. Believe me or not it was not my intent-”

  Vince was cut off by a loud knock at the door. He pu
lled in a deep breath and sat there for a moment before blowing it out slowly. He repeated himself three more times before he stood up. “Another time then.” He quipped.

  He strode to the door, yanking it open. In through the open-door weak light illuminated a small room, empty except for the bed and cupboards with countertops. Behind himself, Vince shut the door surprisingly quietly. Lying in the near dark it was only a matter of minutes before I was deeply asleep.

  …

  I opened my eyes slowly. The room was still the same near dark it was before. I tried rubbing my face on my shoulders to rub the sleep out of my eyes but it only sort of worked, I ended up mostly rubbing my cheeks to death. It looked like there was something blocking most of the window that was set in the wall to the left of the door. Small rays of light made their way through to brighten the room slightly. It was something at least. Way better than lying here in the complete dark. Out of peer nerves, I couldn’t stop myself from peering around. It genuinely seemed like I was the only one in here. Despite the ache that had settled in my body I pulled on both my arms, which strained against the rope that was threatening to break my skin. After several fruitless tugs I gave up on them. I pulled on my right leg, again the rope had been tied too well. I wasn’t about to try the same trick on my left leg, instead I pulled my upper body up as far as I could to try to see. A blanket covered both legs and the end of the bed. I dropped back down with a grunt. Even if it is untied, what exactly do I plan on doing with it? Nothing. That’s what.

  But which it so happens that they’re still tied, which gives me the same end result. Which means lying here and- Shut up! I screamed inside my head. Just stop! You are stuck, yes. It sucks, it sucks so much. But if you have any luck on your side, it’ll be just you. Richard and Dean, if they have any brains, they’ll be hightailing it back home. I cursed bitterly, I hope they have at least one fully functioning brain between the two of them. I could have been with them if I just hadn’t screwed up so badly. Maybe if I’d stayed back and reevaluated the whole situation instead of just charging ahead this whole situation could have been avoided. Even if I had stayed back, Rick still would have died. But maybe everything wouldn’t be so screwed up.